Pieces of Me

by Pua Ramona

  “Please, Eli”, She whimpers.

  I kiss my way back up to her mouth and say “Please what baby? Tell me what you want me to do?” She gives me access to her neck so take the hint and start sucking on it. I feel her hands on my back making their way around to my hard dick. She rubs me through my jeans and moans some more. I kiss my way down to her stomach and she freezes. What the fuck? I look up at her and ask “Sina, do you want me to stop?” She doesn’t open her eyes but she shakes her head no. I ask her again to be sure but she says no, so I start to take her pants off. She lifts her bottom half off the ground so I can pull her jeans all the way off and I make sure that her panties come off with them. She starts to sit up but I stop her with my hand on her collarbone. “Baby, don’t move, I want to taste you.” She shakes her head looking nervous and a little unsure. I sit up between her legs and look her in the eye. “Have you ever had your pussy eaten before Baby?” She doesn’t look at me, but she’s shaking her head no. I am shocked as shit and, move closer to her so she can see me. “You’ve been with Michael all those years, and he never fucking ate your pussy?” I look at her bewildered that that asshole never made his girl feel good the entire time they were together.. She starts to cover herself and I stop her. “No, you’re fucking beautiful Sina. Now tell me, did you ever want to have your pussy licked?”

  Her cheeks turn red and she says “Not really, Michael never wanted to try it so it never bothered me.”

  “But you were curious, right? Do you want to know what it feels like?” I ask. She shrugs her shoulders like she doesn’t know, but I know she does. “Lay back down, Sina, and spread your legs for me” I say with a smirk, knowing I'm going to be the only guy to ever get her off like this. She lays back on the blanket and I make sure to spread her legs wider. “Fuck babe, you smell so good” I say breathing in her scent. I look up and see that she’s already playing with her nipples, fuck yeah, that’s my girl. I move myself lower so my face is right there by her pussy and I start kissing the very inside of her thighs, kissing my way to her center. I grab her legs as she tries to pull them together and I spread them wider for me. I start licking and nibbling on her clit.

  “Oh my God'' she moans. I use my fingers to spread her pussy lips wider and I start tongue fucking her. Her moans get louder and I’m watching her pinch at her nipples while biting her lower lip. I feel my dick get so hard through my jeans I feel like I'm going to blow in my pants, but I need to make Sina come in my mouth first. I’m desperate to taste every drop of her. I’m pulling at her clit with my teeth as she moans my name “Eli, Don’t stop” she says as she grinds into my face. She reaches down, grabbing and pulling at my hair. I stick one finger inside her pussy and the sound she makes almost undoes me, so I add another while I’m still sucking hard on her clit. She grabs my head and she starts fucking my mouth harder while I’m eating her pussy and finger fucking her at the same time.

  I feel her tightening around my fingers and I look up at her and say “Come for me, that’s it Baby. Come” and she floods my mouth with her essence. Fuck, I could eat her out all damn day, she tastes so good. I kiss my way up to her while my fingers are still inside of her. Fuck she’s so damn wet, I am more than ready to be inside of her. I kiss her neck, then I kiss her ear, nibbling on her lobe “Tell me you like it when I eat you out Sina. Tell me” I say into her neck. She turns to look at me biting her lip, and I fall hard for her all over again.

  “Eli, you’re going to make me come again” she moans. I make sure to rub her clit with my thumb while my fingers are still inside her. I know I’m hitting her spot because she closes her legs and moans “I’m coming, oh my freaking God, Eli I’m coming.” I slam my lips to hers and she comes all over my fingers, tasting herself on my lips. That’s my girl. I keep kissing her as I wait for her to come down from her high. I feel her hands move to my jeans and I pause, telling her “We don’t have to do this babe. I just want to make you feel good.” Her face drops and I feel like the biggest piece of shit ever. She tries to move away from me to grab her clothes, but I stop her. “Sina, I didn’t say that I don’t want to fuck you. I just wanted to let you know that you don’t have to do this if you aren’t ready. I don't expect anything from you in return is all I’m saying.”

  She sighs and looks away. “Okay.” She gets up and she starts grabbing her clothes. I stand up and realize how hard my dick is. I watch Sina get dressed and it’s almost like the air between us just changed.

