Oh wow, I don't know what to say, that is the nicest thing I've ever heard. I melt into him. “This is the last chance, James, you lie to me again it's done. I can't keep doing this to myself."
"I promise you, beautiful, that's never going to happen. I'm not risking losing you." He kisses my forehead and I lie against him, drained from all the arguing and worrying. I close my eyes and rest against him, he lifts his legs and lies down, making us both comfortable.
I hear ringing in the distance and I stir. I feel foggy, opening my eyes I see that I'm on the couch, lying down. I must have fallen asleep. Shit, I wonder what time it is.
"She's asleep. Did you find her?" I hear James' hushed tone and I sit up. Who's he talking too? "Okay, did she sign the document?"
Oh, he must be talking to Matthew. He's in the Lake District already? Did he fly?
A smile forms on James' face. “Fuck, thank God for that. I wasn't sure if she would or not." His eyes on me and he frowns before giving me a smile.
I'm disappointed and disgusted, she's signed her rights away. She never deserved Amelia and my heart breaks for that poor baby. She deserves so much fucking more than having that bitch as a mother. I can't wrap my head around the fact she's signed her rights away. What on earth would cause someone to do that? How could you do that? I can't comprehend it. It would be different if she was never a mother to Amelia but she was. Up until Christmas she had been devoted to that baby, by all accounts, the best mum that she could be.
"Okay, I'll see you in the morning," James tells him and hangs up. "You heard?" I nod. “Why are you upset?"
I shrug. “I don't know, I mean I'm glad that Amelia's safe but I don't get how Valerie could just sign her rights away. It makes no sense."
He comes and sits beside me. “I know, beautiful, and maybe I should be wondering why she's made a complete one-eighty when it comes to Amelia but I honestly can't. I'm happy she's out of our lives. We never have to deal with her again." He's so happy.
I instantly feel bad that I'm not as happy as he is. The cow that made his life miserable for so long, who laid her hands on him, who hurt him in ways I'll never know, is finally gone. I should be happy; I should be over the moon that the man I love won't ever have to see her. I am, but there's a huge part of me that's worried about Amelia and how she's going to take this when she's old enough to understand that not only did her mum leave her for days on ends but gave her up. That is going to hurt and I pray that she'll come to us, that she'll let us help her heal.
"I'm happy for you, James; glad that she's not going to be able to mess with you anymore." I lean forward and kiss him.
"You know, that's one of the reasons I love you." I frown, what's he talking about? "Anyone else would be ecstatic that she's out of their lives, happy they no longer have to deal with her bitchiness but not you. You're sitting here with worry and sadness wishing she was still in our lives as that means she'd still be in Amelia's." He knows me too well. “You're the most compassionate person I know, you always put everyone else first."
"Sometimes, James, it's what's needed. Other times, it's because I need to focus on something else besides myself and what I'm dealing with. Right now, I feel bad because an innocent baby has been given up as though she means nothing."
He smiles at me. “That's what I'm talking about, it's what makes you one in a million. I meant what I said earlier, Steffy, I'm not going to hurt you again. I need you in my life and I'm never going to ruin us."
"Okay, James." I want to believe him, and part of me does, it's just he said he wouldn't lie to me again and he did. I'm worried that I'm making the same mistake yet again.
"Trust me," he says leaning over and kissing me. That's the problem, I don't know if I do trust him right now. Pulling away he informs me, "Matt will be over tomorrow morning, he wants to tell us what's happened with Valerie."
"Okay. Maybe he might be able to tell us why she did it." I’m hoping I’ll be able to find some reason as to why she’s done this.
"Maybe." He kisses my head and I rest against him, I'm still tired. “How about I run you a bath and you can relax while I make some dinner?" He's being sweet and I love it.
"No bath, I'll have a shower; it might wake me up a bit. I won't be long." James helps me up off the couch. “I want Chinese," I tell him as I reach the door.
"Okay, I'll order it." He shakes his head knowing full well what I want. It's what I always want from there. Sweet and sour chicken balls and egg fried rice.
