by Harlow Layne
“What are you doing?” I asked, our faces only inches away from each other.
Pulling back, West blinked a couple of times. “Looking at your eyes to see if you’re high.”
“Why?” I cocked my head to the side. Normally the pills didn’t make me feel like this. Maybe it had to do with the beer I had when we ate earlier. “Do you not like me like this?”
He blinked a few times as if he was trying to figure out the answer. “I’m not sure if I do or not.”
“Why?” I shot back. This was fun. The most fun I’d had all week.
“Because you’re acting weird and not like yourself.”
“How am I not acting like myself?” I’d been different to him the entire night. All week if he wanted to get technical.
“You’re being all… flirty.”
“Oh West, I’ve been more than that with you, and you know it.” I gave him my best smile and watched as West’s eyes dilated with want.
“I do know it, and I know what happens immediately afterward.” He swallowed roughly. “I’m not looking for you to reject me tonight or for you to turn into a colossal asshole either.”
“That does sound like me. What if I promise to play nice?” West deserved for me to be nice to him.
“Again, I’d ask if you’re high.”
“Those pills the doctor prescribed for me do make me feel a little loopy. I’m happy. You should take advantage of my good mood.” I drew circles on the inside of his wrist, loving the feel of his soft skin.
West watched with rapt attention, his eyes flitting back and forth between my face and my hand. “Don’t make me regret this,” he said only a second before he leaned in and caressed his soft, full lips against mine.
That was our only soft touch. Wrapping my hand around his neck, I held West to me as I plunged my tongue into his hungry mouth. He tasted like mint. Had he brushed his teeth before he came back into my room? That little devil.
West’s fingers tugged at the strands of my hair, making my head angle to the side as he deepened our kiss. Even though we’d had a couple of lip locks in the past, this one was the real deal. Tonight, there was no hatred between us—only attraction and need.
“More,” I murmured into his mouth.
His nimble fingers undid each button of the shirt I’d borrowed from him earlier that day. I needed to get some of my own. West removed it from one side and pushed the other side underneath me before his trembling fingers ghosted across the taut ridges of my abs, all the while, his lips never left mine.
My head swam in ecstasy with each plunge of his tongue and nip to my lips. Why had I denied myself this for so long?
Breaking our kiss, West panted above me. His eyes were lit with so much happiness, it made a smile start to spread across my face.
“This has to be a dream,” he said softly. His eyes now trailed over my face as if looking for any trace for it to be unreal.
“If it was, would it feel this good?”
My hand went to his t-shirt to remove it from his body. With one hand, I couldn’t get it all the way, but West helped me and then threw it off to the side.
Rising up on my good elbow, I gave in to every desire I’d had from the first moment I saw Weston Jackson. “Come closer so I can touch you,” I ordered. Not being able to move my right arm really sucked at this moment.
Instead of moving closer, West rolled off me and onto his side. “Can you lie on your side?” he quietly asked as if he might break the spell between us.
Slowly I moved to my side, so I was facing West. The moment I got comfortable, he inched closer until our bare chests were brushing. My hand went to his waist, splayed out, and started to learn the plains of his torso.
The hard muscles underneath his soft, mocha skin twitched as my fingers glided over them.
“Can I touch you?” West panted against my mouth. His heavy breaths fanned over my face as one hand skated over my pectoral muscle. Leaning closer, I ran my mouth along the column of his throat as West circled the flat plane of my nipple with his finger and then his hot, wet tongue, driving me wild.
My dick throbbed and ached behind my athletic shorts. West’s hand moved down my body tentatively, as if he could read my mind or my body. When his hand gripped my cock through my shorts, my hips jerked up, and I moaned deep in my throat.
Bringing his mouth back to mine, West stopped with our noses touching. “Is this okay?”
“No,” I grunted.
West’s face jerked back in surprise as I pushed my aching dick harder into his hand.
“I need more.” I thrust forward, but he didn’t move or react. “Why aren’t you touching me?” I growled out.
He nodded once as if he had to try and talk himself into it or something, and then he was on me. His mouth and hands were everywhere until they were exactly where I wanted them to be. When West licked along the seam of my lips, I growled and nipped at him only to flick my tongue along his.
When the soft, warm skin of his hand wrapped around my cock, I was in heaven. No touch had ever felt so good. He knew exactly how to touch me.
Pulling me out of my shorts, West let out a moan. “Fuck, you’re big and beautiful.”
His words made me bold in the moment, giving in to what I wanted. “I want to see you.”
Letting go of me to rid himself of the sweatpants he’d changed into earlier, I instantly missed his touch, but not for long. I’d seen plenty of dicks in the locker room over the years, but none like West’s.
There were no words to describe him except huge.
His dark cock was long and thick, making me want to taste it.
“Fuck, the way you’re looking at me has me so turned on. Do you have lube in here?”
“In the nightstand on your side.” I lifted my chin in his direction and waited. As West pulled out my lube, I kicked off my shorts. My movements were a little slower due to the pain meds I’d taken earlier, but I didn’t care. I was feeling good from both the drugs and West touching me.
