Friends With Benefits

by Lisa Swift

  She took a pen from her handbag and scribbled something on the back of the receipt before handing it back to him.

  ‘What’s this?’ he asked.

  ‘What do you think it is? My name and phone number.’ She followed his gaze to the ring on her third finger. ‘Oh, don’t worry about that, my divorce came through ages ago. I don’t know why I still wear it – just used to feeling it on my finger, I suppose. Believe me, I’m one hundred per cent unattached and up for some fun.’

  ‘Oh.’ He stared at the phone number for a moment. ‘Well, that’s, er… that’s very flattering’ – he squinted at the writing – ‘Jolene, but I’m… I won’t be able to call you. I mean, I’d love to get to know you better, but, well, I can’t. Sorry.’

  ‘Oh. OK.’ Jolene looked disappointed. ‘You’ve got a girlfriend, have you? Or a boyfriend? Sorry, I shouldn’t assume.’

  ‘No. Yes. I mean, maybe.’

  ‘What, aren’t you sure?’

  Theo was grateful to be interrupted by the ringing of the restaurant telephone.

  ‘I have to get that.’ He put the receipt with its scribbled phone number back on the table. ‘Thanks again, Jolene, and… well, sorry.’

  Claire had just beaten him to the phone as he approached the bar. She was frowning as she listened to whoever was on the other end speak.

  ‘Whatever’s wrong, love?’ she was saying. ‘Now, calm down, I can’t understand you. Tell me again.’ She paused. ‘Theo? Yes, he’s right here. Hang on.’

  She covered the mouthpiece.

  ‘It’s Lexie,’ she whispered. ‘Theo, she’s bawling her eyes out. I can barely make out what she’s saying. All I can get out of her is that she wants you.’

  He frowned. ‘What? Here, pass it over.’

  She handed it to him and left to start clearing tables.

  ‘Lex, what’s up?’ he asked.

  ‘Theo, he…’ Lexie broke off with a shuddering sob. ‘Theo, he… he’s gone. He’s gone, Theo.’

  ‘Sweetheart, calm down a little. Who’s gone where?’

  ‘Manchester,’ she gasped. ‘He… took him. You have to come.’

  Theo felt a dark foreboding settle on him.

  ‘Who took who, Lex?’ he asked in a low voice.

  ‘Connor. Daryl took Connor. He took… took my boy. Help me. Please, you have to help me.’

  * * *

  Connor sat hunkered under the highsleeper desk-bed in the room his dad had put him in, hugging his knees. He’d only just stopped crying – not because he wanted to, but because he seemed to have run out of tears. Once his body had made a new load, he’d probably cry a bit more. It didn’t help, but it made him feel like he was doing something to manifest his utter misery at the situation he found himself in.

  What was going to happen to him? Lexie had said she’d get a lawyer, but then she’d have to go to court and that could take a long time, couldn’t it? All he wanted was to go home, right now. This place – this bare, unfamiliar flat – felt far away and frightening, and his dad like a stranger who’d ripped him from everything he knew. Connor would never, ever forgive him for this, not if he lived to be a million. In three years he’d be eighteen, and after that he’d never see or speak to his father again for the rest of his life.

  Daryl knocked gently on the door.

  ‘Come on, Connor, come out,’ he said. ‘We need to talk.’

  ‘I’ve got nothing to say to you,’ Connor called back. He sniffed. ‘I want to go home, Dad.’

  ‘You are home.’

  ‘This is not my home,’ Connor snapped. ‘My home’s with Lexie.’

  ‘You agreed to come with me.’

  ‘Only because you told Lexie she’d have to break up with Theo, and I knew if she did that then she’d be sad forever. What, do you think you can blackmail me into coming here and then we’ll just be mates? Don’t you get that I hate you?’

  ‘I didn’t want you staying there. Lexie’s let you down badly, bringing men into the house for sex when you were there, letting you get into fights and God knows what else – none of which she saw fit to tell me while happily living off the money I send her. I’m sorry, but it’s obvious that I just can’t trust her to be a parent to you.’

  ‘It wasn’t men, it was Theo. He’s her boyfriend and she loves him, so I don’t see what’s wrong with that. You’re jealous, that’s all, because she picked him instead of you.’

