Possessive Coach

by B. B. Hamel

  “We shouldn’t go far,” Sara says. “We don’t want to get lost.”

  “I left the lights on.” David glances back. “I can still see them.”

  I follow his gaze and sure enough, the truck’s lights are still visible.

  “Let’s go until they’re harder to see,” I say.

  So we keep stomping along. There’s no path, just a lot of underbrush and thick, tall trees. I don’t know what kind they are, but the forest floor is littered with grass, roots, leaves, sticks, and mud in places. Erik tries to look at a bush and David has to pull him away.

  “Amazing,” Erik says. “So much amazing. It’s all together in one, you know?”

  Sara recoils. “I didn’t know he could talk.”

  “Talking is beyond.” Erik laughs. “Talking is… so beyond.”

  “Come on, beyond,” David grunts.

  “My angels.” Erik sighs.

  The trees begin to get thicker as we move deeper and I lose track of the truck. I hesitate, but we go for another few minutes until we come to a clearing around a large group of rocks. David dumps Erik down at the base of them, and Erik curls into a ball and start to kiss the flat earth.

  “So much energy,” he says.

  We stand there in a semicircle and stare down at the great football player as he licks dirt.

  “What do we do now?” Sara asks.

  “Go back,” David says. He crouches down and shoves some money into Erik’s pocket. He touches the other pocket and nods to himself. “He has his phone. He has some cash now. He’ll be fine.”

  I bite my lip. “Are you sure this’ll work? I mean, if he dies…”

  “He won’t,” David says. “Right, Erik? You won’t go into the street?”

  Erik looks up, eyes wide. “No street,” he says. “I have the oneness here in the forest.”

  “That’s my boy.” David pats his back and stands up. “Come on, let’s go.”

  He walks off. I take one more look at Erik, at pathetic, tripping Erik, and follow David. Sara brings up the rear, and the three of us stomp back to the truck in silence. I step over roots, through leaves and dirt. I stagger through a puddle one time and nearly fall over, but David’s there, holding my arm with a smile on his lips.

  Darkness falls over the forest, but we have the light from the truck to guide us back.

  We come out of the woods as a group. Nobody speaks as we get into the truck. David sits there, holding the wheel, the engine purring. I turn and look back at Sara and she grins at me.

  “Is it fucked up if I’m hungry?” she asks.

  I laugh. I can’t help myself. It’s such a crazy thing to say. We just drugged and kidnapped one of the best football players in the country and left him alone in the woods. It’s so funny and insane and wild and I let the laughter bubble up from my chest.

  David grins at me and joins in. Sara starts laughing too, and the three of us lose it there in the truck.

  Finally, David turns onto the road and heads back in the other direction, back toward town. “I saw a good place back there,” he says. “Dinner on me?”

  “Oh, yeah,” Sara says. “I think I’m down with that.”

  I grin and put my hand on his knee. He smiles at me, takes my hand in his, and we drive into the night.

  21

  David

  I keep waiting for the axe to drop.

  But nothing happens. I drop the girls off at their apartment and head back home. I get upstairs, have a couple drinks, try to play video games to get my mind off shit, but I can’t help worry.

  Leaving Erik out there felt good at the time. I mean, he deserved it, no doubt in my mind. But it was irresponsible and stupid. I’m supposed to be the kid’s coach, and yet I just drugged him and left him for dead.

  No, no, I can’t think like that. He’s not left for dead, just for a very bad time. He’ll struggle and suffer but he’ll survive, and maybe he’ll come out the other side a little bit better.

  Or he’ll come out the other side raging mad. Or dead.

  Fuck.

  I force myself to go to bed after another drink. I toss and turn all night, but I manage to get a few hours of sleep. When I wake up right at sunrise, I text Chloe, not able to help myself.

  Me: Did you hear from him yet?

  I get up, shower off, and there’s a message waiting for me when I come back out.

  Chloe: Not yet. I thought he’d call you first. Or text you. Oh, god, did we fuck up?

