Pieces of Me

by Pua Ramona

  “Oh my God! It’s Dad’s design Luka” I say with both my hands covering my face.

  Luka steps next to me and says “This was supposed to be your graduation present, but it was such a fucked up year for us. Dad passed away, you left and things just felt like they were getting worse. But when we heard you were coming home for the family reunion, we figured it was the best time to get it done for your birthday.” I look at all of them and tell them I love them, Reese and Lei included.

  “Go look, enjoy your bookcase nerd” Daniel says. I laugh, making my way around it, looking at the shelves, the carving and imagining all of my pretties sitting on there. Just as I’m finishing up my inspection something catches my eye.

  There are words carved into one of the bookshelves and I’m reading them aloud before I realize what the passage is and I lose it. Right here, on my bookshelf is one of my favorite scriptures/quotes:

  1 Corinthians 13;4-7.

  LOVE is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered. It keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves.

  I stand here feeling overwhelmed, I am in love with my bookcase no doubt. Now I have to figure out how I’m supposed to get it back to New York, but that’ll be tomorrow's problem. “I love it so much!” I squeal and they all start laughing their asses off, including Leila. I can’t help being an absolute nerd over it, so I join the laughing session too.

  Leila gifts me with a dozen of my favorite cupcakes and pulls out the book that I have been dying to have for an eternity. “I decided to drive 2 hours to get this book for you, so you better claim me your bestie forever Sina. Or I’ll take my cupcakes and that book back with me” she says.

  I hand the cupcakes over to Reese and throw myself at my new bestie. “I know we don’t know each other well, but I am glad you’re here Leila”, I whisper into her ear so the guys can’t hear me.

  She whispers back, “Me too Sina, I’m so glad you came back. Even if it’s for a short time” as she lets go of me to wipe her tears away.

  “Okay birthday celebration tonight at The Hut, be there by nine and don’t be late ladies and assholes” Luka says. We all laugh at his stupid announcement. I stand there looking around at these happy faces and deep down there’s still this void in my heart and I can’t figure out why. I shake it off as Leila passes out the cupcakes and everyone digs in. Daniel hands out shot glasses and says “Birthday shot for the nerd girl” and everyone yells “Cheers, nerd.” I have never laughed so hard until this very moment. I feel my heart aching because I know after this weekend, Emma and I will be flying back home early Monday morning. I sigh for my sad heart, but smile for my heart so full of love.

  Chapter Six

  Eli

  Reese texts me that he’ll be to work after he stops at the Petersons place. It makes me angry that he’s becoming close friends with them, whilst I'm stuck out on the edge. I wasn’t sure if he would be seeing Sina whilst he’s there because he never mentioned anything about her and I was too chicken shit to ask him. I assume that he was just visiting her brothers, until he walks into the office looking too happy. “Why are you so damn happy?” I snap.

  “Why can’t I be happy dude?” he snaps back.

  I sit back in my chair and snark at him, “Did Lei finally suck your dick?” I don’t mean it, but I want to get a rise out of him so that I wasn't the only one in a mood.

  Reese grabs me by my collar and says “What the hell is your problem Eli? You’ve been acting like an asshole for the past few fucking days. I don’t know what the fuck your problem is but you need to figure it the fuck out because I don’t have time to deal with your little kid mood swings.” He lets go of my shirt and walks out the office slamming the door behind him.

  I feel shitty for using Lei as a jab at Reese to deflect from the fact that he's right, I have been an asshole for the last few days. My phone buzzes and it's Becca again. She’s been blowing my phone up all day and texting me with her half ass apologies. I don’t know why I ever fucked with her this long. I’ve been told repeatedly that she wasn’t a good match for me. But I’m a guy and she was always available, so I got comfortable. I need someone to talk some sense into me. I shake my head, grab my phone and dial my Mama’s number and wait for her to answer her phone.

