by J. O Mantel
It hurt Alex to hear those words, especially coming from Hunter. Although, how does someone ever really get over a tragedy like that? Alex could totally understand why Hunter couldn’t trust himself, and it pained Alex so much not being able to share Hunter’s grief.
“I knew Bree, and I loved her, we all did, and the pain and grief that you’re going through, even now, is proof enough that you gave her the life that she deserved. You gave her everything, Hunter, just look at that beautiful little girl of yours. She’s all the proof you need of that love.”
Hunter had heard all this before. He knew how precious Lili was, not only to himself, but all his family and friends.
“Thank you,” Hunter found himself saying, as he leaned toward Alex with a hug. “This has meant a lot to me.”
“Anytime,” Alex replied.
Hunter knew that Alex was genuine and could always be relied on.
With his curiosity still heavy over his anonymous and mysterious Valentine, Hunter headed home and let Alex get to work.
LOVE!
THAT FOUR-LETTER word meant so much for many people. Happiness, joy, sex, and trust. For Hunter though, those four letters were full of nothing but emotions of hurt, anger, and fear. He never looked forward to Valentine’s Day, even though it was his little girl’s birthday. The day used to bring him so much joy and love, but now he was forced to hold back tears of sorrow for everything he’d lost on that particular day.
It still wasn’t easy seeing all the heart-shaped chocolates in stores, along with pink heart-shaped cards, and flowers. Everywhere he went, the memory of him and Bree came floating back to mind, and it saddened him to no end.
But Lili’s special day was fast approaching, and Hunter was no closer to organizing her birthday party than he was to figuring out who the mysterious cupid leaving him love notes was. Love made people do crazy and stupid things, although for Hunter, the thought of love actually made him sick to the pit of his stomach. He closed his eyes as he lay on the couch, trying to stop the room from spinning, but all that managed to do was bring Andy to mind, and how Hunter had found himself ogling Andy back at the gas station.
Wait, what? Andy? Why the hell am I thinking about Andy?
Hunter’s eyes flicked open. He sat up on the couch and scanned the room. He could hear Lili playing joyfully in the playroom, and a smile washed over his face. He ran his fingers through his hair, frustrated at his thoughts. This wasn’t right, he wasn’t meant to be thinking about anyone else, especially right now. In less than a week, he was going to be celebrating his daughter’s birthday and honoring the memory of his late wife.
“Why is it so hard for me to let you go, Bree?” Hunter whispered.
He shut his eyes again and placed his head in his hands, trying to pull himself together before his mother arrived. It wasn’t until he heard a firm knock, knock, knock, that he raised his head. Standing up, he walked over to his front door, unlocked it, and pulled it open. His gaze was paralyzed by the person standing in front of him.
“Andy?” Hunter’s eyes roamed over Andy’s face.
“Hey,” Andy replied.
“What are you doing here?” Hunter asked.
“I was in the area and thought I’d stop by for a drink, and to see if you’re all right.”
“Whatever gave you the idea that I wasn’t?” Hunter questioned, although he realized his behavior of late was probably a solid indication that he was far from it. Of course, he wasn’t about to admit that to Andy.
“Do you really want me to answer that?” Andy asked, eyes now trailing the length of Hunter’s body. Hunter couldn’t explain it, but he was feeling something, something that was a genuine reaction, and it didn’t feel right. With Andy’s eyes traveling all over him, Hunter suddenly felt his cock twitch.
“Uh, hum,” Hunter cleared his throat, trying to withdraw from the unwelcome feeling.
“Are you going to invite me in, or are we going to have a conversation at the front door?”
Andy’s mouth curved into an infectious smile, and Hunter tried to evaporate the unwelcome heat he was feeling by not returning the gaze. He failed, however, and stepped aside, allowing Andy access to his living room. A weird burst of energy pushed through Hunter’s veins as Andy’s eyes met his with an intense gaze before traveling the rest of his body.
