Hush

by Jay Lang

  I stand up with my meal barely touched and walk into the kitchen. Annie follows me to the sink. “Jade, there’s something else.”

  “What now? Is your name not really Annie?”

  She laughs. I don’t think she can hear the anger in my tone, though I don’t hide it well. “Don’t be silly. Can you come back to the couch with me for a sec?”

  She takes my hand and leads me to the sofa. “What is it, Annie?” I say, my voice cold. “I don’t know how many more surprises I can handle tonight.”

  Annie puts her hands on mine. Her face is more serious now. “Jade, I know things have been really crazy lately and hard on both of us, but I’ve been thinking.” She takes a breath. “It doesn’t matter how I came to be pregnant. What matters now is that a baby is coming.” She pauses. I stare at her, confused. She smiles at me, and her eyes are suddenly shining. “I want them to be born into a loving environment. With two parents.”

  I look in her sparkling blue eyes. “What are you trying to say?”

  She smiles, and a tear rolls down her cheek. “Will you adopt the baby when they’re born?”

  I had honestly never considered this. It hadn’t occurred to me that it was something I should do. Too much has been happening. I knew there’s a baby coming, but that was later down the road, as far as I was concerned. The present was taken up with Denny, with Annie, with a frigging murder investigation.

  But, as I stare into her eyes, I remember what matters to me the most, Annie. Her unborn child is a part of her and no matter what, I can’t change that. If I want to be a family with Annie, adopting the baby is my only choice.

  “Of course, I will,” I say, grabbing her and pulling her into me. My anger is gone.

  Chapter Eleven

  With the wedding fast approaching and the baby in the distant—but not really so distant—future, Annie decides to look for a temporary job to bulk up our bank account. She asks around the small businesses of the island, looking for ones that are hiring. After a couple of weeks of looking, she finally gets lucky. There’s a small flower shop a few miles from the ferry terminal offering a part time position. It is right up Annie’s alley. She loves plants and flowers.

  I’m happy about the news, too. She’ll be close to home and I’ll see her every day, not like when she would go off to work in Vancouver.

  Finally, it’s two days before the wedding. As soon as I walk in the door from work, Annie drags me into the bedroom, which looks like a disaster zone. She has apparently taken every item of clothing she owns and displays it on every surface.

  Annie tries on different outfits and parades them in front of me. She looks good in everything, which apparently is the wrong thing to say. Eventually she chooses a mid-length pink chiffon dress, which looks exactly as good as every other dress she tried on, but I have enough sense to keep my mouth shut.

  Next, she focuses on me. I personally don’t care if I get married in camos, a t-shirt and a pair of Keds—it’s laid-back, come-as-you-are Gabriola, not West Vancouver—but again, I keep my mouth shut. After going through my tiny wardrobe, Annie picks out something that she likes, but that I’ll be comfortable in, as well. Black slacks, a pink dress shirt, and a black blazer.

  We’ve hired a local caterer to bring all the food to the cottage after the ceremony. As for our rings, Annie has been really good about waiting. We agree to use her engagement ring for the ceremony. It’s going to take a while before I can afford wedding bands. I think about Denny, about his offer to help if I was in financial trouble, but I dismiss the thought immediately. I don’t want any part of my father’s money, especially to pay for a wedding that would disgust him.

  I try calling my mom and aunt, but only manage to reach a cousin—apparently the sisters went on an Alaskan boat cruise and won’t be back in time for the wedding. Though I’m disappointed, I’m happy to hear that my mother is doing things she never got to do when Dad was alive. No matter how much money they had, she was never allowed to go on vacation without him.

  I just wish I could invite Denny. No matter how messed up he is, he’s still my brother, and when he’s on his meds he actually acts like it. However, I know Annie would lose her mind. I know she still thinks Denny was in cahoots with Robbie that night. I’m not convinced. I’ve known my brother a lot longer than she has.

