Unspoken Fears (The Unspoken Love Series Book 4)

by H. P. Davenport

  A loud knock, then the door to my condo opens. My mom walks in with my father following behind.

  When my mom sees Brandon, a huge smile appears on her face. “Come here. Give this old woman a hug. I’ve missed you.”

  Brandon pulls my mom into a hug, her arms circling his waist. He leans down, kissing the top of her head. “I’ve missed you, too.”

  My mom pulls back, placing her hand on his chest. “You get better looking every time I see you.”

  Brandon’s cheeks turn a crimson red. “Thank you.”

  “Has any particular woman made you settle down yet?” my mom asks, being her subtle self.

  Shaking his head. “Not yet. Still single.”

  Every time my mom is around Brandon, she interrogates him about his dating life. Are you dating anyone? Do you think you’ll ever settle down? Do you want a family one day? Will your career always be your number one priority? Brandon is like another son to my parents since he’s been in my life for years.

  “There’s nothing wrong with being single,” my father interjects while grabbing a bottle of water out of my refrigerator.

  “I’m not saying there is, dear. I was simply asking the boy some questions,” my mom shoots my father a look.

  My father walks toward the door, opening it. “Okay, ladies, let’s get this show on the road. We have some money to raise tonight.”

  Gathering my clutch, I follow my father to the door. Before exiting, I turn to Brandon. “Call my cell if you need anything. I’ll have it on me at all times.”

  He arches his brow at me. “Leah will be fine. She’s sleeping. I can handle her.”

  Deep down I know Leah will be fine with him, but this is the first time I’m leaving her with someone other than my parents. Brandon puts his hand under my chin, turning my face toward him. “Have fun,” he leans down, whispering in my ear. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. Brandon wiggles his brows suggestively, then

  lifts his finger and taps the tip of my nose. “Be safe.”

  Smacking his chest, “You’re such an ass.”

  My parents walk out of my condo, leaving Brandon and me alone. Turning to make sure they can’t hear me, I turn back to Brandon. “If something does happen with Christian, I want you to know I don’t take any of this lightly. This is a huge step for me, regardless of what happens.”

  Brandon walks over, pulling me into a hug. “You don’t have to explain yourself or your actions to me,” he whispers into my ear. “We all want you to be happy. So if you want to fuck the man, knock your socks off. Use what I slipped in the pocket of your purse.”

  Pulling away, I smack Brandon’s chest. “There’s something wrong with you.”

  “You love me still.”

  I nod. “Yes, I do.”

  The Grand Ballroom swirls with a sea of people. Women wearing formal gowns and men in black tuxedos. Gloved waiters walk around the room serving crystal flutes of champagne on trays while others offer hors d'oeuvres. My eyes bounce around, cataloging all the faces. The one face I’m looking for, I don’t see. Nervously, I run my thumb along my pointer finger in circular motions, a habit I inherited from my father. My parents stand next to me as my father speaks to a real estate broker, who also happens to be one of the sponsors tonight.

  “Is he here?” My mom leans in and asks quietly.

  “I don’t see him.” I lift the flute to my lips, finishing the rosé which was offered to me by a young gentleman walking around the room. The wine has a touch of strawberry, tangerine, and peaches. It’s quite fresh, dry, and bright with crisp acidity.

  “I’ll be right back, I’m going to grab another glass of wine from the bar. Do you want anything?”

  She shakes her head. “Not yet, dear.”

  My heels click on the hardwood floor as I make my way to the bar in the far corner of the ballroom.

  The room is decorated eloquently in a Parisian theme. The decorators did a magnificent job pulling everything together. The color scheme is gold and black with splashes of silver. It is beautiful yet screams elegance. A stage is set up at the far end of the room, with a band playing jazz music. As part of Jamie’s sponsorship, Side Effects is performing tonight. I’m excited to see them perform again.

  The moment Christian enters the room I know. The hair on the back of my neck stands and butterflies take flight in my belly. I heard him before I saw him. His laugh is deep and rich. Turning to find him, his eyes meet mine.

