Chasing Strength: A Harper Family Romance

by Stopper, Nancy

  Alexis lost track of time as she settled into the deep rumble of the bike and the hard planes of Chris’s back, but the sun was high in the sky by the time they arrived in a small town that she’d never been to before. She scanned the downtown area as he drove through, noticing a restaurant and a cute shop right on the main street. And there was a bookstore. She loved walking through book stores, discovering new worlds to explore where she could leave her own behind for a few glorious hours.

  When they approached the other end of town, Chris slowed and then turned into a drive, passing under the wrought-iron gates of Grandview Cemetery. He’d brought her to a graveyard?

  He wound along the tree-lined path, the wide expanse of branches providing much needed shade. He finally came to a stop and cut the engine.

  “What are we doing here?” she asked as she pulled her helmet off.

  He dismounted and set both of their helmets on the seat. He reached for her hand, a look of anticipation on his face, as though he wasn’t sure she would take what he offered. Even after the way she’d behaved, he still wanted to be with her. When she linked her fingers with his, he smiled. “You’ll see.”

  He pulled her close, resting their joined hands over his heart, as they stepped into the grass. He led her up a hill dotted with granite and marble headstones and wrought-iron benches scatted among the markers. He approached a pair of bright white headstones nestled under a tree, one more weathered than the other.

  He’d brought her to see his family.

  A slight breeze blew through the trees, a gentle rustle of leaves and a soulful call of birds the only sounds. Peacefulness surrounded them. Despite her career, or maybe because of it, she’d never liked going to cemeteries. But that was not the case today, the almost bucolic backdrop gave her a sense of serenity. Of peace.

  Chris ran his hand over his parents’ marker and then Robin’s. “Mom and Dad, Robin. I wanted you to meet Alexis. I wish you were here to meet her in person, because you’d really like her. She’s an author and she’s wicked good. She’s wild and crazy and creative and has a great smile. She’s got this big, awesome family, and would you believe it, she’s a twin, too. Robin, you always wondered how cool it would be if either of us dated a twin? Well, you got your wish.” His voice broke as he croaked out those last words. Alexis wrapped her arms around him and snuggled into his chest. “I wanted you to meet her because she’s important to me, and…” He paused so long that she wondered if he was going to finish the sentence. “…I love her.”

  Alexis stifled her gasp. No man had ever said that to her, or about her, as the case may be.

  “I know, Robin. You’re probably laughing at me right now. You always argued with me when I said I would never fall in love. You said when it happened to me that I’d be powerless to resist. Well, you were right. Alexis barreled into my life, or I shoved my way into hers, and before I knew it, I was head over heels.”

  He turned so he was looking at her now and lowered his hands to her hips. “I do. I love you. I was afraid to admit it, but I think I started falling in love with you the first day we met.” He sucked in a breath. “I have to apologize for the other night. I wouldn’t have blamed you if you never wanted to see me again. I was so afraid that I had ruined everything with you.”

  She started to respond but he held up his hand.

  “I want to finish this. I was so happy to see you that night that my heart leapt in my chest. But when I saw that guy coming on to you—”

  “I didn’t want him.”

  “That was obvious from the beginning, but I was scared. Scared that I was going to lose you… like I lost Robin. Scared that he could be another asshole who takes advantage of someone, or a situation, and it ending badly.”

  She lowered her eyes. If only she’d given him a chance to explain before launching a grenade into his bunker. “I thought you were mad at me for drinking.”

  “I don’t give a damn if you drink or don’t drink. I just want to be with you, however, and whenever, I can. But after losing my parents and Robin, I wasn’t sure I was strong enough to handle losing someone else I loved.”

  “I shouldn’t have said what I did. For a minute, it felt like the times when one of my siblings said something about my drinking. I hate my father for how he screwed up my childhood, but it was almost as though I was on a direct course to becoming the same.”

  His gaze softened.

