Chasing Strength: A Harper Family Romance

by Stopper, Nancy

  All while she watched his glorious muscles ripple from the doorway.

  When he was done, he turned his attention on her, and his smile grew. “I guess I’m not getting my shirt back.”

  “Since it means I get to admire you shirtless, then you’re correct.” She had caressed his tight abs and sculpted chest more than once, but seeing him like this, under the bright light of the morning sun, was a whole other story. Her fingers itched to trace the hills and valleys of muscles, to follow the trail of hair that disappeared into the top of the denim that hugged his hips.

  “If you keep looking at me like that, my shirt is gonna be on the floor and you’re gonna be flat on your back on the kitchen table.”

  “Like what?” She shrugged her shoulders. She loved this playful side of Chris, and he brought out a part of herself that she hadn’t seen in a long time.

  “Oh, you know what you were doing.” He gathered her into his arms and lowered his lips to hers, his tongue slipping easily into her mouth as she opened for him. But too soon, he pulled back. “I’m going to go. You need to write.”

  Her chest heaving, she struggled to process his words. His kisses shoved every other thought out of her mind except for him. “Oh, yeah, right. Book. Editor. Deadline.”

  After another few minutes of kissing, she was rethinking her entire day. But before she could drag Chris back to her bed, he collected his keys and phone and strode out her door, his shirt still on her body.

  * * *

  The words poured out of Alexis’s fingers most of the day, her characters weaving a story more sinister and more thrilling than ever before. This was good work. She couldn’t deny that since she’d met Chris, since she’d realized that she wanted more for herself, her scenes had been some of her best. It seemed that the new comfort and safety she felt emboldened her to push boundaries.

  She had just finished dashing off a message to her editor, updating him on her progress and providing a tentative submission date, when her phone dinged. It had been blissfully quiet today, as if her friends and family knew she was in the zone. She swiped the screen and saw a message from Mom. What time are you headed up to visit Izzy?

  It had killed Alexis not to rush out to the hospital this morning, but she knew Izzy needed to rest and she had words to write. But nothing was stopping her now that she had a productive day behind her. Soon. Are you there already?

  I am. How about dinner after?

  Alexis had been leaning on Mom a lot in the past few years, the one person in her family who didn’t turn a pitying gaze her way. The one person who understood Alexis’s suffering more than most. Alexis hadn’t had a chance to discuss Chris with Mom. After yesterday’s cookout, Mom had probably been building her list of questions, some that Alexis wasn’t sure she knew how to answer. But Alexis at least owed her the time. Absolutely.

  Alexis took the quickest shower in history, and less than an hour later, she stepped off the elevator at the maternity ward. She stopped at the nursery windows, expecting to see a line of cradles like in the movies, but there weren’t any babies on the other side. This was the first time she’d been to visit a baby in the hospital. The only person she’d known who had a baby was Justin, and he hadn’t been living in Cedar Hill when Aiden was born.

  The baby must be in with Izzy, and if Alexis knew her sister, she probably hadn’t put him down since the minute he was born.

  When Alexis stepped into Izzy’s room, she paused to watch her sister staring down at the bundle of blue in her arms. Izzy raised her head. “I can’t stop looking at him. He’s so beautiful.”

  Tanner unfolded himself from the chair in the corner, a day’s worth of scruff on his chin, and crossed the room to gaze over Izzy’s shoulder.

  Alexis laughed. “Have you given Tanner a chance to hold his son?”

  “Barely,” Tanner said, but based on the way he smiled at Izzy and his new son, he didn’t begrudge his wife the cuddle time.

  Alexis circled the bed and wrapped her arms around Tanner. “Congratulations, Daddy.”

  “Thanks, Alexis. Now that you’re here, I’m going to run downstairs for a bite. Your mom went to check in on Hayley. She’ll be back in a minute.”

  Tanner didn’t waste any time scooting out the door, leaving Alexis alone with Izzy and Joshua. Alexis gazed down on her newest nephew. “Oh, Izzy. He’s just perfect.”