  He stands at the door surrounded by a large group of people. Some I recognize, some I don’t. His father stands next to him with a beautiful woman’s hand linked in the curve of his elbow. Her dark hair is pulled up, accenting her neck and the diamond necklace laying on her chest. Her dress is a classic black lace gown. It’s elegantly form fitting with a ruched waistband. The scalloped neckline and sleeves add unique detailing. I can only assume she is Christian’s mother.

  Jamie has his arm wrapped around the waist of the beautiful woman he sang to at Aces. She must be Camryn, Christian’s twin sister.

  Camryn’s gown is breathtaking with its solid black high halter neckline. The tight bodice of the dress accents her small waist. The pleated floral-print skirt is black with large blush floral designs with a high-low hem.

  Shifting sideways, Christian’s eyes meet mine. He shoves his hands into the pockets of his pants. His eyes glisten in the darkness of the room. He leans down, speaking into his sister’s ear. He nods his head toward me and begins a slow stride to where I am standing.

  When our eyes meet and I look at Christian, I know he has to power to steal my heart. Hell, he already managed to take the breath from my lungs as I watch him close the distance between us.

  When he reaches me, he places his arm around my waist, pulling my body against his.

  “You look stunning,” he whispers in my ear. The heat of his breath against my exposed neck causes goosebumps to blanket my skin. The smell of his cologne intoxicates me, causing my head to spin. Why does he have this effect on me?

  I glance away, then shyly look back at him.

  “Thank you. You look amazing as well.” My hand touches the side of his face, fingers grazing his strong jaw. His face reflects a few days of hair growth.

  “I like the stubble.”

  He lifts his hand to his chin, rubbing his new whiskers. “I wasn’t sure if you were going to like it. But now that I know you do, maybe I’ll keep it.”

  “It suits you. Makes you sexier.”

  “Sexy, you say. I knew you liked me,” he teases.

  “You know you’re sexy, stop fishing for compliments.”

  “I don’t know how I am going to be able to mingle tonight knowing every single man in this place is going to have their eyes on you.”

  “I think you’re exaggerating.” I lift two fingers, showing a little space between them. “Just a tad.”

  Christian’s hand reaches and his thumb tenderly caresses my cheek. His eyes reveal more than his words can express. His thumb then brushes along the column of my throat. Something so simple, just a touch, awakens my entire body.

  He leans down, pressing his lips to mine, caressing my mouth more than kissing it. My lips part and our breaths mingle. He tastes like cinnamon. My heart flutters and I quiver at the sweet tenderness of his kiss.

  Christian brushes his lips against mine again, teasing me for the briefest moment with his tongue before he steps back and lets me go.

  I need air. I feel like I can’t breathe. All of a sudden the ballroom becomes stuffy, filled with too many people.

  “I’m going to step outside for a moment,” I whisper to Christian.

  “Lead the way,” he replies.

  I smile at the familiar faces as I make my way to the open French doors that lead to the terrace. Christian’s hand guides me toward the door. Tears tremble behind my eyelids. Once I reach the spacious veranda, I take a deep breath, filling my lungs with fresh air. Walking toward the stone
wall overlooking the City skyline, I brace my hands on the ledge.

  Christian’s arms wrap around my waist, holding my back securely against his chest. “Are you okay?

  “I needed a minute.” I swallow hard, holding back tears.

  It’s quiet, other than the soothing song playing in the background in the ballroom.

  He takes two ragged breaths. “A minute away from me, or just a minute,” his hoarse voice breaks the silence. “Should I not have followed you out here?”

  I attempt to swallow the knot forming in my throat. Do I answer honestly? Do I tell him it felt right when he kissed me in front of my peers at a gala my work is hosting? Do I tell him about Keith? About Leah? As much as I enjoy being with Christian, I feel guilty for not being honest with him. I know what we have is fresh. But how far do I let this go without telling him about my daughter? Guilt is beginning to eat at me.

  “Just a minute.” I pull away from Christian and turn to face him. I wipe beneath my eyes with my fingers, clearing the few tears from my cheeks. “Christian, when you kiss me, it feels right. I’m honestly not sure if I should embrace it or run from it.”

