Friends With Benefits

by Lisa Swift

  ‘Hey, this is all right, isn’t it?’ she whispered. ‘We haven’t even officially opened yet and we’ve already got customers. You should see the main street, it’s crammed.’

  ‘I know. Looks like we’re going to have a good day.’

  She smiled at him in his RAF uniform. ‘You know I can’t resist you in that thing. What do you reckon, can we fit in a quickie at the flat later?’

  He didn’t respond, and she frowned. ‘You all right?’

  ‘You didn’t call me last night like you said you would.’

  ‘Oh God, sorry.’ She put a palm to her forehead. ‘I totally forgot. Sorry, Teddy. The boys wanted to have a family film night and I got distracted.’

  ‘Film night?’

  She nodded. ‘Daryl introduced Connor to Monty Python. He loved it, naturally, so that’s one thing they’ve found to bond over.’

  ‘Con decided to give Daryl a chance then?’

  ‘Yeah, they made a breakthrough during a heart-to-heart about Elise. I wouldn’t say Connor’s exactly in the adoring son category now, but he’s cautiously allowing his dad to spend time with him. I hope today goes well for them.’

  ‘What, Daryl’s here?’

  ‘Yep. Connor’s introducing him to Oli.’

  Theo knew it was daft, since he’d been the one to encourage Connor to give his dad a chance, but nevertheless he felt a surge of jealousy.

  ‘That’s good news then,’ he said, trying to ignore it.

  ‘Yes, I thought it was pretty encouraging. Daryl seems determined to prove himself this time. If it goes well today, I might ask if he wants to stay at the house for a bit longer. I know it’s a pain as far as me and you are concerned, but it could be a great thing for Connor.’

  She looked very happy. Was that for Connor’s sake, or for Daryl’s? They seemed to have transformed into a model happy family almost overnight. It sounded like the bloody Waltons over there.

  He handed her a plate of sandwiches, trying to ignore the sick feeling in his stomach. ‘Here, you’d better take these to the old dears at the corner table. I’ll be over with their teas in a minute.’

  * * *

  Some hours later, Theo watched as Lexie carried a couple of buttered scones to one of the tables. The brass band had given way to a ukulele-strumming George Formby impersonator, and the chirpily phallic innuendo of ‘With My Little Stick of Blackpool Rock’ was doing nothing to improve his mood.

  Not a good investment. The words kept jumping into his head, every time he looked at her. Ever since Connor had told him Daryl had plans to win his estranged wife back, Theo couldn’t stop thinking about it: how eight years ago, Lexie had chosen Daryl – steady, reliable Daryl – over his philandering, immature excuse for a best friend.

  He took out his phone and brought up the photo he’d saved from Facebook earlier.

  They looked so happy, the three of them. Connor and Daryl looking handsome in their army uniforms, grinning the same grin – everyone said it was Connor’s mum he most resembled but there was plenty of Daryl in the boy, especially when he smiled – and Lexie beside them, stretching a proud arm around her stepson. The perfect family.

  Lexie had told him he had nothing to be jealous about, but it was hard not to feel a bit green when he thought about her husband right there, living in the house with her. Yes, Daryl had hurt Lexie in the past, and their marriage had probably had as many unhappy days as happy ones. Nevertheless, there had been good times; Theo had been there through all of them. He remembered Lex sitting on his best friend’s lap as the three of them had sat around playing cards and drinking wine in the evenings after Connor had gone to bed; the way Lexie and Daryl laughed and pawed at each other, gazing sickeningly into each other’s eyes until Theo had started to feel it was time for this furry old gooseberry to roll itself home and leave his friends to get themselves a room. He remembered how loved up they’d been on their wedding day, when as best man he’d stood at Daryl’s right hand, making a complimentary speech about his friend’s beautiful bride and never knowing that one day he’d long to make the same vows to her himself.

  Why had things gone so wrong for Lexie and Daryl? The answer to that, of course, was Elise; or rather the ghost of her, haunting Daryl’s imagination, an ideal no other woman was ever going to live up to. If it hadn’t been for that, Theo didn’t doubt that the two of them would be happily married to this day.