  “Hey my sweet boy! You must be having a bad day if you’re calling me from work” Mama answers with a smile in her voice. I hold on to my phone and wonder why I never visit anymore, and it dawns on me that Becca never wanted to go. So to save the drama of leaving her alone to spend time with my Mama, I just bailed on visiting altogether. I can’t believe how much I’ve changed whilst I’ve been around her. I must look like an asshole to everyone. I mean I was always with Reese and Lei, but then I would leave when Becca would call or text to meet her at my place. “Elijah sweetie, are you there?” Mama asks, because I’ve been silent since she answered, pondering how much of an asshole I’ve become.

  “Yeah, I’m here Mama. Are you busy right now?” I can feel her hope of a visit through the phone.

  “No, I’ll have lunch ready when you get here. Is Reese coming with you?” she asks.

  I close my eyes, “No, he’s pissed off at me right now, so it’ll be just me Mama.”

  She’s quiet for a second and then she says “Well, I’ll be here Son, love you.”

  With that, I grab my coat and leave the office to go have a long overdue lunch with my Mama.

  I make it to Mama’s in twenty minutes. I park my truck and make sure I’ve got my phone on loud in case the office needs me. I get to the front door and my phone buzzes, and I see Becca calling again. I lean my forehead on the door and wait for the ringing to stop. Not ten seconds pass and it starts buzzing again, so I just turn my phone off. Fuck the office, they’ll have to call Reese. I tuck my phone in my pocket and the door flies open “Are you going to stand out here all afternoon or are you going to come inside and apologize for staying away from your mama?” Mama says with a smirk.

  Stepping inside and I pick her up and apologize. “I’m sorry for staying away and for not listening to you Mama. Forgive me?” I say giving her my best puppy dog face.

  She gives me a big kiss then turns it into a raspberry and says “Put me down sweet boy before you drop me.” I hold on for a moment longer and then place her back to the floor.

  “What’s for lunch?” I ask as I walk behind her and see she’s made my favorite sandwich and an apple pie

  “Grab something to drink and go sit at the table. I’ll bring your food over” she says. I do as I am told and sit at the table. “Now, do you want to tell me what’s going on with you? Why is Reese mad at you?” Mama looks at me as I take a big bite of my sandwich. I wonder why I ever moved out of the house and shove in another bite before stopping to pick up my water.

  “I’ve been acting like a total asshole, and I’ve been taking it out on Reese and Leila” I say from behind my glass.

  Mama makes a funny sound and asks “Why have you been acting like an asshole?”

  “I don’t know Mama. I mean I was okay until I ran into this girl a few days ago. Since then I’ve been having these feelings that I don’t know how to deal with.” I don’t look at my mother because I know she’s looking at me, probably surprised that I’m even feeling this way.

  She moves her chair back and asks “What feelings Son? Who’s the girl, do I know her?” I sit back and watch Mama make herself a cup of tea. I know she’s dying to know because she won’t stop staring at me. “Are you going to tell me or not Elijah Jonathan Hunter?” Oh shit, she triple named me!

  I laugh at her and give in. “Do you remember the Petersons?”

  She sits up straight and says “Of course. Are you talking about Makerita and Loane Peterson? With the beautiful kids? Three boys and two girls, right?”

  “How do you e
ven know their whole family Mama? I don’t remember you ever talking about them” I ask curiously.

  She sits back in her chair and tells me with a small smile, “That’s because I don’t gossip Son. This whole town might, but I know when not to run my mouth. I’ve known the Petersons since my high school days. Loane and I used to date, but then he met Rita.”

  “Mama was he your first love, before Dad?”

  “Yes, he was my first love, but I wasn’t his. When he met Rita, I knew he loved her so I let him go. But I never regretted my decision to let him go, because if I hadn't then I would have never met your father” she says smiling. She clears her throat then asks “So, tell me why did you ask me about the Petersons son?”