“Roll back on your side,” West demanded as he poured a small amount of lube in his hand. I did as he asked and started to use my good hand to stroke my cock. “Fuck, that’s hot. I’ve pictured this so many times, and now I can’t believe I’m finally touching you.”
West started stroking himself. His movements mirrored mine. If I went slowly, then so did he, and if I picked up my pace, West stroked harder. Pouring a little more of the lubricant into his palm, West moved closer. “Let me touch you again.”
The moment I removed my hand, West’s replaced mine with his own. After a few strokes, I was fully coated and jutting my hips to meet each movement of his fist.
Throwing his leg over mine, West took his shaft in his large hand and started to pump the both of us. The feel of his cock gliding next to mine had pre-cum starting to drip from my tip. God, I’d never felt anything as good in my life. His rough hand, firm and unrelenting grip, along with the twist of his palm when he got to our tips, had me shuddering and moaning out my pleasure.
His dark and my light met up and made the perfect union.
West groaned, causing my dick to twitch in his hold.
A sexy smirk crossed his face. “You like that.”
Fuck yeah, I did. To show him just how much, I fused my mouth to his and fucked his hand as he expertly drove me mad with want. My hand roamed the soft skin over steel on his chest and abs, greedy to feel every inch of him.
“I’m gonna,” I muttered against West’s mouth.
“That’s the point.” He chuckled, pumping and kissing me harder than before.
My head lolled to the side, but I couldn’t take my eyes off how West was touching me. Heat infiltrated my body from head to toe as I came in spurts all over both of us. With two more pulls, a deep moan rumbled from his chest before West’s body jerked, and he came all over his hand and on my stomach. I couldn’t take my eyes off his cum as it mixed with mine and slowly slid down onto the bed.
Holy hell, that was s
ingle-handedly the best experience of my life.
We laid there trying to catch our breath for long minutes before West got up and grabbed the towel draped over the back of my chair. As he walked back toward the bed, I took in his gorgeous body. We were close to the same height. West might have had an inch on me and twenty to thirty pounds, but our bodies were long and lean with muscle, yet that was where our similarities ended.
West cleaned himself up without shame and then came over to try and clean me up. Pulling the towel from his hands, I wiped our combined releases from my body. My mind was still light and carefree. I didn’t know if it was from the drugs or if it had everything to do with the man standing before me.
Sitting down on my side of the bed, he turned to me. “How much have you done before?”
“Done?” What the hell was he talking about? I was surprised West hadn’t crawled back up onto the bed and tried to cuddle with me. Not that I wanted to cuddle, but I thought he’d be the type.
“Yeah, done with another guy,” he explained.
“Are you in middle school?” I laughed. “You can ask what my sexual experiences have been.”
West’s face turned serious. “Okay, what kind of sexual experiences have you had with men?”
“Why are you asking me this? Do you normally ask this to every guy you hook up with?” No wonder he didn’t have a boyfriend or a fuckbuddy.
Tentatively, he placed a hand on my knee. “At first, you seemed a little unsure. That’s not the right word, maybe lost.” Tilting his head, his green eyes peered into mine. Fuck, had it been that obvious? I was lost, but more so in West than anything else. “Now answer my question,” he demanded softly.
I swallowed thickly, not wanting to answer his question. “Only what I’ve done with you.”
West didn’t react how I thought he would; instead, his entire face softened. Moving closer to me, he wrapped his arm around my waist with his thumb, rubbing slow circles along my skin.
“That’s the first time a guy has jerked you off?”
Moving away from his hold, I looked up out the window and out into the night. “Let’s not make a big deal out of it.”
“Hey, look at me, Fin.” When I refused, West grabbed my face and forced me to face him. His green eyes softened as he took me in. “Normally, I wouldn’t, but it’s kind of a big deal that you let me touch you like that. It shows a lot of trust and…”
“Don’t read too much into it, or I’m going to kick you out of my bed,” I growled.
The more he questioned me, the more my mind started to race, wondering what I’d let myself do. Now that I’d felt West’s touch, could I go back to the way things were?
“I’m not declaring my undying love for you. I only wanted to make sure you’re comfortable with where the night led. If I’d known—”
“You’d what?” I interrupted, gritting my teeth. “You would have treated me like a virgin princess.”
“I don’t know. If I had any idea tonight would have turned out like it did, I would have talked to you.”
Jumping off my bed, I glared down at him. “Oh, for fuck’s sake, West. I’m not some innocent little girl.”
Sitting up, West leaned forward, put his elbows on his knees, and looked up at me. “You kind of are. Do you want to continue doing what we did tonight?”
“Not if it’s going to end like this,” I threw out, my eyes hard.
West looked to the side for a moment, his jaw ticking. “Stop acting like a child.” His eyes shot back to me as he asked. “Is this you pushing me away in a new way?”
“Why are you ruining what was a…” I took a breath and tried to calm myself down. I needed to try and talk to West, even if I didn’t want to. “Look, you know this isn’t easy for me.”
His green eyes looked sad as he asked. “What isn’t easy?”
“The way my body reacts to you. I hate myself for feeling this way toward you. Do you know how much easier my life would be if I felt this pull toward any girl instead of you?”
