Deadly Potential

by Jennifer Carole Lewis

  “Talk to me, Katie,” Ben urged.

  “Why did you hit him?” There were hundreds of other questions buzzing in her brain, but that one came out first.

  “I couldn’t let him insult you—”

  “It’s not my first slut-shaming. Though it’s a first from an official government representative.” She stood up, pulling free of his embrace. “He could throw you in jail for assault.”

  “I told you. Nothing matters except protecting you.” Ben’s stormy gaze threatened to sweep her away.

  “Except you can’t protect me if you’re behind bars. I didn’t need you to defend my honor.” She turned away, her emotions forming a swirling maelstrom within. Part of her thrilled at the alpha male protectiveness. Part of her was appalled by it. She was emotionally and physically exhausted by the last few days. “I have to get out of here.”

  “No.” Ben’s declaration thudded into place with the same calming influence of a boulder dropped into a lake.

  “I’m not asking permission.” Each word sliced into the connection between them, but Katie refused to compromise herself because of one night of great sex. “Aggi, are we still booked at Lioness?”

  “Yes. I reserved the whole day.”

  “Then I’m going.” She held up her hand to forestall any argument. White knights were all well and good, but his restless anger chafed at her. “If you can’t trust me when I tell you what I need, this thing between us isn’t going to last.”

  “Wait.” Ben reached for her, and dropped his hand before touching her. “I’m sorry. But I’m not letting you go anywhere by yourself.”

  “Letting?” Katie’s voice dropped an octave as she repeated the word.

  “Okay, we’re all on edge here,” Ray interjected. “Time for compromise. Partner, I get where you’re coming from, but try to stay above the medieval male social model. Katie, this is all incredibly difficult. If you want to escape, we’ll help, but we do have to escort you. Ben will go with you to the studio, and he’ll stay out of the booth after scanning it with a camera to make sure you’re alone. I’ll work on cleaning up this mess with Orlund, and see if the hotel will demand something ludicrous to cover the holes we keep putting in their walls. Aggi, keep being awesome. Do we have a deal?”

  They reluctantly agreed. As Katie watched Ray leave, she wished he was going instead of Ben. It would be so much less complicated. The emotions between her and Ben added an extra level of volatility to an explosive situation. But the idea of walking out the door without her lover brought a minute stab of pain, like tiny claws piercing her heart. My fear and libido are shouting over my instincts. I don’t know what I want any more, except a chance to restore my inner balance.

  Ben hovered silently through the trip to the studio, on hand if she faltered or trembled, but otherwise giving her the space she craved. The hired bodyguards were on site when they arrived. Ben directed them to monitor the entrance. The recording booths on the second level could only be accessed by a narrow staircase.

  As Aggi directed the instrument delivery, the skinny young man at reception approached her.

  “Looks like a rough day,” he murmured.

  There was no way to reveal how badly he’d understated the situation without bursting into tears.

  “If you need anything, let me know. Maybe something to smooth things over?”

  A.k.a. buy some drugs. Katie counted to ten twice. It wasn’t the first time she’d been asked, but her tolerance stretched too thinly to guarantee a civil reply. Aggi hustled over, ensuring the recording booth was set up to allow one person to run everything by themselves. The man slunk away, his offer dropped. Once everything was arranged to Katie’s preferences, Aggi paid the staff generous bonuses to take off for a few hours.

  They locked the front door behind the departing employees. The bodyguards were stationed inside with strict instructions not to open the door for any reason. Ben scanned the entire facility with a camera, clearing and sealing each room. The extra steps chafed on Katie’s raw nerves. She wanted to get into the studio, and lose herself in the music.

  “All clear,” Ben reported.

  “We’ll be right out here if you need us,” Aggi promised.

  Ben’s intense eyes held hers, but he didn’t object as she closed the door, locking herself in. Relief blossomed, chasing away the tension. Inside these four walls, there was no one to answer to, no one who wanted anything from her, or who expected anything from her. She could be free, if only for a few hours.

  She fingered the leather coat she still wore. I should give it back to him. There was a song lurking in the story he’d told her. How angry words lingered after a death, and the desire to make them right. But it’s his story, and I don’t have the right to tell it. He’d shared something extremely personal to help her. She would respect that.

  She unlatched her guitar case, and stopped. Her attacker had touched what should have been private. I’ll start with the keyboard. Automatically, she flipped the switch to begin recording. Then she closed her eyes, and laid her fingers on the smooth plastic keys. Notes poured out of her, a random jumble slowly transforming into melody.

  Soft and gentle, with minor chords to pierce deep into the heart. A song for anyone forced to choose between themselves, and someone they cared for. In her mind, she could already hear the other parts. A flute, echoing. It would add an ethereal edge to the melody. A violin during the chorus, sobbing each poignant note. Steady drums throbbing a muted bass heartbeat. The lyrics swept over her too quickly to write, and she sang them into the microphone.

  They called me fierce, they called me strong.

  I fought them all to right my wrong.

  I needed no one and nothing to fight,

  I was Amazon-tall, a warrior bright.

