Lucky and the Crushed Clown

by Emmy Grace

  Cue the nightmares.

  “Glad you’re okay, Lucky. You can’t go getting killed on us,” one of them says.

  “Yeah, we’ve got big plans for you around here,” explains the other with a knowing smile and a tip of her head. It only takes me a second to realize what she’s referring to.

  Or, rather, whom.

  Liam.

  He’s standing right behind her.

  I laugh. It sounds uneasy, but that’s because my stomach feels like a briar patch of nerves. “You girls have a big imagination.”

  Neither responds, but they both grin as they move past me to make room for Clive and Petey.

  “I sure am glad you’re so lucky, lucky lady. We’re getting awful used to having you around here.” He gives my shoulder a tender tap and walks off. Petey just smiles stiffly and follows.

  Weirdo.

  The trio of circus folk makes their way to me next. They move closer at the same time, like one cohesive until, shuffling forward. It reminds me of a very strange and colorful Hydra.

  Jonah is the first to hug me, followed by Pike, and, lastly, George.

  “I’m so glad to see y’all! How are you holding up?”

  I try to make my question sound light, but there’s no real way to do that since one of their own murdered another and is now in jail.

  Jonah puts his arm around Felonious’ waist. “Still in shock, but I’ve got a gorgeous distraction until we pull out of town.”

  He turns eyes that are wonderfully dreamy toward Felonious. She grins back up into his face.

  It’s Pike who mutters, “I’ve been taking nausea medication every day because of this crap.”

  George gives a hearty bark of laughter and Jonah punches his arm. They really do act like family. Good, bad, thick, thin—there for each other no matter what.

  “We just wanted to stop by and thank you. Again,” says Jonah.

  “You’re welcome to come and throw knives with us any time,” Pike declares with a nod. George nods, too, giving his approval.

  “Oh, I think my throwing days are over.” I glance over Pike’s shoulder to where Liam is standing, patiently waiting his turn.

  “I hear you end up unconscious a lot, so that might be best.”

  “You heard that, did you?”

  My look at Liam turns into a glare. He shrugs like he doesn’t know what they’re talking about, but he’s guilty. No question.

  “Can you stay for a quick bite?” Miss Haddy asks from the kitchen.

  The three men look at one another, bob their heads in agreement, and make their way toward her. “We never turn down Southern food,” Jonah states.

  “Smart boy,” she replies.

  That leaves me quasi-alone in the living room with Liam Dunning. Even though he’s bringing up the rear, this has the feeling of the main event. The spotlight part. The Sixteen Candles ending, where Jake is waiting by the car.

  My belly flutters.

  Liam’s wearing a black button-up with sleeves rolled to the elbows, and black jeans that fit him like a glove. His fingertips are resting casually in his front pockets and his hair is still wet from a recent shower. The stubble that always seems to be just the right length heavily shadows his jaw. I wonder if it ever grows and he has to shave, or if he just wills it not to get any longer than this.

  My guess is the latter. His whiskers are probably too intimidated to stick out much further than this. He probably intimidates them into shrinking.

  I might’ve felt a little that way at one point—intimidated—but Liam Dunning doesn’t bother me. Not anymore.

  At least not in that way.

  His scowls don’t scare me. In fact, I’m beginning to take them as some sort of strange compliment.

  “Just couldn’t stay away, could you?” I tease when he stops a foot or two away.

  “I’m gonna have to hire some help at the farm,” he says simply.

  “Uh, okay.” My answer begs the question—so?

  “Seems like I need to free up some more time to chase a lunatic around town as she foils crimes and gets herself into trouble.”

  “Why who could you possibly mean?” I ask in my deepest southern accent, fluttering my lashes and pressing my fingertips to my chest.

  “Even more so now.”

  “Why is that?”

  Liam takes a deep breath and shifts his weight to one leg. “My father...”

  “Your father...?”

  “He wants...”

  “He wants...?”

  “The mayor wants us to...”

