Dirty Sweet Cowboy

by Bentley, Jess

“I’m glad you enjoyed it. I really think everybody had a good time .”

  I pick up trash for a while, finally setting the bag down in the hallway by the kitchen. Perry will be by in the morning anyway. It’s not that I have to do this, it’s just that I like taking care of it .

  “So… did you decide about your present ?”

  She rolls her eyes. Her hands float out from her body as she turns in a slow circle in the dining room .

  “My present? That’s kind of an understatement, isn’t it?” she says, a charming laugh peppering her voice. “This is a house, Ethan. This a frickin’ house . ”

  “So you’ll take it then ?”

  She pauses for a moment, knuckling her chin thoughtfully. Her blue eyes sparkle in the light from the chandelier .

  “Well… it depends .”

  “Anything. Just tell me what you need, Ava .”

  “You should stay. Here. With us .”

  My heart skips a beat .

  “Are you sure ?”

  She nods tightly, her eyes bright and sparkling. She holds her hands out to me and I take her fingers in mine, relishing the feeling of relief that floods me. I don’t think she’ll ever know how much her touch means to me .

  “Ava, I know we’ve been through so much …”

  “There’s a lot more to come,” she quips .

  I lean closer, letting her belly brush against my hip. I love it that she occupies just a little bit more real estate now. Probably wouldn’t be a good idea to bring it up, but I do love it .

  “I just want you to consider one more thing …”

  And somehow, I find the courage to drop to one knee, yet again. My heart is beating so hard I feel like it’s outside my chest. And it almost is. She could destroy me with a word. I think she knows .

  “Ava, I’m nothing without you. I know that now. And I never even have been. It’s always been you, Ava. So I need to ask you… just one more time .…”

  I pull the ring out of my pocket, where I have felt it all day, pressed against the flesh of my thigh. I hold it up to her, watching the reflections dance like little fires along the bottom of her cheeks .

  “Ava Harrison, please, will you marry me ?”

  She grins. Her smile is as bright as the sun. She bounces up and down on her toes, clapping her fingers together happily .

  “Get up here, Ethan! You know I can’t get down there by you anymore !”

  I stand up immediately, happy to hold her in my arms, happy to kiss her beautiful face. She’s laughing and crying all at the same time, leaning against me, kissing me with all her heart and soul .

  “That’s it!” she sighs. “That was what I wanted. That’s what I wanted to know… that you really love me. That it’s real. It’s all I ever wanted, Ethan .”

  “I’m sorry it took me so long to figure it out. Men are stupid,” I mutter .

  “I think you’re a genius,” she protests .

  She lets me slip the ring on her finger and we both stare at it for a little while, marveling at the tiny fires inside of it. It is of course a pretty substantial diamond. But then, she’s a substantial beauty. She deserves nothing less .

  “Wait!” she says suddenly. She pulls away, darting from the room. In a few moments she returns, with an envelope in her fingers and a mischievous smile on her lips .

  “What’s that ?”

  She waves the envelope. “I got this from the doctor. Would you like to know if we’re having boys or girls ?”

  “Hell, yeah! Do you know? Who else knows ?”

  She shrugs. “I wouldn’t let the doctor tell me,” she explains. “It didn’t seem right… Not even Bea knows. Only you and I… we’re going to be the only ones. You ready ?”

  I nod happily, unable to think of the right words to say. Are there any right words? No. Just whatever is on that piece of paper, are the only right words .

  With trembling fingers, she opens the envelope, pulling out the folded card, opening it slowly. We read the words together, confused for a second, then realizing how perfect it is .

  A boy and a girl. One of each .

  Chapter 44

  AVA

  A s an incredibly handsome person once told me, you would be amazed what a stupid amount of money can accomplish .

  Somehow, we made this all happen .

  Bea found us a Justice of the Peace who would come to the house on short notice. My mother called every relative I’ve ever had and invited them, and Ethan made sure they could all fly here on his jet. Aden arranged the catering, of course, as well as finishing up the last few rooms so we could host out-of-town guests .