Chapter Twenty
I wake up with my hands roaming James. I look over at him, he's not asleep, he's enjoying my wandering hands; a smirk on his lips gives the fact he's awake away. I decide it's time to play with him, moving my hand down towards his boxers I begin to lightly run my nails across his skin. Hearing the harsh intake of breath only spurs me on. Going further down I reach inside his boxers and start to jerk him off.
"Fuck," he bites out, thrusting to match my movements. "God, Stef, you're killing me."
I stop jerking him off, and start stripping out of my pyjamas, as he pulls off his boxers. "What a way it would be to go though," I tease, crawling over to him, he flips onto his back. He knows what I want. I position myself over him. Slowly, ever so slowly, I lower myself down onto him. Loving the groan that comes out of him when he's fully inside of me.
He lets me set the rhythm, not wanting to go too hard while I'm six and a half months pregnant. No matter how much I beg he won't go any harder than a gentle thrust. His hands start to roam my body, sending goosebumps throughout my body. As soon as his hands touch my nipples I lose it. I start grinding against him, knowing that I'm close to the edge and desperate to reach it.
"James," I whine breathlessly.
"Beautiful," he replies as his fingers go directly towards my clit.
"Coooey, James? Stefanie?"
I freeze, what the hell?
"Shit, is that my mother?" James asks looking horrified.
"Yes, please tell me she has a really big mouth and that she's not in our house?" I plead with him. But I already know the answer, I can hear her footsteps as she walks upstairs.
"Shit." He pushes me off him and jumps up looking for his boxers.
"Want to tell me how the hell your mum got into the house?" I whisper-shout at him as I move awkwardly trying to find some clothes to put on.
"Ummm." I turn and glare at him, what the hell has he done? "I gave her a spare key."
I round the bed and stand toe to toe with him. “I'm sorry. You did what?"
"What's the big deal? It's for emergencies."
"You gave the key to my house to your mother. Does it look like there's a bloody emergency?" I'm fuming right now. No one, other than James and me have the key. But he thinks it's acceptable to give it to his mum?
"Stef."
I hold my hand up. "Don't want to hear it. Now go and stop her from barging into my bedroom." I push him towards the door. “I can't believe you. Why the hell are they here so early anyway?"
"I don't know, why are you so mad?"
Ugh, it's like talking to a brick wall with him. “Do you know how many people have had a key to this house?" He shakes his head. “Four. Me, you, Pen, even though she's only used it once and I got it back off her when you moved in. And now you gave one to your mum."
"Wait, Jess doesn't have one?"
I pull on my knickers. “No. This is my home, my sanctuary, the one place that I can be myself and be at ease. So, thank you for ruining it." I turn away from him and get dressed.
"Stef."
"No, just because you're a mummy's boy doesn't mean you get to make me be around her constantly. This isn't me, this clingy, closeness you all have. It freaks me the hell out. You have to realise I don't have a family. So this, to me, is weird and I'm uncomfortable. You giving her a key to let herself into my house anytime she wants make me so fucking mad."
"Stef, I didn't realise." He walks up to me and I know… I just know that his mum is standing on the
other side of our door, no doubt listening to us.
"Why would you?" I'm being bitchy but right now I'm angry and I'm hungry.
"Stef, fuck." He pulls me into his arms. “Why am I always fucking up?"
"Because you don't think. Now go and remove your mum from my door." I give him a pointed look and he smiles at me, that bloody smile disarms me all the time.
He opens the door and I was right, standing there not looking a bit ashamed that she's been caught eavesdropping. "Did I interrupt something?"
And because I'm now in a bitchy mood, I reply, "Yeah, your son was trying to see if he could get his son out."
I hear laughter coming from downstairs and I inwardly groan. I should have known, they're like wolves, they come in packs.
"Stefanie, I apologise, I never for one second thought about how this craziness you've found yourself in could be a bit over the top and overwhelming. I hope that you'll get used to us, but until then, we'll try small doses," Sylvie tells me looking at James with an evil eye.
