Deadly Potential

by Jennifer Carole Lewis

  The live-in housekeeper prepared their bedrooms when Katie called her from the road. Aggi hadn’t set foot in hers, coming here as soon as they pulled up. It’s always been her favorite room in this house. Aggi called it her library, though there were no books. Long rows of racks held thousands of CDs, interspersed with framed concert programs and signed concert T-shirts from Aggi’s favorite performers and events. Hidden speakers could blast out her music or, if she felt considerate toward the neighbors, she could listen on wireless headphones.

  It was eerie, sitting in this room, and hearing only the ebb and flow of the tide, the rasp of Aggi’s slow breaths, and the distant creaks of Ben and Ray moving at the far end of the house.

  I should talk to him. Except she had no idea what to say. She hated hurting his feelings. He’d done nothing to deserve it. Their lives were simply incompatible. Both of them worked high-demand jobs that laughed in the face of nine-to-five hours. He took this job because of what happened to his brother. He cares about making sure people are protected. She would never ask him to give up his career. Even if he did, it would compromise his truest self, and would only lead to resentment. And I can’t give up what I do. She would go crazy if she couldn’t write songs, and she took pride in her ability to coordinate her sister’s tours and albums. What would happen to Aggi? Katie fiercely protected Aggi’s downtime, keeping her from becoming one of those overworked stars who collapsed from exhaustion, or turned to drugs.

  Mom was right. Love set up the worst no-win scenarios. It was impossible to satisfy two people with mutually exclusive needs. She cared about his well-being as much as her own, which meant she would hurt one of them. Katie stifled a yawn, and resisted the urge to check the clock. The number doesn’t matter. It’s just too damn late. She couldn’t tell how long she and Aggi had been sitting inside the library, but the dark windows weren’t showing any hint of dawn’s light.

  “I can’t do the L.A. concert tomorrow,” Aggi said quietly.

  “Don’t worry about it,” Katie replied. Canceling was a logistical nightmare, but the fans would hopefully understand. Another yawn threatened to escape.

  Aggi shifted in place. “It’s weird. I don’t feel like an orphan. I mean, shouldn’t I be wailing at the walls to express my abandonment?”

  “Do you want to wail at the walls?”

  Aggi shook her head, her hair tickling Katie’s shoulder and cheek.

  “Then we’ll scratch it off the list.”

  “I keep wondering if I’m in shock. Maybe it will hit me later,” Aggi murmured.

  “If it does, we’ll deal with it together.” Please let me keep that promise. She shoved away her guilt at not giving Ben a similar promise. It’s different.

  They were silent for a long time.

  Fresh tears streaked down Aggi’s face. “If something happens to you, I don’t know if I can keep going alone.”

  “If you don’t want to keep performing, you don’t have to.” Katie’s throat ached as she talked around the lump of unshed tears. “You can do whatever you want because you’re an amazing person, and I know you’ll find a way to express yourself.”

  “But I’ve never had to do it without you.” She sniffed.

  Katie held her sister’s gaze. “I’m an amazing person, too. But you’re stronger than anyone gave you credit for, including you. I’m not essential.”

  “Stop it! It sounds like you’re saying good-bye.” Aggi stood up, and angrily wiped at her eyes.

  “I’m not. I have every intention of fighting this son-of-a-bitch with everything I can.” I’m not giving up.

  “You’ll run away with your hunky protector, and I’ll still be on my own!”

  She’s upset. Katie repeated the reminder to herself twice before speaking. “I’m not abandoning you. I wouldn’t do that. We’re in this together. You know me better than to accuse me of leaving.”

  “Shit. You’re right. I know. I’m sorry.” Aggi threw herself back into the chair.

  Her fingers tightened on Katie’s arms as if to reassure herself that Katie wasn’t about to vanish into thin air.

  “It’s okay.” She meant it. They’d both been through a lot in the last few days, and neither of them was acting entirely like themselves. Their shared history stretched too extensively for a few angry words to erase it.