  The house is beautiful, sparkling in blue and silver and warmed with rich wood, filled to the brim with love and excitement .

  Bea rushes into the room, dragging the bustle of her silver bridesmaid dress behind her. She shakes her bouquet at me .

  “Hurry your ass up!” she demands. “You are going to be in labor before the ceremony is over. Come on !”

  “Oh, I can take another minute,” I smile .

  I stare into the mirror, trying to commit everything to memory. My mother gave me her veil, and it flows over my hair, pale as an angel’s wing. Ethan’s mother loaned me a diamond choker that’s literally too blinding to stare at directly. And for something blue, Bea made me a garter by hand, stitching it with pearls and crystals and a satin, sky-blue ribbon .

  The dress is amazing. Ethan brought Vera Wang to the house, the real Vera Wang. The actual human being. He gave her two rooms and three assistants, and they worked day and night for four days to make this dress .

  This gorgeous, gorgeous dress .

  I don’t want to say I look amazing, but I look amazing. Ivory silk swaddles me, somehow making me look slender and stately while not hiding the fact that I am ever so pregnant. Pregnant with twins is hugely pregnant. And yet, I don’t look like a parade float. Vera Wang is a frickin’ magician .

  “Your minute is up!” Bea insists. “You are gorgeous! Let’s get married !”

  There is a string quartet in the dining room, and as soon as I hit the top stair, they begin playing Pachelbel’s Canon. I have to hold my breath to keep from giggling or crying or expressing whatever emotion threatens to erupt from me next .

  Thoughtfully, Bea walks ahead of me, presumably to make sure that if I fall down the stairs she’ll break my fall. I will crush her first, instead of rolling into the guests. She’s a good friend. I’m lucky to have her .

  Slowly we walk down the stairs, my stairs. In the house that we share. My hand slides along the smooth, waxed banister, the way it will slide year after year, maybe for the rest of our lives. As I round the corner and head toward the back of the house, I think about how many times I’m going to walk down this hallway. Thousands of times. Making breakfast, doing laundry, chasing our children .

  Everything starts now, and I don’t want to forget a moment of it .

  The French doors to the conservatory are wide open, and I see over a hundred people in the wide, enclosed space. Ferns and rose garlands hang from the ceiling with white lengths of satin twisted around the trees, all lit with fairy lights. The white carpet extends to the far end, where a handmade vine arch stands, crafted by the same farmer from Shelter Cove who provided us with our first breakfast .

  My heart flutters in my chest, and I feel the twins swimming around each other, fluttering too. They must know how exciting this is. They can probably sense my joy, my nerves, my anticipation .

  Ethan’s smile is so wide and sincere, it brightens the room. And I step onto the white carpet, everyone turns to face me, but I can’t see any of them. Only him. Only this man that I wanted for so long, who I wanted before I even knew what it was to want a man. To love a man. Here he is, right in front of me .

  The Justice of the Peace wraps a length of ribbon around our clasped hands, murmuring the sacred words, promising a life together as good as we can make it, if we both swear to do our very best .

  Does he
?

  He does .

  Do I ?

  You bet I do .

  “By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife,” he says finally. “You may now kiss your bride !”

  In front of everybody, Ethan reaches forward, taking my cheeks in his strong hands. He pulls me to him, smiling, kissing my lips with a tenderness that takes my breath away. I shudder with delight, feeling the twins shuddering within me .

  We turn back to the crowd, lifting our clasped hands above our heads in triumph. The room erupts in applause and I look from face to face. My parents, so happy. Bea, grinning and clapping. Aden pumping his fist above his head. Even Mr. and Mrs. Mercer, smiling and waving, wishing us the very best in our life together .

  Like a fairytale. A dream come true .

  CHAPTER 25 - EPILOGUE

  ETHAN

  I n the middle of the night, Ava gets up out of bed, shuffling toward the bathroom and clicking on the light. It’s only the second time tonight, but I watch her anyway, with her nightgown swaying back and forth, lazily stretching her arms over her head .