  I move my chair backwards and lean both elbows on my knees, I take a deep breath and say “Their daughter Sina is back and I can’t stop thinking about her. She was at Pixies earlier this week and she didn’t even acknowledge me, and it pissed me off. Then Becca showed up and everything went to shit. Even Lei was pissed off that Becca even showed up, but it bothered me more that she was there because I know it hurt Sina to have Becca there in the same room. I don’t know Mama, I’m losing my mind, and I can’t stop thinking about her. When I do think about her, my heart does this funny thing and it’s weird because sometimes I think I miss her. Now you tell me how that’s even possible when we don’t even speak let alone know each other.” I can feel myself starting to get frustrated because all I want to do is get to know her and spend some time with her before she leaves. The thought of her leaving grazes a little sting against my heart, and I don’t like it one bit.

  Mama leans forward and asks, “So, what are you going to do about it?”

  I run both of my hands down my face and say “Well, here’s the thing Mama, I don’t think she even cares that I exist.”

  “Well, why’s that?” She asks, puzzled.

  I don’t want to tell her but I know I’m desperate for any kind of help or advice so I hang my head and confess my sins. “She came by the house this morning with her sister in law to drop off my wallet, because I left it in her brother’s car.”

  “Why was it in his car?” she asks with a frown.

  “I was at The Hut last night and I drank too much, so her brother Daniel and his wife Mona drove me to Reese’s and Lei’s place” I know Mama’s upset because she stays quiet. “So this morning I left Reese’s place early because I needed to grab my charger, but when I got home Becca was waiting for me” I said. Mama starts tapping her fingers against the table, hard. Shit, she’s pissed at me.

  “So what happened when you saw Becca?” she says with a little annoyance bleeding into her voice.

  I know I’m already fucked and need to finish this conversation, so I rip the bandaid off and say, “I had sex with her outside by the garage. I didn’t realize that Mona had driven up, but by the time I turned to thank her for dropping off my wallet, Sina was standing behind her.”

  Mama gets up and starts pacing back and forth “Why was Becca waiting for you? Does she not have a house key?”

  “She did but I took it back because I told her I was done with us last night.”

  “And you decided to forget about everything you said and just screw her outside where people can see you? I raised you better than that Elijah” Mama shakes her head at me. “I don’t blame that poor girl for not wanting anything to do with you son. If the tables were turned, how would it feel?” I can’t say anything because I know Mama is right. “Do you think Sina deserves better? Does she deserve more?”

  “She deserves everything beautiful and so much more from this world Mama. I just want her to see me, not see through me.”

  “Do you think you deserve her Elijah?”

  I clear my throat and answer her “Yes ma’am, I see her.”

  “Well, then you better work on your shit before you even consider yourself to be worthy of her. Don’t think that I don’t know about her leaving because that Moore kid, he was too stupid to realize that he had something good in front of his face. And I know Becca played a hand in that bullshit because her mother used to laugh about it behind Rita’s back. So if you’re serious about her, you better start acting right. She’s been through enough already, so be good to her and respect her.” She leans toward me and kisses the top of my head and says, “Lock the door behind you when you leave, I have errands to run. Oh and make sure you apologize to Reese for your asshole behavior.” And with that she leaves the kitchen.

  I sit here for a little bit and make sure to clean up the kitchen before I leave. I move to grab my keys and I see that Mama has left a note taped on top of the apple pie that’s still sitting on the counter.

  Elijah,

  Please make things right before it’s too late. I made this for you

  So enjoy it. I love you my sweet boy.

  Love always,

  Mama xo.

  I grab my pie, make sure the door is locked and I get in my truck. I turn my phone back on and it shows that I have five missed calls from Becca, fifteen text messages and a text from Lei.

  Lei: Whatever plans you have tonight cancel them, we have a special birthday celebration to attend tonight. Meet us at The Hut around 9, DON’T BE LATE ELIJAH >:/

  Me: Who’s birthday?

  Lei: It’s Sina’s birthday so leave your girlfriend at home, unless you want Mona to punch her face again then by all means bring her along so I can watch this time.

  Me: She’s not my girlfriend.