  After another long pause, Aggi spoke again. “If you did want to run off with Ben, you know I’d eventually be okay. I want you to be happy.”

  Katie hugged her harder. “I know you do.”

  “So do you? Want to run off with him?”

  “Yes. No. It’s complicated. All of the above.” Katie sighed. “I don’t think it’s an option anymore. The song hurt him. I can’t take that back. This relationship feels good now, but sooner or later, it will end. And today isn’t good enough for him.” Sudden anger broke past her fatigue-loosened mental filters. “Dammit, what guy isn’t okay with casual mind-blowing sex?”

  There was a flutter of eyelashes against her shoulder as Aggi blinked. Twice. “The sex is mind-blowing?”

  Katie failed to compose a decent response. “It’s pretty good.”

  “No, no, no. There is a whole lot of territory between mind-blowing and pretty good. Which is it?”

  “It’s amazing, okay? But it doesn’t change anything else.” She closed her eyes, leaning her head on top of the chair. “It just makes things harder. I wish he could be okay with taking things as they are.”

  Her sister sighed. “You realize there are women all over the world with a sudden urge to beat you senseless for complaining about a hot man with mind-blowing sex-skills, a good heart, and who wants a commitment?”

  “I know. I sound like the idiot who won the lottery, and bitches about traveling to claim her prize. But he’s not a prize or a giant prop for my life. He’s a good person who deserves to have it all, true love and a meaningful career. The thing is, I deserve that, too, and I don’t think we can have it together. If he wants me to make those promises now, I can’t.” I don’t even know if I’ll be alive next week. “If he can’t handle honesty about how I feel, then it can’t work, no matter how much we try.”

  “You don’t want to take a chance?”

  “I don’t know.” Katie sighed. “I do. I also don’t want us to end up hating and hurting each other.”

  “Love isn’t logic.” Aggi sat up. “It doesn’t always give us a choice. Look at Trevor. I loved him passionately, and I overlooked all kinds of signals. When he cheated on me, it hurt like getting stabbed in the gut.”

  “You’re not exactly disproving my point.”

  “My point is, you’re going to hurt just as badly if you don’t give it a chance. So why not gamble on the lottery paying off?”

  Katie wished she shared her sister’s optimism. “Singing those love songs is a bad influence on you. You’re an incurable romantic.”

  “Why would anyone want to be cured of romance?” Aggi grinned. Then yawned.

  “We should get some sleep.” Katie yawned in turn.

  The smile vanished from Aggi’s face, and the lost expression returned. “Can we stay here a little longer? Please?”

  Katie didn’t answer. She held her sister, and they both stared into the darkness, listening to the waves.

  ~ ~ ~

  Ben waited for Katie until the first light of dawn seeped through the windows. He’d searched the entire house, checked the alarm system with Mrs. Beauchamp, the housekeeper. Then he searched the entire place again, setting up primitive physical alarms. He’d waited outside her bedroom to apologize for getting upset about the song. Holding her responsible for her private thoughts wasn’t fair.

  Only she hadn’t come.

  He must have fallen asleep. His neck and legs were both stiff from a night propped up in the hall. I have
to get moving. I have to make sure she’s safe. Panicked compulsion drove him to his feet despite the tingling in his extremities. He was about to charge off to find Katie when his tired brain sent out a warning.

  If she is in danger, it won’t help if I run off half-cocked. Stretching out his arms and legs, he shook them to get rid of the pins-and-needles creeping under his skin. Only then did he pad barefoot through the quiet house. The kitchen and large open area downstairs were both empty. Beside the kitchen, no noises escaped from Mrs. Beauchamp’s room. The doors opening to the deck overlooking the ocean were still locked, and the empty soup tin of hard uncooked beans still balanced on the handle. He checked the similar arrangements on the front door before heading upstairs.

