Pieces of Me

by Pua Ramona

  Before I can ask her what’s wrong I hear Leila saying “What the fuck are you doing here?” I turn around and see who she was talking to.

  “It’s a public place Leila, so fucking relax” Becca says.

  Leila drops Reese’s hand and steps right in front of her “Bitch, you need to leave or I’ll have Mona kick your ass.” I see the boys and my sister moving toward them, and notice that people are stopping to see what’s happening.

  I take the shot that Mona had given me a few seconds ago, and scan the crowd to see where she has disappeared to. “Dammit,” I say. I see her pulling her hair up in a bun and getting ready to take her earrings out. I squeeze my way through people and grab her arm, “Mona put your damn earrings back on.”

  She looks at me and says “Fuck nah. I can’t stand that hoe and she needs her ass beat. Move Sina.”

  I roll my eyes and say “Mona I’m not Daniel so just stop with your bullshit.”

  She relaxes a little and asks “Sis do you want her out of here?”

  I smile at my sister in law and say “No, I’ll be fine. I promise.”

  She gives me a hug and says “Well then we better get over there before Megan and Leila tag team that hoe.” I laugh as we make our way to where there is now a small crowd of people waiting to see how this plays out.

  “Bitch please, you were a nobody back then and you’re still a skank now” says Megan. I see Reese holding Leila who looks like she’s ready to rip Becca’s face off.

  “Come on Becca let’s just go somewhere else” one of the girls that I’m guessing she came with says. I guess my shots are catching up to me because I can’t stop myself from sweating.

  Mona grabs my sister “Alright Sis let’s go get a drink” she tells Megan.

  Daniel sees me “Do you want me to kick them out? ‘Cause I have no problem doing that” he says.

  I pull him into a hug and say “No it’s fine. I don’t care that she’s here.”

  He hugs me back and tells everyone to move on, I turn to walk back to the table and hear, “That’s right bitch run, that’s all you do anyways. Fucking coward” Becca says. I look over my shoulder and see that she has this smug look on her face. Okay this slut must think she scares me? She’s got me so fucked up it’s starting to piss me off. “Do you know why Mikey chose me over you Sina?'' She takes a couple of steps closer to where I’m standing and looks down at me from the height of her hooker heels. “Because he loved me over you, and told me that my pussy was gold.” Before she can even take a step back I punch her right in the mouth.

  “Fucking bitch!” Becca snaps she grabs my hair and pulls. Wrong move heffa, she tries pulling my hair again but I throw another punch and it hits her on the other side of her face. I see Becca’s hand flying towards me, but out of nowhere Michael appears and grabs her. I don’t know why, but seeing him with her even after eight years still turns my stomach.

  Michael looks at me and tells me he’s sorry as he turns Becca in his arms and walks away with her. I feel my heart beating through my chest, I feel embarrassed, like the past was being thrown back in my face all over again. The only difference is; everyone is looking at me with pity in their stupid eyes. I hear my sister behind me but I can’t make out what she’s saying. All I can hear is the sound of my heart thundering in my chest and lungs breathing in gulps full of air. I feel tears behind my eyes, but I make sure I hold them in. I can’t catch my breath properly. Shit, am I having another panic attack? Please, please God just give me enough to be able to walk out with my head up. The pain is so strong that it’s almost knocking me off my feet.

  “Sina, are you okay?” I hear Reese behind me. I still can’t look at anyone so I just start walking toward the stage like a woman on a mission.

  “Sina, do you want me to take you home?” asks Megan as I pass her.

  I look at her with tears running down my face “No, I need to do this” I say hugging her.

  She looks at me with a proud smile, “You sing your fucking heart out Sister, all that shit that’s breaking your heart, you let that son of a bitch know that you’re done.”

  I make my way to the DJ who’s one of Daniel’s good friends. “Hey Isaac, do you have Jessie Ware, Say You Love Me?”

  He looks at me and says “Rip him a new asshole babygirl, do it good too because he’s staring at you right now”, as he hands me the mic and winks. I take my time walking on the stage “Alright everyone, for those who don’t know our next performer let me introduce her.” I shake my head at him no but he winks. “Ladies and gentlemen please let’s hear it for Miss Masina Peterson” the whole place goes crazy and I feel myself breathing easy now.

