by Robin Roseau
“The opposite of terrible, Jeraya.” She lifted our hands and kissed my knuckles, watching me over the top as she did so. I stared, not resisting. “You probably hate me.”
“I did,” I said. “I don’t know anymore.”
“I want to tell you something, but I don’t want you to decide anything yet.”
“Okay,” I said slowly.
“When this is over, you could stay here, with us. If her goddess can take her home, and she can take us with her, we might go. I don’t know. I think we might go. If she can take us, she can take you. But if she doesn’t take us, then we’ll try to make a life here. You could stay with us. It’s nice here. The people in the village are nice. They see us as oddities, but they’re nice enough.”
“Do they know what Lal Keshia is?”
“No. We are her agents. I don’t want you to decide now.”
“I won’t decide anything for a while, I guess.”
There was noise, and when we turned, Lal Keshia was watching us. “How much of that did you hear?” I asked.
“Probably most of the important parts,” she replied. “If it was private, I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine,” I said.
“Jeraya,” she said, “if you have reasonable requests, I will try to fill them.” I nodded. “Your room is ready.” I nodded again, and then we followed her.
The room was, as we had discussed, in the basement of the house. The other three were waiting, but they said nothing. When we arrived, I moved about my new cell, looking it over, Alyidil in tow. It was actually not horrible. The floor was stone, but there was a rug. The walls were wood. There was a bed, sofa, chair, and a couple of small tables. Along the wall beside the door was a low bookcase. It was not full, but there were plenty of books. The room was cool, but not cold.
Finally, I turned to Lal Keshia. “I’ll agree to behave if you don’t leave me down here.”
“I’m sorry,” she replied.
“You don’t believe me.”
“No, and even if you are earnest now, you may not remain that way if you see an attempt to run.”
“Where would I go?”
“To the village to tell all of them what I have done.”
“Oh.” She was probably right. “You can’t stop me? You said you could prevent me from talking about you?”
“That might make you unappealing to Shi`nual.”
“But you’re going to do that tonight, anyway. Did you change your mind?”
“We’ll pick something small. Perhaps I won’t allow you to talk about pink bunnies.”
“Pink bunnies?”
She offered a smile. “I find it unlikely an inability to talk about pink bunnies will offend Shi`nual or even affect your future life in any way, but it will serve as proof of my magic. This is a reverse of the original process. Please sit on the sofa.” She gestured. “Alyidil, stand behind her.”
We walked to the sofa then held our hands out, each taking a different path. I sat. Alyidil stood behind. Then her hands moved so she had them on each of my shoulders, and I set my hands atop hers. It was more than enough touch, although I would have welcomed more.
“I’m scared,” I whispered.
“I am going to take away the magic that could kill you, and you’re scared?”
“Fear isn’t always logical.”
“I suppose not,” she said. “You’re going to be fine, Jeraya. Do you think I’d risk you now?”
“No.” But I remained scared.
She nodded, and then she crouched down before me. “Give me your wrist.” I handed her the left, but I laid my cheek against Alyidil’s hand. She leaned over and pressed her cheek against my other side. It wasn’t remotely necessary, but it was reassurance, and it felt nice besides.
Lal Keshia took my hand, holding it easily in one of hers. “You will feel something, but it is very small. Once I start, I need to move efficiently. I must remove your bracelet and then Alyidil’s.” She shifted her gaze. “You’ll need to offer your wrist immediately. Do not delay.”
“I won’t.”
“Burquiri,” she said. “Are you ready with the tray?”
“Yes.” The woman moved forward. She had a simple cooking pan.
“I am beginning,” Lal Keshia said. “Be ready.” And then she stroked my bracelet with her fingers, chanting briefly. It took a moment, but the bracelet relaxed its grip on my wrist, and as soon as I did, she pulled it from me and dropped it into the pan. She immediately grabbed Alyidil’s hand and did the same, and by the time she dropped the second bracelet, they were both smoking. Lal Keshia blew on her fingers. I stared at the bracelets as they melted in the pan.