Did Andy just check me out? That stare, or whatever it was, felt intense, Hunter couldn’t describe it, or how he even felt about it, for that matter. As they walked through the living room, Andy’s tender gaze didn’t leave Hunter’s. Gesturing Andy to sit down, Hunter offered a drink.
“Uh, I don’t keep a lot of alcohol here, I can’t be too careful with a toddler in the house,” Hunter told Andy.
“Lili is hardly a toddler,” Andy corrected, looking around the living room. “And speaking of Lili, where is the little munchkin?”
“She’s in the playroom,” Hunter replied, heading for the kitchen to prepare their drinks.
“I think I might go and say hello.” Andy stood from the couch and walked over to the playroom. The door was open, so Andy walked in. Lili was sitting by the window, playing with one of her many dolls. She had become a regular at the station, and Hunter’s team spoiled her.
“There’s my little munchkin,” Andy beamed, getting Lili’s attention.
“Andy!” Lili’s little face lit up, as she stood up and ran toward Andy, who greeted her with open arms.
“Mwah! How are you, princess?” Andy asked, scooping her up from the floor and giving her a sloppy kiss on the cheek.
“Good. You want to play with me and Jasmine?” Lili asked, pointing her finger in the direction of her dolls.
“I’d love to play with you and Jasmine,” Andy replied, walking over to the area in front of the window.
Andy gently placed Lili on the floor, before sitting down beside her, and the two of them began playing with her doll collection. Andy loved Lili and enjoyed spending time with her and Hunter. With Hunter’s insecurity about leaving Lili alone with anyone other than his mom or in-laws, it was often hard for anyone to spend time with either of them. Andy and Lili laughed as they had a quiet little tea party with Jasmine and her many friends, and they were having such a great time, neither of them noticed Hunter standing in the doorway watching them.
Andy had always been good to Hunter, kind, friendly, and an excellent listener, not to mention, great with kids, especially Lili. Over the years, they’d developed an extremely close bond, and sometimes Hunter felt closer to Andy than he did Carter, which was odd considering he was more a part of their lives than Andy.
“Can I join this tea party, or is it an invitation for two only?” Hunter finally spoke.
Andy was quick to turn around and notice the man still standing there, resting his head against the doorjamb and holding two glasses of what Andy assumed was Jack and Coke.
“I’m sorry, I guess I got a little caught up. Lili and I were just playing around,” Andy said.
“You don’t need to apologize. Lili loves spending time with you.”
“And I love spending time with her,” Andy replied with a beaming smile at Lili.
“Are you hungry, pumpkin?” Hunter asked.
Lili shook her head. “No, Daddy.”
“I’m going to be in the living room with Andy. If you need me, just yell out, okay?”
“Okay, Daddy.”
“Lili?” Andy said. “High five?” Raising a hand, Lili smacked her tiny hand against Andy’s with a joyful smile. The two of them headed for the living room, leaving Lili to play alone.
“She really is a great kid, Hunter.” Andy smiled, sitting down on the couch.
“Thank you,” was all Hunter managed as he sank into the armchair next to his colleague.
Hunter could feel his chest rise and fall with each breath he took, which was stupid because he didn’t know why he was finding it so hard to breathe properly. There was something about bei
ng in the same room with Andy that made him feel slightly… uneasy. As uneasy as it was, he couldn’t bring himself to say anything, or move away from Andy either, for that matter.
What the hell is wrong with me? I’ve been in the same room with Andy many times. Stop it! He told himself.
As his stare met Andy’s, Hunter tried to control the uneasy feeling he had. He lifted the glass to his lips and took a long and loud sip of his drink. Then he asked, “Would you like something to eat?”
“No, I’m good, thanks,” Andy replied, also taking a long sip from the glass.
Why the hell does this feel so fucking weird?
Andy’s thoughts were racing as eyes went from Hunter to scanning the room.
“So, what brings you by?” Hunter asked again.
“Like I said, I was in the neighborhood and thought I’d drop in.”
