Complete Works of Harriet Beecher Stowe

by Harriet Beecher Stowe

  A great hinderance was the business talent of this good little man to the enjoyments of us youngsters, who, perched along in a row on a low seat in front of the pulpit, attempted occasionally to diversify the long hour of sermon by sundry small exercises of our own, such as making our handkerchiefs into rabbits, or exhibiting, in a sly way, the apples and gingerbread we had brought for a Sunday dinner, or pulling the ears of some discreet meeting-going dog, who now and then would soberly pitapat through the broad aisle. But woe be to us during our contraband sports, if we saw Deacon Abrams’s sleek head dodging up from behind the top of the deacon’s seat. Instantly all the apples, gingerbread, and handkerchiefs vanished, and we all sat with our hands folded, looking as demure as if we understood every word of the sermon, and more too.

  There was a great contrast between these two deacons in their services and prayers, when, as was often the case, the absence of the pastor devolved on them the burden of conducting the duties of the sanctuary. That God was great and good, and that we all were sinners, were truths that seemed to have melted into the heart of Deacon Enos, so that his very soul and spirit were bowed down with them. With Deacon Abrams it was an undisputed fact, which he had settled long ago, and concerning which he felt that there could be no reasonable doubt, and his bustling way of dealing with the matter seemed to say that he knew that and a great many things besides.

  Deacon Enos was known far and near as a very proverb for peacefulness of demeanor and unbounded charitableness in covering and excusing the faults of others. As long as there was any doubt in a case of alleged evil doing, Deacon Enos guessed “the man did not mean any harm, after all;” and when transgression became too barefaced for this excuse, he always guessed “it wa’n’t best to say much about it; nobody could tell what they might be left to.”

  Some incidents in his life will show more clearly these traits. A certain shrewd landholder, by the name of Jones, who was not well reported of in the matter of honesty, sold to Deacon Enos a valuable lot of land, and received the money for it; but, under various pretences, deferred giving the deed. Soon after, he died; and, to the deacon’s amazement, the deed was nowhere to be found, while this very lot of land was left by will to one of his daughters.

  The deacon said “it was very extraor’nary: he always knew that Seth Jones was considerably sharp about money, but he did not think he would do such a right up-and-down wicked thing.” So the old man repaired to ‘Squire Abel to state the case, and see if there was any redress. “I kinder hate to tell of it,” said he; “but, ‘Squire Abel, you know Mr. Jones was — was — what he was, even if he is dead and gone!” This was the nearest approach the old gentleman could make to specifying a heavy charge against the dead. On being told that the case admitted of no redress, Deacon Enos comforted himself with half soliloquizing, “Well, at any rate, the land has gone to those two girls, poor lone critters — I hope it will do them some good. There is Silence — we won’t say much about her; but Sukey is a nice, pretty girl.” And so the old man departed, leaving it as his opinion that, since the matter could not be mended, it was just as well not to say any thing about it.

  Now, the two girls here mentioned (to wit, Silence and Sukey) were the eldest and the youngest of a numerous, family, the offspring of three wives of Seth Jones, of whom these two were the sole survivors. The elder, Silence, was a tall, strong, black-eyed, hard-featured woman, verging upon forty, with a good, loud, resolute voice, and what the Irishman would call “a dacent notion of using it.” Why she was called Silence was a standing problem to the neighborhood; for she had more faculty and inclination for making a noise than any person in the whole township. Miss Silence was one of those persons who have no disposition to yield any of their own rights. She marched up to all controverted matters, faced down all opposition, held her way lustily and with good courage, making men, women, and children turn out for her, as they would for a mail stage. So evident was her innate determination to be free and independent, that, though she was the daughter of a rich man, and well portioned, only one swain was ever heard of who ventured to solicit her hand in marriage; and he was sent off with the assurance that, if he ever showed his face about the house again, she would set the dogs on him.

  But Susan Jones was as different from her sister as the little graceful convolvulus from the great rough stick that supports it. At the time of which we speak she was just eighteen; a modest, slender, blushing girl, as timid and shrinking as her sister was bold and hardy. Indeed, the education of poor Susan had cost Miss Silence much painstaking and trouble, and, after all, she said “the girl would make a fool of herself; she never could teach her to be up and down with people, as she was.”