Fuck, I’d given too much away. I might as well have told him everything with those few but meaningful words that fell from my lips.
“Do I think your life would be easier if you were a heterosexual man? Yes, but it doesn’t have to be difficult being gay. If there was ever a time to be gay and accepted, it would be now.”
I hung my head and admitted. “I don’t want to be gay.”
“Well, that’s too bad. You have about as much of a choice in it as I do with being half black. You have no idea what it’s like to not be accepted by the people of your race because of the color of your skin. Neither side wants to lay claim to me.” He swallowed harshly but held his head high.
No, I didn’t, and I never would. I hated myself a little more in that moment. If West let it, the world could bring him down, but he was proud of who he was, and here I was a privileged white boy who couldn’t accept the way he felt about the beautiful person who sat beside him.
“But what are we going to do about it? We can’t help what life has dealt us, but we can choose how we let it affect the rest of our lives.” West squeezed his eyes closed tight as his lips tipped down. I hated to see him like that, but I didn’t know what to do at that moment. I was too conflicted. “You need to figure out what you want and what you can live with.” West stood up and moved until there were only a few inches between us. Was it crazy that I wanted to pull him to me and for him to make everything better? “Do you want to be unhappy for the rest of your life because you’re hiding a huge part of yourself?”
I could only shake my head. There was no way I could voice my answer. I’d been silent for too long.
“Maybe you should talk to Coach Kyle about how you’re conflicted,” he suggested.
Jerking my head up, I wrinkled my brow in confusion. “While Coach is okay and all, I don’t think he’d appreciate me coming and telling him about how…” I was afraid to show who I really was to the world. I couldn’t even say it out loud, let alone to Coach or anyone else.
“You’d be surprised,” he said gently.
“Did you out me?” I asked, steam about ready to spill from my nostrils and ears.
“I’d never do that, and you know it. Trust me when I say to talk to him. If you want, I can set it up. I’ll even give him a little bit of info if it makes it easier for you to speak to him.”
What the hell was going on? This whole night kept turning in circles like a merry-go-round, and I had no idea where it was going to stop.
Leaning forward slowly and giving me plenty of time to push him away, West gripped my biceps as his lips brushed over my cheek. “Trust me.”
That was the problem. I couldn’t trust anyone, not even myself.
20
Fin
Why the hell did I let West talk me into talking to Coach before the game? Coach had said he’d be in his office bright and early, so as long as I arrived before the team had to prepare for the game, he had plenty of time to speak to me.
Had Coach Kyle taken some course on talking to troubled students or something, because I didn’t see how he was going to help me.
“Fin, I’m glad you came,” Coach motioned to the couch that lined one wall of his office. “Before we get into the heavy stuff.” He chuckled humorlessly. “Why don’t you tell me about your doctor’s appointment yesterday.”
I hung my head. Talking about my appointment wasn’t much easier to talk about. “It’s not good news. The tear is severe, and I’m out for the rest of the season, although the doctor did think if I rest it for a full six weeks and then slowly start to train again, I should be able to play next year.” That was if the team still needed or wanted me by then.
Moving to sit down beside me on the couch, Coach turned toward me and gave me a combination between a sad smile and a grimace. “I did some research after you were hurt, and I figured that would be the case. I hope you plan to listen to your doctor’s directions because we’ll need you next year. Don’t lose sight
of that, do you hear me?”
“Yes, Coach,” I nodded. A little tinge of hope bloomed inside of me that I wasn’t finished. Without being able to play, my father had said I was worthless and a huge disappointment. Not that I didn’t already know it, but even after all these years, it still hurt to hear.
Now it was time to see if I’d be homeless for the remaining part of the school year. “Am I going to have to move out of the house?”
“That is a good question since it’s for the starting team,” Coach nodded. “I don’t want to displace you, but I also know Conley might feel cheated if he’s not allowed to live in the house. Let me talk to him and see how he feels about it. If he wants to live there, maybe we can pair you up with someone.” He had a knowing look in his eye that made my hands start to sweat. If he thought I was going to live with West, he was delusional. We’d hooked up all of once.
Coach chewed on the inside of his cheek for a moment before he gave me an uncomfortable smile. I knew this was a bad idea. “West told me a little about your situation, but first, I want to tell you about me.”
Okay.
“A long time ago,” he laughed. “That makes me feel old, but trust me when I say if you’re not living the life you want, ten years can feel like a hundred.”
What the hell was he talking about?
Coach’s shoulders eased, and he let out a small laugh. “I can tell you’re confused, so that means West didn’t tell you about me.”
No, why would he? Were they besties now?
“After the incident, ugh, I hate that word for what happened to West, but after what happened with Alpha Mu, I had West come over for dinner to talk. I wanted to let him know that I would not let what they’d done to him go unpunished.”
“We got video of them last night admitting to it,” I blurted out. I wasn’t sure how they were so stupid, but I didn’t care. They were going down.
“Good, when we’re done here, you can send it to me, and I’ll make sure it gets in all the right hands. Willow Bay University and I will not let the actions of homophobic bigots go unpunished.”