Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon? On the Side: Sword Oratoria, Vol. 2

by Fujino Omori, Kiyotaka Haimura

  “We’ve crisscrossed the town quite a bit already…so this is all that’s left.”

  With that, Loki made her way to the shack’s heavy wooden door. Expecting it to be locked, the goddess was genuinely surprised that there was no resistance when she grabbed the rust-covered handle and pulled…Creak, the hinges moaned as the door slowly opened.

  There was nothing inside the shack, except for the entrance to a set of spiraling stairs that went straight down. Loki showed no hesitation and went right inside. Tap, tap. Her footsteps echoed off the stone walls surrounding the stairwell.

  Loki and Bete descended into the thickening darkness, following the spiral around and around—until they emerged into the city’s sewer system.

  Dim light from sputtering magic-stone lamps provided vague outlines of the surroundings as the sound of flowing water reached their ears. The darkness farther down the sewer tunnel was so thick they couldn’t see where it ended.

  “I knew I shoulda forced this onto Raul…”

  Feeling that this was going to be more trouble than it was worth, Bete voiced his frustration under his breath.

  “Now, now, you’ll get a nice treat after we’re done.”

  Loki stuck her hand into the cloth sack and withdrew a magic-stone lantern. She clicked it on, and the details of their surroundings immediately came to light.

  “It’s just gonna be some kind of liquor, right?” said Bete with a cocked eyebrow. Loki laughed at his accurate prediction as the two of them started walking down the tunnel.

  “Tiona and Tione did some pokin’ around down here the day of the Monsterphilia, but I just wanna be sure. They might’ve missed a few things chasin’ after those monsters.”

  “Those two only got air between the ears. Can’t even imagine how much they missed.”

  They continued down the rather narrow tunnel, the sound of running water growing steadily louder until they found the main drainage vessel.

  Constructed completely out of stone, the tubelike tunnel was about six meders wide. The water flowed down the center while footpaths lined the edges. Loki and Bete followed the path along the right side.

  WHOOSSSSH. The rushing sound was so loud that it drowned out the possibility of conversation. Other tunnels fed into the main one from many directions, amplifying the echoes.

  At the same time, while the air was mustier down here than on the surface, the stench of sewage…was missing.

  Loki’s light illuminated several thin, purple crystalline columns at the end of one of the smaller tunnels. In the shape of a grate, this magic-stone product of Orario wasn’t designed to alter the flow.

  Instead, it served as a barrier to contamination, and only allowed the current through after purifying it. Put simply, it was a filter. The liquid rushing through the main tunnel was so clear it was hard to believe it had ever been dirty.

  These purifiers had been set up at the end of every channel feeding into this one, preventing the smell from ever reaching suffocating levels. This way, the brackish lake to the southwest would never be contaminated by draining sewage.

  Loki marveled at the creativity of the people of Gekai, coming up with useful inventions like this.

  “Ya know, with all these twisty-turny paths and the feel of this place…it’s a little bit like the Dungeon, wouldn’t ya say?”

  “Hah! Don’t make me laugh.”

  Bete, who spent his days in the real Dungeon, scoffed at Loki’s remark. This man-made “dungeon” was not even worth comparing to the real thing.

  Along the wall were openings that branched off into side paths, or sometimes staircases, and there were even raised bridges that connected to the other side of the tunnel. Bete felt no pressure from traveling through the dark sewers and was very careful to keep Loki safe from danger, albeit while voicing complaints. A raider fish, a monster native to the open ocean that must have found its way in through the brackish lake, jumped out of the stream to feast on potential prey. However, one swift kick, courtesy of Bete, slew it before it even got close to the goddess. The whole incident was over before Loki even realized she was in danger. “Ouuu,” she said with puckered lips, impressed by the strike she hadn’t even seen.

  The lantern-style magic-stone lamp in her hand cast light in all directions. Two long shadows trailed across the stone walls. Bete’s silhouette resembled that of a wolf on the prowl, complete with ears and tail, stretching as far as the light shone down the tunnel behind them.

