by Robin Roseau
“Kill. You’re going to kill me!”
“Of course we won’t!
“I don’t believe you!” I screamed.
“The goddess wouldn’t allow such a thing.”
“You’re insane.”
“You should try to sleep.”
At that I smiled. “So should you. Was I keeping you awake?”
“Yes.”
“I’m so sorry,” I said sarcastically. “I tell you what. Let me go, and you can sleep very well. I won’t even prey on your conscience or anything.”
“Jeraya, you should try to sleep,” she repeated. “If I have to come back down again, there will be four of us. We will come back in, and we will tie you. It will be quite uncomfortable, and if you try to fight us, we will leave you on the floor. It is your choice.”
I slammed against the door. “You can’t do this to me!”
“I do not bluff. Do not make me come back.”
And then the light faded. “Alyidil!” I screamed. “Don’t leave me in here!” I screamed once more and then grew quiet, turning my back on the door and slumping down, sliding down until I was sitting on the floor, my back to the door.
* * * *
I eventually made it to the bed and curled into a ball. There were blankets, and while the basement was quite cool, there were actually quite a few blankets, and I was able to warm up.
I slept, on and off.
And I hated myself, although not as much as I hated them. I hated myself, because with one threat, she had subdued me. I offered no further expressions of rage, and I remained quiet the rest of the night.
* * * *
I don’t know what time it was; there was no daylight, none at all. But then I heard my name. “Jeraya.”
“What do you want, goat-ball-licker?”
“We have breakfast for you,” Alyidil replied. “We are going to open the door, and you will be sitting on the bed, or we will tie you. Do not fight with us.”
I said nothing. Instead, I rolled over. I heard the noises, and then there was light. They would have seen the back of my head as I lay on the bed. “I have to use the water closet,” I said.
“We brought a chamber pot.”
I turned around and sat up, blinking at the light. “So you’re going to keep me in a room with the smell of the chamber pot?”
Burquiri said something in their other language. Alyidil paused and then said, “If you wish to use the water closet, you will let us tie your hands first.”
“In front of me, so I can see to things.” I didn’t make it a question. “And wash afterwards?”
“Yes, but we will also hobble your feet. If you fight us, Jeraya, we will not be kind in the future.”
“You aren’t being kind now,” I said. “You’re destroying my life, and in the end, you’re going to murder me.”
“We are not,” she said firmly. “Hold out your wrists.”
I did as I was told. Burquiri tied my wrists and then added a hobble for my ankles. I could take mincing steps, but that was all. She and Filfoyss helped me to stand, and then they held my arms as they led me from my cell.
The stairs were difficult, and eventually I turned around, sat down, then went upstairs on my butt, one stair at a time. They helped me to my feet and brought me to the water closet.
And then they wouldn’t leave me alone. Instead, Burquiri came in with me, and she watched me the entire time. I tried to ignore her, but finally I looked up at her. “You are evil.”
“I would be angry, too,” she said. “We will not harm you.”
“You keep saying that, but I don’t believe you. You’re not stupid enough to think I won’t report you if you let me go.”
“That is between you and our mistress,” she said. “She has promised we are not helping to do evil. Killing you would be evil.”
“Taking me like this is evil. Killing me is just bigger evil.” I paused. “I was kind to you. Has everyone been as kind as I have been?”
“No. We would have preferred a gentler way.”
“But I was leaving with you, either way.”
“Yes.”
“Then that is evil, and I think you know it.”
She turned away, saying nothing. But she didn’t offer to help me escape. I finished what I needed to do, washed up as best I could, and turned to her. She led me from the water closet, and then the four of them escorted me back to my cell.
They waited as I ate, and they didn’t untie me until I was done, and they had taken the things from me. Then Alyidil said, “You will be here while we see to a few arrangements, perhaps two hours.”
“Whatever,” I said. “I hope your heart shrivels and dies.”
They said nothing further, but Burquiri untied my ankles and wrists, and then they backed from my cell and bolted it. “Try getting a little more sleep.”
* * * *
They came back, and I sat up, blinking in the light. “We have clothing for you,” Alyidil said. “It is in our style.”
“Whatever.”
“If you cooperate, we will be kind. If you do not cooperate, you will not care for how you travel.”
“I don’t really have a choice, do I?”
“You can make this worse for yourself,” she said. “Will you cooperate?”
“For now.”
Filfoyss and Burquiri stepped to me. They helped me stand, and then I stood still as they fully undressed me. But then they pulled one of their dresses onto me, and then they put sandals like theirs on my feet.
Of course, then they hobbled my ankles and tied my wrists again. They led me upstairs.
Lal Keshia was waiting for me, and it was the same room where we had talked late last night. They brought me to a stop, and she smiled. “You look lovely.”
“Why am I wearing this?”
“You would prefer to wear nothing?”
“Why am I wearing this rather than clothing more familiar to me?”
She didn’t answer my question. Instead, she said, “I am about to give you a choice. I know you are angry and scared. I don’t know how to assure you we will not harm you.”
“You’re going to murder me is what you’re going to do.”
“No,” she said. “It is my hope to take very, very good care of you, Jeraya.”