  “The mayor wants us to what?”

  Liam drops his head back onto his shoulders, letting his breath out in a hiss as he stares up at my ceiling. “He wants us to...”

  I reach out and grab Liam by his big, big biceps. “For the love of God, man, spit it out!”

  “He wants to pay us to be sort of on-call for town emergencies. Emergencies of the violent variety.”

  I suck in a breath. “Like to be cops?”

  In my head, I’m already Pam Grier-ing it. The clothes, the lingo, the swagger. I even hear a theme song playing, which I will definitely listen to for the rest of forever as I get ready in the morning.

  “No, nothing official like that. Think of it more like being an on-call private investigator.”

  I should be given an award of some sort for being able to successfully contain my excitement. Like maybe a hat. Or a cookie. Of course, at this juncture, I might burst with exhilaration before I could enjoy said award.

  “He’s going to pay us. Pay us. To investigate?”

  “Yes.”

  “This is amazing news!”

  “Yeah, sure. Rah rah,” he cheers with much more sarcasm than enthusiasm. It’s the burning kind, too, and I think it’s singeing my eyebrows. They’ve only been grown back for a week.

  “I’m thrilled. Why aren’t you thrilled?”

  “Why wouldn’t I be? I’ve always wanted nothing more than to work for my father, the man known to all as Slick Willie.”

  He seems genuinely distressed about this.

  And yet, he’s willing to do it anyway.

  Like it or not.

  For me.

  For me.

  As much as the prospect of being paid to investigate, even if it’s just a small on-call amount, thrills me, I can't overlook what this means to Liam.

  Pretty much the exact opposite of what it means to me.

  I think it’s a great opportunity, a huge compliment, and a dream come true.

  Liam thinks it’s a drudgery, a huge ask, and a nightmare come to life.

  But he’s willing to do it for me.

  For that reason alone, I have to be willing to not do it for him.

  “You know what?” I wave my hand casually, like it’s not killing me a little to say what I’m about to say. “We don’t need him. We do just fine on our own. You’ve got the farm. I’ve got my job.” I swallow, repeating those words to myself silently, twice, before I continue. “If I ever get paid to investigate, it’ll be on my terms, not to help some slimy politician further his career.”

  I gulp.

  I’m saying no.

  I’m really saying no.

  I think I might hurl.

  I swallow it back, though. Liam might strangle me if I puke on him again.

  “Seriously?” His brows are tucked down low over his eyes, but this time it’s clear he’s just confused. There’s nothing angry or mean about it.

  "Yeah, seriously. You never know. One of these days I might open a real private investigations office. With my name on the door and everything. Maybe a nice chair and a floor lamp. A mascot for sure. But I don’t have time for that right now.” I look over my shoulder at Regina where she’s standing in the kitchen laughing with Suzie Lynn. “I mean, what would Regina do if I quit testing products for Consumer Global? She’d die of boredom. And I cannot be responsible for killing my best friend. That’s just not right.”

  Liam’s eyes are sligh
tly narrowed on mine, but his frown is slowly dissolving. “So, you’re saying no?”

  “I’m saying no.”

  “Huh.”

  “What’s huh?”

  “You really are something else, Annabelle Boucher.”

  Chills break out and race down my arms. I don’t think Liam has ever called me by my real name. I mean it’s only in the last little while that he stopped saying both Lucky and Boucher like they’re curse words.

  I don’t know what this means, but something in the way the hair is standing up on my arms tells me it means something good.

  Something big.

  That it might just mean everything.

  Every dang nerve and hormone in my body is screaming for him to kiss me, but I know that would be a very bad idea, so I do what I do best.

  I deflect.

  I give Liam my cheekiest grin and all the sass I can muster. “You just now figuring that out?”

  One side of his mouth quirks the tiniest bit. “I’m a little slow sometimes.”