  “He is, isn’t he? Did you want to hold him?”

  “Can I?”

  “Sure. Wash your hands first.”

  Alexis soaped her hands and rinsed in the sink in Izzy’s bathroom and was back in a flash. She wasn’t sure what to do, but Izzy was already a pro, extending her arms toward Alexis. “Just support his head with your hand.”

  Alexis scooped the bundle of preciousness from her sister’s arms and tucked him into her body. He snuggled in, his mouth making sucking sounds before he forced his eyes open. “Oh, wow. He’s awake. He’s looking at me.”

  She stared down at the baby, part Izzy and part Tanner, and a warm feeling settled deep in her chest. This was her nephew—a part of her family. A little person with his entire life ahead of him. A tear trailed down her cheek. In that minute, she envisioned her own future.

  Would she have a son of her own someday? Or maybe a princess with Chris’s honey-blond hair and her heart-shaped face?

  It was no surprise that she envisioned her life with Chris. He had lifted her up and given her hope for a future that she had all but written off for herself.

  “Alexis?”

  She raised her head and met her sister’s gaze. “You’re right, he’s beautiful. I’m so proud of you.”

  Izzy yawned. “You wouldn’t be saying that if you were here last night when I was yelling my head off for the epidural. I about broke Tanner’s hand squeezing it so hard.”

  “Yeah but look what you have to show for it.”

  “My newest grandson,” Mom said as she hurried through the door. She crossed the room and kissed Alexis’s cheek, smiling at Joshua for a moment. “Good to see you, honey. I see you’ve met Josh.”

  “I have, but now I think that Mama and baby need a nap.” She leaned over the bedrail and lowered Joshua into Izzy’s arms.

  Izzy gazed down at her little bundle. “I am a bit tired, but I think I’ll wait until Tanner gets back.”

  “Wait for me to get back for what?”

  There was a look of pure joy on Tanner’s face when he strode to Izzy’s side. A look just like the one on Chris’s face when they’d made love last night. He couldn’t love her, could he? No, that wasn’t love. That was lust. Nothing more.

  Chris had her so mixed up that she couldn’t tell up from down anymore.

  Mom laid her hand on Alexis’s arm and steered her toward the door. “We were just leaving so Izzy and Joshua can get a nap. Tanner, text me tomorrow morning when you’re ready to go home and I’ll meet you there. I’m sure your nanny Mary has everything ready, but I want to help get him settled.”

  “She and Hayley have been getting the nursery ready for weeks. Thanks, Mom.”

  Mom kissed Tanner’s cheek and then the two of them left them alone.

  Mom sighed as they walked down the corridor. “I love babies. I’m so happy for Izzy. Tanner is good to her, and she has Hayley and now Josh. And Justin has Maddie and Aiden and Sofia. Just like it should be.” Mom drew in a deep breath. “I was worried about you kids for a while.”

  Alexis motioned for Mom to step into the elevator and then followed, pressing the button for the first floor. “Why?”

  “After your childhood, after your father, I was afraid that none of you would want to have a family of your own. I hate that we didn’t give you a good example of how a family should be.”

  Alexis didn’t know what to say. She knew that Mom had many regrets about her marriage, about their lives, but she hadn’t expressed it so directly before.

  The bell dinged when they reached the first floor, and Alexis still hadn’t responded to Mom’s comme
nt. She wasn’t sure if her mother was expecting a reply or was just musing out loud. Either way, that little bombshell had thrown Alexis for a loop.

  “Did you want to ride together, or did you want to take your own car?” Mom smiled at Alexis.

  “I’ll meet you there. Where are we going?”

  “How about Bertelli’s? I’m in the mood for Italian.”

  “Mangia.” Alexis used the short drive to the restaurant to mull over what Mom wanted to talk about. They’d spent a lot of time together over the past few years, especially as her siblings started pairing off, but Mom had steered clear of anything about Dad. It was as though she understood Alexis needed time to deal with the impact of Dad’s actions on her life.

