Dan doesn’t deserve what I’ve done to him, and regardless of how I feel, I have to tell him…eventually. Not tonight, but I will.
“Who am I kidding?” I say to myself with a pitiful laugh. “I’m screwed.”
I wipe the snot from under my nose and check my face in the rearview mirror to make sure it doesn’t look like I was crying. Getting out of my car, I walk inside and shut the door behind me. My feet are killing me today, so I’m hoping I can fake my way into bed early. The less time I’m awake and around Dan, the less of a chance I have at opening my mouth and ruining my life even further.
“Em?” Dan calls out.
“It’s me!” Slipping out of my shoes, I walk into the kitchen and stop dead in my tracks. My stomach sinks to the floor as Ryan locks eyes with me. “What are you doing here?”
“My parents haven’t been home in a few days, and I knew you said if I needed anything, I could stop by. Was just wondering if you could help me with some groceries. I don’t mean to intrude.”
“Ryan was just telling me how you’ve taken him under your wing as a mentor.” Dan walks over to me and wraps me in his arms, “Aren’t you just the sweetest?” He leans down and kisses me. His lips on mine feel wrong now, especially in the eyes of the person who made it feel that way. Pulling away, I give Dan a small smile before I turn my attention to Ryan.
“I have a few things I can pack up for you, do you know how to cook?” I ask him, giving him pleading eyes, hoping he sees the desperation in them not to say anything.
“Yeah. I just—they usually leave enough money for me to get by until they come home. I feel bad for asking.”
“It’s okay. That’s what we’re here for. Especially Emily. She loves to help.” Dan chimes in happily. “Why don’t you go get changed and I’ll pack up some stuff for him.”
I smile and nod, “Thanks. Good night, Ryan.”
“Night, Mrs. Emily.”
I turn on my aching feet and walk toward our bedroom. Once inside, I walk over to my dresser, searching for something comfortable to wear. Some days I long to be in my leotards, others I want to burn them all and just live in leggings and big t-shirts.
“So, this is where he gets fuck you? Lucky man.”
I jump, dropping the clothes in my hands as I turn to face Ryan.
“What are you doing in here?” I bark at him.
“Calm down, Emily.” He says my name in a sing-song voice with that delicious smirk on his face. “Danny Boy is loading some food up in his car for me and I asked for the restroom.”
I shake my head, “Please get out.” Don’t go. “You really need to leave.” Come closer.
The words coming out of my mouth are fighting the words swirling around in my head. I swallow hard, fighting myself on standing my ground and keeping the promise I made not too long ago. Ryan steps toward me, but instead of protesting, I just accept what he does next.
Ryan lifts me up and kisses me as he pushes me against the dresser. The hunger in his kiss sets my skin on fire and my insides ache to feel him inside of me again. I hate myself for feeling this way, but I can’t seem to convince myself that it’s wrong even though I know it is.
Ryan breaks our kiss, putting his forehead against mine. “I had plans Pretty Dancer,” he whispers, “But you shifted every single detail I had mapped out.”
I want to ask him what he means by that, but I hear the front door close before I can question his words. Ryan sets me down, running his thumb over my lower lip before he smiles at me and turns around to walk out of my room.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Mrs. Emily. Wear that black leotard for me.” He winks before he disappears out of my room. Quickly, I gather my things and dart into the bathroom before Dan can find me. I’m sure I look even guiltier than before.
“Jesus, Em.” I whisper, looking at myself in the bathroom mirror. My lips are swollen, and my eyes are glossed over. My fingers trace my lips, the feel his still on them.
“Hey, babe.” Dan knocks on the door, making me jump. I wipe my face, riding it from the tears I didn’t know were falling. “I’ll be back shortly.”
“Uh—okay. I love you.”
“I love you, Em.”
T H I R T E E N
RYAN
I think I’ve become better at lying to myself more than others. I keep telling myself that I can just fuck her and ruin everything she has and what I have, but I can’t shake her like I thought I could! She has become this addiction in such a short amount of time and I need to detox fast before I find myself craving her in ways that will fuck up my plans.
I pull on my dick a little harder, thinking about how her pussy felt around it. I didn’t get what I wanted tonight, so this will have to do. The sounds of her soft moans fill my ears as I tug harder, faster, trying to reach that point of ecstasy I need right now.
