What Matters More
Page 20
Tara’s eyes lit up, intrigued by the idea of a gooey pan of pasta and cheese. She gave JT a curt nod, gathered up all of what he’d brought with him and turned on a heel to leave.
Pausing, she glanced over her shoulder at Anya. “Are you good here?”
Anya nodded and watched as a smile crept across her friend’s face. Then Tara mock-saluted them both and headed for the kitchen.
Anya couldn’t help but look up at JT again, even though she wasn’t sure what came next. Apologies, confessions, and declarations all threatened to brim over from inside her. Plus, her body was battling with any resolve she might have had to keep her hands to herself, at least at first, and just talk to him.
JT tipped his head toward her ear again. “Am I a jerk if I ask you to leave your own party? I want to be alone with you.”
Anya’s body lit up with all of what “alone” implied. She urged him backwards, right out the front door and down the porch steps. JT grabbed her hand and walked them over to his SUV, opening one of the rear doors so she could crawl into the back seat. Anya slid over and JT followed her in, but the moment the door shut behind him, she was in his lap with her mouth on his.
JT fell straight into her kiss, taking over by wrapping his arms around her and pulling her closer, holding her that way until she lifted her hips so he could slip his hands under her dress. She dropped her hips and felt the ridge of his burgeoning erection press against her, which made them both let out aching moans.
Anya started to move her hips, chasing the wild feeling that was building between them until JT went entirely still.
“Wait, wait, wait,” he breathed. “Hold on a second. Fuck.” He grabbed her hips roughly and tore his mouth from hers. They each leaned back, both of them wild-eyed and panting.
“We can’t do this right now. We have to talk first. This”—JT shoved his hips up and rolled his body against hers—“isn’t our issue.”
Anya closed her eyes and took a long, deep breath. He was right that they needed to talk, so once it felt like the worst part of the lust had passed, she opened her eyes and gave him a nod. JT took her face in his hands.
“Just so we’re clear, I didn’t come here for some parting fuck, okay? Please don’t tell me that’s why you invited me, because I couldn’t handle that.” His eyes bored into hers. “I’m here for one reason. Because I love you.”
Anya hated to hear the doubt in his voice, hearing him question what her intentions were in wanting him here tonight. She’d done that to him. Made him question—no matter how briefly—what he meant to her.
“I’m sorry,” she croaked. JT immediately looked anguished, and her heart lurched when she realized why. Quickly, she took his face in her hands.
“No, no. That’s not what I meant,” she said in a rush. “I’m sorry that you thought—even for one second—that I just wanted you for one more night together, or just one anything. I don’t. I want you for everything.”
JT’s face slackened and his breath came roughly. “Yeah?”
Anya nodded. “Yeah.”
He drew a finger over her cheek, watching her eyes. “Tell me what changed. I need to know.”
Anya sorted through her thoughts and fought to arrange them into something that made sense.
“When I found out I got the Fenton, all I wanted to do was tell you. But I convinced myself that I couldn’t. I didn’t grow up around relationships that last, so temporary is the only way I know, and until you, I was fine with that. Then I fell in love with you. But even so, I thought of a hundred reasons why we shouldn’t try for more. It made sense, even though it didn’t . . . do you know what I mean?”
JT gave up a tired nod, deep creases around his eyes that suggested he’d done his own share of wrestling with similar things.
Anya kissed him on each of his temples, hoping to smooth away what tension she could. “And when I was putting together my show, I couldn’t get past how I had everything I wanted, but I still felt hollow inside.”
“I know,” JT said. “I get it. I felt the same way. Even after getting my old house sold, capturing a fugitive I’ve been following for a year, moving into my own rental house, and finding out I got that promotion, I still wanted to drink myself into a stupor.”
“We both got what we wanted. Everything we wanted.” She drew her hands over his chest. “And it still doesn’t feel good.”
“Because it’s not the same if we don’t have this.” JT gestured between them. “But we can change that. I’m ready, I just need to know if you are.”
Longing coursed through her and love followed, erasing her indecision and smothering any fear that she was somehow unworthy.
“Yes,” she said, quiet yet confident. “I’m ready. For you, for us. All of it.”
JT grinned, then kissed her hard, and Anya simply let him. All she had to do was accept his kiss with all of her heart, which wasn’t as easy as it sounded. Accepting his love had always been harder than sharing hers. When he finally pulled back, a laughing glint was in his eyes.
“I almost forgot, I have something for you.” He patted her ass. “Lift up so I can get it out. I don’t know how I forgot it was in here. Damn thing’s been poking me this whole time. Close your eyes and hold out your hand.”
Anya rolled her eyes even as she closed them.
“It’s been poking me, too. Not that I’m complaining. But we should probably go somewhere else for that part since I’m guessing an indecent exposure charge won’t look good for you right after a promotion.”
JT snorted as he reached into his back pocket. “That is the gift that keeps on giving, and you’re not getting that one until later. This gift is to celebrate the Fenton. You deserve it so much. I’m so proud of you, Anya.”
Anya felt him place something in her hand. She opened her eyes and looked down, discovering that his gift was a beautiful kolinsky sable brush, with a big red bow tied around the ferrule. Her wide eyes moved from the brush to JT’s face.
“JT,” she said warily. “This is too much. These brushes are too expensive. You’ve worked so hard trying to get out of debt and then you go buy me this. I can’t—”
He cut her off by tugging her close, tipping their foreheads together.
“You can. I’ve got this covered. You don’t need to worry about that. I wouldn’t do anything to put myself back in a position where I’m broke again. Even for you.”
“But you don’t have to buy me things. There’s no price tag on me loving you, JT. What matters more—more than money, or things, or stuff—is you. You’re enough, with or without anything else.”
JT stared at her for a long beat, drawing in a long, steady breath as he did.
“Then promise me you’ll remember that every time you use this brush. And that when you’re done, you’ll always crawl into bed next to me so I can wake up beside you. That’s what matters to me, Anya. Knowing that something I gave you helps you be who you are. That’s your gift to me. One I’ll never get tired of opening.”
Anya sat back and did all she could to imprint this memory on her deepest consciousness, hoping she would always remember exactly how she felt at this moment.
Deserving.
Worthy.
Loved.
All for who she was, entirely and without exception—by a man who was all those things and more.
Thank You!
Thank you so much for reading What Matters More! I hope you enjoyed JT and Anya’s story.
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Best,
LB
Also By Liora Blake
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