  ‘That’s a very childish view to take, Connor. It was you I was looking out for.’

  ‘Yeah, bullshit. You were thinking about yourself, same as always.’

  ‘I promise you. You’re at an impressionable age when it comes to your feelings – your sexual feelings in particular. It sounds as though you’re very confused about a lot of things right now, and I don’t think Lexie is either mature or responsible enough to help you deal with that.’

  Connor frowned. ‘You don’t mean because I’m bi?’

  ‘I’m sure you believe that, Connor, but I think now that you’ve been removed from an unhealthy influence at home…’

  Connor snorted. ‘What, I’ll be cured, will I? Are you from the eighties or something?’

  ‘I just mean that what you are – who you are – is often in a state of flux at your age. You need a parent who’s able to guide you through that, not encourage you to indulge in all kinds of toxic experimentation.’ He sighed. ‘I should’ve realised Lexie was too young to cope with you at this age.’

  ‘What? I haven’t done anything toxic. That’s bollocks, Dad.’

  ‘Connor, I’m sure something like being bisexual sounds very cool and modern to you and your friends. It probably all seems like good fun at your age, but what you don’t seem to realise is that it will affect your whole life,’ Daryl said gently. ‘The way people treat you, your opportunities, your health. I don’t suppose Lexie has talked to you about any of this, has she? You need to think very carefully about whether this is what you really want.’

  ‘It’s got nothing to do with what I want, it’s what I am. Don’t you get that? This isn’t some new hobby, Dad, it’s me.’

  ‘Well, we’ll see about that. You’re very young to be making a permanent decision on something so important. I think you might find that in a year or so, you’ll feel differently.’

  ‘Why, are you going to send me to one of those torture clinics where they electrocute you in the balls until you’re fixed?’

  ‘Don’t be facetious, Connor.’

  ‘Ugh, I don’t even know what that means!’

  ‘It means that this isn’t something to joke about.’

  Connor sniffed and rubbed his eyes. ‘Aren’t you going to let me see Lexie ever again?’

  ‘Well, I’m not saying that,’ Daryl said in a softer voice. ‘She has been close to you for a long time, I suppose, despite her failings as a substitute for your mother. Once we’re settled into a new routine, we can arrange some supervised visits.’

  ‘Supervised by you, right?’

  ‘That’s right.’

  ‘But not with Theo. I can’t see him at all.’

  ‘Absolutely not,’ Daryl said firmly. ‘Connor, can you come out of your room, or let me come in? I’m sick of having a conversation with a door.’

  ‘All right, then sod off and don’t bother,’ Connor muttered. ‘You know I hate you, right? That as soon as I’m eighteen, I’m never seeing you or speaking to you again as long as I live? I wish you were dead – or I was.’

  ‘Now, you don’t really mean that.’

  ‘I fucking do. Are you going to give me my phone back or am I a prisoner in this shithole?’

  ‘Yes, you’re welcome to have it back now. I’ve got it here.’

  Connor wiped his eyes and went to open the door a crack.

  ‘Here you go,’ his dad said, passing him the phone.

  Connor frowned at it. ‘What’ve you done to it then?’

  ‘I’ve installed a parental filter. Just to block any undesirable numbers, messa
ging app contacts, that kind of thing.’

  ‘You mean you’ve blocked Lexie and Theo.’

  ‘For now. I’m sorry, Connor, but it’s the only way. Perhaps tomorrow you can call Lexie on my phone, with the speaker on so I can hear what’s being said.’

  ‘Christ, this really is a prison,’ Connor muttered. ‘Can I at least have the Wi-Fi code for my laptop?’

  ‘Of course. Once I’ve installed a filter on it.’

  ‘For God’s sake, just look at what you’re doing, Dad! You’re like the bloody Gestapo or something. This is so wrong, don’t you see that?’

  ‘I’m trying to keep you safe, Connor,’ Daryl told him. ‘Now, why don’t you come sit in the living room and watch something on my tablet while I go out and get some food? I’ve got some more Monty Python. You’ll love Life of Brian, it’s the best thing they ever did.’

  ‘Not a chance.’ Connor thrust the phone into his pocket. ‘This is the last time I’m ever going to speak to you, all right? You can force me to live here, but you can’t force me to talk to you and you can’t ever make me stop hating you.’