  Me: No, it’s fine. I’ll see him at practice. He’s probably just figuring out what to do. It’s going to be okay.

  Chloe: Should I text him? I have his number.

  Me: No. Don’t. Let’s wait it out. Trust me, okay?

  Chloe: I trust you.

  Me: Did you sleep at all?

  Chloe: Maybe a few hours.

  Me: I should’ve had you stay over, I just thought it would be better if we didn’t.

  Me: I didn’t sleep either.

  Chloe: I wish you were here.

  Me: I’ll come see you after practice, okay?

  Chloe: Good. I want to sleep in your bed tonight. Is that bad?

  Me: Not at all.

  I smile and grab breakfast, but I keep one eye on my phone. I expect a message from Erik all morning, but nothing comes.

  Eventually, I force myself to go to campus. I head into the locker room and go right to my office. It’s empty, the whole locker room is empty, and there’s no sign of Erik or of anyone else. As far as I can tell, it’s a totally normal day, and nothing out of the ordinary happened the night before.

  I sit in my little office closet and I wait. A couple hours before practice, I get a text. I grab my phone and stare, but it’s just Frank.

  Frank: Trip soon?

  Me: Definitely.

  Frank: After the drug test though lol!

  I shake my head and toss my phone onto my desk. I don’t know how I’ll get out of that one, but I’ll think of something. I like Frank, I just don’t really want to do acid. I lied about the coke and the mushrooms, although I did smoke a little weed in high school.

  Soon though, the locker room starts to fill up. Guys come in, the other coaches show up, and I’m practically shaking with anticipation. I keep waiting for Hardy to call me into his office to fire me and press charges for endangering the life of a fucking kid. Or maybe I’ll just get arrested on the spot for Erik’s murder.

  Finally, I can’t take it anymore. I get up and storm into the locker room. I look around at the guys and move through the lockers until I come to the back row.

  Sitting on the bench alone is Erik.

  I stand there and stare at him. He doesn’t see me right away. He looks tired and disheveled. He’s pulling on his uniform slowly and stops once to stare at his hands. He blinks his eyes, shakes his head, and finishes getting dressed. He turns and sees me, and nearly jumps out of his shoes.

  “Fuck,” he says.

  “Erik.”

  He frowns at me and squints. “Coach.”

  “Come with me.”

  He hesitates. “Do I, uh, have to?”

  I narrow my eyes. “Get up and come to my office.”

  Erik slowly stands and keeps his head down. He won’t meet my eyes. I walk back to my office and he follows at a distance. People are staring at us, but I don’t care about that. I’m too curious and angry to stop them from watching.

  I sit behind my desk. “Close the door.” Erik shuts it and shuffles over to the chair. He sinks down into it and shuts his eyes for a second before opening them again. He looks away and stares down at his shoes.

  “What do you remember from last night?” I ask.

  “Everything.” He doesn’t look up. “I remember it all.”

  “How’d you get home?”

  “Uber. I think a few hours after you guys left. I started to come down a little bit, enough to think… so I called an Uber. But then I got lost trying to find the road. I only made it because the guy parked and started honki
ng, and I followed the horn. I told him I took drugs and got lost in the woods and he told me stories about taking drugs as a kid. I spent the whole ride back staring at his head because it just kept… moving.”

  I cross my arms and stare at him. Erik still wouldn’t look at me. His eyes were locked on the floor and his whole posture was sunken, like he’d fallen into himself.

  I don’t speak for a long time. I stare at him and finally see the boy that he really is. I see the small, sad, pathetic boy, and I realize I might’ve fucking broken him at long last.

  “Do you know why I did that?” I ask.

  “Because I’m trying to blackmail you,” he says.

  “That’s right. And there’s a drug test coming up.”

  His eyes snap up. “Was that part real? You meant it? You can switch out my piss?”

  “I can,” I say. “But you need to give me something first.”