“Right,” I said.
“Do you believe my goddess will be impressed if we kill her host after she leaves?”
“She’ll be gone. Will she know?”
“I don’t know, but it would be the worst sort of sacrilege.”
“And I’m supposed to trust you?”
“You have little choice.”
I didn’t believe her. “Although you mentioned a choice?”
“Yes. We are leaving shortly. Our journey will take two weeks, if the roads are good, or perhaps a little longer with poor weather and wet roads.”
“And?”
“And you may have the choice of riding openly, dressed like this.”
“And no one is going to notice the ropes?” I held my hands up.
“We’ll remove them.”
“Right. Why would you do that?”
“Because you’ll promise to behave.”
“And you’re stupid enough to believe me?”
“Or you may express your ire,” she continued. “And we will tie you quite uncomfortably and pack you into a trunk with very thick walls. We can pump in fresh air, but it will be quite stuffy and uncomfortable. Is that how you prefer to spend the next two weeks?”
“No.”
“I wouldn’t, either. So, you will behave?”
“And if I lie?”
She didn’t answer. “Do you promise to behave?”
“Yes,” I lied.
“Good.” She was an idiot to believe me. “You will ride double with one of my servants. Choose one.”
“Alyidil,” I said.
“Very good,” Lal Keshia said. Alyidil stepped to the dark elf and held out her right hand. Lal Keshia wrapped a he
avy bracelet around it and then spoke several words in some strange language. Alyidil grunted, but said nothing. I had no idea what was going on.
Then Alyidil stepped to me. She moved behind me, and I watched her. “I’m not about to hurt you,” she said gently. Then she wrapped arms around me. I stiffened but said nothing. But she wrapped her arms around me, her hands finding bare skin. She even pressed her face against the side of mine, leaning over me a little to do so.
Lal Keshia stepped in front of me. She had another of the bracelets. She reached for my hands and pulled them up, and then she wrapped the bracelet around my left wrist. She spoke the words again, and I stared as the bracelet grew snug around my wrist. “How did you do that?”
“Magic,” she said. “You’re not going to believe me, so we’re going to perform a brief demonstration. This isn’t to hurt you, but it’s going to seem like that.”
“You keep promising not to hurt me, but your promises are as false as everything else.”
“I am sorry for that, but we both know you were lying when you promised to behave.” I said nothing, as she was right, and only an idiot would have believed me if I protested. “The bracelets are magic, and they come as a pair. You will notice nothing as long as you are sharing contact, skin to skin, with Alyidil. It need not be this intimate,” and she gestured. “Although the magic bonds better if it begins this way.”
“And if we stop touching?” I asked.
“You die.”
“What?” I screeched. “So much for not harming me.”
“It takes a minute or two,” she said. “It begins with pain, and soon the pain becomes quite overwhelming. Most people pass out, and death follows.” I stared at her, and she let me think about that. “You may not believe me. In a minute, Alyidil will release you, but she will be right there. When you are convinced, you only need initiate skin-to-skin contact. Holding hands is sufficient, but if you delay, it may take more to drive the pain away.”
“Please don’t do this.”
“We’re doing it here, so you are convinced,” she said. “It would not do for you to try to summon assistance in public.”
“I’ll behave!” I said, nearly screaming.
“If, while we’re traveling, you do anything to draw attention, do you know what we’ll do?”
“Kill me.”
“Alyidil will push you from her horse, and then we will ride away. No one is going to believe you, and we’ll be long gone while they’re wondering what is wrong with you.”
I closed my eyes and tried to get my anger and fear under control.
“I hold no ill intent, Jeraya, but we both know you were lying. I, however, am not lying about anything. You will travel with us. We will do the ritual. Shi`nual will come. She and I will talk. She will leave, and we will take care of you afterwards. You will be entirely unharmed, but the experience tends to be quite overwhelming.”
“Will I go mad?”
“No.”
I didn’t believe her, but I believed her about the bracelets. I lifted my bound wrists and stared at it. Then I looked sideways at Alyidil. “I’ll behave. I promise.”
“We know you will, but we’re going to be sure you believe me,” Lal Keshia said. Then she nodded.
“No!” I screamed.
Alyidil threw her arms wide and took two steps directly away from me. I stood there, stricken. At first, nothing happened, for two or three seconds. But then I doubled over, gasping. I was filled with pain, and I gasped again, then tripped and slipped to the floor. No one caught me. I lay there for a moment, gasping for air, filled with pain, but then I lunged for Alyidil’s feet and wrapped around her tightly, pressing against her skin everywhere I could reach.
It took several heartbeats before I could breath, and several more before I said, “I believe you. I believe you. Please don’t do that again. Please.” I looked up at Alyidil. For her part, she knelt down and set her hand on my back.
“I’m sorry,” she said gently. “You had to be sure. I think you’re sure now.”
“I’ll behave,” I whispered.
“It can be shocking,” Lal Keshia said. “But you’ll be fine in another minute or two.”