“That is why I had to hurry,” she said. “Did either of you get burned?”
I looked at my wrist. I could see indentations where the bracelet had been, and I rubbed at it but said, “No.”
“It started to get hot,” Alyidil said, “but it didn’t burn me.”
“Good,” Lal Keshia replied. She looked into my eyes. “The walls are sturdy, but if you made sufficient effort, you could escape. However, you could not do so without making significant noise.”
I looked around. I thought she was right. “I’ll behave,” I said eventually.
“Thank you.”
She gestured to the bookcase. “If you consume the books of interest, I can obtain others. The bookstore in the village is actually quite good for a village of this size. In other places, books are quite dear.”
“Your home?”
“No, no. Other places here.”
“Our people don’t read,” Alyidil said. “Lal Keshia taught us.”
The elf straightened but smiled down at me. “You are still clutching each other.”
“I’m afraid,” I whispered. I reached up and pulled Alyidil’s head back so she was pressing against my cheek again. She didn’t resist, and on the other side, she squeezed my shoulder.
“Well, I can’t leave her here. I’m sorry. Alyidil.”
“Please don’t.”
“I’m sorry,” the woman whispered. “I’m right here if it starts to hurt.”
“It hurts,” I said.
She laughed. And then, slowly, she pulled away from me. I squeezed my eyes shut, and then I drew into a ball besides, pulling my knees my chest.
“Jeraya?” Alyidil asked.
“I’m fine,” I said tightly.
“I’m sorry,” Lal Keshia said again. I heard movement, and when I finally opened my eyes, the other four women were outside my room, and Lal Keshia was in the doorway, watching me.
“Wait!” I said. “If you take that last lamp away, I won’t be able to see.”
“Oh, right.” She gestured. “There is a stone on the top of the bookcase. You’ll see it.”
“In the dark.”
“Yes,” she said. “In the dark.”
“Please don’t leave me in here like this.”
“I’m sorry,” she said again. Then she backed out of the doorway. The door closed, and I heard them bolt and bar it.
I got up and ran to the door, banging on it with my hand. “Don’t leave me here!”
“I’m sorry, Jeraya,” she said. Again. She wasn’t that sorry. I wasn’t sure she was sorry about a single thing.
I turned around and, like I had the first night they took me, I slumped, sliding down the door to sit on the floor, my back to it.
I tried very hard not to cry.
* * * *
Finally, I pulled myself back up. There was a little light, very little, and when I turned, I could see the stone on the bookcase.
It glowed. “Magic,” I whispered.
It wasn’t very bright. It didn’t fill the room with light. But it illuminated the top of the bookcase. I moved to it and held my hand out to it. I felt no heat, but I touched it carefully. It was cool, like any stone might be. So, I picked it up and stared at it.
It wasn’t a stone. It was a crystal. Quartz, I thought. And it glowed with an inner light
, pale blue light. It was pretty. Quite pretty, actually.
I wondered how long it would last.
But I used the pale, dim light of the stone to let me explore my prison for a while. I found more details I hadn’t noticed before, but there was no clear route to escape. I tried the door, and it was securely closed. I wouldn’t be leaving until they let me out.
I moved to the bed and lay down on my side, curling up again, then squirming around to pull covers over me. I cupped the stone and stared into it.
I missed Alyidil. We’d been literally in constant physical contact for more than two weeks, and I missed her touch. Two weeks ago, I wouldn’t have predicted that. Who would have thought I’d feel nostalgic for our travel here? Who would have predicted I’d begin to grow tender towards the woman who had helped to do this to me?
I stared at the stone and thought my heart would begin to harden again. That felt like the appropriate response to my situation.
