by Pua Ramona
I squeeze his hand and say, “Eli, it’s okay. I promise you that I’m not mad at you, it’s life. We learn from everything good and bad and we move on. So please, don’t worry about me okay?”
He looks at me with tears in his eyes, “You’ll always be the one who got away Sina” he says.
I smile at him and say, “Maybe in the next lifetime.”
Before I stand up I hold his face in my hands and say, “Be an amazing father to that baby Eli, no matter how hard things get, you make sure to be the best daddy to that baby.”
“Sina” he whispers.
I lean my forehead against his and I whisper, “Live a happy life Eli” and I slowly make my way back to my family with my soul dying a little.
“Hey bestie” Leila says with a huge smile.
“Leila you came!” I say, happy to see her.
“Of course I came, I wasn’t going to miss out on all this food and oh my god you have a big family. Pretty sure we met half of the island” she says giggling.
“Where’s Reese at?”
“He’s over there with the guys,” she says. “So, your sister says that we missed out on some serious family drama.”
I roll my eyes and say “It wasn’t too bad. There’s been worse happen before.”
“Sina, Megan, Mona, and your cousin June-Bug told me everything, and by the way I love June-Bug and I want to keep him” she says.
“You met him?”
She gives me a huge smile and says “Yes! And he was hitting on Reese, I’m sure he made him blush a few times so Luka took him to where the other guys were at.” We both laugh and she grabs my hand and pulls me over to where Mama and Mrs. Hunter are sitting.
Mama sees us and smiles, “You girls okay?”
“Yes Mrs. Peterson. I wanted to introduce Sina to Mama Hunter” Leila says excitedly. I have seen Eli’s mother before but I’ve never met her. I do know that she and Daddy dated before Mama and Daddy started dating though. Mrs. Hunter smiles at me and I see so much of Eli in her.
“Hi sweetheart. It’s finally good to meet you” she says.
I feel my heart smiling “Nice to meet you as well Mrs. Hunter.”
“You can call me Eliza, or Mama Hunter.”
“Mama H it is” I say laughing.
Mama looks at me and asks “Where’s Emma at? I haven’t seen her since we’ve got here.”
“She’s with Grandpa talking stories,” I say.
Leila sees Megan and Mona setting up games for the kids and she says “I’m going to go help set up. Want to come?”
“You go ahead; I’ll meet you in a bit.” I watch them laugh at whatever Leila is talking about and it makes me a little sad because I know I’m going to miss them so much when we leave.
Mama gets up from her seat and says, “I will be right back Eliza, let me go make sure that the boys aren’t burning the meat.” She walks off to check on the boys and I make my way to her chair that is now vacant.
“How are you holding up sweetheart?”
I look over at Mama H and say, “I’ve been worse, but I’ll be okay.”
She covers my hand with hers and asks, “When do you leave?”
“We fly out Monday.”
“Are you ready to leave home?”
“I dreaded coming back, and I am glad we came. But I am so ready to leave.” I tell her honestly.
“You know, I know my son cares a lot about you, but with everything that’s now going on in his life, you my love deserve more than just words even if they are my sons” she says. I’m not sure how to respond to her so I just sit there while she holds my hand. “Sweetheart, Elijah has told me everything that has been going on since you’ve been back. And I’m upset with him that he even had a hand in hurting you, but between you and me, it’s all catching up to him and he’s dealing with it. But I wanted to thank you for not letting him get his way.” I sigh. “Did he tell you that he’s going to have a baby with that girl?” she asks with a sour face.
“Yes. It hurts, but there’s nothing I can do about it. I just want him to live an honest and happy life.” I say trying to school my face and not show her how broken I am over it.
She pulls me in for a hug and says, “He definitely lost a good one in you.”
I smile at her and ask, “Is it weird that I have all these feelings for him when I hardly know him?”
“It’s not weird at all. Sometimes two people can be strangers, but the soul knows when it finds its soulmate” she says.
“I’m glad you came Mrs. Hunter.”