  “GET IT GIRL” Mona screams. I look at my table and I see my sister, Leila and Mona holding their glasses up, I see the guys doing the same and I feel myself getting lost in the music. This is for the broken pieces that I gave him and the pieces he stole. I sing with my heart bleeding. They did this.

  Chapter Eight

  Eli

  Leila: Where are you? It’s 10:30pm, let me know if you’re coming or not please? Daniel has a parking spot reserved for you. Ttys. Love you.

  Reese: If you’re not going to make it text Leila and let her know. She had one of the guys save you a spot

  Leila: I heard about what happened at the office. That's between you and Reese. I’m not mad at you. I’ll understand if you don’t make it. I love you Eli and your heart. Xo

  That was two hours ago. I planned on not going to The Hut, but a huge part of me wanted to see her. After Reese left the office, I worked the rest of the day. I left the office around eight, stopped at Five Guys and grabbed me some dinner then drove to the lake. I didn’t want to be around anyone, or anything. My head and emotions were everywhere and I didn’t know anything anymore. Reese and I have gotten into arguments sure, but never like this. Never to the point where we just started throwing punches, especially over a girl. I was so caught up in my bullshit with Becca, and worried about everything that I thought was about me. It made me feel insecure in some ways, so I questioned my best friend’s loyalty and his heart. I knew one hundred percent that he was all about Lei, I knew she was it for him because I see it every day in how he looks at her, the way he holds her, talks to her, and the way he tells her he loves her. I was too fucking jealous of what he had.

  I thought Becca would be the one when I was ready to commit. She knew I wasn’t ready for a relationship, we hit it off so I didn’t stop spending time with her. We got comfortable with each other. Because we spent so much time together she started throwing out hints about us making it official, but I didn’t want to because I knew she wasn’t the one. I mean maybe for another guy, just not me. I was drawn to her looks, and how good she made feel especially when I was having bad days. I had it all fucking wrong. I wanted, no fuck that, I needed Sina in my life, it was her face that I started seeing when I wake up in the morning, and it’s her that I see before I go to sleep. If this makes me sound crazy then that’s fine. But there was something about Sina that made me crave her attention. She made me feel things that I never thought I would feel. She made me want things. Sina made me want to just talk about anything and everything. It’s her that I want to be my person someday, it’s her that I want to be the keeper of my heart. I had this ache in my chest that I couldn't even explain if I tried. I wasn’t going to show up, but I needed to see her. I wanted to see her beautiful face and smile, even if it meant that she didn’t want anything to do with or see me. Fuck it, I’m going to the Hut and I’m gonna wish my girl a Happy Birthday, even if she doesn’t care for it.

  I pull into the parking lot and don’t realize how crowded it is until I step out of the truck. I double check the bouquet I picked up on my way over here has as many different kinds of flowers as possible, because she’s worth more than just a dozen of red roses. She’s worth an entire garden. I may have my man card stripped from me tonight for carrying what looks like an entire floristry shop wrapped in a ribbon into the bar, but I
don’t give a shit. Tucked under one arm are her flowers and a basket full of books and chocolates hanging on the other. Call me every name in the damn book, fuck you. She’s worth it and this is finally my time to show her.

  I make it to the door just as a couple of guys are leaving. “You here for baby girl’s little shindig?” one of the guys asks.

  “It depends on which one you’re referring to”, I reply.

  He looks over his shoulder and says, “Sexy ass Sina.”

  I have never wanted to hit someone so bad before, especially for calling Sina sexy. I mean shit, Sina’s more than just fucking sexy. She’s every man’s dream, she’s nothing like Becca I can tell you that much. I’m lost in my thoughts until I hear someone say “You were invited to Sina’s get together?” I lean a little so I can see who’s asking and see Michael glaring at me. To say that I was pissed before, when this fucker called Sina sexy, was a whole new level of how fucking pissed I am now, seeing this dickhead here. Embracing my new dont fuck things up version of Eli, I go to walk straight by him. Fuck him, I don’t answer to him anyway.