* * * *
I slept for a while. I had nightmares, and when I woke from them, I wasn’t holding the stone. I nearly went into a panic, but as the only source of light in the room, it wasn’t difficult to find. I cupped it then wondered what I would need to do to keep it safe.
I wasn’t sure what would happen if it fell to the floor. But I stared into its light, and it felt like the only anchor for my sanity.
The bed was not large, but I had two pillows. I took one and set it on the rug beside the bed, then carefully set the stone atop the pillow. It wasn’t bright enough to see its light unless I looked directly at it, so I shifted until I was partly hanging off the edge of the bed, staring at the light.
I dozed for a while. I woke. I tried to go back to sleep, but instead I collected the stone and sat up, pulling the blankets around me but leaning against the wall with my knees up. I cupped the stone.
I sat that way for a while. Eventually I got up, pulled my sandals back on, and prowled the room again. A new escape route hadn’t materialized while I slept. Nor had the door become unbolted. I didn’t think it had.
I reached the bookcase, staring down at it. Finally, I crouched down and tried to look through what books I had. Eventually I pulled one at random and moved back to the bed.
* * * *
It took four books before I found one I could even understand. Oh, they weren’t in a foreign language, but they were about things I knew nothing about. The first was about politics. The second was about business. The third discussed shipping. The fourth was a story.
I had to hold the light over the page, and move it back and forth besides. But I could read, and it was really the only choice open to me, so that’s what I did.
* * * *
They brought me lunch. I said nothing when they came in. I didn’t even look at them. Alyidil knelt down before me and tried to look into my eyes, but I looked away from her. But then when she began to leave, I launched myself at her, hugging her about the legs, panting while trying to avoid crying. She set her hands on my head and said nothing, but we stayed like that for a while.
I knew she couldn’t stay. I didn’t think I could handle it if she tried to pull away from me. So slowly I unwrapped, and I continued to kneel, looking down at her feet. She kept her hands on my head, so finally I said, my voice raw, “I know you can’t stay.”
“I would,” she said.
“I believe you. I’ll be fine.” I was sure I was lying.
* * * *
I was curled up on the bed hours and hours later when I heard them at the door again. Finally, it opened, spilling light into my prison. Someone entered, and I heard her collect the tray from lunch. I hadn’t eaten that much. And then I heard Lal Keshia’s voice. “You may have dinner in here, or you may join us.”
At that I rolled over and sat up, blinking away the light from my eyes. “Are you going to use fresh magic to bind me?”
“No. We’ll use more mundane methods. We’ll hobble your ankles. That will be sufficient.”
I nodded and stuck my legs out.
Filfoyss and Mayolin tied them. They used one rope connecting my ankles, and then another above my knees. The ropes were just loose enough I could slowly hobble. I stared and said, “I’m going to need help.”
“Ready?” Mayolin asked. I held out my hands, and they pulled me to my feet. Then, moving slowly, they helped me upstairs.
We had dinner. I said very little, almost nothing. Afterwards, I sat there as the others cleaned up. Lal Keshia and I said nothing to each other, and the entire dinner conversation had been subdued.
But then they helped me to the sitting room. Lal Keshia pulled a chair in front of mine then leaned forward and took my hands. I didn’t fight her. “We’re going to demonstrate my magic, and once you’re convinced, we’ll discuss improving your situation.”
“It won’t be enough,” I muttered.
She didn’t respond to that. Instead she said, “I prepared before dinner. The spell is primed and ready.” She dropped one of my hands, lifted her hand to the side of my head, and spoke a single word. What word? I have no idea. But it was a word of magic, and it bore into me. And then she said, “You will not discuss pink bunnies.”
The magic wrapped further around me, and it squeezed a little. I looked up at her, my eyes wide. She smiled. “Tell me about woodland creatures, Jeraya.”
I opened my mouth. I closed it. I did that a few more times.
“It shouldn’t be that encompassing,” Lal Keshia said.
“I can talk about deer,” I said. “See? And rabbits. But…” And then I shut my mouth again.