“I’m glad I got to meet the girl who stole my son's heart,” she says and we sit there watching everything that’s going on, with my heart heavy.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Eli
I watch Sina walk over to Lei and release the breath I’ve been holding. When she told me that all she wanted was for me to live a happy life, I wanted to grab her by her beautiful face and kiss her with everything that I had in me and tell her that she was my happy. I wanted her to know that in the short period of time we have spent together, that everything that I once wanted for my life didn’t exist anymore. Somehow she became my lifeline, when I’m around her she makes breathing so much easier. I feel my chest tightening a little and I know it’s because she’s giving me another easy way out like she did the last time she walked away from me. The only thing different about it this time is that it feels final and real. She didn’t have to tell me that she felt the same way I do about her, and it wouldn’t have been fair if I had asked her for her feelings. I’m not ready to join everyone so I sit by the water for a little while longer. My thoughts are all over the place, my heart aching for Sina, and breathing doesn't feel the same anymore. I’m so lost in my head that I don’t even realize that someone is sitting down next to me until I hear humming. I look to my left and am completely shocked when I see Sina’s mother sitting there with her eyes closed. I’m not sure what to do, so I just sit there looking out at the water.
“You’re in love with our daughter” Mrs. Peterson says.
I take a deep breath and say, “With my soul.” I know she’s watching me because I can feel her eyes on me. “I didn’t mean to disrespect or hurt her Mrs. Peterson.”
She reaches over and grabs my hand “Rita, you can call me Rita” she says with a smile that nearly splits my heart in half. I’m having a hard time breathing because when I look at her I see an older and beautiful version of my Sina. “I know you didn’t mean to hurt her, but it happened” she says in a motherly tone.
I feel her squeeze my hand as she says, “You remind me so much of my husband.” I know she isn’t done talking yet, so I sit here and wait for her to continue. “I may not know you that well, but I saw the way you looked at my daughter. Her father used to look at me the same exact way, even after being married for thirty years” she says. I should have felt uncomfortable since Mama used to date Mr. Peterson, but I don’t feel anything except love and sadness for Mrs. Peterson.
“He used to make me cry when we first realized that we had feelings for each other. He was that guy that every girl wanted, but his charming ways always got him in trouble”, she says looking at me. I’m not sure if she’s comparing me to him, but I don’t say anything. “But, because I loved him with all of me I couldn’t get myself to stop falling in love with him. So, I moved to go live with my grandparents for the rest of my freshman and sophomore year.”
She smiles at me and continues to tell me their story. “When I moved back here my junior year he was dating your mother. I knew Eliza had always been in love with Ioane so I left them alone. If it were another girl who I didn’t care for, I may have broken them up” she says laughing. “But your mom deserved a chance at love just as much as anyone else did.”
I watch her for a second then ask, “What happened?”
Rita takes a breath and says, “Sometimes we can’t help who our hearts love.”
“Did he cheat on my mother?” I ask, getting upset.
She gives me a sad look and says, “No, he was an ass, but he wasn’t the type to ever cheat on a girl. He was honest with your mother about how he was still in love with me, and he felt terrible because he loved her just not the right way.” I feel my heart kick a little. “Then one day your mother cornered me and threatened me that if I ever broke Ioane’s heart she would hunt me down and beat my face in,” she says with a smile.
I look at her with my mouth wide open, “She said that?”
Rita laughs and says, “Oh yeah, she meant it too. I knew she was in love with him, so I made a promise that I would love him forever for the both of us.” My shoulders fall a little because I’m sad for my mother. “But everything changed when she met Eric” she says with a genuine smile.
I give her a surprised look and ask, “You knew my father?”
“Of course I knew him; he was my lab partner who had been in love with your mother since they were in middle school.”
I chuckle, “Did you hook my parents up Miss Rita?”
She laughs proudly and says, “I sure did, after their first date your mother told me that I could love my husband for myself, and that she was ready to love someone else with her heart. And the rest is history.”
I take a deep breath and ask, “Why are you telling me this?”