  At the top of the stairs, he found Katie and Aggi, curled up together in a leather recliner. The urgency faded as he watched Katie’s sleeping form. Her face was relaxed, her long dark eyelashes casting shadows on her cheeks, and her full lips slightly parted. She looked peaceful and content. I won’t take that from her. Let her find escape in her dreams.

  He’d spotted a shelf with knitted blankets in the upper hallway. Grabbing a pale blue one with heavy cabling, he brought it back to the two women. Carefully, he draped the blanket over them both to ward off the early morning chill, resisting the urge to stroke Katie’s soft skin.

  Despite his efforts, Katie blinked and shifted when the wool touched her bare arm.

  “It’s okay. Go back to sleep,” he coaxed.

  She shook her head, easing away from Aggi. He took her hand, helping her to balance unsteadily on the floor. As she rolled her shoulders and neck to loosen them, he picked up the blanket, and draped it around Aggi again.

  “Did you sleep?” Katie whispered.

  “A little. I waited for you.” He couldn’t hold himself back from touching her any longer. He reached for her, watching for any sign of discomfort or retreat.

  Leaning into his touch, she closed her eyes as his finger traced a caressing line. It started at her cheek, brushed across to her earlobe, then he ran his knuckle along her neck.

  She moaned quietly. “I meant to come to you—”

  “But you fell asleep. It’s okay,” he finished.

  “You need to know. I want us to work, but I’m scared. That’s what the song was about. It doesn’t mean I’m giving up. I’m sorry I hurt you.” She caught his hand between both of hers. Bringing it back to her face, she turned to press a kiss onto the base of his thumb. His breath caught as he dragged his thumb across her silky lips, wanting to kiss her. Except he wouldn’t be content with only a kiss. She opened her mouth, and briefly sucked the tip of his thumb between her lips, sending an electric jolt through his body that made coffee unnecessary.

  “I’m sorry I pushed you.” He pulled her closer, snugging her hips against his.

  Her hands crept up his chest, fingertips fluttering as she walked them up to his neck to cup his jaw, and tilted his head toward hers. Their lips met, igniting a fierce hunger. Before he quite knew what he’d done, he’d backed her against a wall.

  She opened her mouth under his, deepening the kiss. Growling, he slid his hands under her butt, lifting her. He ground his erection against her hot core, ignoring the layers of denim between them. She wrapped her legs around his waist, moaning softly against his mouth.

  He released her lips to bury his face in her neck. Her pulse beat against his lips as he found the sensitive gap under her jaw. She gasped, clinging to him.

  The click of a door downstairs broke the illusion of privacy. Ben broke off the kiss, panting as he listened to identify the source.

  “Mrs. Beauchamp, getting breakfast.” Katie caught his earlobe between her teeth.

  Ben struggled to regain control. He wanted to fuck her right here and right now, but she might not want to do the same with her sister sleeping less than ten feet away. Still, he couldn’t stop touching her with as much of his body as possible.

  “Missed you, too.” She chuckled, the deep, throaty sexy laugh he only heard when they were making love. “Best wake-up call I’ve had in a long time.”

  “Keep that up, and I’ll drag you back to bed,” he whispered.

  “Sounds like a good idea to me.” She rocked her pelvis against his. “Mrs. Beauchamp will save us some breakfast.”

  He hitched her up, swinging her legs around to catch them under the knee, balancing her easily in his arms. An open bedroom awaited at the end of the hall.

  The doorbell rang, and Mrs. Beauchamp’s footsteps hurried toward the front door.

  “Courier,” the young man announced brightly. “I have an envelope for Miss Katie Ballard.”

  Katie went stiff in his arms. Ben regretfully lowered her to the floor as they both stared at the oversized cream-colored envelope in the courier’s hand.

  Miss Katie Ballard,

  I hope you can see your destiny more clearly. Right From The Start is the most frequently downloaded song from the last two days. It does not represent your true skill level.

