A low growl comes from Ryan, vibrating my mouth and traveling through my nerve endings, completely encapsulating me in the flames that burn inside of me.
This is wrong. This is so fucking wrong. But it feels so damn right. So, so right.
Ryan walks backward until my back is against the wall. His hands start to work my clothes off, starting with my tank top and then slowly sliding down until my sweatpants fall to the floor. He pulls away from me for a split second to rip his shirt off and toss it to the side. I take this moment to look at him and damn near fall over. He is built for his age, muscles on display like he should be inside of a museum for all to see. He smirks when he sees me looking at him the way I am. Without hesitation, his lips are on mine again.
I can hear his belt being undone and then the familiar sound of a zipper. My head spins with the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other. Both are yelling at me, screaming at the top of their lungs, telling me to stop. Because even the devil knows I'm fucking up big time. I gasp when I feel his fingers slide into my panties and between my legs.
“Well, damn, Pretty Dancer.” He whispers against my neck, “I knew you had a thing for me, but this just further proves it.”
Before I can respond, he slides his fingers inside of me, taking me by surprise. My nails dig into his back, attempting to find something to keep me grounded because gravity has disappeared and I’m floating on the clouds of something euphoric I’ve never felt before.
Ryan uses his other hand to slip my panties down. The soft fabric slides down my legs and pool at my feet with the rest of my clothes. I’m fully naked in front this kid. Completely on display for him to see and as embarrassed as I should be, I feel completely confident. He pulls his fingers out of me then slips them into his mouth, letting out a soft moan as he licks them clean.
“You taste like sin.” He says, his voice filled with desire. His remark breaks my heart, but I don’t have time to dwell on it. Ryan bends down and grabs me behind my knees, lifting me up and then wrapping my legs around his waist. I can feel his erection against my bare ass before he grabs himself. Looking down, I see him position himself. I want to protest. I want to stop this. I want to slap him and scream for help but when he pushes inside of me, all I can do is lean my head against the wall and moan.
“Oh, God.” I let out a shuddering breath which causes him to push inside of me harder.
“Oh, Pretty Dancer.” Ryan growls, “So sweet, and so dirty.”
He pulls out of me slowly, then plunges back in, creating his own agonizingly pleasurable rhythm. He runs his hands up my arms, lacing his fingers with mine before he pins my arms to wall. He still himself, looking down. Then he slowly pulls out, slowly goes back in, watching himself fuck me. When he looks up, my eyes meet his. For a split second I think I see regret cross his face, but it’s quickly replaced with a devious smirk. It’s at this moment he stops torturing us with his sloth like movements and begins to really fuck me. Pushing harder and faster with each thrust. My back hits the wall, the sound echoing through the empty dance hall.
Ryan lets go of my hands, then grabs my thighs, using my weight to help him push inside of me harder than before. The smells of cinnamon, cigarettes, and sex fill the air around us and the only sounds heard are the moans and heavy breathing coming from both of us. I release my hold on his shoulders with one of my hands, sliding it down to my swollen bud and start to rub it. He leans back just enough to give me the space to do so while he watches both of us pleasure me.
He picks up the pace when my eyes close and my hand moves faster. I’m so close, I can feel that familiar build in the pit of stomach. I move my hand faster, pressing down harder until it almost fucking hurts and then it happens. I come. Hard. An explosion of stars and lights and lust and sin happen right in front of me.
Ryan kisses me as he quickens his speed, not letting up as the waves of pleasure rip through me, making my orgasm intense and so fucking amazing. He sucks my bottom lip into his mouth and bites down gently, and all too soon, he slows down, letting out bated breaths until finally, he stops completely.
He lets go of my lip, putting his forehead on mine. My eyes are closed, I can't see him. I can't look at him. It's happening. Regret, anger, guilt, sadness. They’re all swelling up inside of me, threatening to consume my entire being.
Ryan pulls out of me, then zips his pants. I drop to the floor, avoiding his gaze and trying to dress myself as quickly as I can. Oh my God! My chest tightens as heartbreak overwhelms me.
Ryan bends down and hands me my tank top, then gently put his finger under my chin, lifting my face until my eyes meet his. He smiles, wiping the sweat from my upper lip.
“Dirty little Dancer. We'll keep this our little secret.” He whispers, giving me an innocent wink.
With that, he gets to his feet, grabbing his shirt on the way, and leaves. He just leaves. While I sit here and watch, feeling heartbroken for too many conflicting reasons. The main one being that I just cheated on my husband. I just had sex with one of my students. I could lose everything. My husband. My job. My life. Everything.
Fuck, what have done?
N I N E
RYAN
Sweat pours down my back as I run for mile five. I’ve been out of the house since four this morning, before my parents got up. Before the sun even came up. I didn’t sleep worth a shit last night, but that’s what usually happens after I lay another weight of rebellion on my chest.
I’m sure you thought I was some pompous, spoiled, broken asshole who just needed a good ass whooping growing up, right? Maybe just a hug or two, a little love? Sorry to burst that bubble, but that’s not the root of my evil. Not all of it anyway. I’m sure, though, you’re sick of hearing about my shitty life growing up. So, that’s enough of that. I have other things on my mind.