  He looks at me curiously. His gaze flicks from my eyes, to my lips, then back to my eyes.

  “I won’t hurt you.”

  “I hope you don’t.”

  I turn back around, facing the skyline. Christian envelops me close to his chest. We remain quiet for a few moments.

  “Meet me inside. I’ll be the one who can’t keep my eyes off you.”

  I excuse myself to the ladies’ room to freshen up.

  Once refreshed, I return to the ballroom to find Christian leaning against the bar, an easy smile touching his lips as he listens to the gentleman speaking next to him. I’m halfway across the ballroom when he notices me walking toward him. The entire time, he steals frequent glances my way, trying not to be rude to the man speaking to him but obviously he’s checked out of the conversation.

  Christian throws his arm around my shoulders, pulling me in for a kiss. The moment our lips touch, the world vanishes around me. With that one kiss, I knew I was in too deep. I knew I was in trouble. Christian has the ability to make me want. Make me forget. Make me desire more.

  Someone clears their throat next to us. I pull away from Christian, my fingers caressing my swollen lips. Christian smirks, leaning down to kiss my lips softly again.

  He leans back, gesturing between myself and the beautiful brunette I recognize from Aces. The woman Jamie was singing to.

  “Camryn, this is Rory. Rory, this is my not-so-subtle twin sister.”

  Camryn holds her hand out. With a shaky hand, I take it. “Hi, nice to meet you, “she says and turns to her brother, smiling.

  “Nice to meet you, as well,” I say nervously. I knew Christian’s sister would be attending the gala tonight. I should have known our paths would cross, especially since I’d already met his father.

  Camryn points to her left. “This is my best friend Morgan.” She points to the good-looking guy standing to Christian’s right. He has striking ocean blue eyes, and his dark blond hair styled perfectly. “That there is Lincoln. Lincoln owns Aces where Jamie plays, and Morgan runs their club, Redemption.”

  Morgan throws her arms around me, squeezing me in the process. “Nice to meet you. You must be a keeper if Christian is introducing you to us,” she whispers in my ear.

  When she releases me, I turn to look at Christian. He shoots Morgan a look. “What did you say to her?” he asks annoyed.

  She bats her eyes at him. “Nothing. I welcomed her to the group.”

  A little laugh escapes me. Lifting my hand to Christian’s chest. “Relax, she didn’t say anything bad.”

  Christian takes my hand from his chest and entwines our fingers. “When did you become the welcoming committee?”

  “I’ve always been, you just failed to notice…maybe that’s because you never bring any females around.”

  “Keep those lips sealed or else, woman,” Lincoln says to Morgan, shooting her a look.

  “Ohhhh, I’m shaking in my heels. The big, bad Lincoln Gates is telling me to keep quiet. That’s funny.” She closes the distance between them, cups his cheeks and places a seductive kiss on his lips.

  “Damn, woman,” Lincoln mutters.

  Another girl steps toward me and extends her hand, “Hi, I’m Karsen. Nice to meet you.”

  I take her hand in mine. “Hi, I’m Rory.”

  She steps back next to Camryn. “Christian said you work at Kravis Children’s Hospital. I’m at Mt. Sinai. I’m a nurse in the emergency room.”

  “That’s great. I love the nurses I work with. They welcomed me at the hospital when I first arrived. They’re the ones who drug me out to Aces where I saw your husband perform,” I say to Camryn.

  Our conversation is cut short when Jamie steps onto the stage. “Hello, everyone. My name is Jamie, and this is my band, Side Effects. You’ve had your share of jazz music and show tunes from the amazing and talented Star Lights, and now we’re going to get things moving with a little rock ‘n roll. Let’s get your blood pumping and your fingers itching to bid in the silent auction so we can raise some money for the kids. My eyes are on the week in Florence that someone was so gracious to donate, so whatever you do, get into a bidding war with me so we can surpass last year’s fundraising efforts.”

  Drums begin lightly thumping along with a few keystrokes on a piano. “Are you ready?” Jamie asks the crowd.