"I'm sorry, I feel like a bitch." I'm about to cry. Why am I so bitchy today?
"No, you're not a bitch, you're truthful. James should speak to you before doing things." She's telling him off and I try my best not to laugh. "Your father's doing breakfast. So, let's not keep him waiting."
I don't smell anything, so I wonder what he's making? As we walk down the stairs James is behind me and I'm going to kill him; he keeps touching my arse. Walking into the kitchen I see Thomas sitting down with a cup of tea, no food in sight so I'm confused. Sylvie got my hopes up and now they're dashed.
"Don't worry, Stef, Lisa's gone to get us something." Sylvie pats my hand, no doubt seeing the disappointment on my face. I have my fingers crossed that she's gone to Greggs. I'd love one or five of their sausage rolls right about now. "How about we get you both a cuppa and Matthew can explain what happened." Sylvie ushers us out of the kitchen and into the sitting room.
James pulls me towards the armchair, and when he sits down I sit on his lap. Fuck, looking at everyone in my sitting room it looks tiny. Sylvie and Thomas sit on the couch and Matthew sits on the armchair with Amelia asleep in her car seat at his feet. God knows where Lisa's going to sit when she comes back.
"Yesterday was a day for revelations," Matthew begins and I grip James' hand, already disliking where this is going.
"Arrived at the house she is staying in, fancy as hell, the guy she's staying with is old, I'd say around Dad's age maybe a bit younger."
Eww, that's just nasty.
"Watch who you're calling old," Thomas jokes and Sylvie shushes him.
"She wanted to know what I was doing there so I told her; I want full custody of Amelia. Do you know what she did?" he asks and he's getting himself worked up over it. "She laughed in my face. She said that I already have it, that's why Amelia's with me."
"What? What the hell is she playing at?" James asks getting mad too.
"She's pregnant. The old guy is Amelia's father and he doesn't want kids so they both signed their rights over." He's smiling ear to ear. I'm really pleased for him but I still don't understand why she gave Amelia up.
"Why? Why did she do it?" Sylvie asks the question that's been on my mind.
"Apparently, she loves the guy. So that means getting rid of the children. She's planning on having an abortion with the one she's carrying." Matthew tries to explain but to me it's just excuses; you never choose a guy over your kids ever.
Sylvie shakes her head in disgust. “Thankfully, they don't want the babies. Can you imagine if they did? We wouldn't see Amelia ever again."
I lean back against James, I couldn't even imagine not being with my baby. James’ hands reach out for my bump and he holds it, not saying anything although it speaks a thousand words.
"So, it's done?" I ask just as Amelia starts to stir.
"It's done. Amelia is solely mine." I don't think he could be any happier. He reaches forward and unclips Amelia from her car seat and pulls her into his arms. His eyes are filled with pure love and devotion. I hope when I have our baby that my eyes look like Matthew’s when I look into his eyes.
Knocking at the door pulls my eyes from Matthew. “I'll get it," Thomas tells us getting up of the couch. It'll be Lisa with breakfast and right now I could eat a horse.
The smell of sausage rolls wafts through the house and I'm sitting upright within seconds causing James to laugh.
Lisa walks in with a carrier bag filled with goodies from Greggs. “I come bearing gifts, Stef. James texted me and said you’d eat about ten of these. I didn’t believe him but I did buy some extra.” She pulls out a bag from the carrier bag and hands it to me.
I’m so excited, I’m practically jumping with joy. I open the bag and see she got me six of them. I dig in straight away. Damn, these are good.
“Are you going to move?” James asks Matthew. I don’t even know where Matthew or Lisa live. I assumed Lisa lives with her parents, but I could be wrong.
“Yeah, the flat isn’t a great place to have buggies and shit. I’ve been looking at houses for a while, but I’ve yet to see one I like.” Matthew rummages through Amelia’s changing bag and pulls out one of those premade formula bottles.
“My house is empty, if you want it?” James says casually as though he’s not offering up a million-pound house.
