Pieces of Me

by Pua Ramona

“I had to know if I needed to kick his ass after we took care of everything” I say with a shrug.

  Reese, Daniel, and Michael all chuckle. The only thing I find is a picture of me from when we just graduated out of high school. I look at Reese and he says, “I gave it to her a few months back when she was here for their family reunion.” The ache in my heart lessens a little.

  “Anything?” Marino asks.

  “Nothing.” I say feeling frustrated.

  I pass the purse to Reese and ask him “Could you lock that in your trunk for me Bro?”

  He heads off over to his car. I spot her phone sitting in the cup holder. I’m not sure if I’m going to find anything, but it doesn’t hurt to try, so I start going through her missed call list and her text messages. She has several missed calls from a number that isn’t saved under her contacts, so I keep scrolling. There are missed calls from me, Lei, Reese and Mama. Shit! I completely got distracted and forgot to call Mama. I’ll do that as soon as I have the time. I click out of her calls, and open her text messages. There are several from Lei, Mama, Reese, and a couple from her Mama and Megan. I click on one from the same number listed in her missed calls list. Weird. It must be from one of her friends. I open it, expecting to see some girly shit.

  Instead my hands begin to shake as I read the words on the screen.

  Unknown Number : I need to see you soon.

  Sina: Who is this?

  Unknown Number: Jax ;)

  Unknown Number: Meet me at the lake later tonight. No one will believe you. So if you don’t want anyone to know why you really left eight years ago, then you’ll be there. Don’t keep me waiting.

  I am going to kill this motherfucker. This piece of fucking shit. He’s the reason she started acting differently when I found her crying in the truck at her parent’s house. He’s the reason she started flinching when I tried to touch her. He’s the motherfucker that raped her eight years ago, and he was brave enough to fucking do it again tonight.

  My heart is beating so fucking hard that it feels like my blood is boiling. I am losing my fucking shit and I don’t give a fuck if I kill him. He fucking forced himself on her and left her all beaten, broken and a bloody mess.

  His own fucking blood.

  “What is it?” Luka asks, watching my reaction to looking at her phone. I take a deep breath to steady myself.

  “Do you have Jax’s number?” I ask.

  “Nah! But I know someone who does” he says with a frown.

  “What’s going on man?” Reese asks, sensing my mood.

  I don’t answer Reese because I need to be sure that this Jax is the same one that was at the Peterson’s house. “Luka, I need to get his number.”

  He looks at me and says, “Why, does he know what happened?”

  “Luka, get me his number right fucking now.”

  He clicked on someone’s number and waited for them to answer.

  “June-Bug, can I get your brother’s number?” Luka asks.

  I can’t hear what June-Bug’s says, but Luka starts repeating the numbers and they match.

  I was see fucking red; I’m going to kill him. I need to hit something, so I punch my window out. “Fuck!” I shout. I walk to the back of my truck and grab the bat that Reese and I used to use when we went batting. I start swinging the bat around in a fit of rage.

  I’m going to fucking kill him!” I launch the bat and walk around to the passenger side of the truck and punch that window out too.

  Luka locks his arms around me and says, “E! Stop! You’re no good to my sister if someone calls the fucking cops.”

  I can’t breathe. I wanted to fucking find him and kill him. I take a breath and centre myself and ask, “What’s Jax’s whole name?”

  “Jackson, why?” Daniel asks.

  “It was him,” I say as Reese makes a strangled choking sound.

  “What was him?” Luka asks bewildered. I look at Marino and I can see that he knows what I mean when I say that it was Jackson.

  “Fuck!” I look at Reese as he struggles to rein in his anger..

  “Jax is Jackson. Jackson’s the one that raped her eight years ago. It was his name that Sina said when she passed out the day her and Michael had that fall out at Pixie’s. She had a nightmare at her Mama’s the next day too. Lei tried to wake her; she was calling out in her sleep for Lei to run so that Jackson couldn’t get her. She’s fucking terrified of him.” Reese says.

  Luka is having a hard time processing this information, and so is Daniel.