  I know this song. It’s one of the thousands on my iPod. Jamie sings Drown by Brian Dalton. The song begins slowly and when the percussion comes in strong, the intensity of the beat picks up.

  Brian Dalton's song starts with a line about a couple treading water, yet one will still make the other drown. This is exactly what Christian and I are doing. He is going to make me drown. But in a good way. Not how I was drowning when I lost Keith. When the music stops, my heart begins to pound.

  Christian slips a hand around the right side of my neck, and rubs his thumb across my neck, his body flush against my back.

  When the guitar and bass increase in the song, my pulse races. By the second verse, my feet thump along the tiled floor as the rhythm of the song builds.

  “You know this song,” Christian leans in close to my ear. My body begins to move to the beat. Taking his hand in mine, I lead him to the dance floor. His sister and the two girls she introduced me to join us. It doesn’t take long for the dance floor to become filled with people.

  Jamie’s raspy voice fills the ballroom. Christian takes my hand, pulling my body close to his as he moves to the beat. This man can dance.

  The lyrics fit my current situation with Christian. The two of us stand inside the fire, I’m just praying neither of us get burned.

  We pause, looking into each other’s eyes. I swallow and hold my breath. His eyes search mine and he leans into me, his lips drawing near, my lips parting in anticipation of the kiss.

  He stops inches away, his eyes drift to my lips as though he is savoring this moment.

  “You’re coming home with me tonight.” He smiles wickedly, showing his pearly whites.

  “You sure?” I press.

  “I’m positive.” He looks directly in my eyes, steadfast.

  An all-too-familiar beat begins to play, immediately I know the song. My father played this all the time when I was a little girl. If it wasn’t Journey, Genesis, or Eric Clapton, it was my mother playing Rod Stewart, or Barbara Streisand.

  Jamie takes off his tux jacket, tossing it on a chair near the side of the stage and begins to roll up his sleeves as the tempo starts. He reaches for the microphone, removing it from the stand, then Jamie’s voice is flawless as he sings the opening lyrics of the song Separate Ways by Journey and the dance floor is packed with a sea of people.

  Jamie sings the chorus and almost the entire place sings along with him. All the people on the dance floor are moving to the beat, waving their hands in the air, swaying their hips. You wo
uld think you were at a Journey concert, rather than a gala to raise money for our hospital.

  Nurses and doctors who are about my age take the hands of some of the older guests, leading them to the dance floor. It reminds of the closing performance in Dirty Dancing when Johnny and Baby dance together closing out the season. Side Effects perform for about an hour, while Christian and I placed our bets on items in the silent auction. Christian made sure to write his name and bid on the week in a villa in Florence, the one his brother-in-law specifically said he wanted. When I asked him why he would bet on it if he knew Jamie wanted it, he shrugged his shoulders and said, “I’m competitive, why not have some fun with it and raise even more money because that asshole will come over and write down the winning bid at the very end.”

  After saying our goodbyes, Christian and I leave hand in hand. I didn’t miss the look my parents gave me when they saw me take off with him.

  When the elevator door closes, Christian pins me with his predatory eyes. Slowly, he stalks toward me, caging me against the wall. My pulse begins to race when he cups me through my gown, causing my pussy to ache. He captures my hands in his, lifting them above my head, my body arching against the elevator wall.

  “I’m going to make you scream my name till your voice is hoarse tonight,” he hisses.

  His teeth capture my lower lip gently and pulls it into his mouth. Christian sucks on it hard, causing me to whimper. He releases my lip and kisses me hard. When he pulls back, I swallow nervously and nod.

  The elevator dings, advising us we’ve arrived at our destination. Christian steps back, giving me the needed space to breathe. The doors open, and a young couple gives us a knowing smile, probably assuming they know what occurred between us moments ago.

  The walk to his apartment is quiet. Christian guides me down the hall, opening the door, ushering me in. Once I walk over the threshold, Christian kicks the door shut behind him, turning the deadbolt.

  He slowly walks toward me, and with each step he takes I retreat one. My eyes meet his and feel my resolve wavering.

  The silence between us isn’t exactly comfortable, but it isn’t awkward either.