  “For a long time, I did the same damn thing. But you changed that. And you changed me. You showed me a side of myself I wasn’t sure was there, and you made me want to be that person all the time.”

  He tightened his arms around her. “I see the real you, the gentle, caring, considerate person you conceal behind that kick-ass façade. Whenever you need a reminder that she’s there, you just ask me.”

  “If you’re going to remind me of that, I guess you’ll have to stick around, huh?” She fiddled with his T-shirt, picking at invisible lint, afraid of what she’d see.

  But he lifted her chin, so she was forced to look at him… and see the love in his eyes. “I don’t want to be anywhere else. I meant what I said, I love you, Alexis.”

  Her heart fluttered again. She’d never get tired of hearing those words. “I lov—”

  “I don’t expect you to say it back. It’s okay if you’re not in the same place I am. I can be pa—”

  She pinched his lips closed to stop the rambling. “What I was trying to say was… I love you, too.”

  His eyes brightened and a huge smile crossed his face. “Yeah?”

  She laughed at his boyish expression. “Yeah.”

  He lowered his head and pressed his lips to hers, and it was like coming home all over again, wrapped in the arms of the man she loved. The man who loved her.

  They stood arm in arm for a long time, soaking in the reverence of their location. Then Chris pulled away. “One more thing.” He kept one arm firmly around her waist as he turned back to the gravestones. “Robin, I also wanted to tell you that we got him. We got the bastard that killed you. He hasn’t confessed yet, but he will. Or he’ll be convicted. Either way, I will make sure he’ll never be able to hurt anyone ever again.”

  The breeze kicked up, blowing through Alexis’s hair, and for one moment, it was as if Robin was there with them. Smiling down on them. She nudged Chris with her shoulder. “Do you have a picture of her? I don’t even know what she looked like.”

  Chris pulled his phone out of his back pocket, swiped across the screen several times, and then tilted the phone toward Alexis. There was Chris with his arm slung around a girl slightly shorter than him with the same hair and a similar face. Robin had a big grin on her face, but instead of looking at the camera, that smile was directed toward her brother. There was no doubt these two were siblings, and the photo revealed the special bond that existed between twins. “You look so happy.”

  “We were. I miss her so much some days I’m not sure I can draw another breath. But then something happens that reminds me of her, and it’s as if I can hear her voice in my head. She chastises me for being a wimp and not getting on with my life, and she laughs at me when I deserve it. I’ve felt her presence a lot in the few weeks since you and I met, almost as though she was checking you out for herself. Robin had always demanded the right of first refusal on my girlfriends. She never liked the other women I dated—had accused me of simply biding my time until the right person came around. I feel like since I met you, she’s been trying to tell me to go for it.”

  “I wish I could have met her. I promise I’ll do everything I can to be worthy of your love.”

  He pulled her into him again, his arms tight around her waist. “All you have to do is be yourself. That’s good enough for me.”

  Epilogue

  Alexis wrung her hands in her lap. She really didn’t want to be here. She glanced at Serena in the chair beside her. Her sister didn’t look nervous at all.

  Chris laid his hands on her shoulders and leaned over so his mouth
hovered near her ear. “Relax. Everything’s going to be okay.”

  He didn’t know that for sure. Neither did she. All she knew was that her entire family had been invited, although summoned is probably a better word, to Mr. Flemming’s office. And “all” included significant others.

  And Rachel and Sawyer.

  Justin and Maddie huddled behind the chairs in front of the attorney’s desk, whispering to each other. Justin had been the voice of reason in the family since the last time they’d gathered in this office—the day they were informed they had a half-sister they hadn’t known about. If it had been up to Alexis, they never would have reached out to Rachel.

  And that would have been the wrong decision. Her sister—she refused to call her a half-sister anymore—held hands with Sawyer at the end of the row of chairs.