  When the report came to Miss Silence’s ears that Deacon Enos considered himself as aggrieved by her father’s will, she held forth upon the subject with great strength of courage and of lungs. “Deacon Enos might be in better business than in trying to cheat orphans out of their rights — she hoped he would go to law about it, and see what good he would get by it — a pretty church member and deacon, to be sure! getting up such a story about her poor father, dead and gone!”

  “But, Silence,” said Susan, “Deacon Enos is a good man: I do not think he means to injure any one; there must be some mistake about it.”

  “Susan, you are a little fool, as I have always told you,” replied Silence; “you would be cheated out of your eye teeth if you had not me to take care of you.”

  But subsequent events brought the affairs of these two damsels in closer connection with those of Deacon Enos, as we shall proceed to show.

  It happened that the next door neighbor of Deacon Enos was a certain old farmer, whose crabbedness of demeanor had procured for him the name of Uncle Jaw. This agreeable surname accorded very well with the general characteristics both of the person and manner of its possessor. He was tall and hard-favored, with an expression of countenance much resembling a north-east rain storm — a drizzling, settled sulkiness, that seemed to defy all prospect of clearing off, and to take comfort in its own disagreeableness. His voice seemed to have taken lessons of his face, in such admirable keeping was its sawing, deliberate growl with the pleasing physiognomy before indicated. By nature he was endowed with one of those active, acute, hair-splitting minds, which can raise forty questions for dispute on any point of the compass; and had he been an educated man, he might have proved as clever a metaphysician as ever threw dust in the eyes of succeeding generations. But being deprived of these advantages, he nevertheless exerted himself to quite as useful a purpose in puzzling and mystifying whomsoever came in his way. But his activity particularly exercised itself in the line of the law, as it was his meat, and drink, and daily meditation, either to find something to go to law about, or to go law about something he had found. There was always some question about an old rail fence that used to run “a leetle more to the left hand,” or that was built up “a leetle more to the right hand,” and so cut off a strip of his “medder land,” or else there was some outrage of Peter Somebody’s turkeys getting into his mowing, or Squire Moses’s geese were to be shut up in the town pound, or something equally important kept him busy from year’s end to year’s end. Now, as a matter of private amusement, this might have answered very well; but then Uncle Jaw was not satisfied to fight his own battles, but must needs go from house to house, narrating the whole length and breadth of the case, with all the says he’s and says I’s, and the I tell’d him’s and he tell’d me’s, which do either accompany or flow therefrom. Moreover, he had such a marvellous facility of finding out matters to quarrel about, and of letting every one else know where they, too, could muster a quarrel, that he generally succeeded in keeping the whole neighborhood by the ears.

  And as good Deacon Enos assumed the office of peace-maker for the village, Uncle Jaw’s efficiency rendered it no sinecure. The deacon always followed the steps of Uncle Jaw, smoothing, hushing up, and putting matters aright with an assiduity that was truly wonderful.

 
Uncle Jaw himself had a great respect for the good man, and, in common with all the neighborhood, sought unto him for counsel, though, like other seekers of advice, he appropriated only so much as seemed good in his own eyes.

  Still he took a kind of pleasure in dropping in of an evening to Deacon Enos’s fire, to recount the various matters which he had taken or was to take in hand; at one time to narrate “how he had been over the milldam, telling old Granny Clark that she could get the law of Seth Scran about that pasture lot,” or else “how he had told Ziah Bacon’s widow that she had a right to shut up Bill Scranton’s pig every time she caught him in front of her house.”