  My armor intact, and my heart safe within,

  I fought them all, and always could win.

  Except she hadn’t remained strong like an Amazon. She’d let Ben into her heart, and he’d crawled too deep to easily put him aside.

  You came to help me, said you’d keep me whole.

  Fought by my side, and crept into my soul.

  I slept safe in your shadow, in your arms in the dark.

  But I woke up trapped, without even a spark.

  If she let him, Ben would wrap her up to prevent anything from hurting her again. She couldn’t live in a bubble. She couldn’t be the damsel waiting to be rescued, always a burden. She might have broken down, but she could still fight for herself.

  The song crafted itself as she laid down the individual tracks. With the piano set, she used a flute to capture the haunting descant. It created the wail of tears that she couldn’t yet shed. The violin sang the uncanny Celtic sound she’d imagined.

  Maybe we’re too explosive to be anything except a memory for each other, no matter how much I want it to be more. She let the pain wash over her, moving into her fingers and the music. No matter how much she tried, she couldn’t find her old balance, the independence that had seen her through her previous affairs. This is what happens when emotions get too deep. The chemistry between her and Ben overwhelmed everything, and left them with nothing underneath to catch them when it all came crashing down.

  I’ve faced my foes, and I wear new scars

  I’ve blamed myself, our fate, and the stars

  I tell myself that I’m doing all right

  But when I’m alone, looking out at the night

  I remember your arms, your hands, and your heart

  And I wish we’d gotten it right at the start.

  If only we’d gotten it right at the start.

  Katie closed her eyes, and listened to the mix. Even with this rough cut, it captured the combination of heartbreak and determination in her soul. It would make people remember their own lost loves, an
d bring tears to the most cynical eyes. It could be a monster hit if she was ever willing to release it.

  It would have to be long after Ben and I broke up, so I wouldn’t hurt his feelings. The song held her deepest fears. Getting them out of her head helped her heart to feel less raw, which paradoxically gave her more strength to keep trying. I don’t know where we’re going, but now I’ve faced the worst outcome. One where I’m heartbroken and he’s gone. She refused to acknowledge the other worst possibility.

  She added the mix to the other recordings in her personal drive. Some were gems waiting for the right person and time, others were missing a crucial element. Morbidly, she wondered what would happen to them if they didn’t stop the Director. He’s probably already pawed through them.

  “You’re not going to control me,” she said quietly. “I’m not a scared little puppet for you to play with.”

  There was no answer. No pop up on the computer or her phone. Silence pressed down, closing off any openings in her heart. She was alone, exactly the way she’d wanted. When she opened the door, she would manage whatever was between her and Ben. And if he goes, I’ll be fine with being alone again. Just like the song said.

  “I’ll be fine.” She repeated the words firmly, ignoring the tiny claws as they latched deeper into her heart with each refrain.

  Chapter 26

  Two letters in one day. He broke the pattern. Ben paced in the tiny lounge of the recording studio. A rasping scrape echoed loudly in the room. Aggi turned another page of her book. Ben glared at her, then shifted his angry gaze to the closed door. Katie had been locked inside the room for hours. I promised to give her space. He fought the urge to make sure she was all right.

  Aggi laid down her book, and leaned forward. “Are you being an ass because you’re under stress, or is the stress letting your natural ass-ness shine through?”

  “What?” Ben halted in his tracks.

  “I’m curious.” She stood up, and stretched her arms over her head. “When you arrived, you had a don’t-waste-my-time vibe going on. You were cute, though not Katie’s usual type. Then you stood up for her. I could see the protective alpha appeal, but you’re one step away from yelling at little kids to get off your lawn.”

  The best friend grilling didn’t surprise Ben. He recognized the warning. “My relationship with Katie is none of your business.”

  “Actually, since Katie runs my career, it’s very much my business. Not to mention how she’s been through enough crap without shoveling yours into the bargain.” Aggi folded her arms, and shifted her weight to one side. “I haven’t decided whether or not I like you, but I don’t like how you’ve treated my sister.”

  Ben didn’t the insinuation. “Last night was mutual—”

  “Not the sex, Grinchy McScowlsalot. This is about you trying to dictate what she can and can’t do.” She gave him one of those evaluating looks women used to gather a man’s entire history, clothing sizes, and childhood hang ups. “Your temper has been rough since you arrived, and if it’s because you’re trying to stop a serial killer from murdering my sister, I can live with that. But if you’re normally this big of a jerk, then it is my obligation to interfere before you hurt her.”

  “This is between me and Katie,” Ben repeated, bracing himself for impact.

  It didn’t come. Instead Aggi tilted her head to one side. “How many exes do you have?”

  “That’s—”

  “I’d guess three or less, including girls you dated in high school.” She ignored his attempt to answer. “One of those was a long-term relationship, more than five years. And it ended badly. Maybe she cheated, or maybe she broke up with you because you were more into the job than her. Either way, you got your heart broken, and you don’t talk about it. How am I doing?”

  Surprisingly accurate. He’d been with Emily for six years. She’d refused to move to Denver unless he promised things would be different between them. He’d let her walk away, and gone on to join Special Investigations.

