by E M Courier
The second Scarlett enters Olive’s penthouse, after a thirty minute drive to her apartment building, her jaw drops. She was right, her apartment is a hundred times nicer than Kai’s. Kai’s is spacious with a great view—which Olive has, too—but the difference is Olive has design furniture and a beautiful boho theme that makes her place feel welcoming and cozy.
Olive gives her a quick door showing her to a spare bedroom that is nicer than the bedroom she has at her apartment with Jo. The white and pink theme of the room is decorated with furry throw pillows, an egg chair, and tiny elephant statues along with elephant wall art.
While Scarlett checks out the bedroom Olive heads down the hall to her master bedroom to grab some clothes from her closet. She is taller than Scarlett, but they’re around the same size in clothes. There is a sliding glass door in the room leading out to a balcony. Scarlett steps outside and breathes in the fresh air. The sound of the city traffic oddly soothing to her.
“Should I be worried,” Olive says behind her.
“No,” she gives her a reassuring smile. “It just feels nice to be outside after being cooped up.”
“I’m sorry,” she sets down the piles of clothes in her hands on the bed. Walking onto the balcony she stands at the railing next to Scarlett.
“For what?”
“For what my brother did.”
She shakes her head. “It’s not your fault.”
“He’s going to get help,” Olive still feels the need to defend Alexander. “Listen, I can understand if you don’t feel safe here. I get that I’m his sister and you might think I’m conspiring with him—”
“I don’t think that at all,” Scarlett interrupts. “Besides...I don’t have anywhere else to go.”
“What about your friend? Jo is her name, right?”
Scarlett nods. The nagging feeling that she should call her best friend grows more incessant. Jo is probably worried sick out of her mind and might even have a search party after her, but yet she can’t bring herself to dial Jo’s number. Maybe it’s because she’s afraid that Jo wasn’t looking for at all. Maybe it’s because she’s afraid Jo sold the apartment and now she truly has no where else to go. But mainly she doesn’t want to explain to Jo what happened. It’ll make everything too real.
“I don’t mean to pry,” Olive says when Scarlett doesn’t answer. “You can stay here as long as you like and if you’re having trouble moving out on your own, because I know you didn’t get paid that much at Novak, I’ll help you out.”
“You don’t have to.”
“I want to,” she insists. “Besides I have more money than I know what to do with,” she chuckles nervously. “But you’re welcome to stay as long as you want.”
“Thank you, really,” Scarlett gives her a genuine smile.
Olive turns on her heel about to leave the balcony but she stops in her tracks. Standing completely still, Scarlett is about to ask if she’s okay when she looks over her shoulder and says, “And if you need someone to talk to, I’m here. Any time of the day and night. I also understand if you’re not ready to talk or you don’t want to talk to me. If that’s the case I can help you...find someone, you know?”
“Thank you,” Scarlett says again. She puts her hand on Olive’s shoulder. The simple gesture makes her smile, she nods her head and leaves Scarlett to get settled in.
When she’s finally alone in her room, she feels a sense of dread. Nothing feels right. The room is too foreign. The traffic noise is too foreign. Everything feels strange. She feels totally and utterly alone. No cameras watching her. No unannounced visits. No being checked up on. She hates this. She hates that she hates what she’s wanted all along—freedom.
Scarlett strips out of her clothes until she is naked. She’d always been modest but now being bare is what feels most natural and comfortable. She hands roam down her body remembering how Alexander touched her. It felt liberating being with him. Not being able to shake the thought of her captor she sits on the bed, face in her hands, and cries.
It shouldn’t be like this. She shouldn’t want to go back. She should be happy she was saved. Everything feels out of place, visions for her future of being a writer pushes far into the back of her mind, ambitions completely gone. Her every thought is consumed by the broken blind haired boy who lost his mind over the death of his sister.
That night she cries hard and long and eventually passes out from exhaustion. The mansion is in her dreams. She always knew she would see the house again, but it isn’t the reunion like she thought. This dream isn’t a nightmare, the mansion itself feels like an old friend and she happy rushes to the navy colored front door. The closer she gets the louder the chanting in her head gets. I’m home. I’m home. Stopping dead in her tracks, the door slowly creeps open. Stranding in the doorway is Alexander, only it’s not her sweet Alexander. He’s angry with her, pointing her finger and telling her he doesn’t want her anymore. He sends her away, throwing her out.
How can see be on her own without him?
The look on his face is one of disgust, he turns away from her pleading gaze. She begs him to look at her but he refuses. Crying out for Alexander he shuts the door leaving her life for good. The house no longer looks welcoming. The lights inside are all off. The house is dark and an eerie chill blow by. A storm is thundering overhead. She tries every door and window but it’s futile, everything is locked.
Scarlett tried her best to get in, calling Alexander’s name.
Alexander!
Alexander!
Alexander!
“Scarlett!” Olive is shaking her awake.
Looking around the room she half expects to wake up in the mansion. The sight of Olive’s guest room makes her cry. Olive holds on to her tight, refraining from making a comment about how Scarlett is naked.