  Lei: I don’t care what she is to you, just leave her home. She’s not invited!!!! P.s. Bring something nice. Sina deserves a great birthday. See you later. Love you :*

  I lean my head back and take a deep breath. How did Lei know it was Sina’s birthday today? Have they been hanging out without me and I didn’t know about it? Have they been hanging out with the Petersons all this time? Was I too caught up with all my bullshit with Becca? I sit in my truck for twenty minutes feeling angry. It makes sense, I know Lei, as soon as she gets the right vibe from someone, she’s on their team instantly. And if you have Lei on your side, you get Reese - those two are like a two for one deal. As soon as I saw Sina in Pixies I should have known it wouldn't be too long before Lei would take her under her wing. I’m a fool for entertaining Becca all this time when I could have been spending time with my friends and getting to know Sina at the same time. I sit here trying to get myself to chill the fuck out, but I’m having a hard fucking time because I feel left out. I take a deep breath and make the drive back to the office, hoping that Reese isn’t there because I can’t fucking deal with him. Am I acting like a bitch? Of course I am, but I don’t give a fuck right now.

  As I step out of my truck I spot Reese and one of the Peterson brothers talking outside the office. I slam the door and make my way to the door but before I make it to the first step Reese says, “What’s up your ass man?”

  I don’t know why but it pisses me off that he’s being so smug about shit, so I pivot on the spot and punch him right in the fucking face. Reese stumbles back and says “What the fuck? You motherfucker”, and before I can step back he throws a quick punch, landing it perfectly on my left cheek. The next thing I know we’re on the ground throwing punches “I don’t know what the fuck has gotten into you but you need to figure it out and fucking quick Eli” Reese yells, punching me right in the gut.

  “Aight yo! Break it up boys” As Reese is pulled off me, I look up and realize that it was the younger Peterson brother, Micah, that he’d been talking to when I got here. I stand up and dust the dirt off me.

  “What’s your fucking problem Eli?” Reese growls at me.

  I get in his face and snap, “You’re my fucking problem.” Reese looks at me like I’ve lost my mind, and maybe I have. I’ve lost my mind over a girl.

  “What the fuck are you talking about?” he says.

  I shake my head and push him “Since when did you and the Petersons get so close?” I ask. I watch Reese’s face scrunch up and Micah steps next
to him with his hands folded.

  “What? That’s what you’re fucking pissed about?” Reese says breathing hard.

  “You know what, forget this shit.” I roll my shoulders back and turn toward the office door when I hear, “Baby, can we talk? Please?” My head drops in defeat.

  “What the fuck are you doing here Becca?”

  I turn to see what Reese and Micah are doing, but all I see is Reese looking like he’s completely done with me and Micah looking like he can taste something disgusting.

  Before I can say anything to either of them Micah says, “Aight man thanks for helping out with the bookcase.” Jealousy stabs at my heart again because I know they’ve all worked on something for Sina and I wasn’t included.

  Reese reaches out and shakes his hand and says “Nah, the look on her face was priceless man. Thanks for letting me be there this morning to surprise her.” My head snaps up and I see that it meant a lot to Reese. I stand there, watching the two of them talk feeling like an outcast.

  Micah walks past Becca and I hear her say “Wish your sister a happy birthday for me” chuckling at the same time. I can’t believe how she thought she was fucking funny. Reese and I stay quiet as we watch Micah step right into her face.

  Reese puts his hand on Micah’s shoulder to stop him from doing something stupid like laying Becca out on her ass, but the look on Becca’s face is hilarious. She actually looks fucking terrified. Micah leans into her and says “I never understood why my sister cared for you. Yeah, you helped her in little ways, but you needed her more than she ever fucking needed you Becca. You can go ahead and shit on my sister. Just know that you’ll always have nothing to look forward to, I don’t give a fuck who takes the time out for you because you’ll never be Sina. Now if I hear you or your little fan club talking shit about my sister again, I’ll have Mona beat your ass. Or better yet, I’ll just have Sina beat your ass.” He steps back, looks at me and shakes his head “Why her?” He gives Reese a slight head nod and walks off to his car.