  As I start looking around for the Petersons I feel little hands grab at me from behind. “I knew I’d find you here Baby” I tense and cringe, closing my eyes. Great. Becca.

  “Get your fucking hands off me Becca” I snap. I know she’s had a little to drink because she smells like one of those fruity ass cocktails that I fucking hate.

  She steps around me and purrs “Can you forgive me for being bitchy with you lately?” She actually fucking purred. I’m already pissed off that Michael is here, but now I’m just fucking done.

  “It’s over, Becca, so go back to your friends,” I tell her.

  She gives me her signature you-want-me smile and says, “If you need me for anything, baby, I’ll be over there with Lauren and Marissa.” Before she leaves she leans in and gives me a quick peck on the lips “I miss you Eli” she whispers. I step away from her and see one of the Peterson brothers walking toward me. Shit, I hope he doesn’t think I came with Becca cause I’m not trying to get my ass jumped by any of the brothers.

  “You Reese’s boy right?” he asks.

  I give him a little head nod and say, “Yeah, I’m Eli.” He reaches for my hand but see’s that they’re both filled with gifts.

  He gives me a shoulder bump and says “You’re the only one that got her presents. Well, you, Leila, and Reese.” He looks over my shoulder then looks at me and says, “Your girl can’t be anywhere near my sister. Daniel only hasn’t kicked her ass out because she hasn’t done shit...yet.”

  I take a deep breath and say “She’s not my girl.” I figure this is Sina’s older brother, Luka, since I’ve met the other two already.

  He looks at me for a second and says “Alright, just keep her away from Sina.” I pray that Becca doesn’t step out of fucking line. Because if she does I’m pretty sure Mona will knock her ass out, or worse the Peterson cousins. I wouldn’t want to fuck with them, they come in fucking packs. You probably think it’s a joke but it’s the truth. If I’ve learned anything about Samoans, it’s that you never mess with what’s theirs, especially family. It’s one of the reasons why I respect them so much, they’re pretty chill but if you piss them off you’re on your own.

  Luka looks at me and asks, “Do you want to put that in the office and just give it to her after last call, or do you just want to take it to the table?” I’m not sure who was all here for her so I chose to lock it up in the office.

  “Is there a vase anywhere or something I can put her flowers in?” I ask Luka.

  He looks around the office and sees an empty bucket by the desk “I got you. Just put it in here and I’ll fill it up with water” he says.

  We head back to the bar to grab some drinks

  “What’s your sister having?” I ask.

  “She’s just been takin’ mostly shots of Tennessee whiskey. I’m sure it’s for her nerves” I give him a ‘are you serious?’ look. I mean she’s a tiny little thing, with curves in just the right places. I feel my dick jump just thinking about her ass. What the fuck am I doing? I need to chill the hell out, or I’ll be the one getting my ass kicked instead.

  I order a beer and a round of shots and as I’m pulling my card out, Luka stops me.

  “Nah man, we got it covered” he says.

  I look at him and say, “Thanks man, but I want to get this for Sina.”

  He gives me a look and says “Alright, I’ll be watching you though.” I know why he said it and I was okay with that. I pay for our drinks and I follow Luka over to their table.

  “What the fuck” I stop and see that Luka is pushing through the wall of people that were crowding around in a huddle. I'm guessing it’s gonna be a couple of drunks who can’t hold their alcohol.

  “You want to know why Mikey chose me Sina? Because he loved me over you and said my pussy was gold” I have never in my life ever wanted to knock a girl out, but Becca was getting under my skin. And from the way everyone’s watching her I’m sure she’s on the verge of getting kicked out, or getting the shit beaten out of her if she doesn’t stop running her mouth. Everyone that was close enough to hear her venom looked shocked that she even said that, especially when The Hut was owned by the Petersons. “That’s right bitch. That’s all you do anyways is run. Fucking coward” Becca says. I drop the drinks I have in my hands, I’m pushing my way through the crowd, intent on getting Becca the fuck out of Sina’s birthday gathering, when I see my girl punch the fuck out of Becca. The whole bar kind of stops, everyone surprised that the pocket rocket that is Sina was a little fighter. Well, I’ll be damned if I'm not impressed. I see Becca grabbing her, but my girl throws another punch and it lands perfectly on Becca's cheek. I see Becca with her hand open and I'm pretty sure she was going to slap Sina, but what do you fucking know?