“Shhh,” she pets her head, “it was just a nightmare.”
Scarlett shakes her head. She isn’t crying because it was scary, she’s crying because the thought of never seeing Alexander again upsets and confuses her.
***
It is the same nightmare night after night. Alexander sending Scarlett away. Alexander ending everything they had. Alexander expressing his hatred for her.
Every morning she wakes up sweating profusely with tears streamed down her face and tear stains on her pillow. A month may not seem like a long time, but a month to Scarlett changed everything. He might have been her captor and she should have hated him, but she bonded with him. No one in Scarlett’s life had ever made her feel that way he made her feel.
The dominance, a craving she didn’t know she had. Alexander was her sexual awakening, it’s almost as though her body was an instrument and he knew how to play her. He picked her up and played as if he were playing in a symphony. A standing ovation. Roses thrown. She loved everything, he body obeying and listening to the hands that played her beautifully.
He knew the instrument that is her body so well that she craved being picked up and played with. Her body set aflame every time he touched her. She always felt shy with her body, shy with her sexuality, but with Alexander she didn’t want to hide. She wanted him to take everything and use her until she hit a crescendo.
Scarlett never had many friends. Boys didn’t bother with her. Even Jo would have rather take a man home to have sex with than have a girls movie night with her. Her father for years, although loved and took care of her, he was too busy looking over his shoulder from them being on the run. All these years Scarlett has been in the background, she’s never been the main player, she’s never been the girl that boys would sacrifice everything to be with. She was always just there, existing but not being noticed. Although Alexander took notice in her for the sole purpose of getting to her father, he made her feel like she mattered.
He cared for her. Worried for her. He indulged in her. He was never abusive physically or verbally, he read her like a book understanding what she needed. Discipline. Love. Attention. He never did anything she didn’t want. She freely ga
ve him permission. She wanted him. She told him she wanted him.
Even now as a month has passed since Liam saves her from Alexander’s mansion, she doesn’t regret giving him her virginity. She thought with time she would realize she was being manipulated. That falling in love with a captor was normal. But maybe this was more than that.
He didn’t force her and she never truly fought him. She might’ve protested out of embarrassment, but in the back of her mind she knows all too well that she wanted it. She wanted everything he gave her and Alexander knew it, too. He never pushed her beyond what she could take. Even when he did—that time with the vibrator—he rewarded her with a soak in the bathtub and a nap afterwards.
Scarlett knows she sounds crazy, that no one would ever understand. They’ll blame it on psychology, but Scarlett knows after a long time of reflection that she fell in love with Alexander.
She didn’t fall in love with Alexander the man who kidnapped her and tortured her father, she fell in love with the glimpse of the boy he was before Ellie died. The Alexander his siblings called a loving, gentle, fun guy. There are two sides of Alexander, Scarlett learned, the side of Alexander that kidnapped her was obsessed with making Gavin suffer. That is the side that kept her in the mansion against her will, it is the side that marked her skin to show her father and make him suffer emotionally. The side of Alexander she fell in love with is the side that kept her safe from himself. The moment they arrived he could have raped her, tortured her, and done much worse in front of her own father. Her father witnessing his daughter being savagely tortured would have ruined him so much more than Alexander showing off hickeys and spurting false threats against her. But he didn’t. Because the Alexander that she fell in love with asked for permission before advancing, he made sure she never felt forced or uncomfortable. It’s the same side that nursed her out of her migraine spells.
Her month in captivity she was held by two Alexander’s. One that was so far gone he could distinguish between right or wrong and focused on the goal of making a man who hurt his family suffer. The same side that is grieving, angry, and hopeless. The other side was Alexander as he was sixteen years ago before the accident, the one that didn’t want to hurt anyone but was still confused about how someone could hurt him so badly. It’s the side that made love to her. The next day the other side pushed away scared to lose someone again. Afraid to love and have it taken away.
After a month of thinking Scarlett decided Alexander was never a bad guy, but he was sick and sixteen years too late for getting help.
“Can I talk to you?” Scarlett asks nervously as she steps into the living area where Olive is reading a book.
“Of course!” She pats the cushion on the couch next to her.
The two of them have grown close this past month of living together. She’s been patient with Scarlett helping her through her nightmares and trauma while also understanding that it’s taking her a while to get back on her feet and back to normal.
Scarlett sits next to Olive but she can’t seem to look her friend in the eye. What she’s about to say will change everything. She’s scared and nervous as the words fall out of mouth, “I think I’m pregnant.”
Olive drops her book. Her jaw hanging open and eyes wide with shock. “What?”
“I-I’m not sure, but I’m pretty sure I am.”
“How? I mean what? I mean...oh my god, Scarlett,” Olive wraps her arms around her, holding her.
“It’s been a while since I got my period but I haven’t taken a test. All the symptoms lineup though.”
One night last week she was feeling nauseous. Her symptoms were strange, her breasts hurts, she felt tired and bloated. At first she suspected her period before remembering her last period was nearly three months ago. That’s when she also remembered that when at the mansion Rosie instructed her to take birth control pills, she started taking them because actively checked up on her. After a few days Scarlett was furious with the thought of what taking birth control pills meant, she threw the tiny pink pills in the toilet and flushed.