  He closed the door in his father’s face.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  When Theo had hung up, Lexie threw aside her phone and fell back onto Connor’s bed, giving in to the gasping sobs she could no longer control.

  For the first hour after Daryl had walked out with Connor, a deathly calm had settled on her. She’d tried to stay focused. First, she’d done an internet search for solicitors specialising in family law, but the legalese on their websites had made her already aching head spin. The repeated phrase she kept coming across on different family law sites – ‘a stepparent has no legal custody rights’ – made her feel sick to her stomach.

  Eventually she decided that hiring a lawyer was something she would have to come back to when she’d spoken to those of her friends who might be able to advise her. Desperately needing to be doing something practical, she’d gone up to Connor’s room to pack some of his things for the hopefully short period he’d be staying with his dad. Useful things, but things that might give him comfort too. Things to remind him of home, and of her.

  She’d been fine, still in calm and practical mode, until she’d gone to his bookshelf. On it she found an old storybook that had belonged to Lexie as a child. She’d taken it out to put in Connor’s case, but instead found herself staring at it, stroking it; remembering.

  It had been her first gift to the little boy after she’d started seeing Daryl, when she’d discovered to her shock that her new boyfriend never read to his son. That ought to have been a wake-up call, but the young Lexie had just told herself it was Daryl’s grief that prevented him from reading to Connor. Perhaps Elise had done the bedtime story, and Daryl found it too painful, now, to take over the role. So Lexie had taken over it instead, filling Elise’s place everywhere but in Daryl’s heart, just as she was to do throughout their marriage.

  She turned the book over. The story titles on the back made her lip quiver as she remembered reading each of them to the shy, trusting little curly-haired boy she’d found in her care. ‘Todd the Naughty Farm Cat’ had been Connor’s favourite: the one he’d ask for over and over until he could tell her the story from memory without even needing to open the book. ‘The Dragon Who Loved Ice Cream’ had been another favourite, and any of the ones with magic and wizards, of course.

  But still Lexie had held back her tears, until she’d opened the book and seen the inscription there.

  For Connor. I hope these stories make you as happy as they made me when I was as small as you are. Sunshine for my sunbeam! Lots of love always, Lexie xxx

  Underneath, little Connor had crayoned a drawing: a couple of stick figures holding hands, one tall with a scribble of yellow hair, the other small, curly-topped and grinning. When she’d first seen it, Lexie had thought it was a picture of Connor and Elise. It wasn’t though: she knew that now. Elise’s hair had been brown and wavy, like her son’s. The woman in the picture wasn’t Connor’s mother. It was her.

  That was when the tears came. That was when Lexie had collapsed onto the bed and hidden her face in the pillow, paralysed by hyperventilating sobs for a good ten minutes before, with a trembling hand, she managed to call Theo at the restaurant.

  By the time she heard him walk in, she’d managed to get her tears under control enough to at least breathe properly, although hiccuping sobs still racked her body.

  ‘Up here,’ she called to him. ‘In Connor’s room.’

  He bounded up the stairs and within seconds she was in his arms, sobbing into his chest while he soothed her.

  ‘Sweetheart, what happened?’ he asked.

  ‘He… he took my Connor. He found out about us and… Jesus, Theo, he’s had some temper tantrums in his day but this was off the chart. When he knew me and you were together, it just brought on this insane jealous rage. He threatened to call the police if I didn’t let him take Connor away with him. Said it was his right as a parent.’

  ‘Seriously? I can’t believe the police would make Connor go with Daryl against his will.’

  ‘He never actually called them. He sounded so sure they’d be on his side though,’ Lexie murmured. ‘He said I don’t have a single legal right when it comes to Connor and he’s right, isn’t he? I’m not his mum, in law or in fact. A parental responsibility agreement isn’t an adoption and it doesn’t give me any rights in the event of an acrimonious separation – that’s what the family law sites I’ve been looking at say. Everything I’ve ever been to Connor has been dependent on Daryl’s goodwill.’

  ‘You’re Connor’s mum in practice, if not in law.’ Theo shook his head angrily. ‘What the hell does Daryl think he’s playing at? Christ, I know he can have a mean streak a mile wide when he’s got a monk on but this is fucking abhorrent. Poor Con must be terrified, being dragged from his home like that.’ He looked at her. ‘How did Daryl find out about us anyway?’