  Izzy sat in the chair in front of Justin and Maddie, Tanner at her side. When Izzy had left Cedar Hill for New York, Alexis assumed she would never come back. She’d only been fifteen but had felt her sister’s absence acutely. She’d never expected that not only would Izzy come back to Cedar Hill, but that she’d open her own dance studio, fall in love, and have a family of her own.

  Serena smiled up at her fiancé Chase. Her twin sister had found the love that neither of them thought they wanted when the man of her dreams had walked into her shelter ten years after they’d first met. Her wedding was less than a month away, and Alexis couldn’t wait to watch her sister get married.

  Mr. Flemming rushed in the door. “I’m so sorry to keep you waiting. I had an emergency call to address.” He rounded the desk and lowered himself into the high-backed burgundy leather chair and placed a slim file folder in front of him. He then scanned the group of them collected around the room. “There are quite a few more people here since the last time.”

  Alexis smiled up at Chris. When she’d first received Mr. Flemming’s note asking her to attend this meeting, she’d been skeptical. Chris had reminded her that no matter what, he was there for her. She had come a long way in the past few months, but she would never forget the bombshell that their father’s attorney had dropped on them a little over two years ago.

  Mr. Flemming stood and offered his hand to Rachel. “We haven’t officially been introduced. It’s nice to finally meet you in person.”

  “Well, I guess I’m the cause of this whole brouhaha. But I have to tell you, I don’t have any regrets.” She smiled at the group of them and rested her hand on Alexis’s shoulder. “If Michael hadn’t hired that private investigator, I never would have found my other family.”

  “And that’s why we’re here today.”

  Alexis stomach flipped. There was only one reason to call her entire family together—this had to have something to do with their father.

  Chris grabbed her hand and linked their fingers together. Thank God he was here with her. She wasn’t sure she was up to dealing with another announcement like the last one.

  Mr. Flemming placed his hands on the desk, on either side of the file folder. “Your father left specific instructions regarding the contents of this folder. He said this codicil of his will was not to be executed until a time I believed, as his executor, that all of his children—and that included Rachel—were ready. Based on the smiling faces I see around me, it’s definitely time.”

  Alexis looked at Chris and he shrugged.

  Mr. Flemming flipped the file open and lifted up a single sheet of paper.

  “This is a letter he wrote to you—to all of you—to be read aloud at a time and place of my choosing.

  “My Dear Children,

  I hope when you hear these words that you are all happy and healthy. I know if that’s the case, it’s no thanks to me and everything to do with your mother. I imagine you won’t believe me, but I loved your mother. I didn’t treat her well and don’t know why she stuck by me for all those years, except for you kids. Marrying her was the smartest thing I ever did. She didn’t deserve to have to put up with me.

  For most of my adult life, I was an alcoholic. My father was an alcoholic and I swore I would never be like he was and before I knew it, I had become him. I thought I was stronger than that, but I was wrong.

  Mr. Flemming scanned the room. “In the next section, he addresses each of you individually.

  “Justin, you were always the protector in the family. I was proud of the way you stood up for your sisters and your mother, although you shouldn’t have had to. I’m ashamed of the role model I was for you and thankful that you overcame your childhood and found happiness with Maddie. I’m glad I lived long enough to see you married. My advice to you is to love her with all your heart. You deserve every happiness.”

  Alexis looked at Justin, his hands clenched into fists. Maddie rested her hand on his arm and Justin relaxed. Dad was right. Maddie was good for Justin, and he was good for her. Thankfully they’d been able to overcome their struggles last year and emerged out the other side stronger than ever.

  “Isabella, my dancer. I know I pushed you hard. Maybe too hard. I told myself that I wanted the best for you, but I know now that what I wanted wasn’t necessarily what you did. At least I was able to see you perform on stage before I died. I know if you’re hearing this that you, too, have found someone that loves you the way you deserve to be loved. The way I wasn’t able to love you.”

  Izzy sniffled, Tanner’s arm came around her shoulder, and she leaned into him.