  “Oh?”

  Something came into view after the two of them had spent a decent amount of time exploring the main channel.

  An iron door, the likes of which they’d never seen before, appeared at the edge of the lantern’s glow.

  It had obviously been there for quite a long time. Opening down the middle, the two sides were made from heavy iron and sealed shut by a large padlock on the front.

  “The heck is this?”

  “A sewer…from the old days.”

  Loki spotted a plate on the wall. Holding the light up close to it, she managed to read the faint letters on it. Apparently the sewer had been built before the modern system was installed and ignored ever since the new one was completed.

  Even so, Loki thought it was a bizarre design and questioned the intelligence of the architect as she brought the light closer to the iron door.

  As more details came into view, Loki noticed that the jet-black rock showed signs of being used—opened and closed many times by human hands.

  “Well, ain’t this fishy…”

  Her thin eyes opened a little wider as she whispered to herself.

  It would be perfectly logical that Guild employees came through here periodically, but that meant there was something interesting behind the door. Loki wasn’t going to walk away from this without knowing one way or the other.

  She summoned Bete to her side with a simple glance. The werewolf was by no means enthusiastic, but he took the padlock in both hands and started to pull. Crick, crick, crick. The padlock groaned right away before breaking with a metallic pop.

  Splitting the lock into two pieces, he tossed them aside and opened the iron doors with ease.

  To their surprise, wall-mounted magic-stone lamps lit up the old sewer that supposedly wasn’t in use.

  “Hold on, why’s there water in here?”

  Passing through the door and ascending a small staircase, they realized that the path was flooded. There were no dry bridges like the ones they had followed to get here. Bete curled his lips back as he watched the surface of the black river running through the tunnel.

  Loki lowered her lantern to just above the surface of the water so she could see its depth. Suddenly, she looked up at her adorable family member.

  “Bete, gimme a ride!”

  “Come again?”

  “I don’t wanna get my shoes wet! So, piggyback!”

  “Are you frickin’ serious? It ain’t that deep, so shut up and walk!”

  “But~! You have to carry me! I want a piggyback! I can’t go on without a piggyback!”

  Watching his goddess throw a temper tantrum, Bete muttered, “Dammit, woman,” under his breath with his tail twitching up a storm. “Fine, just shut up already!” He gave in, covering the wolf ears on top of his head to protect them against Loki’s whiny voice, and knelt in front of her.

  Looking down at his wide shoulders as if her own personal chariot had arrived, Loki grinned and squealed like a child as she jumped on.

  “Now then, onward, Bete! I’m expectin’ a smooth ride!”

  “Any complaints and I’m tossin’ you in.”

  Doing his best to hold down the rage flowing through his veins, Bete stood up smoothly with Loki draped on his back.

  “Whoa!” shouted Loki with innocent glee, suddenly seeing everything from a higher vantage point. It was hard for Bete to believe that a deusdea could be so pure.

  She looked left and right, thoroughly enjoying the view as Bete trudged his way through the flowing water.
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  “Neh-hee-hee, do ya feel like yer carryin’ some cute little lady? Too bad, ’tis me!”

  “Shut it.”

  “Tell me, tell me! What’s it feel like?! Me on yer back instead of Aizuu—how do ya feel?!”

  “Wanna go for a swim…?”

  Bete’s lips twitched as Loki leaned over his left and right shoulders back and forth, trying to get a better look at his face. Veins bulged on the werewolf’s forehead as he fought back the urge to throw off the extra “luggage” and her perverted smile right then and there.

  Bete pressed forward, water sloshing around his legs as he did his best to ignore Loki’s constant questions. Half of his metallic boots were hidden by the dark water flowing by his shins. Compared to the well-organized layout of the modern system they had just passed through, the old sewer was far more complicated and felt more like the labyrinth farther below.

  “Wonder if the Guild was lookin’ around this far in after the festival?”

