Friends With Benefits

by Lisa Swift

  So much so, in fact, that Theo couldn’t stop thinking about it. He’d once told Lexie that sex wasn’t always an act of love but it was always an act of trust, and who could you trust more implicitly than your best friend? So many times recently he’d caught himself letting his mind wander back to that night, the heat of Lexie’s flesh, the scent of her as he’d rocked her against him, face flushed, lips parted and panting, her fingers buried in his hair… it made it bloody difficult to do his job when every time his gaze fell on her, he started thinking about how it would feel to tear her waitress uniform off and make love to her on the bar.

  That was what happened when you dropped your guard. For years, while acknowledging that Lexie Whittle was a very attractive woman, Theo had kept her behind an off-limits screen of nothing more than platonic friendship. She’d been his best friend’s wife for most of the time he’d known her, and, when she was no longer that, she was herself his best friend, not to mention his business partner. It wasn’t appropriate to think about her in that way. But now the screen had been shattered, it seemed there was no way Theo could fix it back in place.

  Perhaps part of the problem was that she’d called time on things straight after. To enjoy the best sex you’ve ever had and then be told immediately afterwards that it was done now, over, never to be enjoyed again, was bound to stoke a certain longing to have the experience repeated.

  ‘…so that was when I retrained as a physiotherapist. It was all I ever wanted to do, so yeah, I don’t regret it.’ Francesca raised an eyebrow. ‘Theo?’

  ‘Hmm?’ He glanced up from his wine. ‘Oh. Yes. It does sound like a rewarding career. I’d have loved to do something like that myself.’

  Appeased, she smiled and continued whatever she’d been talking about. Theo watched her perfectly glossed lips move as she spoke.

  Francesca was funny, but she wasn’t Lexie funny. Pretty, but not Lexie pretty. Or beautiful, rather. He still remembered the night he’d first seen Lex at the casino, this gorgeous, long-legged croupier in an almost non-existent second skin of a black mini dress, her blonde hair pulled back in a sophisticated twist, expertly dealing cards at the poker table. Lexie had said she felt like a Bond girl in that job, and she’d sure as hell looked like one. No wonder Daryl had been so intent on sweeping her off her feet, taking her to the altar less than eight months later.

  Theo remembered how she’d looked on that day too; her wedding day. He’d stood beside Daryl, in his tails and waistcoat, with the ring in his pocket, waiting for his friend’s young bride to make an appearance. God, but she’d been stunning – breathtaking even, in a figure-hugging ivory gown that caressed every inch of her. His jaw had almost hit the floor when she’d walked down the aisle towards them. For a moment, just a fleeting moment, he’d half wished he and Daryl could change places.

  But the most beautiful he’d ever seen her had been on that night just over a week ago, wearing nothing except her own skin… and his against it.

  Daryl never had appreciated just what a gem he’d got in Lexie Whittle. He was proud of her beauty, charmed by her vivacity, grateful for the way she took care of Connor, but he’d never really seen her. Even back when Theo and Daryl were still friends, it used to irritate him. The way Daryl constantly compared her to Elise wound him up most of all. Elise had been a lovely girl, but she wasn’t Lexie, and Lexie wasn’t Elise. If Daryl was so hung up on the wife he’d lost, why find himself a new one? Whoever she was with, Lexie deserved to come first with them.

  Francesca was talking about the day Theo had asked her out at the restaurant now: how attracted she’d been to him, how flattered when he’d made the first move. Her voice had sunk to a seductive purr, and she reached out to run a finger over the back of his hand. Theo forced himself to smile, giving all the right responses whenever she left a gap for him to speak, but he was on autopilot; just going through the motions.

  What he’d said to Lexie had been true: casual dating wasn’t nearly as much fun as it used to be. Maybe he was getting old, or maybe he was just getting bored. Why did he do it? The thrill of the chase? Except he couldn’t be bothered to do much chasing, these days. He’d only asked Francesca out because she’d made it easy for him.

  The sentimental answer, of course, was that having grown up without a father, watching a string of his mum’s boyfriends pass through the house and her poor heart break a little with each failed love affair, he’d had no model of a healthy, committed relationship in his formative years to aspire to. The X-Factor tragic backstory angle was bollocks though. The truth, as he well knew, was that sex with attractive women massaged Theo’s ego: the poor, fragile, ephemeral thing that it was.