  Reese looks at Luka and says “This isn’t the first time he raped her, man. The first time was the same day she found out that she was pregnant with Emma.”

  “Shit! It was the same day she found out about me and Becca” Michael says. His shoulders fall and I know he feels guilty. It’s crazy how everything is connected and to think that my girl fucking survived all of it eight years ago, alone breaks my heart.

  “June-Bug, do you know where Jax is at?” Luka asks, calling his cousin back. “Thanks, Uso. Do me a favor? Don’t tell him that I’m looking for him. I’ll hit you up later. Love you too.”

  Luka hangs up and says “He’s at Sparky’s with some of our cousins.”

  Sparky’s is another bar, but it’s only thirty minutes away. I start walking over to Reese’s car.

  “What’s the plan?” Marino asks, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

  I look over my shoulder and say, “Leave him to me.”

  I look at Luka and Daniel. “I need to do this. You guy’s won’t be good to your Mama and sisters from behind bars” I tell them. I know they want to handle it, but Miss Rita and the girls need them to be here and not in prison. They both look at me and nod their heads in agreement.

  Reese is already starting the car. Marino and Michael climb into the back seats.

  “We’ll meet you guys there,” Luka says. He pounds on the top of the car and then he and Daniel run to his SUV.

  Chapter Sixty-Two

  Sina

  I wasn’t sure how long Daddy and I were walking for, but somehow we ended up at the lake. The sun felt so good and the breeze was just right. I stopped and took a deep breath. “It’s a good day to die,” Daddy said.

  I looked at him and asked “Why would you say that? Am I dying?” I freaked out.

  Daddy started laughing. “See, you need to learn how to relax Sina” he said.

  “Daddy, I can’t relax when you say things like that to me,” I chide. But he laughed again anyway. I rolled my eyes at him.

  “I’m surprised that your eyes haven’t fallen out of your head yet.”

  I rolled them again and said “Because, I’m rolling them right.” We laughed together and I said, “I missed you Daddy.”

  He smiled at me and sighed. “I missed you too Sina.” We walked to our spot by the lake and took a seat on our rock. “Do you know why you’re here Sina?”.

  “I don’t know anything anymore,” I said quietly. He looked out at the water then back at me.

  “You’re here because you asked me to help you,” he said as he leant his arm against mine.

  “Help me what?”

  “To help you ease the pain” he said and I gave him a confused look. “Do you remember what happened to you? Why are you here with me instead with Emma and everyone else?” he asked.

  “That’s the thing Daddy. I don’t know where I’m at or why I’m even here, not that I’m complaining” I add on because seeing him again filled my soul with a peace that it hasn’t felt for years.

  “What is the last thing you remembered before you ended up here?” he asked. I was getting frustrated, because I couldn’t really remember. “Breathe Sina, then remember why you were at the lake. Take a deep breath, and remember.” He said again. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “What happened the last time you were here, Sina?” Daddy whispered.

  “Choose me!” Eli? Why can I hear him again now?

  “What do you remember?” Daddy pushes me to delve into my
memories again.

  “I don’t know.” I said, defeated.

  “Do you see or hear anyone there with you?” Daddy pushes again, “How did you end up here? Why would your brothers and Reese beg you to come back? Did you leave them? Why did you leave them Sina?”

  Images started playing in my head. “I remember the smell of blood” I choked on a sob.

  “Who’s blood?” he asked. Then it all hit me at once.

  “Jackson did this to me, Daddy. He hurt me.” I cried. I opened my eyes and said “He raped me again, Daddy.” He had tears in his eyes.

  “I’m so sorry that I wasn’t there to protect you Sina.” He embraced me in his arms and I cried.

  I remembered. I remembered it all.

  I remembered Jackson hitting me, and being in and out of consciousness. I remembered crying for Daddy to help me, but Eli came instead. “I cried for you Daddy, and you sent Eli to me.” I told him through my tears.

  Daddy smiled. “Sina, you don’t need me to save or protect you anymore. Eli is the love that you have been praying for since you were a little girl. Do you remember your first time at the lake with me?”