  “Take a walk Becca'' I hear Michael snap. I spot him behind Becca, with eyes only for Sina.

  “Fuck you Mikey, I’m not yours anymore. You told me that I was a fucking mistake. You threw me away when that bitch left you'', she cries. What the fuck is going on? Is Becca still in love with Michael? I watch him look at Sina while Becca just looks hurt.

  “Fuck” I say to myself. That fucking second, I realize he’s still in love with Sina.

  I watch him say “I’m sorry” to Sina then he walks Becca somewhere, I really don’t give a fuck where he takes her. I look back at Sina and she looks like she’s getting ready to have a breakdown. I don’t like the way I’m feeling after watching that play out. Is she still in love with him? Just the thought of her still in love with that piece of shit makes me see red. I’m so caught up with my own thoughts that I don’t realize that she isn’t in her spot anymore. I walk closer to where her family are sitting and I see Reese following her asking her something. I know he doesn’t love her like that, but I hate that he’s the one going after her. I hate that this bullshit even fucking happened, I hate that her past is still eating her alive. I want to punch something, anything because I can’t fucking touch her. I see her sister asking her something and Sina’s shaking her head then hugs her sister, and it kills me that she was hurting over the same people that made her leave. I watch her asking the DJ something and hate him for smiling at her, but I hate him more because it’s a genuine smile. I am doing a lot of hating tonight. He leans in and whispers something in her ear and I see her tense up a little. What the fuck did he just say to her? She turns around and I know everyone sees that she’s crying. I expect someone to say some fucked up shit, but everyone’s eyes are fixed on her. I see her looking at the table where her family is.

  “Get it girl!” I know it’s Mona because she stood right in front of me. Megan and Lei all have their glasses raised up, and I see that the guys were following their lead including Reese.

  I feel someone tug on my sleeve. “Here man” I look to see who’s standing next to me.

  “Thanks for choosing my sister. If you fucking hurt her, I promise you, I’ll fuck you up�
��, Micah says.

  I take the shot glass from him and I ask “How did you know?”

  “I see the way you look at her. You look at her as if you’re taking your last breath. And it’s easy to point out someone who’s falling in love, you wear your heart on your sleeve and you didn’t even know that. You know it now ‘cause your heart is standing’ up on that stage. Now I’ll say it again, you hurt her, I’ll fuck you up” he says. I give Micah a head nod and the DJ introduces my girl, and holy fucking shit everyone goes crazy. I look back at the stage and see her eyes are fixed on someone in the crowd. I look behind me to see who’s captured her attention and there, in the crowd stands Michael. I feel a piece of my heart break as I realize that she must still be in love with him. She’s worth the heartache though. I’m not giving up.

  Chapter Nine

  Sina

  I close my eyes and I feel like I can sense him in the crowd as I start to sing. I know for sure that he’s here and not a figment of my imagination when I open my eyes because I see him. It's like tunnel vision sets in and he is all I see. The amount of butterflies I feel when I see Eli lets me know I’m in trouble when it comes to this guy. I shouldn’t feel this way especially when he’s with Becca. My heart knows he’s bad for me but I can’t help the way I feel.

  “Say you love me, to my face”, I continue to sing and I want him to know that I mean every single word. This is my song and I am singing it for him. I look over to where Michael was standing earlier and I see him with tears in his eyes. I see how broken he is, but I want him to know that I am done being second best.

  I watch him walk to the door with his brother Thomas, before he leaves he looks at me again and I can see that he knows there is no coming back from our past for us. He holds his chest with tears running down his face and mouths “I'll always love you” from his spot by the door. I can’t stop my tears from falling as I give him my last goodbye. I kiss the palm of my hand, closing my eyes and holding it over my heart between versus of my song. I open my eyes and he’s gone. I don’t realize the song is over until I hear everyone cheering for me. I look over at my table and see that everyone is stood up, out of their seats going crazy. My sister, Leila, and Mona are all crying happy tears and the guys are fist bumping shouting my name with loud whistles.