  I walk up to her, grab her waist and pull her back to me “Are you mad at me?”

  She doesn’t look at me, continuing to dress herself and says, “No.”

  I feel like I’m screwing this up and I’m getting pissed at myself, so I ask her again, “Are you mad ‘cause I didn’t fuck you?” Her face drops and she holds her tears back and I know I’m in way over my head.

  “Can you just please take me home?” She says. I don’t answer her as she walks over to grab her shoes and phone. I notice that she doesn’t grab her gifts and it pisses me off some more.

  “What you’re too good to take my gifts home?” My frustration at trying to be the fucking good guy and still being an asshole forces the words past my lips before I can keep them in. Shit shut the fuck up man.

  She slows down and looks over her shoulder and says “Why are you being so mean?”

  I look at her and it pisses me off that she cant see how hard I’m trying to NOT fuck her over by going slow with her. It takes me four steps to get to her and I’m in her face “What? are you mad because I didn’t fuck you Sina?” I need to back the fuck away from her before I say something else that ‘asshole - Eli’ cant keep to himself. “Is that why you want to go home all of a sudden? I could’ve sworn you loved it when I was eating your pussy, huh?” Too late, asshole mode was in full swing and I can't find my way back to talk some sense into myself.

  She looks at me with angry eyes, shaking her head as she says “Just take me home Eli.”

  No, we cant leave things this way, she needs to understand how important she is and that shes not just a quick fuck for me, but if a fuck is what my girl wants, then thats what shell have. I tried to be a gentleman about it and I ended up pissing her off. I need to fix this now. I shake my head no and slowly push her against the truck.

  “Do you want me Sina? Is that what you want? You want me inside of you?” I know I’m on thin fucking ice, but I can’t get myself to stop. She’s breathing hard, and I’m not sure if she’s pissed or turned on, but being the fucken asshole that I am, I lean in and kiss her. I’m not sure if she is going to kiss me back, but then I feel her tongue slip into my mouth. I pin her against my truck and I start working her jeans back off.

  I know I should stop, but I can’t think straight. I pull her jeans down, and I move her already wet panties to the side. Fuck she’s so wet for me, I stick my finger inside and she moans. I withdraw them and I suck them into my mouth. I wanted her to watch me savor every drop of her. She’s so quiet and I start to feel bad that I’m doing this. “Do you want me to stop?” I whisper in her ear. She shakes her head no, so I take a step back letting her see how hard she makes me. I pop the buttons off my jeans and unzip them, pulling them down with my boxers kicking them off. I brace Sina against the truck with my hips and I kiss the shit out of her. I’m so hard that I need to be inside of her before I come all over her. I grab her leg and I hook it around my waist, I step so close to her that I can feel the heat of her pussy against me. I grab my dick and start stroking it, not breaking our kiss. I lift her leg up higher and I say “You better come again for me Babe.”

  Right as I slam my dick inside of her, the look on her face says it all and I know I’ve just fucked everything up. But I don’t stop. I fuck her hard and she moans. I keep thrusting in and out of her and she moans some more. I don’t stop until I feel my balls getting tight “Fuck, you feel so damn good Baby” I grind out. “Are you going to come for me? Come with me now? I want you to come” I feel her pussy tightening around my d
ick and I slam two more times inside of her and I come so hard in her pussy. I feel her juices dripping all over my dick and I love it.

  I move back a little so she can have both her feet on the ground and as I pull myself out of her I feel like I’ve left a piece of me behind. I grab my shirt and start cleaning myself off, watching her reach for her clothes as she turns away from me. I get dressed and wait for her to say something, whispering her name when I realize she’s not going to talk to me.

  She doesn’t even bother looking at me. I turn to face her, but she still has her back to me. I drop everything I have in my hands when I realie that she’s crying. I gently grab her hand and I feel her freeze, and I know why I didn’t promise her anything, because I just don’t trust myself with her heart. I also know now that she doesn’t trust me. And it kills me. “Sina,” I whisper again. She turns around and looks at me like I’m some stranger.