  Still, he’d always known he didn’t want a kid, and that was something he was happy to lay at his absent father’s door. The idea of being a parent horrified him when he thought of all the ways there were for him to fuck life up for a child. Being a godfather was responsibility enough, especially just lately. He really admired Lexie for wanting to give Connor the stability of a steady home life like the one he’d missed out on himself.

  Lexie again. Why did his thoughts keep wandering back to her? He realised Francesca was still stroking his fingers and forced himself back into the moment. Lexie had made her views on anything else happening between them quite clear; he didn’t know why he was still obsessing over it. Whereas here was a beautiful woman massaging both his hand and his ego with flirtatious touches and that seductive, smoky gaze – someone who was undeniably interested in whatever he might have to offer her tonight.

  He looked at the manicured fingers covering his and smiled. ‘So do you have a set bedtime, Francesca, or do your parents let you stay out as late as you like?’

  She laughed. ‘I’m free, single and ready to mingle, if that’s what you mean. What did you have in mind?’

  ‘I thought that after we’d eaten, you might like to come back to my place for a nightcap and I’ll play you some of my Barry White vinyls. What do you say?’

  ‘I think I’m going to need more to entice me than Barry White,’ she said, looking up at him through lowered lashes. ‘What else do you have to offer?’

  ‘Oh, I’m sure I can think of something you’d enjoy. How about—’

  Their flirting was interrupted by the buzz of his mobile phone, sitting on the table by his wine glass.

  It was Lexie. What did she want? She knew he was going out tonight.

  ‘Francesca, I’m so sorry about this,’ he said. ‘It’s my business partner. I have to take it, it might be urgent.’

  Francesca didn’t look happy at being interrupted just as their flirting was getting interesting, but she nodded.

  ‘Lex, what’s up?’ Theo said in a low voice. ‘I’m in a restaurant.’

  ‘Oh God, sorry, Theo. You’re out with Table Eight tonight, aren’t you? I forgot you had a date.’

  ‘Well, never mind. Is it urgent?’

  ‘I just wanted to ask if you’d heard from Connor.’ He noticed her voice was trembling.

  ‘Connor? No. Isn’t he home?’

  ‘No. He goes to youth club after school on Wednesdays, but he should’ve been back half an hour ago. When I rang the guy who runs it, he said Connor hadn’t even turned up.’

  ‘What about his friends, have they seen him?’

  ‘I rang Janette Cavendish and Oliver’s parents, but they don’t know anything. All I could find out was that he had a big row with Sophie today at school. Theo, I’m worried.’

  ‘Have you called his mobile?’

  ‘I tried, but he’s switched it off. Will you let me know if he gets in touch with you?’

  ‘Of course.’ He hesitated, looking at Francesca. ‘Do you want me to come over?’

  ‘No, no, don’t be daft. Enjoy your date. There’s nothing you can do here.’

  ‘What will you do?’

  ‘Ring the parents of his other two mates and if they don’t know anything, start scouring the streets, I suppose. Shit, Theo, I hope he’s O
K.’

  ‘I’m sure he is. Look, keep me posted, won’t you?’

  He hung up and immediately tried Connor’s number, but Lexie was right: it was switched off, and the call went straight to voicemail.

  ‘Con, when you get this, can you ring your stepmum or me right away? Please,’ he muttered after the beep.

  ‘All done?’ Francesca asked, raising an eyebrow.

  ‘Yes.’ He smiled at her. ‘Sorry about that.’

  ‘Is everything all right?’

  ‘Yes. I mean, it’s nothing for you to worry about.’

  He was only half concentrating on her, one eye still fixed on his phone. Where was Connor? Should he go back to Leyholme and help look for him? Oh God, please say he hasn’t done anything stupid…

  Chapter Twelve

  ‘…and that’s when I knew the marriage was definitely over,’ Francesca said as they finished their main courses. ‘I mean, in the back of a Volkswagen! If he had to be unfaithful, he could have at least kept it classy.’

  She frowned when Theo didn’t respond.

  ‘Sorry, Theo, is my life story boring you?’

  He looked up from his phone. ‘Hmm?’

  ‘Look, do you need to be somewhere else? You’ve barely said a word since your friend called.’