  “The air still smells like people. This water’s muckin’ things up, so I can’t tell much more than that…”

  Loki raised the lamp and kept her head on a swivel, looking for anything strange. Bete took a long whiff of the air after she made her comment.

  Using the superior sense of smell that all werewolves had, Bete was able to tell that someone had been in this part of the old sewer recently. He explained that it was too faint to figure out how many people there were as he turned to face the direction of the smell.

  “Hnn,” whispered Loki, her left arm wrapped around his neck while the right held the lantern high to light up the path.

  She casually swung her legs back and forth while Bete made his way up the tunnel against the current…until a “hole” appeared in the wall.

  “Well, somethin’ really let loose…”

  The stone wall was crumbling around the edges of a wide, jagged opening. With water pouring from the lower rim, this seemed to be the origin of the liquid flowing through the old sewer system.

  Loki tilted her head as she gazed upon the opening. Judging by the outward-facing border, whatever caused it had most likely come from the other side.

  “This the jackpot…?”

  Loki grinned. Her searching had finally paid off with a promising lead. And then…

  Flick! Like a beast raising its head, Bete’s wolf ears suddenly stood on end.

  “Get off.”

  One look at the side of Bete’s face told Loki she had no room to argue, and she complied.

  Bete was so focused on the dark area on the other side of the hole that he barely heard Loki’s feet hit the water next to him.

  “Those damn Amazons…where the hell were they lookin’?”

  His mood worsening by the moment, Bete led the way inside.

  “It’s all still here,” he spat, with Loki not far behind.

  Loki followed the werewolf even deeper into the cavity. It had been carved by something large—whatever it was, it had passed through many different tunnels on its journey, all of which were now inundated with water. Bete showed no hesitation as he went even farther into the darkness. Soon, he spotted a wide staircase in the distance.

  The cold sensation of water around his ankles gone, his footsteps echoed against a hard surface as the straight path opened up before him.

  “Is this…a reservoir?”

  Loki held her lantern aloft as she looked around the area.

  It was a long, rectangular chamber filled with a forest of columns. Each of the equally spaced structures was supporting the ceiling overhead. They had to be at least ten meders high. The vast hollow space shrouded in darkness was indeed worthy of being called a reservoir.

  Since the Dungeon was beneath the city and the brackish lake was connected to the sewer network, Loki reasoned that they must now be underneath the southwest portion of the city, quite a ways from Central Park. Evidence of the water level still remained on the walls and columns, as if this reservoir hadn’t held water for a long time. This space could have practically been used to dry-dock a boat. The magic-stone lamps on the ceiling were just barely strong enough to emit a thin, weak light.

  Loki’s ears picked up a faint, slithering sound in the distance.

  Spinning to face it, she immediately saw Bete with his back toward her and something large moving in the darkness.

  A yellowish-green body emerged from the darkness a moment later.

  The flowered predator appeared, resembling an overgrown vine intertwined with the columns, and was soon was joined by another, and another.

  Sensing that they were not alone, the snakelike creatures worked their way through the darkness toward the intruders. Their bodies writhed, releasing puffs of pollen as their bud-like heads split open.

  Their fangs bared, flashing in the darkness from the other side of the colorful, ominous pollen cloud, the monsters reared up their bodies and looked down on Loki and Bete from just below the ceiling.

  “Loki, get back and stay there.”

  Bete, who was already braced for combat, didn’t even look at his goddess as he spoke.

  His amber gaze was locked solely on the monsters. Leaning forward, he kicked off the floor and raced into battle at the same moment the closest monster’s roar echoed throughout the chamber.

  “OooOOOOOOOoooOOOOOOOOOO!”

  The plant monster charged, its roar the pitch of a broken bell.

  Three in all, the monsters advanced in unison like a muddy green tide. Not to be outdone, Bete charged forward to meet them. One hard step with his left leg launched him off the stone floor.

  Setting his sights solely on the closest monster, he swung his long right leg forward.

  “You freakin’ stink, all of you!”

  “?!”