  And now Daryl was back, full of regret for his past, desperate to show his family he was a changed man ready to be the husband and father he always should have been. Theo couldn’t help thinking, had anything really altered since the day Lexie had made her choice? Daryl was still steady and reliable, even more so now he seemed to have dealt with some of the character flaws he’d developed in the wake of Elise’s death. Meanwhile, Theo wasn’t far removed from the reckless, emotionally stunted fuck-up he always had been. One three-week relationship hardly made him Mr Dependable now, at least probably not in Lexie’s eyes.

  Christ, she’d never even have ended up in a relationship with him if she hadn’t been randy and seen him as a good bet for a regular shag, with his well-known predilection for no-strings-attached sex. She’d actually chosen him for his lack of ability to commit – the exact opposite reason for choosing Daryl originally – and only a trick of Fate had brought them to where they were now.

  He knew she loved him, but she’d loved Daryl too, once; loved him enough to become his wife, only eight months after they’d first met. Lexie’s generous heart had naturally gone out to that broken man who’d lost his first wife in such a tragic way, just as it had to little motherless Connor. Could she fall for Daryl again if he made up his mind to win her back? He was still her legal husband, and Connor’s father. They owned a home together. Lexie had a lot invested in Daryl Carson one way or another, and if what Connor had said was true, he was already giving it his best shot.

  What’s more, it sounded as though Lexie wasn’t exactly fighting him off with a stick. Holding hands? What had that been about? Theo had been torturing himself with jealous visions of Daryl putting his hands all over Lexie most of last night, made worse by the fact that these weren’t simply fevered imaginings but his actual memories. He knew Lexie had once welcomed Daryl’s touch just as much as his own. Maybe more…

  ‘All right?’

  Theo looked up from the butterfly cake he’d been glaring at to find that Daryl himself had appeared in the marquee and was smiling awkwardly at him.

  ‘What the hell do you want?’ he demanded.

  ‘Lexie. Is she here?’

  ‘You can see she bloody is.’ A couple of customers looked up from their tables, eyebrows raised at his angry tone, and Theo lowered his voice. ‘She’s over there.’

  Daryl glanced over his shoulder. Lexie had just finished serving one of the tables and was walking towards them.

  ‘Daz,’ she said, smiling. ‘Hiya. Where’s Connor?’

  ‘That’s what I came to tell you. He asked if he could go over to Oliver’s for a bit. I said that was OK and I’d give you the message.’

  Theo raised an eyebrow. ‘You said it was OK, did you? Who asked you?’

  ‘He’s my son, Theo. I could ask you the same question.’ He looked at Lexie. ‘You don’t mind, do you? Sorry, I should’ve checked first.’

  ‘No, that’s fine. As long as he’s home for tea.’ She rested a friendly hand on Daryl’s arm, and Theo tried not to glare at her fingers on his body. ‘Have you two had a nice afternoon?’

  ‘Yes, I think we’ve made some progress. How’s it been here?’

  ‘Great. Trade’s been non-stop.’

  ‘That’s good, right? Lots of publicity for the restaurant.’

  ‘That’s the idea. Everyone seems to have enjoyed themselves too. The committee were thinking we might make it a full weekend event next year.’

  ‘Look, there’s customers waiting,’ Theo snapped. ‘Can you two make chitchat in your own time? Me and Lexie have got work to do.�
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  Lexie frowned at him. ‘No need to be like that, Theo. It’s not that busy, is it? The other staff can handle it.’

  ‘It’s all right, Lex,’ Daryl said in a soothing voice. ‘I don’t want to cause any trouble. I’ll go.’

  ‘Good,’ Theo said. ‘Don’t let the door hit you on the way out, will you?’

  ‘We’re in a tent, mate.’ He squeezed Lexie’s arm. ‘See you back at home, love. I’ll get a bottle in for us, eh? You’ll need it after today.’

  ‘Yeah, thanks.’

  When he’d gone, Lexie turned to glare at Theo. ‘What the hell is wrong with you?’

  ‘What the hell is wrong with him? Did he just come to gloat or what?’

  ‘He was being perfectly polite and you bit his head off for no reason. Everyone was staring at us.’

  ‘It’s fine. We’ll just tell them it was a battle re-enactment.’

  ‘Seriously, Theo. Can’t you at least manage to stay civil?’ She lowered her voice. ‘He’s going to get suspicious if you start acting all jealous.’