  * * *

  Finally, the day of the wedding arrives, and it’s raining, of course. We have to be at the church at 1 PM sharp, dressed and ready to roll. We don’t have many guests coming—the old couple from Annie’s new job, Tim and my boss, and that’s about all. Annie bought Stinky a bow tie to wear. We’ve decided that he should be up at the altar with us. I just pray he keeps his gas under control.

  After I have a shower, I carefully dress, making sure that I don’t wrinkle my outfit. When I’m done, I slip into my shiny loafers and then help Annie get into her dress. She hardly looks real. She looks like a damsel on a romance book cover. Her blonde hair cascades over her shoulders like a river, and she is wearing just enough makeup to enhance her natural features. She slips on her singback pumps, then fastens the bow tie to Stinky’s neck. He tries several times to eat it before coming to terms with his costume.

  When we’re ready to go to the church, I walk to the door and open it. Annie looks up at me. Her eyes are wide—almost fearful. “Jade, are you a hundred percent sure this is what you want? I mean…if you have any reservations about marrying me today, now is the time to speak up.”

  I look at the beautiful woman in front of me in disbelief. She can’t be serious. “That’s such a stupid question, Annie. You know how crazy I am about you.”

  “I just want to make sure that you are positive about committing to both me and the baby.”

  “Annie, I’d travel to the ends of the world for you, no matter what damn condition you’re in.”

  “Even with the baby?”

  “Do you mean our baby?”

  “That’s the one, yeah.” She smiles and then gives me a long kiss.

  “I love you,” I tell her.

  “Good. Otherwise, this whole wedding thing could kind of go to shit.”

  We park in the back lot of the church. I hold an umbrella over Annie while we walk around to the main entrance. The first person we see is Tim. He’s at the front of the church, trying to stay dry under the eave while having a smoke. He says hello to Annie then gives me a quick hug. “I’m not drunk,” he whispers. “I’m waiting until the reception.”

  “I’ll take it,” I whisper back.

  We go to the pastor’s office and make sure that we have all the paperwork in order. Then he launches into a lesson of where to stand and what to say when we give our vows.

  The past weeks have flown by so quickly, with all the clamber and stress, that the impact of this moment is just hitting me now. I keep looking over at Annie for any signs of anxiety or regret. She looks happy and connected. I can’t believe this is actually happening. Annie is going to marry me—me. We will be bound together, forever.

  We have our issues, but doesn’t everyone? She’s not one hundred percent forthright with me sometimes, but nobody’s perfect.

  Annie and I follow the pastor to the front of the church. Annie’s boss and his wife hand us a beautiful bouquet of fresh flowers from their store. Tim stands with my boss at the front pew. I smile wide, though a part of me twinges—there’s a pew at the front that looks very, very empty to me.

  After receiving a few chuckles for flubbing up the vows, the pastor says the words I’ve waited forever to hear.

  “By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you wife and wife. May I introduce Mrs. and Mrs. Jade and Annie Banks.”

  Annie and I kiss, probably—definitely—longer than required.

  The rain stops and breaks of blue sky reflect in fresh puddles as we make our way to the truck. Annie slides in beside me and then Stinky jumps in beside her, smearing mud all over her chiffon dress.

  “How are you, Mrs. Banks?” I ask.


  “I’m doing great, Mrs. Banks.”

  Back at our place, Stinky disappears into the bushes along the side of the yard. He’s a dedicated squirrel hunter but is yet to be a legitimate squirrel catcher. Annie and I go inside and get ready for our guests. As I watch her change out of her beautiful dress, it takes all my power to keep my hands off her. We haven’t got the time. The food will be here soon and so will everyone else.

  After dressing in jeans and t-shirts with our hair in ponytails, we greet the food people and set up the kitchen table buffet style. Soon, people arrive, Tim and the boss man show up with Hank in tow. Tim announces that Hank came along so he could be the designated driver. I don’t mind. He did, after all, help me fix my tire.

  Next to arrive are Annie’s new bosses, Maybell and Henry. Stinky runs in behind them and jumps on Maybell, almost knocking her over and streaking her long overcoat with mud. I apologize and take the dog into the bathroom to clean his paws.