  It appeared that time was over.

  A few minutes later, the hostess seated them at a table for two in the corner of the brightly-lit restaurant. Alexis considered the menu for a moment, which also gave her a chance to study Mom. She didn’t look much different than she had when Alexis was a girl other than a few extra lines on her face and stray gray hairs that highlighted her simple beauty. Alexis would be lucky to age as well as her mother had.

  They placed orders for pasta and salads, and the waitress left them with a basket of delicious sourdough bread and dipping oil. Alexis had barely dipped her first bite when Mom broke the comfortable silence.

  “Tell me about that young man you brought to dinner yesterday.”

  Alexis choked on the bread, catching her breath and forcing down the bite, chasing it with a huge gulp of water. “You mean Chris?”

  Mom nodded. “I liked him… and so did your brother. You know Justin is hard to please.”

  When Izzy had first brought Tanner to dinner, Justin had spent most of the meal grilling her sister’s future husband. Introducing Chris had been a huge step forward in their relationship—one that she had been ready to take. “I like him, too.”

  “I could see that. I saw how you looked at him… and how he looked at you. How did you meet him?”

  Alexis hesitated. She didn’t want her mom to know she’d met him outside FitzGeralds. After he beat up another man who was taking advantage of her drunken state. “Around. He works at the Gazette.”

  “So, you have a lot in common. I remember when you worked there in high school. You were happy then.”

  She’d been happy to be away from the house. To escape Dad’s tirades and Mom’s tears.

  As though she sensed where Alexis’s mind had strayed, Mom added, “I’m sorry you had such a rough childhood. I know it didn’t seem like it, but your father loved you girls… in his own way.”

  “He had a fine way of showing it.” What Alexis wouldn’t give for a glass of wine right now, but the irony wasn’t lost on her that her father’s downfall, alcohol, was the refuge that she had sought. But she shouldn’t take her anger out on Mom. She’d done the best she could with a bad situation. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you like that.”

  Mom rested her hand on top of Alexis’s “Don’t you worry about me. Your father didn’t know how to deal with his stress except to drink. It’s been hard on all of you, learning you had a sister. But giving up his rights to his daughter tore him apart. He never got over losing her, but he knew that it was the right decision. In fact, that’s what sent him into the depression that led to the…troubles we had. He would be thrilled to know you kids have a relationship now.”

  It always came back to Rachel. The girl whose very existence had driven her father to drink was the same one who’d motivated most of Alexis’s late nights at FitzGeralds. But she refused to be that person any longer—a woman who drowned her feelings in the bottom of a bottle. She would not let depression drive her deeper. “It’s been hard to get past the fact that every time I see her, I remember what Dad did to you. To us.”

  “Oh, honey. Your father was an imperfect man, but he gave me four perfect kids. And now grandkids. I choose to focus on the joy in my life and not the sorrows.”

  Alexis envied her Mom’s outlook and conjured an image of joy in her own life—Chris. He’d been taking care of her since the day they’d met. But he never patronized her or acted like she wasn’t capable of taking care of herself.

  It had been all she could do to ask him to leave this morning and fulfill her adult responsibilities instead of simply responding to her immediate needs. Like she had been doing for so long.

  “If that smile on your face is any indication, that man is good for you.”

  Alexis’s smile grew even bigger. “He is.”

  Mom squeezed Alexis’s hand. “I’m so glad. I worried about you the most. You always seemed to be more fragile than your brother and sisters. You feel things so deeply. It’s what makes you a good writer, but it also means that your childhood was probably harder than everyone else’s. I was concerned that you’d never let yourself take a chance on love.”

  The more she thought of Chris and love at the same time, the less that idea scared her.

  Chapter 17

  Chris tapped out the final few words of the article on the Cedar Hill High School baseball team winning a bid to the state tournament. When he’d started the article, it hadn’t dawned on him that Alexis’s brother was the coach, although he should have made the connection with their last name. Maybe that was why Justin had gone easy on Chris at the cookout the other day. Chris had braced himself for the typical big-brother grilling, but instead Justin talked up his sister, as if Chris needed to be sold on how wonderful Alexis was.