  “The video.” He leans toward me and I can see the fear. “I’ll give you whatever you want, just please don’t let them test me. If I get caught, I’m done. This isn’t the first drug test I’ve failed.”

  I stare at him, surprised. “I didn’t know about that.”

  “Failed one in high school.” He leans back and stares at the floor again. “Hardy told me if I ever failed one again, he’d kick me off the team, that he doesn’t care how good I am.”

  “Nobody will care,” I say. “Not if you’re a liability. You’re only useful if you keep your mouth shut and win games.”

  Erik nods miserably and doesn’t speak. I stare at him and feel my heart racing. I can’t believe how broken he seems, but it almost makes sense. All that bravado, all that bragging and acting like an asshole, it all has to be a cover for something.

  It’s a cover for this, for this sad little boy I see sitting across from me. His entire identity is wrapped up in football, and without it, he knows he’s worthless. If he can’t throw a ball really far, if he can’t win games, he means nothing as a human being.

  And now I have his entire future, his entire identity, wrapped up in my hands.

  I’m taking his power away.

  “After practice, go home and delete the footage,” I say. “I don’t need you to bring me a copy. Delete it all and text me when you’re done.”

  He nods once. “Fine.”

  “Then I want you to apologize to Chloe. You’ll find her after her tutoring and you’ll tell her you’re sorry for what you did. If anyone ever asks about her, you’ll tell them that she’s a smart, great girl, and you wish you hadn’t blown your chance.”

  “Sure, yeah. I will. I owe her an apology.” He nods eagerly.

  “And finally, you’ll keep this in mind.” I lean toward him. “I drugged you once and it wasn’t that hard. Don’t think I won’t do it again. Next time, I might not drop you off in the woods, but I sure as fucking hell will make sure you fail the test. I will end you, Erik.”

  He meets my gaze. I expect to see anger and defiance.

  I only see pleading.

  “Okay,” he says. “I’ll delete it. I’m done with this. Seriously, I’m really done.”

  “Good.” I lean back in my chair. “Be nice to people. Play football. Wins games. If you step a toe out of line, it’s over for you.”

  “Yes, Coach.”

  “Good. Get up. You’re dismissed.”

  He stands, turns, and leaves my office, a broken husk.

  Eventually, it’ll wear off. I have a feeling he’s still under the influence of the acid. But if he’s smart, he’ll delete that footage and never talk about this again. He might still be a cocky prick, but at least he’ll be a cocky prick that’s not harassing the girl I love.

  I pick up my phone and call her. She answers right away. “Hey,” she says. “Did you see him?”

  “He just left my office.” I smile a little bit and look up at the ceiling. “He’s going to delete the footage. And he’ll be stopping by tomorrow to apologize to you.”

  She lets out a choked sob. I laugh a little. “Are you serious?”

  “I’m serious,” I say. “It’s over, Chloe.”

  She laughs along with me, though I think she might be half crying. I don’t care though, the joy rings through me, and I feel like I’ve finally won something. That little bastard has been harassing my girl, hurting her, and was going to try to ruin us even worse.

  Now though, it’s all over. We can finally move on.

  I kick up my feet and let the smile drift across my face like leaves in the wind.

  22

  Chloe

  I lean back in my chair and look across the room at the large white and black industrial clock as the second hand glides across its face. I bounce my knee a little bit to myself and wonder if maybe, just maybe, our little Erik problem hasn’t been solved. There are five minutes left in my tutoring session, and although nobody showed up, I’ve been patiently waiting.

  When David called the night before, relief flooded through me. I thought that finally, finally, we’d figured it out. Finally, Erik was going to get what he deserved and he’d leave me alone.

  Maybe I was wrong.

  Both my knees start bouncing and I can feel a bead of sweat begin to drip down my back. Maybe Erik was faking it, and he wasn’t showing contrition at all. Maybe this was a ruse, and we’re fucked, and I’m going to jail, and David’s going to get fired, and—

  I look up as the doors to the tutoring room open. Erik pokes his head inside and looks around before spotting me. My heart leaps in my chest as he enters the room wearing a pair of khaki cargo shorts and a CU football team t-shirt. He walks over and gives me a hesitant smile, and I almost don’t recognize him without the shit-eating grin.