She takes a breath of her own and says, “Because I see how much you’re hurting, and how much my daughter is doing her best to hold herself together.”
I lean forward with my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands. “I don’t know what to do. It’s like we take a couple steps forward, and then we get knocked five hundred steps backwards. I’m in love with your daughter Rita, but I’m having a baby with Becca” I say with a hole in my heart. “I want to fight for us, but I know it’s not fair for her.”
She wraps her arm around my shoulder and says, “Then you let her go Eli.”
I close my eyes and feel them stinging. “But I don’t know how, I just got her and now I have to let her go. I just want her to know my love, I want her to know she has my heart” I hear my voice crack. “She’s always going to do the right thing, even if it means she gives up her happiness huh.”
Rita pulls me in a little for a side hug and says, “She gets that part from her father, and I will forever love her for having a big heart.”
I stand up and take her by her hand, “I am truly sorry for hurting her.”
She squeezes and says, “I know you are, things will work themselves out. You just have to be patient.”
Blowing out a long breath I say, “I’ll let her go for now, but I will never give up on her. I just have to do things the right way this time. I want to love your daughter the right way.”
I see tears in her eyes and she says, “Pray on it and everything will fall into place, even if it means you and our daughter aren’t together. You will have a good life Eli.”
I feel another kick in my chest and say, “It has to be with her, it just has to be.”
She smiles at me. “Let your heart guide you sweetheart.” And she pulls me in for a motherly hug “You’re a good man Eli, and you will be an amazing father” she says. I hold her tighter with my heart stuck in my throat. “Now come on, let’s go enjoy the rest of the day with those crazy people'' she says laughing.
I smile at her and say “Let’s do it Miss Rita.” We make our way to our families and I hold onto Mrs. Peterson's hand because I know Sina is no longer mine, and it feels like my heart is being ripped out of my chest.
Chapter Thirty
Sina
It’s hot but no one complains because we’re all having such an amazing time. With everything that has happened since I have been here, I needed this badly. I wasn’t sure if Eli had left because I didn’t see him when I walked away from him again it hurt but I knew it was the right thing to do. There was no need to drag it out any longer. I wasn’t bitter that Becca was carrying a life that she and Eli created, but it made me sad because I wanted it to be me. I knew Eli loved me because I saw it in his eyes and heard it in every single word he spoke. As much as I wanted to tell him that I had fallen in love with him, I knew the timing was wrong and it wouldn’t have been fair for the baby or Becca. So I walked away.
I’m stuck in my head until I hear Mona yell, “Sina, are you playing?”
I smile at her and shout back, “Uh yeah!”
She shakes her head laughing and says, “We’re doing teams so it’s me and Leila, you and Megan, Reese is with Luka, Daniel’s with Micah.”
I look over and Micah says, “Nah, I’m not feeling too good Sis, so Daniel has to play with someone else and Colin doesn’t want to play because he’ s playing with the kids.”
I walk up to him and ask, “Are you okay Brother?”
He smiles down at me and says, “I’m coo’ Sis, just tired.” I’ve noticed since I’ve been back that he hasn’t been eating like he usually does and looks like he’s been losing weight.
I give him a sad look and ask, “Are you lying to me Micah Peterson?”
He gives me a sad smile and says, “I would never lie to you Sis.”
I wrap my arms around his waist and say, “I love you brother.”
He hugs me tighter and says, “To the moon and back.” I don’t know what’s wrong, but I know Micah has been very standoffish since I’ve been back and I’m going to find out why. He lets me go and calls out, “Eli, you can be on Daniel’s team.” I feel my heart beat a little faster and I take a deep breath to steady myself.
Eli starts to shake his head no but Luka cuts him off, “Come on E, D needs all the help he can get.” Everyone starts laughing and Eli looks at me to see if it’s okay.
I smile at him and say, “This will be an easy win.”
Eli smiles at me and I feel the air knock out of my lungs as he says, “Oh you’re going down mini.”