  But the grand “matter of matters,” and the one that took up the most of Uncle Jaw’s spare time, lay in a dispute between him and ‘Squire Jones, the father of Susan and Silence; for it so happened that his lands and those of Uncle Jaw were contiguous. Now, the matter of dispute was on this wise: On ‘Squire Jones’s land there was a mill, which mill Uncle Jaw averred was “always a-flooding his medder land.” As Uncle Jaw’s “medder land” was by nature half bog and bulrushes, and therefore liable to be found in a wet condition, there was always a happy obscurity as to where the water came from, and whether there was at any time more there than belonged to his share. So, when all other subject matters of dispute failed, Uncle Jaw recreated himself with getting up a lawsuit about his “medder land;” and one of these cases was in pendency when, by the death of the squire, the estate was left to Susan and Silence, his daughters. When, therefore, the report reached him that Deacon Enos had been cheated out of his dues, Uncle Jaw prepared forthwith to go and compare notes. Therefore, one evening, as Deacon Enos was sitting quietly by the fire, musing and reading with his big Bible open before him, he heard the premonitory symptoms of a visitation from Uncle Jaw on his door scraper; and soon the man made his appearance. After seating himself directly in front of the fire, with his elbows on his knees, and his hands spread out over the coals, he looked up in Deacon Enos’s mild face with his little inquisitive gray eyes, and remarked, by way of opening the subject, “Well, deacon, old ‘Squire Jones is gone at last. I wonder how much good all his land will do him now?”

  “Yes,” replied Deacon Enos, “it just shows how all these things are not worth striving after. We brought nothing into the world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out.”

  “Why, yes,” replied Uncle Jaw, “that’s all very right, deacon; but it was strange how that old ‘Squire Jones did hang on to things. Now, that mill of his, that was always soaking off water into these medders of mine — I took and tell’d ‘Squire Jones just how it was, pretty nigh twenty times, and yet he would keep it just so; and now he’s dead and gone, there is that old gal Silence is full as bad, and makes more noise; and she and Suke have got the land; but, you see, I mean to work it yet.”

  Here Uncle Jaw paused to see whether he had produced any sympathetic excitement in Deacon Enos; but the old man sat without the least emotion, quietly contemplating the top of the long kitchen shovel. Uncle Jaw fidgeted in his chair, and changed his mode of attack for one more direct. “I heard ’em tell, Deacon Enos, that the squire served you something of an unhandy sort of trick about that ‘ere lot of land.”

  Still Deacon Enos made no reply; but Uncle Jaw’s perseverance was not so to be put off, and he recommenced. “‘Squire Abel, you see, he tell’d me how the matter was, and he said he did not see as it could be mended; but I took and tell’d him, ‘‘Squire Abel,’ says I, ‘I’d bet pretty nigh ‘most any thing, if Deacon Enos would tell the matter to me, that I could find a hole for him to creep out at; for,’ says I, ‘I’ve seen daylight through more twistical cases than that afore now.’”

  Still Deacon Enos remained mute; and Uncle Jaw, after waiting a while, recommenced with, “But, railly, deacon, I should like to hear the particulars.”

  “I have made up my mind not to say any thing more about that business,” said Deacon Enos, in a tone which, though mild, was so exceedingly definite, that Uncle Jaw felt that the case was hopeless in that quarter; he therefore betook himself to the statement of his own grievances.

  “Why, you see, deacon,” he began, at the same time taking the tongs, and picking up all the little brands, and disposing them in the middle of the fire,—”you see, two days arter the funeral, (for I didn’t railly like to go any sooner,) I stepped up to hash over the matter with old Silence; for as to Sukey, she ha’n’t no more to do with such things than our white kitten. Now, you see, ‘Squire Jones, just afore he died, he took away an old rail fence of his’n that lay between his land and mine, and began to build a new stone wall; and when I come to measure, I found he had took and put a’most the whole width of the stone wall on to my land, when there ought not to have been more than half of it come there. Now, you see, I could not say a word to ‘Squire Jones, because, jest before I found it out, he took and died; and so I thought I’d speak to old Silence, and see if she meant to do any thing about it, ‘cause I knew pretty well she wouldn’t; and I tell you, if she didn’t put it on to me! We had a regular pitched battle — the old gal, I thought she would ‘a screamed herself to death! I don’t know but she would, but just then poor Sukey came in, and looked so frightened and scarey — Sukey is a pretty gal, and looks so trembling and delicate, that it’s kinder a shame to plague her, and so I took and come away for that time.”