Like how I can’t stop thinking about how good Emily felt while I fucked her. It was almost unrealistic. Her body was a treasure chest awaiting to be opened, and I opened it. I grabbed the gold, and I caressed it. Probably not in the way she would have wanted, but I did. And it felt fucking Godly.
I won’t lie, the weight of guilt hit me once we were done. The after effects of my bad decision, if you will. Kind of like the side effects of any drug you take. The look on her face when I just walked out has to be one of the worst-looks I’ve ever seen on a human being. It was like I broke her. Like I took something from her, just so I could have what I wanted.
In a way, I did. I fucked her so I could have another notch in my belt for not only embarrassing my parents, but another notch for me getting away from this place. From them. From everything. I just want to start over with a fresh book of blank pages for me to write a new life in. In my act of greed, if you want to call it that, I more than likely ruined her entire life. The thing is, the one thing keeping me from going back to her and apologizing and skipping town, is she didn’t stop me. Not once did she show me any sign of not wanting what happened.
The second my lips touched her, I knew she wanted it just as much as I did, but for a different reason. Her body responded to me in ways no one else has. The way she pleasured herself while I fucked her, it took everything in me not to come then. It was heaven on Earth and I was God for a split second, getting to indulge in something sinful behind closed doors.
Because we all know God was just as much of a sinner as the rest of us.
“Fuck!” I breath out, coming to a stop on top of the hill. Looking down at my tracker, I see I hit five and half miles. I guess I was more caught up in my thoughts than I had realized. I wipe the sweat from my brow and turn back toward my house. I need to shower and eat something before I pass out. As much as I would like to use that as an excuse not to go to school today, I’m not going to.
I have something else in mind for the day.
T E N
After my run this morning, I took a quick shower and dressed in a pair of grey sweatpants and a black tee. I figured if I was going to pursue Pretty Dancer today, I best
stay on her good side. And dressing to impress and dance should do the trick.
The bell rang not too long ago, releasing us from our previous class. I’m sitting outside of the dance hall, waiting for her to open the door. I’m nervous, for some unknown reason. Maybe it’s because I expect her to slap me when she sees me. I wouldn’t stop her, or blame her, but that won’t stop people from wondering why she did it.
Isn’t that what you want, dipshit!? I think to myself. Getting to my feet, I let out a harsh breath and run my hands through my hair. I need to get my shit together and focus on my personally appointed task.
Step One: Seduce Pretty Dancer
Step Two: Let the secret out
Step Three: Watch the chaos unfold.
Step one is done, now all I need to do is—“Are you coming in?”
I turn and see Pretty Dancer standing there, holding the door open with a blank stare.
“Yeah.”
Walking by her, I head over to the same spot I always sit and drop my near-empty bag on the floor. I think I have maybe one pen and a notepad. I don’t see the point in having anything else in there when I’m not going to use it.
I watch from my spot as the classroom fills up, Pretty Dancer avoiding my presence the entire time. I’ll grab her attention shortly and maybe later she can grab something of mine. A smirk starts to spread across my face at the thought but is quickly wiped away when I see the dean walk in with the fucking counselor.
“Class. Listen up!” Pretty Dancer says, “Dean Kellie and Mrs. Welch would like to speak with you guys.”
The dean nods once, then steps forward. “I’ll make this quick. Last night, our security cameras caught a student leaving Grand Valley at a late hour. The only ones we allow here after school hours are staff members. School ends at three. Extra-curricular activities do not go past four. This person was seen leaving at eight.”
My eyes land on Pretty Dancer, but she isn’t looking at me. She’s looking at the floor.
“I want it to be known that if anyone else is seen leaving this property after hours, we will seek repercussions and this person will be reprimanded.” Mrs. Welch adds in, looking at me as if she is going to steal my soul with her gaze. I smile at her innocently. “I have my suspicions, but until I know for sure, every single student here at Grand Valley Prep is under surveillance.”
They act like someone came in here and wrecked the place. I laugh to myself and roll my eyes.
“Something funny to you, Mister Styles?” Mrs. Welch says, getting Pretty Dancer’s attention.
“There is, but it’s nothing that concerns you, Mrs. Welch.” I reply curtly, smiling brightly.
“Well, maybe you can tell me later in my office. See me before you leave. And that’s a demand, Mister Styles. I expect you to be there.”
With that, both her and the dean walk out. As soon as the door is shut, Pretty Dancer turns toward the class. “You guys can have a free day. I do expect my Winter Formal performers to practice their routine, though.”
Everyone else gets to their feet and begins doing whatever it is they want. Some pair up and begin stretching, others find their little group and gossip. Pretty Dancer attempts to scurry off and hide away in her office, but as she passes me, I stop her.
“Mrs. Emily.”
She goes rigid at the sound of my voice but stops just short of being in front of me. “Yes, Ryan?”
“I was wondering if you could teach me a few moves I saw Francis doing the other day in class.”