I give him my oh-no-you-didn’t look and growl, “Do not call me mini.”
Micah laughs out loud and says, “It’s about to go down yo!” I hear Mona, Megan and Leila start to cackle at our back and forth.
I look over at my sister and say, “You better not suck Megan.”
She looks at me and starts laughing harder, “You know damn well that we never make a good team, so don’t expect to win this Sis” she says.
Mona laughs and says, “June-Bug you want to play, or do you want to be the ref?”
June-Bug gives her the stink eye and says “Hell nah, I am not trying to sweat. I’ll be the ref, we all know how the boys always cheat and shit.”
“Bro, we don’t cheat, we’re just good at this game” Daniel says with a cocky grin.
Mona rolls her eyes and says, “Alright babe, when June-Bug makes a call that ass better listen.”
Daniel looks at her and says, “I always listen Babe.”
We all roll our eyes at his bullshit and say “Yeah right” all at the same time. And the guys start laughing because they know we’re right.
June-Bug steps in the center and says, “Who’s up first?”
I stand there pulling my hair up in a ponytail when I hear Eli say, “We’ll go first.” I look over at him and the guys are already celebrating as if they’ve won already.
I roll my eyes again and say, “I don’t know why you guys are acting like they won. They have to play in order for them to win, which they won’t.”
Micah says, “Oh shit, shits about to get serious guys.” The boys start laughing and I give them both of my middle fingers.
Megan steps closer to me and says, “How about you play with Mona, that way she can distract D and you can totally beat Eli’s ass.” I look at her and she says, “He’s giving you the cocky I’ll beat you look Sis.” I move to turn but she stops me, “Don’t look, he's looking right now.”
“Okay trade teams and thanks for stepping out because I didn’t want to lose,” I say with a laugh..
Megan arches an eyebrow, looks at me and says “Don’t be a bitch.” I smile and wink at her.
�
��Mona trade me, I don’t want to be Sina’s partner” Megan says. Mona looks at her and I see my sister wink. Leila giggles and Mona walks and stops in her spot.
We look at each other and she says, “Like old times?”
I give her a shit eating grin and say, “Hell yeah.”
June-Bug breaks our huddle and says “Alright, no cheating fellas. Ladies, no scratching eyes out.” The guys chuckle and June-Bug let’s go of the ball and it bounces off the pole. Yup!! When it came to playing tether ball, we take it seriously. Well, more like us girls do. We grew up playing this game, and I mentally make a note in my head to buy one for Emma. “GO!” June-Bug yells and just as I go to hit the ball, I swing too hard and miss. I feel my knuckles hit something hard and I’m not sure what because I’m too busy nursing my damn hand. I hear everyone laughing and when I look up to see why, I realize that I’ve punched Eli in his nose and it’s now pouring with blood. Whoops.I can’t help it but laugh along with everyone else.
Luka looks at me and says “Wow, you hate losing that much, you punched him in the face?” I can’t stop laughing. I look over and the girls are laughing harder than I am. I see Mama walking over to Eli with a towel with an ice-pack.
“Let me see'' she tells him. He takes the towel and wipes off his face. “Here put this on your face so it won’t swell up” Mama says.
Mrs. Hunter walks and stands next to Mama and says “Well, if I were Sina I would have punched you too.” She looks at Mama and they both start laughing.
Eli looks at me and mouths ‘You're going to get yours’ and he walks off with the guys.
Micah looks at us and says, “Damn bullies.” And we laugh all over again.
It’s getting dark and everyone’s excited for the bonfire. Mama, Mrs. Hunter, Grandpa Tali, Auntie Claire and the rest of the older folks are sitting on the other side of the fire talking stories. I feel a little sad in my heart because Daddy is missing. Some of the older folks left because they said it was too cold and some of my cousins left too because they had newborn babies and needed to get them home and into bed. I’m surprised to see that Eli and his mother have stayed back and are sitting around the fire with everyone else. I’m happy that Mama and Mrs. Hunter have each other, because I’m sure they’re both lonely.