It wasn’t very often that Hunter got visitors. Usually, he was out working or shopping with Lili. The truth was, he didn’t like staying home, the confines of his four-bedroom home brought him too many haunting memories of what he’d once had with Bree. He tried to keep himself busy with work, or helping his mom with stuff around her home, while at the same time trying to raise a child on his own. Some days were better than others, and he’d be able to get through the simple routine without getting emotional or having a memory of Bree. Then there were the days where he would just be completely useless.
“Sorry, I’m not normally used to visitors, unless it’s my mother or the in-laws, of course. Usually, it’s just me and Lili at home alone,” Hunter confessed.
“Why don’t …,” Andy tried to choose the words carefully. “Do you have plans tonight?”
What Hunter wanted to say was ‘yes, that he had plans.’ The truth was, he had absolutely nothing planned at all.
Shaking his head, Hunter simply replied, “No, I don’t.”
“Can you organize a sitter for Lili?”
“A sitter?” Hunter’s reply was full of curiosity.
“Yeah, a sitter.”
Hunter knew exactly where Andy was going with this conversation, and once again, he wanted to tell Andy that he had absolutely no desire to do anything. Instead, Hunter settled for the truth. “My mother’s actually coming over. She’s going to sit with Lili for a few hours while I get some work done in the yard.”
Hunter and Bree had made plans to renovate the house after they’d bought it. They were going to add an extra bedroom, as well as a library. With the huge space in the backyard, they’d made the decision to install a pool. When Bree passed away, however, all the renovations were put on hold so Hunter could raise his daughter. Now that she was older, he decided he wanted to finish the place and make it exactly the way Bree would have wanted it.
“Perfect! Your mom can watch over Lili. Then tonight, you and me, Hunter, are going to hit the club scene.”
And there it is.
“Club? Ah … no thanks.”
“That wasn’t a request, Hunter.”
Hunter’s stare met Andy’s. He hadn’t been to a club since … well, never. He and Bree didn’t even do game night, or movie night. Before they were married, on Friday evenings at six, Hunter would finish his shift at the station and head over to Bree’s. Then the two of them would drive to their favorite restaurant for dinner, Tom’s or Monk’s, as it was best known on Seinfeld, Bree’s favorite television show. They’d sit in the first or second booth closest to the entrance, just as Jerry, Elaine, George, and Kramer once did, before heading home to spend the rest of the night sitting on the couch and watching reruns of the show.
“Hunter? Did you hear what I said?” Andy’s voice brought Hunter back to the present.
“Huh?” Hunter said.
“As soon as your mother gets here, you’re going to get your ass dressed, then you and me are heading into town.”
“I don’t think so, Andy,” Hunter quickly cut in.
“Like I said, this conversation is non-negotiable.”
“Non-negotiable, really? Stop joking around.”
Andy’s eyes scanned Hunter. “Who’s joking? I’m serious.”
At this point, Hunter knew Andy wasn’t taking ‘no’ for an answer.
“I … uh …” But Hunter had nothing.
“Excellent! Then I’ll meet you back here at, say … eight? Eight thirty?”
Hunter admitted his defeat and simply said, “Fine.”
Andy finished the drink, and as they headed toward the door, he heard the key in the lock.
“That’ll be Mom.”
Hunter reached for the handle just as it swung open, Judith’s beaming smile greeting them.
“Hi, Mom.”
“Hello, sweetheart,” she replied with a generous smile as she walked through the door into his living room.
“Mom, you remember Andy?”
Judith’s mouth curved into another smile as she beamed at Andy.
“Of course! How are you?”
“Very well, thank you, Judith. How are you?”
“Doing fine, thank you.”
These two were no strangers, and Judith absolutely adored Andy. She’d gotten used to seeing Andy at Hunter’s place many times, and just like Carter and Michelle, Andy was a huge and important part of their lives. Judith was thankful that she didn’t have to worry about Hunter not having any friends. Hunter cleared his throat, his eyes were now locked on Andy’s.
“Eight thirty then?” Hunter confirmed, prompting for Andy to make a quick getaway before Judith had a chance to start another conversation.