Now she realizes her stupid mistake for throwing them out and not taking them. She didn’t even think of the pills or a condom when her and Alexander were lost in their intimate act.
“Well then, first things first we need to get you a test.”
“And then?”
“If you’re pregnant we’ll get you a doctor appointment, if you’re not then...then we’ll forget this whole thing ever happened.”
***
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
It’s been nearly two months that Alexander has spent at a grief treatment center. His parents sent him to best facility money could buy.
For the first time he’s been able to think of something other than revenge. He’s been able to think of a healthy life for himself. A life that Ellie would be proud of him for trying to accomplish. He’s learned to let go of the anger that came from the accident that took her life. He learned to let go of the guilt he had for driving the car and letting her be a passenger even though she was too young and small to be sitting there.
He can’t say he is completely healed and part of the healing process is accepting that there may be part of him that will never recover. But he acknowledges that he has to move on and try and live the life he wanted. To move on and find purpose in his life again.
Scarlett is what he thought a lot about while at the grief treatment center. She could have been his purpose, even when he held her hostage at his mansion, he was able to think past his need for revenge to think of his need for her. He’s trying to accept that she is truly gone and that she will never want anything to do with him because of the horrible things he did to her. He doesn’t blame her and isn’t looking for forgiveness but he’s trying to let go of Scarlett and forgive himself for hurting her. Maybe one day he’ll be able to settle down and find love again.
It’s one of his ambition goals: to find someone who can provide him with love and support and to provide love and support for that someone, too.
Walking out of the grief treatment center his siblings and parents are all waiting for him with open arms. For the first time in a long time he smiles at them. For years he’s avoided family gatherings because it reminded him that someone was missing. He rushes toward them hugging his mother first, who is crying. They all pile in making it a group hug. Looking around he notices Atticus didn’t show. He agreed to attend therapy with Alexander but the morning of he didn’t show. Liam tells him they haven’t seen him since. Atticus does that type of stuff a lot—disappearing without anyone knowing. Probably getting himself into more trouble.
“We’ve missed you,” Olive pats his back. “How do you feel?”
“My mind is a lot clearer,” he admits. “I feel better. It’s a process.”
“You look better,” Kai comments with a smile. The rest of his family nods in agreement.
His mother offers for him to stay at their house for a few days, but all Alexander wants to do is go back to his penthouse and relax. While the experience of grief counseling has been beneficial, it’s mentally taxing. He’s drained from all the emotional purging.
After gently declining his parents offer to stay at their house. His siblings invite their parents to hang out at one of their places but apparently today is a busy day for them and maybe another time. His parents kiss and hug him goodbye and drive back home in their car. Liam invites the siblings over to his penthouse and as he’s about to decline that offer, too, but he decides that maybe being alone and away from his family isn't the best thing for him right now. Maybe the next step toward self improvement and healing is spending time with siblings just like he used to.
Alexander sits in the passenger seat of Liam’s new red flashy sports car as Kai and Olive pile into the back. His mind wanders to Atticus and what he’s doing. Alexander suddenly becoming extremely worried for the wellbeing of his littlest brother. Atticus has been fucked up since childhood and if anyone could benefit from therapy, it’d be him. But he
’s always been on the run, always independent, always doing what he wants, and always getting into trouble.
“It’s a celebration,” Liam smiles looking between him and the road. “Let’s go back to my place and we can order pizza from your favorite place.”
“That sounds nice,” he gives a quick smile before staring out the window.
The whole car ride his usually talkative siblings seemed relatively quiet. Alexander can’t tell if the awkwardness was because they’ve become afraid of him for what he did two months or because they were hiding something. Either way something doesn’t feel right. Maybe it’s just him—his fresh outlook on everything makes things seem different, off almost.
Shaking off the weird feeling, he thinks of pizza. It’s not that the food they served him was horrible, but they definitely didn’t serve him pizza and since it’s been mentioned, his mouth has been watering.
Liam’s penthouse is just as he remembers--neat and homey. Many nights were spent in his apartment when Alexander couldn’t sleep. Many of those night's Liam stayed up with him and listened to his obsession, his plans. His little brother has always been supportive of him, always there, and always had his back. That is why it was so easy to forgive him for crashing through his expensive gates at his mansion and stealing Scarlett. Alexander actually thanks him for what he did, he probably saved him from a string of bad choices had he not forcibly taken Scarlett away from him.
“I’ve missed you,” Olive wraps her arm around him.
Liam and Kai are ordering a pizza in the kitchen leaving Olive and Alexander to get acquainted in the living room. He’s missed his sister so much words can’t explain it.
“Thanks for the reality check, Olive,” he hugs her back. “And I’m sorry.”
“We were all just worried about you,” she frowns.
“I know,” he says with understanding. “It was needed. Don’t look so guilty. Everything is fine,” he reassures her.
She still looks upset over something, picking at her fingernails when they part from their hug.