  I couldn’t stop my tears. “Yes.” I said. Because I did. He smiled at me.

  “What did you ask for that day?” He said soothingly.

  “I prayed for a true love like Mama had. I prayed that my true love would be someone that will love me through everything. Someone that will keep me safe, someone that will love me unconditionally the way you loved Mama.” I was only ten. I can’t believe he still remembered all of that.

  “I’m sorry that it took so long, but you had to be ready to accept the fact that I can’t be there for you the way I used to be. I knew Eli was the one for you because he reminded me so much of myself when I first fell in love with your mother” he said.

  “How do you know who Eli is?” I asked and Daddy laughed.

  “I’ve never met him in person Sina, but I have always been there, you just couldn’t see me,” he said with a small smile.

  I realized this was the closure I needed and it could feel that it was almost time for me to say goodbye. “You will be fine sweetheart. Everything that you have been through and everything that you have fought for, brought you to me, here and now Sina. I wish that you had been given an easier path with less pain and heartache, but your story was already written before you were even born. Let Eli in your heart and trust him to keep it safe.”

  Daddy wrapped his arms around me and he held me for the last time. “Nothing can be hidden under the sun. Don’t ever forget that Sina. Do you remember what I used to tell you, your sister, and brothers?” he asked.

  I nodded my head yes. “Mark 4:22. For everything hidden is meant to be revealed, and everything concealed is meant to be brought to light.” Daddy smiled at me proudly.

  “Don’t let this break you.” Daddy said with tears in his eyes. “I will always be with you Sina, no matter where you are I will always be with you.”

  “I love you Daddy and thank you for watching over me” I kissed him on his cheek and said “Thank you for loving me through and through.”

  He took my hand and whispered “Wake up.”

  My feet were moving but I didn’t know where I was going. I stopped and turned around so I could see him one more time and both of my hands flew to my mouth. It wasn’t just Daddy standing in the light anymore, Micah was standing next to him with a baby wrapped in a blue blanket, and an older version of Eli. He looked happy. Micah wasn’t suffering anymore. He was smiling. My heart felt light, so light that I could breathe without having to catch my breath. Micah looked like my Micah again. Healthy, glowing and peaceful.

  “I love you brat” he said.

  Tears were soaking my cheeks. I blew him a kiss and said “I love you too.”

  “Okay Doll-face, if you can hear me then your little cute ass better wake up.”

  I started looking around, I knew that voice. I looked over my shoulder and the men in my life were still standing there smiling.

  “Wake up Sis. Everything’s going to be fine” Micah said. I waved goodbye and I felt someone’s hand take mine.

  “That’s it doll-face, open those pretty eyes for me.” I can’t open my eyes or move, but I know I’m still here. “Come on pretty girl.” I sigh recognizing Nurse Annies voice. “We need you to be okay, Sina” she says to me and I want so badly to tell her that I’m here, but I guess my brain and my body aren’t ready to function yet. But it’s okay with me, because I know I’m going to be okay after tonight.

  I am still alive, and that’s all that matters.

  I am alive.

  Chapter Sixty-Three

  Eli

  It takes us exactly thirty minutes to get to Sparky’s bar. My head is pretty messed up right now, and my heart is taken over by anger and hate. My hands are already bloody and starting to swell up, but that doesn’t stop me from going after Jackson. How did I not figure this shit out sooner? How did I not know that Jackson and Jax were the same guy? How many girls has he raped and gotten away with? My blood pressure is fucking shot; I am fresh out of patience. I need to find him. Jackson isn’t a small guy, he’s a few inches taller than me and is a little stocky. But that doesn’t mean shit to me. Big or not, I am still going to fuck him up.

  Reese parks the car and I get out before the engine stops. I hear Marino call out to me. “Eli!” But I don’t stop. I have a mission and that mission is to fucking annihilate Jackson. I’m a few steps away from the door when I feel a hand gripping my arm. My hands automatically formed into fists. I’m getting ready to swing, but realize that it’s Luka and Daniel standing at the side of the bar.