  “You are, but don’t you worry,” I tell him, turning so I can loop my arm through his. It’s a casual gesture, one that says we’re just friends, but really, it’s just my way of being able to touch him, because I feel like I might die if I don’t. “I’ll keep an eye out for you. You’ve helped me enough. It’s the least I can do, right? You can be the brawn and I’ll be the brains.”

  “Whatever you say, Lucky. Whatever you say.” He doesn’t even try to hide the roll of his eyes.

  I’m thinking about how all my favorite people in South Carolina are here right now. All the human ones anyway.

  But some non-human ones are missing. Some of my most important friends.

  “Hey,” I say, glancing around. “Where are my animals?”

  From the bedroom, I hear Squishy squawk like he’s saying “hi,” followed by one short squeak of Gator’s hamster wheel. But there is no barking, no oinking, and no ferocious meowing. A little thread of alarm slithers down my spine. I’m not used to such a quiet house. And I was in the hospital overnight.

  “Where are they?” I ask again, my alarm rising.

  “They’re outside. I knew the crowd would get them stirred up.”

  “Oh. Thank you.” I sag in relief. “You know me so well.”

  “I do. And that’s why I figured you wouldn’t mind.”

  “Wouldn’t mind what?”

  I’m smiling up into his face when I hear an awful screaming sound. It’s similar to the sound a grown man might make if someone were to attach jumper cables to his boy parts and give them a nice jolt of electricity.

  “What in the world was that?”

  “There were two animals that the circus picked up a town back, but they can’t keep them with Fancy’s, so they asked if we knew anyone who could look after them until homes could be found.”

  I’ve never met one of God’s creatures I didn’t like. Except for snakes. And iguanas. And opossums. And pretty much anything else that hisses. Other than that, though…

  “What is it?”

  Before he can answer, I glance into the back yard and see a new structure. It looks like a good-sized doghouse, but flat on top. Standing in front of it is a gray and white goat. Standing on its roof is another, smaller one in solid tan.

  I don’t even get my next question out before the bigger goat opens his mouth and screams like he’s being chased with a butcher knife. Exactly one second later, the little goat on top goes completely stiff-legged and falls right off the roof.

  “Two goats. One screams and the other one faints. I figured they’d fit right in around here.”

  When I look up at Liam, he’s wearing a new expression. One I’ve never seen before. It’s a split between his occasional grin-that's-not-a-grin, and mischief.

  Pure, unadulterated mischief.

  About two seconds later, I hear the barking and oinking and ferocious meowing I was expecting sooner. I glance to the left.

  I see my babies at the opposite end of the fence, doing their best to freak out gracefully. Mr. Jingles is bouncing on his back legs, Gumbo is running in a little circle, snorting as fast as he can, and Lucy-fur is bowed up like that big arch in St. Louis, growling and giving both goats the stink eye.

  Despite what this will mean for my already-wild housing situation, I giggle. “They’re the new kids on the block.” I smack Liam’s arm. “Get it? New kids. Kids.”

  He stares at me for about ten seconds then just turns around and walks off, shaking his head and muttering as he goes. “God help us all.”

  I give a silent “amen” as I watch his delicious back side recede, mainly because I get the feeling we’re all going to need a little extra help in the coming days. Things are heating up around here in Salty Springs.

  In more ways than one.

  Miss Haddy hobbles toward me from the kitchen. When she stops next to me, I reach out and pat her arm. “I’m sorry about Allanda, Miss Haddy.”

  “Oh, don’t be. Every family has some skeletons that come poppin’ out of the closet unexpectedly.”

  “Yeah, you’re probably right.” I pause, dropping my voice when I ask, “Did you know Tabatha would be here?”

  “No. Is there a reason I would?”

  I half shrug. “I just thought maybe you’d know her. Know who she is.”

  “Of course I know her.”

  “You do? So you know who she really is?”

  I look at her meaningfully. I don’t want to come right out and say it’s Felonious because I told Felonious I wouldn’t. And I really don’t want to cross her. She’s too mischievous and unpredictable.