  A little hint—he didn’t.

  Right after he pressed Send, Larry popped his head into Chris’s office. “Just caught word of a three-car accident on High Street. Casualties.”

  Chris hopped out of his chair and grabbed his notepad. By the time he reached the front door, Zach was on his tail. “Up and at ‘em. Man, I love my job.”

  Chris shook his head and dashed to his truck, barely waiting for Zach to climb in the passenger side before he whipped out of his spot at the curb. It only took a few minutes to reach the scene of the accident. Flashers from two ambulances and three fire trucks and more state police and sheriff’s deputy vehicles than he could count colored the late afternoon sky. This must be a bad one.

  Chris parked his truck in front of the caution tape surrounding most of the block. Two sedans sat beyond the tape, front ends crumpled and their roofs removed by the Jaws of Life. He’d been to many accident scenes, but few warranted taping off. Something else must be going on here.

  He and Zach darted under the tape but barely made it two steps before they were stopped by a deputy. “Sorry, gentlemen. I can’t let you go any further.”

  “I’m Chris Kennedy, and this is Zach Wilson. We’re with the Cedar Hill Gazette.” Chris flashed his press pass at the officer. “What happened here?”

  “The chief will have a statement shortly.”

  Chris opened his mouth to respond and closed it again. They rarely stood on formality in Cedar Hill. But behind the deputy, two paramedics wheeled a gurney toward the back of their vehicle, a black body bag strapped on top. At least one fatality, although Chris wasn’t surprised, considering the condition of the vehicles. But that in and of itself wouldn’t warrant an official statement.

  On a curb, away from the accident scene, a woman huddled with two children clinging to her, her arms around both of them. The cries and sniffles of the woman and the little boy were muffled, but the keening wail of the girl filled the air, striking him smack in the chest. He was immediately taken back to another accident scene in another city with the same outcome. Only that time, he wasn’t the reporter—he was the teenager sitting on the curb, consoling his sister while their parents were transported to the hospital. His father didn’t survive the trip, but his mother hung on for nearly twenty-four hours before succumbing to her injuries.

  Zach, noticing Chris’s focus on the family on the curb, nudged him on the shoulder. “I’ve got this if you need to go.”

  He’d let his personal life affect h
is ability to cover the news for far too long. He spent the next few minutes circling the crowd, identifying a few individuals who’d witnessed the accident and the ensuing road rage incident that ended with one man’s death by the other’s weapon.

  Chris scribbled down facts with his normal efficiency… until the moment that the deputy approached the family huddled on the curb.

  The children stood, and the deputy helped the woman to her feet. She wavered a moment, her gaze trailing to the ambulance as it pulled away from the scene… and then she collapsed. The deputy’s arms caught her before she hit the ground, but their mother’s distress triggered a new wave of grief in the children, with no one to comfort them through their pain.

  And then the boy wrapped his arm around the girl’s shoulder and comforted her.

  He and Robin had only had each other. The pressure to be strong for Robin when he was dying inside had pushed him through every minute of their own tragedy. That family on the curb, the boy caring for his sister, catapulted him back, and the pain cut as deep as it had that first day. But at least Robin had been by his side then, and while he’d provided her strength, she’d done the same for him.

  And now she was gone, too.

  He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t write a story about another senseless death while the one who meant the most to him went unsolved. He scrambled across the scene to where Zach had cajoled a paramedic into discussing the accident. “I have to go. Can you find your way back?”

  He didn’t wait for Zach’s answer before he headed for his truck, threw his notebook on the seat beside him, and jerked the vehicle into gear. A few minutes later, he pulled up to Alexis’s house. Her car was in the driveway, so there was a good chance she was home.

  In the past, he typically worked out his grief by pounding the shit out of a punching bag. But the anguish building in his soul since the moment he stepped out of his truck at the accident scene could only be soothed by Alexis—and that scared the crap out of him.