  “Bro!” Luka says.

  “Let me go, I need to get inside,” I growl. I’m desperate to get to Jackson and they all know it. I know my head isn’t on straight and I’m running on sheer fucking hatred but I don’t give a fuck if I end up in prison. I would do it all over again if it meant that she could be safe and he would be fucking dead.

  “I’ll handle it,” Luka says.

  I stop him with my hand on his chest and say, “No! She’ll need you when she wakes up Luka.”

  “She’s going to need you too,” he tells me.

  I can’t let what he says affect me. “Luka, I’ve done nothing to make things better for her. You can stand there and tell me that I have, but it won’t stop me from going in there and ripping his goddamn head off. She’s lost a lot. I told her that I was going to fix it, so that’s what I came here to fucking do” I tell him.

  Luka is used to saving his family and I understand why he wants to do this himself. But I also want him to know that I’m willing to sacrifice myself to save Sina, because she’s my whole life. People may think that I’m being fucking crazy and that I should let the police deal with it, but I don’t care. I know for a fact if it were someone else in my shoes they would do the same thing for the one that they loved. You just know when you find the right person, and trust me Sina is the missing piece in my life and that’s all I need to know that she’s good enough for me.

  “If anyone jumps in we got your back Uso” Daniel says. “But they should know better than fucking involve themselves. You do what you have to do and we’ll make sure to get you out in one piece before the cops get here.”

  The music is loud and the place is pretty packed. No one seems to notice us walking in, and that’s probably a good thing. Because if Jackson finds out that we’re here he’ll know why and he’ll probably run like the bitch that he is. We make sure to blend in with everyone else. There are a few people here that we know, then there are girls who try to stop us for a conversation but we’re on a mission tonight and none of us have the time or patience for this shit.

  “Hey handsome.” A girl purrs as she steps into my path. I don’t know who she is but she fucking irritates me. “My name’s Jenny,” she says. She places her hands on my chest and it pisses me off because she isn’t Sina.

  Before she can say anything e
lse I cut her off and sneer, “I didn’t ask you for your name.” I see her hand fly toward my face just as Megan appears out of nowhere and blocks her hit.

  “Put your fucking hands on him, and I swear you’ll regret it.” Jessie, Jenny whatever the fuck her name is laughs, pulling her arm back to swing at me again, but she takes Megans fist to her face before she can even touch me.

  “I warned you, you dumb rat.” Megan snarled at her as she held her cheek and ran off to her friends.

  “What are you doing here?” I ask Megan, still surveying the crowds for Jacksons fucking face.

  “Shut up and thank me for saving your ass” she says rolling her eyes.

  I kiss the top of her head and say “Glad you showed up because I would’ve knocked her ass out if she had actually hit me.” I don’t mean it, but my gratitude pacifies Megan's mood.

  “How did you know we were here Sis?” Luka asks, catching up to us.

  “June-Bug told me that you called him, so I asked him to drive me here. So I’m here” she says.

  We don’t have time for this conversation so I start walking toward the back of the bar where the pool tables are. The closer I get, the more I can see that there are two tables full of people, some of whom I recognize from the reunion. It doesn’t faze me, I’m too fucking angry at this point to care who’s sitting at the tables alongside that piece of shit.

  “Yo Jax! What happened to your face? Did a cat scratch you?” Some guy asks him, and I feel my heart start to pound.

  “Nah! I fucked some bitch and she couldn’t handle my dick inside her pussy, so she scratched me. You should see her though.” Jackson says with sick delight.

  “She probably can’t even walk, huh Uce!” says the same guy.

  “She’s either at the lake where I fucked her, or at home trying to wash my come off her ass.” He snorts back.

  I lose it.

  I grab him by his neck and slam his face onto the felt of the pool table.

  “What the fuck?” he says. I don’t let go of his neck and I slam his face into the table a second time, angling his head to hit the corner perfectly. I feel hands on me but they quickly disappear thanks to my guys. I have both hands on Jackson so I lift his ass up and throw him onto the floor of the bar.