They gave me another minute, then Burquiri and Filfoyss were there. They untied my ankles. Careful to maintain my contact with Alyidil, I turned around and offered my wrists. They untied them, and then the three of them helped me to stand. I turned back to Alyidil and wrapped around her tightly. She wrapped her own arms around me, saying nothing, but her hand found the bare skin of my back.
“That’s why I’m wearing this dress,” I said.
“Part of the reason,” Lal Keshia said. “Our story is that this is a mating ritual, that you must remain together in the months leading to your marriage. If you cannot remain together for four months now, when love is new, you could not share a life forever.”
I thought about that and said, “That actually makes sense.”
“It is a custom from my world,” she said. “When you’re ready, I want you to take Alyidil’s hand and assure yourself that is sufficient contact. If it is not, she is right there, and she can hold you however you like.”
“Thank you,” I whispered. And then I hated myself for succumbing so soon, thanking her for not hurting me further. I took several deep breaths, and then I released my hold, sliding my left hand down her arm, finding her hand. We clasped, and then slowly she released me the rest of the way. We came to a stop, only holding hands.
“Getting on and off your horse will be done in stages,” Lal Keshia. “If the two of you care to sit, we’ll finish getting things ready and then retrieve you.”
I let Alyidil lead me to a sofa. We sat, and I stared, a little numbly, at our clasped hands. I brushed a tear from my eye.
“She is very desperate,” Alyidil said gently.
“I don’t expect to live through this,” I said. “You understand that. I believe her about the magic, but I don’t believe her about anything else.” I turned to look into her eyes. “When I die, know that you’ll have helped to do this to me. Do you even care?”
“We aren’t doing this to harm you,” she said. “I promise.” She lifted her other hand and brushed away the tear. “I’m sorry this is difficult for you.”
“What happens at night?”
“We share a bed. We’ll make it a small bed, and I’ll hold you, however you like.”
I said nothing further.
* * * *
Mayolin retrieved us a few minutes later, even offering a hand to help both of us rise. We followed her outside.
There were five horses waiting, and four more packhorses. “How do we make this work?” I asked.
“We thought about having you mount from the steps.” Lal Keshia gestured to the house. “But we know we won’t always have that option.”
“This is yours,” Burquiri said, holding the nose of one of the horses. Alyidil nudged me forward, and we stepped to the side of the mount.
“We’re going to climb aboard one step at a time,” Alyidil said. “We practiced this. First, we will switch hands, my left to your left. I’m going to let you control this, but I will guide you.” Then she lifted her left hand and clasped my left arm. “Use your right hand to touch me wherever you want.”
I thought about it, and then I set my hand against her cheek. She smiled.
“We are touching in three places,” she said. “Your right hand is touching my cheek. We are clasped, your left to my right hand. And my left hand is on your left arm. We only need one, but that probably makes you nervous. So I want you to wrap your left hand around my right hand, then I want you to place my hand where you want me to continue to touch you. Then I will slide my left hand down, and we will clasp, left to left.”
I nodded. Then I did as she said. She relaxed her hand, and I wrapped around, then took her wrist. I set her right hand on my right arm. She clasped, and then she slid her left hand until we were holding hands, left to left.
“Good
. That is what we will do every time we switch. It will become second nature. Now, we go back to only holding hands, but left to left. Then I want you to step around behind me.”
She didn’t have to guide me. But I maintained contact with both hands, my left holding her left, and my right finding more bare skin, finally moving to her right shoulder.
“Now we mount, me first,” she said. We stepped up to the horse. “I’m going to do this one step at a time. First I’m going to prepare.” She did that, with me right where I was. “Now, you need to let go of my hand, but keep your right exactly where it is. You can set your hand on my arm.” I did that, and then she pulled the edge of her dress up a little, the skirt slit opening to show off her leg. “Left hand on my leg.” I did that. “Now right hand.” I moved around and had both hands against her leg. “Good. Up I go.” She did, settling into the saddle as I clutched her leg.
“Good.” She reached her left hand down. “Face me directly and hook left arms.” We worked that out, then she said, “We do this in a smooth motion. Put your foot into the second stirrup, and then let me pull you up.” I nodded, and then it was almost nothing, but I was in the saddle behind her, pressed against her back and holding tightly to her.
“That isn’t so hard,” she said. “We’ll get smoother. Now, you control touch. You may touch whatever skin you find. You may be able to sleep. If you wish, you can wrap around me, and I’ll hold your hands.”
“All right.”
“Or you can set your hands on my legs, or your face against my shoulder. You may touch me however you are comfortable.”
“Sure.”
I squirmed a little more, and by the time I had found a position, the others were mounted. As I pressed against Alyidil, she clicked to the horse, and we rode away from the house.
Travels
I’m not going to describe the travel in much detail. The magic bracelets had taken the last of my rebellion from me, and so I became deeply subdued, and I did absolutely anything Alyidil told me to do. Not once did she abuse my obedience, which didn’t take me long to notice. I went where I was directed, and I did as I was told, but other than taking me with them, she was kind to me. They all were, really.
I didn’t talk much the first few days. Lal Keshia was also quiet. The other four spoke together, but when they did, they spoke easily in their own language, and I didn’t understand a word.