  Bete’s right foot connected cleanly with the monster’s head like an athlete kicking a ball. The creature’s long body arced backward into the air as echoes of the dull impact filled the chamber.

  It was pure strength; no tricks or special techniques were involved. Bete repelled the monster’s charge with a limb that paled in comparison to its gigantic, snakelike frame. Crack! The metal boot that covered Bete’s right foot had struck one of the monster’s fangs. Pieces of the tooth fell from its mouth.

  Bete easily dodged the incoming attacks that came from his left and right, counterattacking as they passed. He refused to let the plant beasts get anywhere near Loki. Their bodies fell far off to the side.

  Along with power, the ash-colored werewolf was known for his speed and precision. Even among Loki Familia, he was considered the best at reading his opponents and retaliating against their next move before it could even happen. Each of the beasts seemed to be two or three seconds behind him as each attack was neutralized in quick succession.

  His speed to overwhelm, his precision to keep the opponent at bay, and his uncanny ability to start vicious brawls in an instant were what inspired his nickname: “Crazed Wolf, Vanargand.”

  Setting up for a final blow, Bete jumped toward a monster that had fallen to his right. Every muscle in his body worked in unison to bring his right leg down onto the monster’s exposed neck like the blade of a guillotine.

  “Huhaa?”

  However, his killing strike didn’t go through anything.

  He was expecting the creature’s bud-like head to roll across the floor. Instead, a single petal fell. That was the only sign that he’d made contact at all.

  A sound of surprise and disbelief escaped his throat as pain shot up the nerves in his legs from behind the metal boot. “Tsk!” Anger coursed through him at the thickness of the creature’s hide. The monster shook its head a few times to recover, then released its own rage-filled roar.

  “The hell you need that solid a body for…?!”

  Bete voiced his frustration as his other two enemies joined their ally and attacked as one.

  It was strange for Bete to agree with Tiona about anything, yet they had the same opinion about this monster. Lips twitching at th
e thought, he moved to engage all three at once. Each of the beasts released several vines, launching them like spears from all angles. Bete made use of all the space available to dodge them, as well as take cover behind stone pillars when necessary.

  Not even Aiz Wallenstein could match the werewolf in terms of pure speed, and Bete was using everything he could muster as he fought the creatures to a stalemate.

  “Mhmm, they’re movin’ so fast I can’t tell what’s even happenin’.”

  Back at the entrance to the reservoir, Loki watched the battle from the shadow of a stone pillar.

  The moment that she saw an ash-gray flash that was probably Bete, one of the monsters went flying. She couldn’t comprehend anything that was happening, so she kept her vermilion gaze on the monsters not currently in combat, in an attempt to study them.

  It was impossible to tell at the Monsterphilia because the flower monsters had never fully emerged from the ground, but the ends of their “tails” were thick and bulbous. Numerous tendrils sprouted from the bases of their bodies like the roots of a tree, along with things that seemed like root hairs.

  They probably dig those thingies into the Dungeon to feed, she thought to herself…before suddenly noticing a strange shadow above her head.

  It came from the ceiling—a single stem wrapping itself around the pillar that served as her hiding place.

  Twitch. She felt a shiver run down her spine. Her suspicions were confirmed the moment a speck of pollen fell on her shoulder.

  That ain’t good. Loki knew she was in trouble. Dashing from her hiding place, she looked up…

  And saw exactly what she had expected: another one of the plant monsters staring at her with its fanged mouth wide open.

  “AAAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAAA!!”

  “Ehgawd!”

  An intimidating roar hammered her from above. Green stalks raced forward like whips in an attempt to grab her, but only hit empty air.

  Loki’s screams didn’t sound as afraid as they probably should have, even as she sprinted at full speed.

  “Uoohhh! I’m done for! It’s gonna catch me~!”

  Loki raced through the chamber, her quick and light-footed movements reminiscent of a fugitive on the run from the law. However, with her all-powerful Arcanum abilities sealed, an actual mortal criminal would have been faster. There was no way she could escape the ravenous monster.