Getting to my feet and running my hands through my hair. I position myself in front of my dresser and lean against it before I start to jerk myself off again. Visions of her face fill my head. The way she looked while I was deep inside of her, fucking her like she deserved. That’s it, I think as I go faster. Her moans fill my head again and her rubbing her clit flashes across my mind.
“Oh God,” I breathe out, feeling my release, then all too quickly, I come. My entire body tenses up before it relaxes completely. I sigh, dropping my head. “Fuck!”
Dropping down on my bed, I grab a shirt from the floor and clean myself up. I lay down and close my eyes tightly, trying to stop whatever the fuck it is I’m feeling.
At first it was lust. I was drawn to her because she was nothing more than a pawn for me to use before the big check mate moment. Now—now I don’t know what the fuck is going on with me and I hate it. I won’t stray from what I feel I need to do, but I guess for the time being, I can linger until I figure out what to do next.
“No. No, no, no!” Shaking my head, I drop my backpack and run to the dance hall door. In big black letters on a white piece of paper:
DANCE CANCLED FOR TODAY. PLEASE GO TO THE LIBRARY FOR STUDY HALL.
I ball the piece of paper up and toss it to the side before I bend down and grab my bag. I wonder where she is and why she didn’t come in today, but I guess I’m about to find out because my feet are moving of their own accord straight to my car as thoughts of me driving to her house fill my head. I walked there last time, just so she wouldn’t see my car. I knew if she had, she wouldn’t have come inside to see me sitting at her kitchen table talking with her husband.
When I get to my car, I see a note on the windshield. Stupid fucking kids. They should know better than to go near my—Meet me at 1324 Spencer St after school. -Pretty Dancer.
Well, fuck. My day just got a lot more interesting. Getting into my car, I plug my phone in and type the address into my GPS before driving off to where she is.
I would be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous. I don’t know what she has up her sleeve but I’m going to find out soon enough
F O U R T E E N
The address that my GPS took me to is an abandoned building behind the food mart. It’s small enough to be ignored, yet too much of an eyesore not to stick out. I’m confused as to why she would tell me to come here.
Getting out of my car, I shut the driver door and lock it before I stuff my keys into my pocket. My Vans crunch against the gravel as I make my way to the front door. I don’t see her car anywhere nor do I see her. When I get to the front, I open the door and peek inside. There are lights are on, giving the outside appearance a run for its money.
I'm shocked to see the inside looks way better than the outside. There are floor to ceiling mirrored walls with bars attached to them and the flooring looks new. It’s fairly clean, only a bit of dust coats the almost new looking floor. My confusion deepens the further inside I go. Everything is pretty much new.
“What is this?” I say to myself, walking further into the seemingly empty building. “Hello?”
I turn around to see a Pretty Dance
r standing behind me with a dirty wash cloth in her hand, her face smudged with dirt and whatever else is inside this place. She is in a large shirt and a pair of grey sweatpants with her hair in a messy bun.
“I’ve been secretly cleaning this place up for about four years now on my own. I bought it when I started at GVP. I wanted to rebuild it and surprise Dan, show him that my dreams aren’t as lost as he thinks they are. As I think they are, too.” She drops the stuff in her hands, looking at me with something floating on the surface of her face that I can’t quite place. “I’m a terrible wife, I always have been. Trying to one up my husband because he has always done the one thing I never I did. He chased his dreams. He is doing what he loves to do and is excelling at it. I love him, and he is good to me. But he—” she pauses, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. “He is so predictable, no since of adventure outside of the kitchen…and has never made me feel what you did the other night. Not even a fraction, but it’s wrong. It’s illegal. We can both get into so much trouble. You probably couldn’t care less though.”
She sighs, her entire demeanor changing when she exhales, like that one breath changed everything for her in that moment. Before I can say anything, she stalks toward me, stripping out of her oversized t-shirt, revealing the black leotard that hugs her ever so perfectly. Her lips are on mine as soon as she is within reach, her hands tangling in my hair. It takes me a moment to recover from the sudden change she’s made. When I finally gain my bearings, I deepen the kiss and pick her up. Her petite legs wrap around my waist as I hold her, my fingers digging into her ass cheeks. She pulls away for a moment, breathless and panting.
My eyes dance over her dirty face. “I take it it’s time for an encore then, yeah?”
She barely even has the word yes out of her mouth before I devour her. Setting her down, I break our kiss, pulling my shirt over my head. Fisting my hands in her hair, I pull her back toward me, kissing her again with more drive behind it.