  ‘Sorry. Sorry. Just worried about something.’ He jumped as his phone buzzed again. ‘Francesca, I—’

  ‘You need to get that,’ she said, looking fed up as she propped her chin on her fist. ‘Is it your friend again?’

  ‘No, it’s the kid of this guy I hate… look, it’s a long story. I’ll take it outside.’

  He hurried into the foyer of the country hotel they were dining at, where he could talk in private.

  ‘Connor, mate, where the hell are you?’ he hissed. ‘Lexie’s looking for your body in every ditch and disused quarry in the Calder Valley.’

  The boy sobbed. ‘Can we talk, Uncle Theo?’

  He glanced through the open door to where Francesca was fiddling with her phone, looking bored.

  ‘Sure, kiddo,’ he said. ‘What’s up? Are you safe?’

  ‘Yeah. Sophie dumped me.’

  ‘Oh… God.’ He sighed. ‘I’m sorry, Con. Look, where are you? I’ll come and find you.’

  ‘In the park. I didn’t dare go home.’

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘Sophie found out about what happened with Oli, that’s why she ended it. I thought if she told her mum, she’d ring Lexie about it and then I’d be in all kinds of shit.’

  ‘So you thought you’d sit in the kiddies’ playground in the dark and wait to get murdered by some passing psychopath, did you?’

  ‘What, in Leyholme?’

  ‘Well, you never know. Just stay where you are, OK? I’ll hop in a taxi and be there in no time.’

  When he’d hung up, he asked the receptionist to call him a cab and hurried back to Francesca.

  ‘Sorry, love, I have to go.’

  ‘Mmm. I had a feeling you might say that.’

  ‘Look, it’s been fun.’ He pecked her cheek and chucked a few twenties down on the table. ‘Here, have this on me. I’ll call you.’

  Once he was inside the taxi, Theo texted Lexie to let her know Connor was safe and he’d be bringing him home shortly. When he arrived at the park, he discovered the boy sitting on a swing with his hood up, pushing himself morosely back and forth.

  Theo nodded. ‘All right?’

  ‘Hiya.’

  He sat down on the swing next to Connor’s. ‘So you broke up with Sophie then.’

  Connor swallowed a sob. ‘She broke up with me.’

  ‘What happened, Con?’

  ‘I talked to Oli, like you told me.’

  ‘How did that go?’

  ‘Yeah, all right. He does like me, but he said he was happy we should just be mates and I told him I wanted to see how things worked out with Soph. I don’t think he liked that much but he said it was OK. But then she caught us hugging and she wouldn’t believe me when I said that’s all it was.’ He choked back another sob. ‘And now she’ll tell everyone, JJ and Crucial and everyone at school, and Lexie’s going to kill me.’

  ‘She’s going to kill you if you don’t go home when you’re supposed to. Why do you think she’s going to kill you for what happened with Oli?’

  ‘She’s always gone on at me about how it’s important to make good choices and not hurt people, ever since I was little. I hurt Sophie loads, and Oli too. And I cheated on Soph, which is like the worst thing you can do, right? I once heard Lexie tell Dad that if he ever did that to her, she’d castrate him in his sleep with a rusty Swiss army knife.’

  Theo blinked. ‘Bloody hell, did she say that? She’s terrifying.’

  ‘What’s castrate mean anyway? Like, murder?’

  ‘Er, no, not quite. I’ll tell you when you’re older.’ He rested a hand on the boy’s shoulder. ‘It’s time to tell her the truth, Connor,’ he said gently. ‘I promise on my honour as a… godfather that she won’t be mad with you.’

  ‘Yeah. S’pose I have to now.’ Connor looked up at him. ‘Will you stay with me though?’

  He frowned. ‘Me?’

  ‘I won’t feel so scared if you’re there.’

  ‘Oh, well… yes, I suppose I can do that.’ He patted his shoulder. ‘Come on. The sooner we do it, the sooner it’s done.’

  * * *

  ‘Connor!’ Lexie gasped when she opened the door. She threw herself at him for a hug. ‘You bloody little… bastard! Where the hell have you been? Do you know how worried I was?’

  ‘Sorry,’ he muttered.