  This is what you must do for me. You will create a song to echo through the ages, one which tells people of the challenges I have overcome. I want them to weep for what they have failed to do. Then you can be celebrated in a fitting manner.

  There will be no more distractions. No more of your stepsister’s media whoring, no more indulgences with Investigator Morgan, and no more unnecessary public performances. You are free now. Leave your stepsister behind. Stop running away from who you truly are. Embrace what you can become with my guidance. I am offering to transform you into the princess you were born to be.

  I have been patient with you, but my patience is at an end. Do not disappoint me.

  I remain your faithful admirer and servant, Walter.

  Chapter 37

  “He thinks I owe him?” Katie cradled a fresh cup of coffee, letting the heat soothe her. She hadn’t drunk a drop yet, due to the cramps writhing in her belly.

  “Is it time for us to run yet?” Aggi asked bluntly, glaring at the two men. Her polished nails tapped a staccato beat on the kitchen countertops.

  “Run, and he’ll come after you. He’s a skilled hacker.” Ray repeated his warning for the third time that morning. “If he’s good enough, he could find you the instant you step in front of a networked camera.”

  Katie studied Ben from under her lowered lashes. He’d been quiet since the delivery, his back and shoulders rigid with tension. He seemed like an entirely different man from the one who’d woken her up with such tenderness.

  She put down the cup with a decisive clink. “What do we do now?”

  Ben lowered his tightened fist, and avoided eye contact.

  Ray ignored the testosterone display. “It’s not like the other Director letters. He’s unbalanced, and grasping at whatever he thinks will allow him to regain control.”

  “I don’t want anyone else to get hurt.” Katie couldn’t meet her sister’s gaze. It’s my fault your mother is dead.

  “In the usual pattern, the next step would be kidnapping you.” Ray picked up the discarded cup, and peered into it. “He’s sent the letter to let you know he can reach you. Most likely, he’s found a way to be nearby.”

  “Except he doesn’t only want to dress me up like his personal Barbie, he wants me to write a song.” Frustration abruptly shoved aside Katie’s fear. “Art can’t be forced.”

  “He kind of has forced it already.” Aggi’s tapping stopped. “With your song. You and I both know how hard creating an overnight success is. How did this guy manage to do it?”

  “What do you mean?” Ben asked in his gravelly voice.

  Her sister’s meaning dawned on Katie. “She’s right. The number of downloads and the amount of radio play are impossible.”

  “It’s a good song,” Ray began.

  B
en gritted his teeth. The last word he would use to describe the blasted song was good.

  Katie cut him off. “This isn’t impostor syndrome. I know it’s a decent song, although I would have done a lot differently if I’d been planning to release it commercially. But even if it was the best song in all of time and space, this should not be happening. I’ve done promotional work on so-called cultural phenomena. It takes tons of groundwork.”

  “It takes months to create an instant success. Which is impossible because the song didn’t exist three days ago,” Aggi said.

  “What would you have to do?” Ben asked.

  The weight of his piercing stare sent a frisson along Katie’s spine. “Start by giving select previews to key players in the industry. Twenty or thirty people influence what gets picked up and what doesn’t. To become a phenomenon, at least half of them need to be enthusiastic fans of an artist or song. Next, I’d pick a promotional route. I could associate the song with a movie or a television show, start a whisper campaign among independent stations and D.J.s, or stir up a controversy to generate media attention. Overnight successes usually take at least six months of preparation and, even then, the public doesn’t always respond. I’ve seen artists crash even with the weight of the industry behind them.”

  “It sounds like a conspiracy theory,” Ray muttered.

  “It’s not. Or at least not a conscious one.” Katie straightened. “It’s the way the market works. There’s only so much time on the radio, and most distributors are inherently conservative. They stick to songs which are familiar, or already seem popular. Audiences only hear what the distributors pick up, unless they happen to be rabid fans of a particular sound or artist. Those songs sell, the others don’t, and the cycle perpetuates itself. So how did this guy manage to short cut the system?”