  She would hate to know that I can hear her peeing, but I totally can. I’ll never bring it up. But the bathroom is right there, and she did leave the door open a crack. I don’t know why, but it’s charming. Everything she does is charming. Every pound she’s put on, every strange craving for olives and ice cream, every out-of-control emotion that takes her over like a band of wild horses .

  It all just dazzles me, like some kind of slow-motion miracle in progress .

  I hear the tap go on and the toilet flush at the same time. I think that she thinks that if she does them both at the same time, the tap camouflages the sound of the toilet. She is still quite modest, sometimes shy, even. I think it’s just her nature .

  She flips the light off, then flips it back on again. The tap goes on again, then back off .

  “Oh,” I hear her say. I push myself up on my elbows, waiting for her to reappear in the doorway .

  The door swings open, and I squint against the blinding light .

  “Hey, babe? You awake ?”

  “Everything all right in there?” I call out, sitting up and swinging my legs to the side .

  “Yeah, um… I think my water just broke .”

  Suddenly, I’m completely awake. Alert as a human being ever can be, buzzing with excitement. I grab the hospital bag off the table where it’s been sitting packed and ready for weeks. I help her into her shoes and out to the garage .

  For now, she is smiling. From what we know from the birth education classes, that could change at any second. Every few moments she sucks her breath through her teeth, then lets it out slowly. Her fingers dig into the palm of my hand. She is stronger than you might think, but I don’t flinch .

  At the hospital, an orderly greets us in the emergency room with a wheelchair and directs her into it. She holds her belly with both hands underneath, smiling as she breathes through puffed cheeks .

  “Have you been timing your contractions, hon?” the orderly asks her as we stride briskly through the hallways, careful not to wake up anybody who might be sleeping through this .

  “Every three minutes,” she replies .

  “Seriously?” I ask. “Already? That fast ?”

  She glares up at me with her cheeks puffed out. Little drops of sweat dot her upper lip .

  “Never mind, baby. I was just asking !”

  “Okay, here we are!” the orderly announces, wheeling us into a spacious delivery suite. It barely even looks like a hospital room, with a terrazzo floor and tasteful wallpaper. There’s an armoire on one wall, and the bed even looks like the sort of thing you might have in a really nice hotel .

  The orderly gives her a gown and instructions, and two more nurses show up. They scribble on the whiteboard near the door, efficiently communicating with each other in some kind of secret code. I help Ava onto the bed and press my lips against her forehead, inhaling deeply. She squeezes my hand .

  “I’m just going to apologize in advance for anything I might do or say in the next few hours, okay?” she tells me .

  “You just let loose,” I suggest. “I’m a Marine. I can take it .”

  I swear the nurses just rolled their eyes .

  Dr. Lopez arrives in about an hour, strangely casual about the whole thing. I’m sure she sees this sort of thing every day, but can’t help but wonder if everything is under control. Yet, everything goes more or less the way the instructional DVD said it all would .

  The anesthesiologist arrives to give her an epidural, and Ava calms somewhat. Pain becomes pressure, or so they say. Less pain, anyway. The heartbeat monitor pings at regular intervals. People wander in and out, executing their plans in a well-rehearsed dance .

  And I just stand here, holding her hand. Offering her ice chips. Wishing I could be more useful .

  It seems to happen almost too quickly, and her legs are up in stirrups and we’re all cheering for her to push. I slip my arm around her to help her half sit up, wishing I could do this for her, amazed that any human can do it at all .

  She pushes for a long time, or maybe it’s a short time. Everything is terrifying and exhilarating. I’ve never seen anything like this. Everyone’s yelling, Ava most at all. There are moments where I think she’s terrified, but somehow she gets through it .

  “That’s it! You’re doing great, Ava! One more push !”

  Ava grits her teeth as she bears down, and three people gather on the far end of the table .

  “Yes! You did it !”

  I search her face, meeting her eyes. She lets out a long breath and looks up at me, smiling. As soon as I see that she’s okay, I dare to look over my right shoulder .

  Dr. Lopez stands up just as a nurse brings a blue blanket underneath the tiny body that she holds in her blue-gloved hands. A swirl of dark hair crowns the head, and the tiny arms box at the air .