  ‘Get inside, now.’ She glanced at Theo. ‘Thanks for bringing him home, love. I’m so sorry you had to cut your date short. Don’t worry, he’s about to be good and grounded for it.’

  ‘Um, Lexie.’ Connor glanced at Theo. ‘I need to tell you something.’

  She frowned. ‘OK. What is it?’

  ‘Can Theo come in? I want him to be here when I tell you. It’s, um… it’s kind of important.’

  ‘Well, yes, of course he can,’ she said, looking surprised. ‘Let’s go in the living room then.’

  Connor sat on the sofa, eyes cast down, and Theo took a seat beside him. Not really knowing what his role as moral support was supposed to entail, he gave the boy an encouraging pat on the back.

  ‘It’s all right, Con.’ He smiled at Lexie. ‘You can tell her. I promise it’ll all be OK.’

  ‘What is it, Connor?’ Lexie said softly. ‘You had a row with Sophie, is that it?’

  Connor nodded miserably. ‘We kind of… we kind of split up. Did you talk to her mum?’

  ‘Yes. She said there’d been an argument. She didn’t know what it was about.’

  ‘I thought she might’ve told you…’

  ‘Told me what?’

  ‘Told you…’ He glanced at Theo, who nodded encouragingly. ‘It’s just, I think I might be kind of bi. Or maybe pan. I’m not sure yet.’

  ‘Oh, sweetheart.’ Lexie leaned across to take his hand. ‘Is that it? That’s what’s been bothering you all this time?’

  He nodded. ‘Theo told me it was OK. I mean, I know it is; you always told me it would be, if I liked boys or girls or both or neither or whatever. But then I did a bad thing to Sophie and I felt really crappy.’

  ‘This is where it gets complicated,’ Theo told her.

  Lexie frowned. ‘All right. Can you tell me the bad thing?’

  ‘I kissed Oli. Behind her back, kind of. He’s gay, only I didn’t know that then, but anyway, it still happened. So now he likes me, and Soph says she thinks she loves me, but she hates me too for cheating on her and I don’t know which one of them I like more but I don’t want to lose either of them and I’m terrified Sophie’s going to tell all my mates and everyone at school who might be a dickhead about it and… ugh, it all just blows so badly I don’t know what to do.’

  He burst into tears, and Lexie went to sit on the arm of the sofa so she could
hug him.

  ‘Oh, Connor, sweetie,’ she whispered. ‘Why didn’t you tell me all this before? I’ve been imagining all sorts of awful things.’

  ‘I thought you’d be mad,’ he muttered. ‘Cheating’s really bad, isn’t it?’

  ‘It is bad, but you were going through a confusing time. I think that’s something Sophie ought to understand.’

  ‘She doesn’t understand at all. She thinks I just pretended to like her so the others wouldn’t realise me and Ol were doing stuff. Lexie, she said she…’ He choked on a sob. ‘She said she never wanted to see me again.’

  ‘She’s angry and hurt. That won’t last.’ Lexie sighed and hugged him tighter. ‘Anyway, maybe it’s not such a bad thing that you two should take a break. It sounds like you’ve got a lot of confusing thoughts and feelings spinning about inside you at the moment. Perhaps you ought to take some time to deal with those before you start thinking about dating again. You’re very young to have this kind of pressure on you, Connor.’

  He sniffed. ‘But she won’t even talk to me. I still want her to like me, even if we stop being boyfriend and girlfriend.’

  ‘Of course you do.’ She kissed the top of his head and released him from the hug. ‘Would you like me to speak to her?’

  ‘No. Thanks.’ He glanced at Theo. ‘I think I have to do it myself.’

  She put an arm around him and rubbed his shoulder. ‘That’s very mature of you, my love. I’m proud of you.’

  ‘Why? I hid things from you and I got excluded and I made a total balls-up of everything.’

  ‘And then you felt bad and you tried to fix it. That’s all any of us can do.’

  He smiled feebly. ‘Cheers, Lexie. Sorry I’ve been so bratty lately.’

  ‘All forgiven.’

  ‘And I’m sorry I said you weren’t my mum. That was a really shitty thing to say to you.’ He looked up at her. ‘I mean, you totally are really.’

  ‘Aww.’ She gave him another squeeze. ‘I suppose you’ll die of embarrassment if I tell you I love you in front of Theo, but just this once I think I have to.’