  Here Uncle Jaw perceived a brightening in the face of the good deacon, and felt exceedingly comforted that at last he was about to interest him in his story.

  But all this while the deacon had been in a profound meditation concerning the ways and means of putting a stop to a quarrel that had been his torment from time immemorial, and just at this moment a plan had struck his mind which our story will proceed to unfold.

  The mode of settling differences which had occurred to the good man was one which has been considered a specific in reconciling contending sovereigns and states from early antiquity, and the deacon hoped it might have a pacifying influence even in so unpromising a case as that of Miss Silence and Uncle Jaw.

  In former days, Deacon Enos had kept the district school for several successive winters, and among his scholars was the gentle Susan Jones, then a plump, rosy little girl, with blue eyes, curly hair, and the sweetest disposition in the world. There was also little Joseph Adams, the only son of Uncle Jaw, a fine, healthy, robust boy, who used to spell the longest words, make the best snowballs and poplar whistles, and read the loudest and fastest in the Columbian Orator of any boy at school.

  Little Joe inherited all his father’s sharpness, with a double share of good humor; so that, though he was forever effervescing in the way of one funny trick or another, he was a universal favorite, not only with the deacon, but with the whole school.

  Master Joseph always took little Susan Jones under his especial protection, drew her to school on his sled, helped her out with all the long sums in her arithmetic, saw to it that nobody pillaged her dinner basket, or knocked down her bonnet, and resolutely whipped or snowballed any other boy who attempted the same gallantries. Years passed on, and Uncle Jaw had sent his son to college. He sent him because, as he said, he had “a right to send him; just as good a right as ‘Squire Abel or Deacon Abrams to send their boys, and so he would send him.” It was the remembrance of his old favorite Joseph, and his little pet Susan, that came across the mind of Deacon Enos, and which seemed to open a gleam of light in regard to the future. So, when Uncle Jaw had finished his prelection, the deacon, after some meditation, came out with, “Railly, they say that your son is going to have the valedictory in college.”

  Though somewhat startled at the abrupt transition, Uncle Jaw found the suggestion too flattering to his pride to be dropped; so, with a countenance grimly expressive of his satisfaction, he replied, “Why, yes — yes — I don’t see no reason why a poor man’s son ha’n’t as much right as any one to be at the top, if he can get there.”

  “Just so,” replied Deacon Enos.

 
“He was always the boy for larning, and for nothing else,” continued Uncle Jaw; “put him to farming, couldn’t make nothing of him. If I set him to hoeing corn or hilling potatoes, I’d always find him stopping to chase hop-toads, or off after chip-squirrels. But set him down to a book, and there he was! That boy larnt reading the quickest of any boy that ever I saw: it wasn’t a month after he began his a b, abs, before he could read in the ‘Fox and the Brambles,’ and in a month more he could clatter off his chapter in the Testament as fast as any of them; and you see, in college, it’s jest so — he has ris right up to be first.”

  “And he is coming home week after next,” said the deacon, meditatively.

  The next morning, as Deacon Enos was eating his breakfast, he quietly remarked to his wife, “Sally, I believe it was week after next you were meaning to have your quilting?”

  “Why, I never told you so: what alive makes you think that, Deacon Dudley?”

  “I thought that was your calculation,” said the good man, quietly.

  “Why, no; to be sure, I can have it, and may be it’s the best of any time, if we can get Black Dinah to come and help about the cakes and pies. I guess we will, finally.”

  “I think it’s likely you had better,” replied the deacon, “and we will have all the young folks here.”

  And now let us pass over all the intermediate pounding, and grinding, and chopping, which for the next week foretold approaching festivity in the kitchen of the deacon. Let us forbear to provoke the appetite of a hungry reader by setting in order before him the minced pies, the cranberry tarts, the pumpkin pies, the doughnuts, the cookies, and other sweet cakes of every description, that sprang into being at the magic touch of Black Dinah, the village priestess on all these solemnities. Suffice it to say that the day had arrived, and the auspicious quilt was spread.