  I take a few steps toward her and she says, “Don’t come near me.” I don’t know what to say because I have no idea what is happening right now. I gently grab her waist and try to pull her into me, but she pushes me away and before I can even register what’s going on I see her fist fly as she lands a punch right on my damn jaw.

  “What the fuck?” I snap. She starts crying harder and I’m so lost. I keep asking myself what the hell did I’ve done? But I come up with nothing.

  Sina steps right in my face, “ You better make sure you say the right fucking name next time you fuck someone, you son of a bitch,” she spits at me. I can’t believe the shit she’s saying. I try to ask her what the fuck she’s talking about but she cuts me off. “You weren’t fucking Becca; you were fucking me” she screams at me. I stand there trying to figure out what she’s telling me like a dumbass and then it hits me in the heart. I look at her feeling like I can't breathe, I try reaching out to her, needing to apologize, but she says “No! You will never touch me again, and you sure as hell don’t deserve to touch me or my heart. Do yourself a favor, go back to Becca and forget that I even exist,” as she turns and walks away leaving my ass standing next to my truck.

  Does she think I’m going to just let her fucking walk home? No matter how much I fucked up, that isn't happening. “You’re not walking home Sina”

  She turns around and she gives me the most hateful look and says, “I’ve been taking care of myself for eight fucking years, so please spare me the hero bullshit because I am so done.”

  She turns away from me and starts walking toward the road. “Sina, I’m not going to let you walk home alone” I yell, walking after her. I see her crossing the road and I call out, “You can hate me all you want, Sina, but you have no choice but to let me take you home.” I get ready to cross the street and I see a car pull over right next to her. “What the fuck? Sina?” Now I’m pissed the fuck off. Is she serious? Who’s car is that? I cross the street and grab her by her arm. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

  I expect her to hit me again, but she turns to face me instead and says, “Eli, I am done. Whatever we thought was happening between us, wasn’t ever supposed to mean anything, and I’m fine with that.''

  I grab her hand and beg. “Sina, please.” But she pulls her hand away from mine and I stand there watching the last piece of her break. I can’t breathe, and I feel like my heart is going to beat out of my chest.

  I want to wrap her in my arms and keep hold of her, but the driver’s door opens and I’m not sure who it is that gets out and says “Sina, is everything okay?”

  Who the fuck is this motherfucker?

  Sina turns her head a little and says, “I’m okay, Marino, thank you for coming to get me.” If you thought I was pissed off before, oh trust me I’m so fucking pissed now that I’m seeing red. How can she just call another guy when she knows that we need to talk about what just happened between us.

  “Who the fuck are you?” I snap at the asshole that is brave to come get my girl. He moves into the light and all the air leaves my body. Did she really call this desperate fuck to pick her up? I know who he is now that I can see his face clearly. He was one of the lawyers who worked on our company’s contracts and he is also the fuck head that was dancing with her at The Hut. I look over at Sina and can see she has completely shut down.

  “Marino, can you give me a second please?” she asks with a smile that is nothing but empty.

  He looks at me then looks back at her “Sure. No rush, gorgeous.” This motherfucker. Before I can fucking say anything he gets back in the car and picks up his phone.

  “So you came with me, and you’re going to leave with him?” I say with a nasty tone. She doesn’t bother looking at me and starts reaching for the door. I reach over to stop her “Please, Sina, just let me take you home?” I beg.

  She takes a breath and with no feeling at all, says, “No.”

  I step away from her and know that I should just let her leave, but instead I stand there like an asshole and say, “Fine. If you want people to think that you’re just a whore leaving with different guys, then by all means leave. See if I give a fuck.”

  Her shoulders drop and she turns so she can face me. I hate myself because she didn’t do anything wrong and yet here I am treating her like she was nothing important, just to get a rise out of her so she’ll talk to me.

  She looks up at me and I feel it happen. I feel my heart fucking break. “You’re not the first guy who’s made me his second best, but you will be the last man who takes the last broken piece that I’ve held on to with everything that is me,” she cries. Before she gets in the car, she stands on the tip of her toes and kisses me on the cheek, her lips are so close to my ear as she whispers “I don’t exist to you anymore.” And my whole fucking world shatters right here at her feet.