“Yes!” Andy confirmed. “Well, Judith, it was lovely seeing you again.” Andy beamed a smile at her.
“You too, Andy.”
With that, Hunter raised his eyebrows as Andy walked through the door, leaving Hunter and his mother alone.
“It’s always a pleasure seeing Andy, I can see how happy you are whenever the two of you are in the same room.”
Judith loved Bree, and Hunter knew that she’d never be forgotten, but that certainly didn’t stop his mother from trying to make sure her only son was happy.
Hunter quickly changed the subject. “Lili’s in the playroom, Mom.”
“Did I hear you mention to Andy that the two of you were meeting up later?”
“You don’t miss much, do you?”
“Um … no!” Judith admitted, putting her purse on the couch as she headed for the kitchen.
Hunter sighed. “It’s no big deal, we’re just going to a club. A few drinks, that’s all. Not really my thing to be honest.”
“Oh, really?” his mother inquired.
“Mom, I am not having this conversation with you. Don’t you have a granddaughter to see?”
“Don’t you need to get ready for … where was it that you said you were going, a club?” Judith teased her son as she poured some coffee into her mug.
“Don’t change the subject.”
Judith brought the mug to her lips and took a sip, raising her eyebrows. It was a look Hunter was all too familiar with. He knew exactly what his mother was up to, and what she was trying to do. She was stubborn as hell, and when she was determined about something, especially Hunter’s happiness, she’d stoop to any level to make sure she achieved what she wanted.
“And don’t you talk to me in that tone, Hunter Cassidy!” His mother’s tone told Hunter that she wasn’t impressed with him standing his ground. He knew the only way to keep her quiet would be to shut up and agree to disagree. “Now, I’m going to spend some time with my precious little munchkin. And shouldn’t you be getting ready?”
Hunter wasn’t entirely sure if his mother was asking him a question or giving him an order. Either way, she didn’t wait around for his answer. Taking her coffee, Judith headed for the playroom, leaving Hunter alone in the kitchen.
It was almost eight when Hunter finished his shower. He stood in front of the mirror, razor in hand, when the bathroom door was flun
g open.
“Holy shit! Mom!” Hunter cursed, quickly grabbing the towel off the floor and wrapping it around his naked waist.
“Oh, Hunter, it’s not like you’ve got anything I haven’t seen before,” Judith said, reaching over the vanity to grab a Band-Aid.
“What happened?” Hunter asked, still blushing with embarrassment.
“Oh nothing, Lili just cut her finger on the tea set. Just a little blood, but she’s fine.”
Hunter was used to Lili hurting herself on all sorts of objects around the house, luckily though, it was never anything more than a minor cut.
While his mother attended to Lili’s nursing needs, he quickly put on a pair of boxers and finished shaving. It was a few minutes later when his mother returned to the bathroom.
“How is she?” Hunter asked.
“She’s fine. She’s getting into her pajamas, and I’ll be putting her to bed soon.”
After washing his face, Hunter walked into his bedroom, his mother following closely.
“So, have you thought any more about Lili’s birthday?”
“Mom, please, can we not do this right now!” Hunter snapped. He turned and looked at his mother, her hand was over her mouth, and he knew she was trying to hold back tears.
“I’m sorry,” he said, wrapping his arms around her shoulders.
“No, I’m sorry,” Judith admitted. “I shouldn’t have pushed.”
Releasing the hold on his mother, Hunter opened his closet and started sifting through the countless number of shirts and dress slacks he had on the rack. He pulled out a pair of pants and chose the only two shirts that seemed to catch his attention, and laid them out on the bed. He stood with his hands on his hips, his eyes scanning from left to right. He had no fucking clue what to wear to a club.
And what sort of club are we going to? Knowing Andy, they’d likely end up in jail for being drunk and disorderly, but Hunter didn’t want to think about that. Actually, he didn’t want to think about clubbing, period.
“This is a bad idea. Maybe I should call Andy and say that Lili’s coming down with a virus,” he told himself.