“Perhaps you would like to try writing about pink bunnies?”
The thought made me very, very uncomfortable, and I turned away, shaking my head. “I don’t want to think about this. Please don’t ask me to think about this.”
“All right,” she said gently. “Do you believe me?”
“I believe if you don’t want me to talk about you, you can stop me. But you said it wears off.”
“And I said we’d be long gone when it does.”
“You’d give up everything here to avoid a more permanent solution.”
“Yes,” she said. “I would. I can’t prove that. At some point, you have to take me on faith. I know that’s difficult.”
I couldn’t see her leaving if she didn’t have to. I didn’t tell her that. But I knew I wouldn’t be able to tell anyone, not in time for it to matter.
In a way, that should have been reassuring. It wasn’t. It only made me feel even more helpless, as if that were possible. She had all this power, and I had none, none at all.
“What are you going to do with me?”
“I’ve considered and discarded a number of things. I thought about letting people sit with you, but not only can I not afford them, I’m not letting anyone open your door when she’s alone.” I didn’t blame her for that.
“There are things I can do. We can bring you upstairs in the evenings, when we are done with our tasks for the day. We’re all tired, and it’s late, but that’s something.” She paused. “Did you read?”
“A little,” I said. “I got a headache.”
“I’m sorry. I can’t make the stone any brighter.”
“You could shackle me up here.”
“That would leave marks upon your skin. I could do that for a couple of weeks, but do you think the room downstairs will be easier to bear later, when I put you there to heal?”
“No.”
“No. And so we will discuss other options. Alyidil has offered to stay nights with you. The bed is small, however. I fear neither of you would sleep well. However, if you think it will help, we can try it. The beds upstairs are too large for that room, but we can find something in the village.”
I looked at Alyidil. “You don’t mind?”
“No, Jeraya. I don’t mind.”
“I’d like that,” I whispered.
“I don’t know how much more I can do,” she said. “It’s only a few weeks. We’ll pre
pare the house first, and then we begin to prepare you.”
“What does that mean?”
“For now, you’ll have to trust me, but you’re going to love it. As much as we’re ignoring you now, it will be entirely the opposite. On my world, you would spend a month of people seeing to everything you could desire. You may grow quite sick of us.”
“I’m already sick of you. I’ve been sick of you since before we even met.”
She laughed. “I imagine, but I still believe you’d accept being bound to me ahead of solitude.”
“Don’t let that thought go to your head.”
“Do you want to talk about pink bunnies?”
“No.”
“Are you sure? You could talk about how cute they are.”
“Don’t gloat,” I said.
“How about if we play a little game, but then it is time for bed. I imagine you’re not tired, but everyone else is.”
“All right.”
* * * *
The bed was small for two of us. I apologized to Alyidil. “Perhaps you should snuggle,” she offered. We both squirmed around, and I got comfortable, lying with my head on her shoulder. I could feel the wall behind me, and I knew she could feel the edge of the bed. But she said, “I missed you today.”
We lay quietly after that. It was some time later that I said, “This is nice, but I bet you can’t sleep with me like this. What would be best for you?”
“You could spoon me,” she offered.
“I’d like that, Alyidil.”
I let her pull her arm from me. She squirmed around. I squirmed. And, together, we fit. I smiled. I rather liked knowing she had to press against me like this. I couldn’t go anywhere, as my bottom was pressed to the wall with only the padding of blankets between us, and so I was pinned between Alyidil and the wall. And I didn’t mind at all.
So much for my heart growing harder.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
“I’d rather be here with you,” she replied.
“Thank you,” I said again.
* * * *
No, I don’t think either of us slept that well. In the morning, before she left, I clung to her. “If you need to sleep upstairs, I understand.”
“I’ll be here every night, if you invite me,” she replied. She kissed my cheek. “I know this part is hard, but you can sleep a little more. We’ll have this evening and again tonight.”