  Annie puts on a classic rock compilation CD and everyone grabs some grub and a chair. Tim already has a glass of whiskey going. He raises the glass and congratulates us, smiling as if he is only drinking to celebrate our marriage. Nice try, Tim.

  A couple of hours later, the bosses have left and Tim has gotten louder. The rest of us congregate in the front room. The night rolls on with jokes and stories. I look at my watch, it’s already 9 PM. The last ferry leaves at 10:35, so they’ll be leaving soon, and I can finally be alone with my new wife.

  In the middle of Tim telling us a slurred version of a bar joke, Stinky suddenly jumps off the couch where Annie was petting him and runs to the front door. He starts barking, intensifying with every second.

  “Let me guess, Stinky, there’s a mean old squirrel out there with your name on it?” says Annie.

  I walk up behind him and shake my head. “Hush,” I tell him. “I’ll let you out, you don’t need to be so dramatic.”

  I open the door and the dog bolts out. Then, I see Denny. He’s walking across the yard, toward me.

  I try to speak, but nothing comes out. This is bad. This is very bad. The door is still open behind me. There’s no chance I can close the door behind me without alerting Annie. She will see him in seconds, and there’s piss all I can do about it.

  When Denny doesn’t pet Stinky, the dog loses interest and runs past him into the yard. Denny keeps coming, my eyes on his as he climbs the steps. As soon as he’s in front of me, he hands me and envelope and winks. “Thanks for the invite, sis,” he says, his voice laced with sarcasm. “I had to find out through our cousin in Winnipeg.”

  “Denny, you should have called,” I whisper. He’s not listening, or if he is, he’s not acknowledging what I’ve said. He walks past me, into the room, and stands in front of our guests and Annie.

  Oh fuck. I push past him and try to stand in a way that is both next to him and between him and the guests. I glance at Annie. Her face has gone from smiling to instant rage. I know I need to do something, but my mind is drawing a complete blank.

  “Jade.” She sets her wine glass down, hard, and I almost expect it to shatter. “What the fuck is he doing here?”

  “Denny, please, can I talk to you in the bedroom for a second?” I ask, touching his arm.

  Tim and Hank are quiet as their eyes follow us out of the room. As soon as the door is shut, I lean against it. Denny looks at me and lets out a sardonic laugh. “What’s the big problem? I’m your brother. I have a right to be here.”

  “Denny, you knew by coming it would cause a huge problem with Annie. I told you that before. There’s way too much shit that’s following you right now.”

  He snorts. “Jade, you have no idea. You are so busy kissing her ass that you haven’t once stopped to look at the signs.”

  “I don’t know what the fuck you are talking about right now. All I know is this is our wedding day. If you really want to be a support to me, you’ll leave.”

  His smile disappears, and he actually looks hurt. “Can you look at least at your wedding gift?” he asks, motioning toward the envelope in my hand.

  I’d completely forgotten that I was even holding anything. I hesitate, then unseal the envelope. The flap opens to reveal a thick stack of brown bills. I gape at it. “Denny, what the hell? How much is this?”

  “Five thousand. I wanted to give you something you could really use.”

  I’m frozen, holding this huge amount of cash. Now what the hell am I supposed to say? He can’t stay here, but I can’t exactly give it back and chuck him out, either—I remind myself that this guy just got out of the hospital after a suicide attempt.

  Taking a deep breath, I muster up my courage. “Denny, look. I want you to know that I’m very grateful for this huge gift. And believe me, I wanted you at the service. I couldn’t help but notice the place in the pew I wanted you to fill—you and Mom. But with everything else going on, it’s too difficult to have you and Annie in the same room, and today is about her, not you.”

  “You believe her lies, don’t you? That I had something to do with her being raped?”

  I lower my voice to a hiss. “She is not a liar, Denny. And no, I don’t think you had anything to do with her getting raped, but she does, don’t you get it? Her feelings are what I need to care about right now. Maybe it can all be straightened out in the future, but until then, I don’t want her getting too upset. Not in her condition.”

  As soon as that last bit slips over my tongue, I realize I’ve said too much.