  “Sina” I whisper, reaching for her, but she pulls away. I stand there and watch her leave with pieces of my heart in her possession. I can’t feel anything; I’m fucken numb. I am a piece of shit who doesn’t deserve her. I walk back to pick everything up off the blanket and throw them in the back of my truck, including the books that she’ll never get to read. As the sun rises I feel another piece of my soul die. That’s all that she wanted. To watch the sunrise and I couldn’t even give her that. I climb into my truck and drive off, leaving the pieces of me at the lake where they belonged with the last piece of Sina that I selfishly took from her, knowing that I will regret this for the rest of my life.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Sina

  And it happened. I was too weak to stay away from him. I couldn’t replay everything that happened back in my head because it hurt too bad, so I just let it go. “Sina, are you going to be okay?” Marino asks as he stops the car. I look at him with swollen eyes from crying and say “One day I’ll be okay. Thank you for bringing me home, I appreciate you coming out of your way to pick me up.” He gives me a sad smile and leaves me outside Mama’s house with my thoughts.

  I am officially emotionally and spiritually drained, but most of all I feel broken. I cried all the way to my mother’s house, and now I’m crying myself to sleep with a prayer on my lips. “God, if you can hear me now, please take it all. I can’t do it anymore.”

  “Please stop,” I cry out.

  “Stop what my beautiful Sina?” I try to move, but I can’t. My body is stuck frozen. Why is it so dark in here? “I’ll always come back for you” I hear a familiar voice say. Am I dreaming? Please let this just be a bad dream because I can’t do this again. “You belong to me Sina.” Why can’t I see anything? I start fighting, but I’m not hitting anything.

  “Please. Please, just leave me alone. I promise I won’t tell anyone” I cry. I can smell him everywhere and I feel myself straining and fighting against my invisible attacker.

  “Sina, please wake up.” I hear another voice, but I can’t see who it is. “Please wake up,” the voice whispers. “You better run” it’s that familiar voice again. I don’t know what’s happening but I feel myself start to shake.

  “Please, jus
t let me go” I cried. I can’t breathe, why is this happening to me? I just want this to stop, the pain to go away. I’m crying and I can’t move, I feel trapped.

  “Sina, please, please, it’s me Leila. I need you to wake up sweet girl.” I know that voice.

  Leila? No. You need to leave, he’s going to hurt you, please Leila run I cry out to her. Why can’t I move? Leave her alone! Just take me. I see him coming back for me, why is this happening to me. I feel him twisting my arm, oh my god, it hurts so bad. I hear voices but I don’t know where they’re coming from.

  “She won’t wake up Reese,” Leila cries.

  “Move Leila, let me try and wake her up” I hear another voice and it makes me feel safe. “Sina, sweetheart. Please wake up, Leila’s okay but she needs you to wake up sweetie.”

  Am I dreaming?

  “That’s it sweet girl, open those pretty brown eyes.”

  “Sina. Come back to us” Leila cries and I feel a hand on my cheek.

  “That’s it pretty girl.” I slowly open my eyes and I feel Reese’s arms holding me tight.

  “Reese?” I blink at him.

  “It’s me, pretty girl, you’re safe” he says. I feel someone hugging me from behind.

  “I love you” Leila says as she squeezes me against her. I close my eyes and I sob. Leila laces her fingers through mine and cries along with me.

  Reese lays me back on the bed and before he leaves the room, he leans in and kisses me on the top of my head “I love you pretty girl, and whoever this Jackson is I’m going to make sure he pays for what he did to you” he says. I heard the door close and I cried some more.

  “Shhh. It’s okay. Whatever it is you’re dealing with? I’m here” Leila says. Even if I tried, I wouldn't be able to stop myself from crying right now. Everything hurts, I’m so tired and I just can’t do it anymore. So I do what I’ve always wanted to do, but couldn’t because I had Emma to take care of. I allow myself to be broken in front of someone else. Leila has been such a great friend in the short period of time that I’ve been here and I love her like she’s a sister. We don’t say anything and I love her more for it because all I want to do is cry uninterrupted. I’m not sure how long we’ve been laying in my bed so I ask “How did you guys get in?”