  ‘Sorry.’ He sighed. ‘Sorry, you’re right. Look, can we have a word in private before you go swap with Claire at the restaurant?’

  ‘I guess. We can talk at HQ.’

  ‘Just taking a quick break, you guys,’ Theo called to the other servers. ‘Back in five.’

  HQ was what they called the gardening association hut to one side of the bandstand, which the festival committee had requisitioned for the afternoon. Theo unlocked the door and Lexie followed him in.

  ‘What’s up?’ she asked when they were inside.

  ‘Oh, nothing. Give us a hug, can you?’

  She blinked. ‘All right.’

  He sighed as he wrapped his arms around her.

  ‘Sorry,’ he whispered. ‘I was just… well, it doesn’t matter. I needed to touch you, that’s all.’

  ‘Come on, talk to me. You’ve been on another planet all day, and there was no need to have a go at Daryl like that in front of people.’

  ‘No, that was stupid. It’s just… Connor rang me last night, Lex.’

  ‘About his dad?’

  ‘Among other things. I encouraged him to hear what Daryl had to say.’

  ‘It must’ve worked then.’ She gave him a squeeze. ‘Thanks, Teddy. It’s big of you to put Connor first given your own feelings about Daryl.’

  ‘Lexie… Connor told me Daryl wanted you and him to work things out.’

  She frowned and let him go. ‘That’s not what you’re worried about, is it? Theo, we talked about this.’

  Theo lowered his eyes. ‘I know, but I couldn’t help feeling… he said you guys were holding hands.’

  ‘We weren’t holding hands. Daryl took my hand and then I took it away.’ She shook her head. ‘Do you not trust me or something?’

  ‘No, of course I do,’ Theo said, rubbing the back of his neck. ‘But, well, he is your husband, Lex. Your stepson’s father. And now he’s back in your house, sleeping there night after night, and you’re posting cosy family pics on Facebook and sharing bottles of wine with him while I’m hidden away in the flat like some dirty little secret you hook up with for the occasional quickie. And now you’re talking about inviting him to stay for even longer – well, how am I supposed to feel about that?’

  ‘You’re supposed to feel fine, Theo, because you know I’m in love with you. Daryl’s staying at the house for Connor, not me, something which the sleeping arrangements very much reflect.’

  ‘OK. So are you saying he hasn’t talked about you two getting back together?’

  She flushed slightly. ‘Well, no, he has. But that’s neither here nor there.’

  ‘Lex, come on! Neither here nor there? That your husband wants you back and is staying in your house? You seriously think that ought to be no big deal for me?’

  ‘It shouldn’t be any sort of deal if you trust me.’

  ‘When we met, you said you chose him over me because he was a better investment. Isn’t that still true? He’s wealthier than I am, more successful, not to mention you’ve been married for seven years – are married still, for fuck’s sake! You own a home together, you’ve got a kid together; tell me you really think I’m the one being unreasonable here.’

  ‘Yes I bloody do,’ she said. ‘Not a single thing you’ve just mentioned is important, Theo, for the simple reason that I don’t love Daryl. I love you.’

  ‘We’ve only been seeing each other officially for a few weeks. He can offer you a family life, a comfortable home—’

  ‘I don’t give a shit about what he can offer me!’ Lexie snapped. ‘He can’t offer me you, which is the thing I actually want.’ She scowled at him. ‘I can’t believe you’re being like this. What are we, twelve? Connor’s more mature about relationships than you are.’

  ‘Yeah, well he’s had more experience of relationships than I have.’

  ‘Christ, Theo! You’ve slept with nearly every woman this side of the Pennines. Ever since I’ve known you, just the word “commitment” has been enough to bring you out in a cold sweat. Do I get jealous or paranoid? No, because I trust you, for one thing, and I genuinely believe that you love me for another.’

  ‘Lex, come on. Don’t be that way.’

  He reached for her hand, but she jerked it away.

  ‘How do you expect me to be?’ she demanded. ‘You’ve all but accused me of shagging another man, which is a bit bloody rich coming from you.’