  ‘Connor let it slip,’ she whispered. ‘He didn’t mean to. He was angry when he caught his dad… caught him touching me.’

  Theo frowned. ‘Touching you?’

  ‘Yes, he was holding me – well, he was trying to. I’d told him there was no reconciliation on the cards but he wouldn’t take no for an answer. When Con thought his dad was just using him to get me back, he flew right off the handle.’

  ‘I don’t blame him. Bastard!’

  She looked up at him. ‘Theo… Daryl asked me to choose.’

  ‘What, between me and him?’

  ‘No, between you and Connor. He said he’d let Con stay if I broke it off with you.’ She lowered her voice to a whisper. ‘And I agreed. I’m sorry. Connor was so afraid, and… well, I’m his mum. First and foremost, it’s my job to protect him. Do you forgive me?’

  Theo was silent for a moment, looking down into her tear-swollen face.

  ‘Theo?’ Lexie said.

  ‘Don’t be daft. That’s not something I need to forgive you for,’ he said softly. ‘I’d have been shocked if you’d behaved any differently. I know you’d do anything for that boy. It’s one of the many reasons I love you.’ He planted a tender kiss on her forehead. ‘Do you forgive me?’

  ‘What for?’

  ‘For being a jealous prick. For not trusting you like I obviously ought to do.’ He held her tighter and blinked back a tear. ‘Lexie, sweetheart, I really thought I’d lost you today.’

  ‘Lost me?’ She leaned back to look into his face. ‘Why would you think that?’

  ‘Well, you were so angry, and then you said goodbye like that and stormed off…’

  ‘That’s just a fight, Theo. All couples have fights. Not every argument is a break-up.’

  ‘No. That was… naive of me.’ He frowned. ‘Hang on. If you agreed to break up with me, why did Daryl still take Connor?’

  She lowered her head. ‘Con wouldn’t let me go through with it,’ she whispered. ‘He said he’d rather go with his dad than let me do something he k
new would break my heart. Not in those exact words, but that was the gist of it.’

  ‘God, did he?’ Theo swallowed a sob. ‘That kid.’

  ‘I know.’

  Theo’s gaze landed on a photo of the three of them – himself, Lexie and Connor – in a frame on Connor’s desk. Con must’ve been about nine at the time it was taken, his big brown eyes full of fringe. He was grinning as he stood between them, clutching a bucket and spade and some sort of giant teddy Theo remembered winning for him at the funfair.

  ‘I remember this trip,’ he said, smiling as he reached for it. ‘It’s sweet that he keeps it in his room.’

  ‘He must’ve put it there recently. I never noticed it before.’ Lexie frowned and took it from him. ‘Hang on.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘I know this photo. The guy who ran the donkeys took it for us.’

  ‘So?’

  She opened the frame to take out the photograph. Part of it had been folded back – the part that showed Daryl, standing on her other side.

  ‘Con folded him out of the picture,’ she muttered as she smoothed it out.

  She glanced around the room. There was another framed photo of Lexie with Connor on the day he was invested at Cubs, looking proud in his uniform. The one on the bookcase showed him as a toddler wearing a Christmas-cracker hat, being cuddled by his mum and Tonya. But there wasn’t a single family photo that included his father.

  Theo sighed. ‘Poor messed-up kid. What can we do, Lexie? Have you got a solicitor?’

  ‘Not yet, but I’m going to get one,’ she said, her brow knitting. ‘Will you help me find one? I’ve got no idea what the hell I need but I want legal advice ASAP.’

  ‘Of course I will,’ he said gently, brushing his fingers over her cheek.

  ‘I bookmarked a few family law websites earlier. They all say stepparents have no automatic custody rights but it must be different for me, surely. I brought him up as his mother and I’ve had pretty much total parental responsibility for him since Daryl left the country. That has to count for something.’ She pressed her throbbing temples. ‘Oh God, why didn’t I legally adopt him after I married his dad? Daryl always said he couldn’t see the point, but… shit, I should’ve seen a lawyer about this years ago. It’s all my fault, Teddy.’