  “Rachel. I didn’t get a chance to know you, but the one thing I know for sure is that you had a mother and a father who loved you. I hope you’ve had a good life and found love for yourself. I regret the circumstances that led to your birth, but I never regretted you. I missed you every day of my life. Maybe someday you’ll understand the sacrifice I made so you could be raised in a happy, healthy home.”

  Tears rolled down Rachel’s cheeks, and Alexis grasped her sister’s hand. She may have resented the turmoil that Mr. Flemming’s original revelation generated, but she couldn’t imagine her life without all of her siblings. Rachel squeezed her hand and smiled at her. Their relationship had come a long way in the time since they first talked, and Alexis had cheered louder than anyone when Rachel walked across that stage with her bachelor’s degree a few of months ago.

  “Alexis and Serena. My beautiful twin daughters. You may look alike but you are such unique individuals. Serena, you are so giving, and you have a beautiful soul. I hope you have found someone who gives to you as much as you give to everyone else.”

  Alexis extended her hand to her sister. Serena grabbed hold while Chase’s arm came around her. Every word of what Dad had written was true. Serena had a beautiful soul and she had found the perfect man to share her life with.

  Even though Mr. Flemming was reading the letter, Alexis was hearing her father’s voice in her head. The rare, gentle one he’d used on his good days, when he was clear-eyed and interested in what was going on in his kids’ lives.

  “Alexis…”

  She sucked in a breath and Chris’s hand landed on her shoulder. She didn’t know if she had the strength to hear her father’s words from beyond the grave. Through working with her counselor over the past few months, she was coming to understand what had driven her father to drink—the genetic disposition to alcoholism and clinical depression exacerbated by giving away his daughter. Alexis understood that she had many of the same demons inside her and, with Chris’s support, had found more constructive ways to cope when the darkness started closing in. It was as though he sensed when she was going to a bad place and they would ride for hours, getting away from everything and spending time together.

  “My darling Alexis. I see so much of myself in you. But I wasn’t strong like you. My little headstrong girl, you fought me at every turn. That strength will serve you well in life but make sure you let someone stand beside you, to love you like you should be loved. I loved you more than you knew but never found a way to show it.”

  Alexis couldn’t stop the tears from falling. All her l
ife, all she wanted was to know that her father loved her. That she deserved to be loved. Chris had shown her how it felt to be loved and through him, she had also learned to love herself. But that hadn’t assuaged her need for her father’s love. Something she thought she’d never have.

  “In closing, I want to apologize to each of you for your childhood. My only hope is that you have overcome the start I gave you in life and found happiness for yourself. If you’re hearing these words, I believe that you have. My one piece of advice is to remember the good times and love your family fiercely. My love always, Dad.”

  For a few minutes, the only sound in the room was quiet sobs. Mr. Flemming respected the silence and said nothing until Justin stepped up. “Mr. Flemming. Thank you so much for sharing our father’s letter. I think you were right that we were ready to hear it now in a way we weren’t a few years ago.”

  Mr. Flemming replaced the paper in the folder and then presented it to Justin. “He wanted you to have this. I know that you guys had a rough childhood and he was the cause of much of that, but deep down he was a broken man who didn’t know any other way to deal with his grief.”

  Justin nodded and took the folder from Mr. Flemming and then one by one, her siblings and their significant others filed out of the room, through the lobby, and onto the sidewalk in front of the attorney’s office in downtown Philadelphia.

  Chris kept her hand firmly in his as they walked back to his truck. When they reached his vehicle, he pressed the button to unlock the doors and then rested his hand on the passenger door handle. “Wow.”

  “Yeah, wow.” She wasn’t sure what else to say.

  Chris leaned his back on the side of his truck and pulled her to him. “I didn’t know your father and there are some days that I hate him for what he put you through growing up, but he was right.”

  “In what way?”

  “You are the strongest person I know, even when you don’t believe it.”