“Not today, Ryan.” She turns, trying to walk away yet again but I gently grab her elbow and pull her toward me. Her arm bumps into my chest, and her leg brushes my groin, causing me to groan.
“Today, Mrs. Emily.” I tell her, pulling her a little closer. “I would hate for certain someone’s to find out that you aren’t helping students in ways you should be.”
Her head snaps toward me, anger pours from her gaze and burns my skin. “You wouldn’t!”
“Maybe. Maybe not.” I whisper, “I wanted to stay on your good side, but it seems that you only like me when I’m on your bad.” She shakes her head, pulling herself out of my gentle hold, and straightens herself out. “No black leo today, I see.”
“What moves are you talking about?” She says, changing the subject and putting as much distance as she can between us.
I smirk at her, wondering if sticking around here to mess with her would be a more productive way to spend my time until I can ditch this shit hole. Then I realize that I’ve never thought about hanging around for anyone and it sours my mood.
“You know what, never mind.” Her face falls and before she can say anything, I bend down and grab my bag. Pushing by her, I walk toward the door to leave.
If I don’t leave now, then I have a feeling I may never want to.
E L E V E N
EMILY
It’s been twenty-four hours since I secretly ruined my life.
Twenty-four hours since I slept with one of my students.
Twenty-four hours since I saw my husband face-to face.
And twenty-four hours of non-stop thinking about how badly I want to do it again—even with the consequences it entails if anyone ever finds out. Regardless of how shitty I felt after, all I can think about is how much fun it was. How amazing it felt and how I have never felt anything like that with Dan.
Ever.
It was rejuvenating.
As much as I should be concerned about my husband finding out, I’m more concerned about the dean and counselor finding out. They saw him leave the property after hours. I completely forgot they monitor all cameras in the morning before school starts. If they find out, then it’s over for me. In all aspects of my life.
I swallow hard, turning the music up a little more. My class dismissed about an hour ago and I’ve been here by myself, thinking.
I fucked up royally, but that still doesn’t stop the tingle in the pit of my stomach. The one that keeps reminding me of my mistake.
I called off my date with Dan last night. I lied to him and said I was helping a student with her Winter Formal dance routine because she couldn’t get it down herself. I didn’t go home until I knew for sure he was asleep and then I crawled into bed after I scrubbed myself in the shower. I tried to wash the guilty pleasure from my skin, but I don’t think I’m going to be able to rid myself of this.
“Shit!” I say as I trip over my feet and hit the floor with a thud, landing right on my tailbone. I get to my feet and rub the sore spot. “God dammit.”
“I think I should be the one bruising your body, don’t you?” Ryan says from the doorway.
“You need to leave. You aren’t supposed to be here!” I tell him frantically.
“That’s not true. I just left Mrs. Welch’s office. That’s where I went after I walked out of here.”
“Well?” I ask.
“What?” He shrugs.
“What did you say, Ryan?” I exaggerate.
“She believes that, by some miracle, I can turn into this cunning young man and I told her I think dance is the perfect discipline for that. It would be the best outlet for me since it’s at school and it would get me away from the marvelous home I live in.” He says, stepping toward me. “I was able to bat my lashes and swoon her with a few fake tears. I’m allowed to stay after school for however long I want as long as you are on school property with me, teaching me lessons. At the end of the year—if I’m still here, that is—she wants to see what all I’ve learned.”
“You’re leaving?”
“That’s what you got out of all that?” He chuckles, a delicious smirk spreading on his face. “I think you like me Pretty Dancer.”
“I think you’re full of yourself. What happened yesterday will never happen again. Do you understand?” I tell him sternly. Crossing my arms over my chest, I take a step back and look at him, waiting for him to reply.
Ryan rolls his eyes. “Whatever you say, Pretty Dancer.”
“And you wil
l call me Mrs. Emily, just like everyone else.”
“Whatever you say, Mrs. Emily.”
A sour feeling settles in my stomach when he calls me that. It’s doesn’t sound right coming from him. Stop it, I scold myself. I shake my head and stand straight.
“When do you want your lessons to start?”
Ryan shuts the door behind him and locks it, “Now.”
The sweet smell of my body wash and the delectable scent coming from him float around us. His proximity is killing me. His body is so close to mine, parts of him brushing against me, causing goosebumps to spread across my body. I made a promise to myself to stay professional and I plan to keep that promise.
I have too much to lose. I can’t let lust wrap her hands around my neck and take hold of me. Once was enough. Once should have never happened, and once will never happen again. When I look up and see Ryan looking down on me, I have to repeat to myself that once will never happen again because I really want for it to happen right now
T W E L V E
I’ve been sitting in my driveway for about ten minutes now. I didn’t come straight home after leaving the school, I needed time to think. I have yet to face my husband after what I did with Ryan. I don’t know if I can, but if I don’t, he will know something’s up. I sigh, leaning forward and place my forehead on the steering wheel. It feels like my heart in in my throat and I can’t breathe.
I’m such a terrible person.
Love is Strange: A Taboo Anthology Page 17