  He frowned. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

  ‘Come on. It was only three weeks ago I caught you out on a date with another woman right after I seriously believed I might be pregnant with your baby; literally on the brink of going home to have sex with her. And now you’ve got the chutzpah to accuse me of seeing someone behind your back? Really?’

  ‘I didn’t accuse you of anything,’ he muttered. ‘And Daryl isn’t just someone, is he? He’s your husband.’

  ‘He’s my husband on paper. Emotionally speaking, he’s not even on my radar.’ She glared at him. ‘So you actually believed I’d consider ditching you to go back to him, did you? Well thanks, Theo. Thanks a lot.’

  Theo’s cheeks were flaming with shame and humiliation. Why did he have to go and open his big, insecure mouth? They could have been holding each other now, finding comfort in one another; instead they were trapped in a blazing row.

  ‘I just thought, if you felt it would be good for Connor to have his dad at home…’ he mumbled.

  ‘You what?’ Lexie laughed. ‘So you think I’d sign my life away to Daryl, sleep with Daryl, throw aside the man I actually love, just for the sake of convenience? Of… of fucking accessibility?’

  ‘Look, I’m sorry.’ He sighed. ‘I don’t want to lose you, that’s all. It literally terrifies me, Lex; that’s what makes me paranoid. I’ve never had anything this good in my life before and I can’t help worrying there’s been some terrible mistake. That the universe is just waiting to snatch it all back from me.’

  She scoffed. ‘Really, you’re terrified of losing me? Am I supposed to think that’s sweet? I mean, nice job trying to keep me. I always dreamed of being with a man who’s so possessive and insecure he’s afraid to let me out of his sight in case I start shagging my exes the minute his back’s turned.’

  ‘Don’t take it that way. I was worried, that’s all. Don’t you think I had a right to be worried? Connor tells me Daryl’s been making advances to you, then you don’t call me when you say you will because you’re snuggled up watching films with the pair of them, like…’

  ‘Like?’

  ‘Well, like the three of us normally do.’

  She shook her head. ‘That’s it, isn’t it? This is some chest-beating silverback gorilla bullshit where you’re worried Daryl’s going to jump in and take your place. You really think there’s room for only one father figure in Connor’s life? That I have to pick one or the other of you to be his dad and therefore my official alpha male concubine in the family group? There
really isn’t any excuse for thinking I’d behave like I’m in the midst of some sodding… mating ritual, Theo.’

  ‘I don’t think that. That’s ridiculous.’

  ‘So do you trust me or don’t you?’

  He flinched. ‘I… I mean, yes, I do, obviously, I just…’

  ‘You just what?’

  ‘Well, he’s your husband, Lexie.’

  ‘He’s my separated, soon-to-be-ex-husband. Not my current boyfriend. Not someone I have any sort of romantic feelings for: not any more.’ She sighed. ‘Teddy, I love you, I do, but if you can’t learn to trust me… well, I think you need to have a long, hard think about how you do grown-up relationships. Goodbye.’

  She walked out to the angry sound of a Spitfire zooming overhead, Theo staring after her.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Daryl had changed out of his GI uniform and was in the living room reading the paper when Lexie arrived home after her last shift of the day. She still kept forgetting she was going to find him there. It gave her an uncomfortable jolt every time, as if she was somehow walking back into her past.

  She summoned a feeble smile for him. ‘Oh. Hi. Is Connor still at Oli’s?’

  ‘No, he’s upstairs writing notes on Mordecai the Slaughterous. I was pretty disturbed by that until he explained it’s some character he plays in Dungeons and Dragons.’ He frowned as he put down his newspaper. ‘What’s up, love? You seem depressed.’

  Oh, right. All those years of marriage and it was only now, when it was least convenient, that he started being perceptive about her moods…

  ‘No, just exhausted,’ she said. ‘Obviously it’s great we managed such a roaring trade, but it does feel a bit like I’ve been fed through a mangle.’

  ‘You do look tired,’ he said, examining her face. ‘You want me to cook?’

  ‘No, you stay put; it’ll help me wind down. I’ve got the ingredients for macaroni cheese, Connor’s favourite.’

  She was hoping Daryl would take the hint that she wanted to be left alone, but no. He stood up and followed her into the kitchen.

  ‘So what did you and Con get up to today?’ she asked, to make conversation as much as anything.