  “Which one is that?” Ava pants .

  “I think that’s our son!” I say, choking back a wave of tears .

  “Sure is!” Dr. Lopez announces. “And he is perfect. Absolutely perfect! You ready for his little sister ?”

  Ava steels herself, nodding determinedly. I can’t believe she is going to go through it all again, but she is. Everyone readies themselves, and she bears down, grunting and moaning, using every ounce of strength to bring our daughter to the world .

  She lies back, exhausted, sweating, and relieved. I wipe her forehead with a cool cloth, stunned beyond words .

  “Go,” she whispers hoarsely. “Look at them. Tell me they’re okay .”

  “Oh, they’re completely okay,” Dr. Lopez interrupts. She rolls two plastic-walled bassinets next to the side of the bed. “See? Totally okay. You did good, Mama !”

  Ava shifts to one side, somehow finding the strength to gaze upon our beautiful children who are already sleeping, snug in tightly swaddled blankets .

  “You can hold them,” the delivery nurse suggests .

  Ava looks startled. “We can? Just like that ?”

  The nurse chuckles, lifting the little girl from her bassinet and placing her gently in Ava’s arms. Ava cradles her automatically, stroking the edge of her face with the tip of her finger. She looks up with me with expression of surprise and delight .

  “We made this, Ethan. Isn’t it amazing ?”

  The nurse appears in my side, bouncing my son gently in her arms. She nods at me encouragingly .

  “Go on. Take him. He’s been waiting a long time. You can hold him .”

  I hold out my arms, but then I’m suddenly unsure. “What if I drop him ?”

  The delivery nurse rolls her eyes. “Big strong guy like you? I think you can handle it .”

  “They never trained us in this in the Marines,” I grin. She holds my son out, placing him in my arms. I curl him against my body, not too tight, as a rush of love and fear floods every cell in my body .

  “Oh, wow,” I say .

  “Right?” Ava a
sks me .

  We stare at each other for a long time, silently exchanging a wordless conversation about how strange this is, how wonderful it is. How there could be nothing more perfect in the whole world than this love here, today .

  I’ve been a lot of places, and I’ve done a lot of things. But I’ve never had a family like this. I never really knew was possible. Now that I have found this kind of love, everything is perfect .

  ONE NIGHT STAND

  Chapter 46

  “C an I get you another one, Harlow ?”

  I look up from my glass and nod a quick yes. Ben, the bartender at my favorite dive bar in Chelsea, was already pouring me a fresh gin and tonic before I had a chance to answer. This was the first night I made it out of the office before midnight in weeks, my latest trial finally complete. I was exhausted, because I’d been working sixteen-hour days for the last three months. But when you’re an Assistant District Attorney for the Violent Criminal Enterprises Unit in New York City, every case is the most important you’ve ever had .

  This last case has had our office in a panic for almost a year. My entire team has been focused solely on bringing down the Adelardi crime family, and we just officially prosecuted one of their major players, Carlo Adelardi. The district attorney has given us two days to recover because all too soon we’ll start over again on the next scumbag, and I’m planning on using my time off to get good and drunk. I need some time to myself. It’s been ages .

  This isn’t the kind of novelty I usually get to enjoy. As Harlow Bullock, daughter of a state senator and rising ADA in one of the most respected divisions of anti-crime in Manhattan, I’m expected to always be on my best behavior. But sometimes, a girl just needs a damn break. And tonight, this dive bar of questionable repute is going to be my break .

  I’m reaching across the sticky wooden bar to grab my glass, when a deep, growl of a voice next to me says, “I’ll take one of those too, please .”

  There is a man standing next to me, unlike any man I’ve ever seen in my life. He is beautiful, with the build and face of a boxer at the beginning of his career. He has huge, crystal blue eyes and scruffy, sandy blonde hair, but his beard almost has a tinge of red to it. He’s wearing a tight black t-shirt and a corduroy jacket over snug jeans that show off his… everything. I try not to stare, but I realize he’s staring at me too .