  “Hey,” he says.

  “Hey.”

  He hesitates. “Did you, uh, talk to David?”

  I nod. “I did.”

  “Cool. Cool.” He lingers near the table and gestures at the chair. “Can I sit down?”

  “Go ahead.” I cross my arms. “But I’m almost done here.”

  “Cool, good, yeah. I mean, I just need a second.” He drops his backpack on the floor and sits. He stares at me for a second then looks away. “Look, Chloe. What I did to you was fucked up.”

  “Yeah, it was,” I say softly.

  “I shouldn’t have touched you. Coach was right to hit me for that.”

  “But that wasn’t all you did.”

  He winces. “Nah. I mean, the printouts and the banner and the phone call, that shit was me too. I felt betrayed and angry and I was being a petty asshole. I shouldn’t have done it, and I’m sorry.”

  “I’m sorry we toilet papered your house.”

  He hesitates. “Nah. I deserved that.”

  “Okay then. I’m sorry we drugged you and left you alone in the woods.”

  He smiles a little bit and stares at the floor for a long moment without speaking. Then he looks up again. “I’m kind of glad you did it, to be honest.”

  I raise an eyebrow. “That’s… weird.”

  “I know. But I think I had an experience that night. Like, a really profound experience. I still feel it lingering, you know what I mean? Like I can still feel everything around me.” He lets out a breath. “I know it’s stupid and weird.”

  “I’ve never taken acid before,” I say. “So I can’t really relate.”

  “Well, anyway, Coach says he’ll take care of me and won’t get me kicked off football, which is good. And I’m deleting that footage of you guys. So I’m sorry for blackmailing you, and I’ll leave you all alone. I just want to play football and keep my nose clean.”

  “Good for you,” I say and smile a little bit. “Hey, who knows, if you actually work hard at football and don’t think too much about fucking around, you might make the pros.”

  He laughs. “Damn right I will.” He stands and grabs his bag. He walks toward the door then stops and turns. “I really am sorry. I just felt stupid. I liked you, you know?”

  “That’s okay,” I
say. “I mean, it’s not okay, but whatever. It’s okay if people don’t like you back, it doesn’t mean you’re… less, or whatever.”

  “Yeah. I guess so.” He takes a breath. “Anyway. See you around.” He walks out the door and I let myself smile.

  I really, really hope I don’t see him around at all.

  I stand and start gathering my stuff. When I’m packed and about to head out, the door opens again. I get a jolt of panic, afraid it’s Erik returning to take everything back. But instead, it’s David, wearing his usual slacks and team polo. I feel my heart leap in my chest.

  “Did he show?” he asks.

  I nod and run over to him. I throw my arms around his neck and he laughs then kisses me. We kiss slow and deep, and I savor his lips, his tongue.

  “Well,” he says, voice soft. “I guess that worked.”

  “He apologized. Said he was sort of happy we drugged him? I don’t know. He seemed different.”

  David nods. “I know. I saw it too.”

  “Think it’ll last?”

  “No,” he admits. “But I think he’ll find some other target when he eventually comes back to himself.”

  “I guess that means we got away with it.”

  “And I hope I never have to drug a player ever again.”

  I kiss him and when I pull back, he stares into my eyes. “I love you,” he says. “You realized that already though, didn’t you?”

  I bite my lip. I did realize it. I knew it the second he kissed me, I could see it in his eyes, but I wasn’t sure. “I love you too,” I say, breathless, wild with excitement and need.

  He pulls me tight and kisses me deep again, letting it linger.

  I stay in that kiss for as long as I can. I want to stay in it forever if I can.

  I don’t know how I found him. We stumbled on each other in a terrible situation, but from that moment we managed to grow something new and better. If I get to have my David, if I get to be his, then I’d say it was all worth it.