  Denny moves closer to me. His eyes are wide. “What condition?”

  “It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

  To my shock, he starts to chuckle. “She’s knocked up? Are you serious? Who’s is it?”

  I feel a flash of anger. “Who’s do you fucking think it is, Denny?”

  “Robbie’s? No way. He knocked her up?” He’s still laughing, a kind of shocked, cocky laughter.

  “I’m glad you see the humor in it.”

  “Irony, Jade. Not humor.”

  “Do you know what irony is?”

  “You’ll get it,” he says. “When you’re ready to hear it, you’ll get it.”

  I don’t have time for his fucked-up riddles at the best of times; now, I’m scraping the bottom of my barrel of patience. I tell myself to calm down. He’s obviously off his meds, and I’m a fool to take anything he says seriously.

  He holds up his hands. “Clearly I’m wedding crashing here. I’ll have one drink for the road and I’ll be on my way. I’ve got to catch the last ferry anyway.” He brushes past me, opens the door and walks out.

  “Denny. No. Stop,” I say, but he’s already gone.

  Suddenly, Annie is there, marching into the bedroom and standing in front of me. She folds her arms over her barely visible belly, and her blue eyes spark as she glares at me. “On our wedding day, Jade? Really?”

  “I know. I know.” I hold up my hands. “I tried. He’s waiting for the last ferry. He’ll have one quick drink and he’ll be gone before you know it, okay?”

  “Do I have a fucking choice?”

  “No, but neither do I.”

  I lean over to kiss her but she pulls away. Her face is flushed and red. She’s not going to forget about this any time soon. Then she looks down at the envelope in my hand. “What’s that?”

  “Oh. Yeah. Wedding gift.”

  She takes the envelope out of my hand and thumbs through the wad. Her anger gives way to shock. “There’s a lot of cash here, Jade.”

  “I know. Don’t worry. I’m giving it back to him when he’s sane.”

  “Well, just a minute.” She thumbs through the cash again. “Considering what he did to me, don’t you think we should keep the money as a sort of restitution payment?”

  I’m shocked. “Are you serious? I don’t think that was his intention.”

  “No, but it’s the way I’m looking at it.” She walks over to her dresser, stuffs the envelope under a stack of her shirts and then closes it. “I’ll just put
it there for now, for safekeeping.”

  She walks back to me. Her face is less flushed, and her mood seems to have improved. She even gives me a hint of a smile.

  I never would have guessed, in a million years, that Annie would be okay with receiving anything from Denny after what happened. I used to be able to predict her moods without fault—now I’m wrong more than I’m right.

  Maybe it’s the hormones. I’ve heard they can really fuck up a woman when she’s pregnant. I don’t know. Whatever it is, right now, I’m just as confused by her behaviour as I am with Denny’s.

  When we walk out of the bedroom, Denny is sitting on the couch with Tim and Hank. They’re laughing and chatting, and I hear Tim ask Denny if he wants a shot of whiskey, and he holds up a bottle. Oh great. Tim fills a glass half full and passes it to Denny, who takes it with thanks. When Denny notices me watching him, he reaches in his pocket and pulls out a pill bottle, which he shakes with a smile. “Look, sis, I’m taking my meds.” He flips the lid open with his thumb and then rattles the bottle until a pill falls out and lands on his tongue.

  I shake my head. Seeing this, Annie goes to the bedroom, then reappears a minute later wearing her hoodie. “I’m going to go and check on Stinky.”

  “Do you want me to come with you?”

  “No, I think you should stay here and oversee things.”

  She’s probably right. While tipsy Tim and my brother laugh and talk, Hank gets up and walks to the door.

  “Going somewhere?” I ask.

  “Just to grab my smokes. I left them in my truck.”

  I look back at Tim just in time to see his pouring more booze into the glasses. I know if I say anything, it’ll spark a fight. All I can do is wait quietly for a few minutes until they all have to leave for the ferry.

  Annie walks back in, and I can hear Hank trudging up the stairs behind her.

  “Couldn’t find the dog?” I ask.