“Bloody hell, James!” Poor Matthew is speechless. “Are you sure? Shouldn’t you discuss it first?” I love that he thinks that, but this is James’ house. He can do what he likes with it and I think giving it to Matthew and Amelia is the perfect solution.
“Stef will no doubt agree with me. It’s sitting empty at the moment; I never did get around to putting it up for rent.” We’ve been so busy that it was the last thing on either of our minds.
“Thanks.” Matt sounds choked up, looking over at him I see his eyes are watery. I pretend that I haven’t seen it and continue to eat my sausage rolls.
“James, are you and Stefanie going to Tim and Gary’s reception next month?” Sylvie asks as she looks at her phone.
“I completely forgot.” I turn and smile at him; my favourite client is finally having a party to celebrate his and his husband’s marriage. “What?” he asks looking confused.
“We’re going. I haven’t seen Tim in a while.” I’m practically bouncing on his lap. I’m that excited.
“You know Tim and Gary?” James questions me and I realise that we’ve not really spoken about my clients before.
“Yes,” I say cautiously. Even though they are gay, I don’t want an argument because he’s jealous a friend of his hired me too.
“Aren’t they lovely? That mother of Tim’s. God, I hate her with a passion. What type of mother isn’t encouraging of their children, no matter what they may like.” Sylvie is genuinely a nice person, she cares about people and it’s definitely passed down to her children.
“Do you have something to wear? I need to get a new suit.” I think that’s his subtle hint for his family to leave. “Matt, I’ll give you the keys to the house before you leave.” Tapping my leg, he wants me to move.
“I need something to wear, I need something nice.” I get up off his lap and wait for him to get up off the chair. As soon as he does I’m sitting down again and stuffing my face. I’ve only two sausage rolls left to eat. I will not be defeated.
“Okay, we’ll go out soon and get them.” He walks into the kitchen, no doubt to get the keys for Matt. He’s being really abrupt in making them leave; I’m sure if he wanted them to go he could just ask.
Twenty minutes later and they’ve gone and so have my sausage rolls. James chirped up a bit and was friendly when they were leaving but as soon as they left he went into the shower. I can hear it running and I’m at a loss to what caused him to change. One minute he was happy, the next, he’s a twat. I swear that men PMS too and they do it worse than we do.
Walking upstairs, I start getting dressed. I’ll shower when we’re home. These days just walking makes me
all sweaty. I’m putting on a maternity dress I bought in Primark when the shower turns off; it doesn’t take long for him to come out of the bathroom. “Stef…” he calls as he enters the room.
I turn my head to him. “Yeah?”
“How do you know Tim?” Oh, this is what’s up his arse. He’s mad that I know one of his friends.
“Tim was a client.”
“Why the hell was he a client?” he bites out. What the hell is he mad for?
“Because his mother is a piece of work and hates the fact he is gay. So, he did everything he could to please her and he hired me so it made it look like he was straight. Nothing happened, and the fact that you think something did; shows just how much of an arse you really are.” I stomp over to the wardrobe and pull out a pair of shoes. Disappointed that he thinks that.
“I didn’t think anything happened. I didn’t know that you had clients that were friends of mine.”
I groan. “Look, most of my clients brought me to galas and other posh events. No doubt you’ll know most of them.”
His deep intake of breath is an indication he’s about to go off on one. Deciding that I need to be sitting down to hear this, I move to the bed and put my feet up, hoping this isn’t going to turn into an argument.
“Stef, what the hell? Can you imagine what they’re going to be thinking?” He’s upset, at least he’s not mad.
“You knew I was an escort before we started dating, it’s how we met, so don’t start this shit.”
“I know, I guess I never really thought about it properly.” He sits down beside me and reaches out for my leg, as soon as his fingers connect he squeezes my calf.
“Is that why you practically ran your parents out of the house?” Nodding he gives me a wary smile. “It was rude, you owe them an apology.”
“I know, I just kept picturing you with other men.” His insecurities are showing, no doubt he’s remembering what cow-face did to him.
The Scandals of Life Page 18