  “She’s the daughter of Chuck Freeman’s brother, Todd. She comes in every year about this time for a visit. Who else would she be?”

  “You mean she doesn’t live around here?”

  “Nope.”

  “That means she can’t be—”

  I stop myself.

  Now I’m just confused.

  “Who did you—” She stops short. “You don’t… You didn’t think that’s Felonious, did you?”

  My eyes widen. “I did! And you’re telling me it’s not?”

  “No, sugar, that’s not our dear teenaged delinquent. But they’ve been friends for years.”

  “She tricked me into thinking she was someone else,” I mutter indignantly. “The ultimate prank.”

  Miss Haddy grins. “Oh, she does love her pranks.”

  “But why…why would she…”

  “Why does she do any of the things she does?”

  “Because she’s mean as a cornered rattle snake, that’s why.”

  I shake my head.

  And here I thought I’d made such a big, important discovery. Turns out I’ve just been had.

  Again.

  “You’ll have to do better than this if you’re ever going to find out who she is.”

  “Be honest. Do you know her real identity, Miss Haddy?”

  Her eyes twinkle. “I have my suspicions. But I know who it’s not, and it’s not the girl standing over there with the stilts boy.”

  “I should’ve known. She was far too nice to be Felonious.” I sigh. “Well, back to square one with her, I guess.”

  Miss Haddy pats my arm. “Just one of the many things to keep a pretty young woman like yourself occupied in Salty Springs.” She turns to look at Liam and then winks at me. “One of many.”

  One of many indeed.

  Just then, as if he can feel us watching him, Liam looks up and meets my eyes. He doesn’t smile, but he doesn’t frown. He just stares. But in this case, that’s all he has to do.

  Something is happening between us. And the time for denying it is quickly coming to an end.

  I smile and then stick my tongue out at him. He drops his head and shakes it from side to side, which makes me giggle.

  Yeah, something is definitely happening between us. And I can’t wait to see what’s coming next.

  I catch Regina’s eye and wave her over to me. A
s she walks off from the little group she’s standing with, Suzie Lynn looks my way, so I motion her to join us.

  When they’ve both reached me, I turn my back to the others (but mostly to Liam because he can probably read lips or something cool and spy-like such as that).

  “Okay,” I say to them in hushed tones, slapping my hands together as my smile widens. “Who’s gonna help me break in and rescue all the animals at that circus before it leaves town?”

  THE END

  UNLESS…

  You’re ready for more Lucky.

  I’ll be sending out a FREE novella with my November, 2019 newsletter where you can read about Lucky’s bungling rescue of the circus animals. Trust me, you don’t want to miss it! Click HERE to sign up . I promise not to spam you:)

  To preorder book 5, LUCKY AND THE DROWNED DEBUTANTE, click HERE.

  Read on for a chapter one sneak peek.

  Lucky and the Drowned Debutante

  Book Description

  Lucky Boucher never has to go looking for trouble. Trouble finds her just fine on its own.

  What do a turkey, a maze, and an inflatable flotation suit have in common?

  As usual, just one thing. Me, Lucky Boucher.

  It’s a standard Monday, and in my life that means I’m performing a product test that would make most people faint and stumbling upon a dead body in the process. In fact, I float right over it.

  Dahlia Hayes is the fiancée of a notorious arms dealer, and now she’s toe up in the biggest lake in town. If that weren’t bad enough, she has past ties to Liam. He’s the grouchy ex FBI agent who has become my sidekick. That or I’ve become his. Some days, I can’t tell which. However, for the first time since we started solving crimes together, Liam and I find ourselves on opposite sides of the proverbial fence. Getting to the bottom of this murder is going to be tricky.

  Things are heating up fast here in Salty Springs. I’m just not sure which is running higher in the case of the drowned debutante—the stakes or the tension. There’s only one way to find out, though—jump right in.

  And I’m just the girl to do a cannonball into the middle of it.