  “You fall in love easily enough, but don’t trust anyone with your heart.” Aggi dropped her eyes, and took a deep breath. “Katie’s the same way. She keeps her relationships casual. They usually stay friends after having sex.”

  Ben considered himself an enlightened man. He hated guys who obsessed about their girlfriends’ past relationships. But a jealous voice in his head did not like thinking about other men enjoying the privilege of Katie’s enthusiastic sensuality. He shoved that voice into the back of a locked mental closet.

  “It’s uncanny. They’re friends, they have sex–which is usually pretty good–and then they go back to being friends. No hard feelings, no resentment. She exchanges Christmas cards with some of them.” Aggi narrowed her eyes. “You’ve been with her less than a day, and you’re deeper under her skin than any of the others. You don’t get to be the one asshole who breaks her heart.”

  I don’t want to break her heart either. His own was already dangerously cracked.

  “The last time she spent three hours locked in a studio was after her father died.”

  He hated the idea of Katie being in pain. She’d asked to be alone, and he’d given it to her, but every instinct screamed to go in and see her.

  Instead he stood his ground, and lifted his head. “What can I do?”

  “I don’t know. It depends on what you want.”

  “I want her to be safe. And I want her to be happy.” Everything else was negotiable.

  A slow smile curved Aggi’s lips. “Good answers.”

  Ben’s phone rang. “What’s going on, Ray?”

  “We’ve been fired.”

  Accustomed to his partner’s dramatics, Ben waited for the second part of the explanation.

  “More accurately, we’ve been kicked off this case for our lack of playing well with others, and for failing to use our words instead of our fists.”

  “I’m not leaving.” He’d deal with the consequences to his career and livelihood later.

  “Delacroix expected your decision. He’s ordered us to take personal time, effectively immediately.” Ray coughed lightly. “We’re no longer permitted to carry weapons. However, Lucy seems to have lost the order to recall our guns and badges.”

  His gun weighed heavily on his belt. “She shouldn’t risk herself.”

  “By which you mean, thank you,” Ray replied. “Right?”

  “Of course I’m grateful. I just—” He exhaled. He’d expected to be recalled, and forced to defy the order, ending his career. Instead, Delacroix’s order gave him and Ray tacit permission to continue their work.

  “You can also let Aggi know there’s no sign of the video, even though we’re well past her mother’s deadline. Lucy is keeping a very close watch, and thinks she can keep it from going viral.” Ray sounded satisfied as he passed on the message.

  “Maybe she reconsidered.” Aggi didn’t sound as if she believed it.

  “What about Orlund?” Ben asked his partner.

  “He could arrest us for interfering in his investigation if we catch his attention. His wrist have been slapped by the FBI. His ice is thin enough to keep him from charging after us again, unless we give him a really motivating reason.” Ray paused. “I’m downstairs, but the big men with guns don’t seem to want to let me in.”

  “One minute.” Ben went down. Once he certain that his partner was alone, he signaled to the bodyguards to open the door.

  “Thank goodness. For a moment, I’d worried it was something I’d said.” Ray adjusted his shirt cuffs, and smoothed his jacket. “How’s Katie doing?”

  “Still inside,” Ben answered as they climbed the stairs.

  “And you haven’t broken in? Congratulations, you must love her if you’re willing to listen to her instead of following your instincts.” Ray spread his arms wide as t
hey entered the lounge. “Aggi, darling, it’s been ages.”

  Aggi laughed, and gave him an exaggerated air kiss. “My style guru, I’ve been devastated without you.”

  Ray tucked her arm into his. “Has my partner been behaving himself?”

  “We’ve chatted, and cleared the air.” She glanced back at Ben. “Haven’t we?”

  “Poor Benedict. Years of being the strong, silent type only to end up discussing your feelings over and over again.”

  The booth door cracked open, and Katie stepped out. Her eyes met Ben’s, and his body went rock hard. He tensed, not sure if she would welcome his touch. If I needed a sign of how I felt, this is it. Not a twitch after three hours in close quarters with Aggi, a woman with a permanent spot on the Most Sexy lists. Half a second with Katie, and he was ready to drag her into to any reasonably private place.

  “Is this a break?” Aggi asked.

  “No.” Katie shoved her hands into the pockets of her jeans. “I got most of it out. I’m ready for civilized company again.”

  She wasn’t looking at him. Ben resisted the juvenile urge to do something to regain her attention.

  “What’s the next step in the . . . the plan?” Katie grip on her own arms dented her flesh.

  Her determination both worried, and comforted Ben. On the one hand, he could trust her to stand up for herself, even against him. On the other, those who stood tall often pushed themselves past the point where they should have asked for help.

  Like I should have asked for help before I worked myself into a position where I punched Orlund. Ben rubbed his hand over his scalp, recognizing the irony of his concerns.

  “We have to tread carefully,” Ray answered the original question. “We want the unsub unsettled but not panicking. His last letter shows that he’s feeling possessive and insecure.”

  His partner was circling around a secret, and Ben wasn’t the only one to pick it up.