“How dirty can you be, Pretty Dancer?” I whisper, my voice thick with lust.
Her beautiful eyes lock with mine and she smirks. For the first time since I've met this woman, she smirks.
“Sit down, Mister Styles.” She commands in a sexy teacher voice, pointing to a chair nearby. I hold my hands up, surrendering myself over to what’s about to happen. The chair screeches against the floor as I turn it around and sit down. Looking around, she is nowhere to be seen. A few seconds later, the lights dim, and music starts to play.
I like wherever this is going.
“Pretty Dancer?” I say in a sing-song tone.
“No talking Mister Styles.” She steps from around the corner of a hallway to my right. Her hair is down, and she is wearing just the leotard now, nothing else. She looks so fucking sexy yet elegant. Her legs are long, lean, and probably my favorite part of her right now. I bite my lower lip as my eyes scan the rest of her—which makes me a liar, all of her is my favorite part.
She struts toward me slowly, like I’m an animal unaware of the dangers lurking around me. She is dangerous. Whether she knows it or not, I do. I can feel it in the pit of my stomach. She is that feeling you get before you do something terrible—the sinking feeling that wants to weigh you down and stop you, but somehow you keep going, regardless of the added weight.
She twirls twice before she comes to a stop in front of me. I raise an eyebrow, looking up at her. “What—”
“Shh.” She says, interrupting me. Leaning down, her petite fingers trail down my stomach, grazing the elastic of my boxers causing a chill to race over my exposed skin. “I knew you would be a deviant little shit when you walked into my class.” She pulls at the elastic, letting it pop against my lower stomach. “Take these off.”
I smirk, doing as I’m told. Lifting up, I slip out of my jeans and boxers shamelessly. I sit before her in all my naked glory. I watch her as those doe eyes graze over every part of me. I take pride in my appearance. My body is the only thing I have real control over. I can’t let it go to shit too.
She leans forward again, but this time, she bends all the way down until she is face to face with my hard dick. My body tenses, waiting for her next move. The warmth of her mouth covers my cock as she takes all of me into her mouth. My head falls back at the unexpectedness of it.
“Shit.”
She brings her head up, swirling her tongue around the tip before she dips her head again. My hands grip the chair underneath me as I try to keep control of myself. If she keeps this up, I will wind up like those guys I make fun of in school for busting one too quickly.
“Slow down, Pretty Dancer, or this will be over before it even begins.” I whisper breathlessly. She looks up with all of me still in her mouth before she slides up, making sure to suck harder before she releases me. I get to my feet. I think it’s about time I take over. Leaning down, I give her a gentle kiss. Slipping my hands into her hair, I gently pull her up to feet before I spin us around. Her back is to me, giving me the access I need.
“If your lips taste sinful, I can only image what your pussy tastes like.” I growl in her ear. My fingers slip into the top of her leotard before I pull it down her body. Instead of standing back up, I place my hand on her lower back and gently push forward, making her bend over. “God, you smell so fucking sweet.”
A soft giggle comes from her before it turns into a moan as I drag my tongue along her folds. I can feel her legs shiver, so I do it again, but this time, I don’t stop. I lap at her juices like it’s the last thing on this planet to sustain me. Her body writhes before me, and just knowing that it’s me doing that to her has me close to losing my load.
“Oh God.” She moans. I continue to lick her swollen bud as my fingers slide in and out of her. “Deeper!”
She is soaked, dripping wet with need and I know exactly what she deserves.
Grabbing my jeans, I retrieve my wallet and get the condom out. Cliché, I know, but fuck it. I slip it on and then get to my feet.
“Stay just like that, Emily. Move, and I’ll punish you.” I warn, ignoring the fact that I called her by her name. I place myself at her entrance, but before I can enter her, she moves forward. I don’t have to see her face to know she has a sexy smirk on it. Little Deviant. “Mmm. Strike one.” Smack.
“Yes!” She means loudly. Before she has the chance to move again, I thrust forward, eliciting an even louder moan than before. Her tight pussy fits around my cock perfectly and it's hard not to get caught up in the feel-good moment. After I catch my breath, and brace myself, I slowly pull out then thrust forward again, creating a slow rhythm she seems to enjoy.
“You feel so fucking good.” I say breathlessly as I pick up the pace. She reacts to my movements, moving on her own, helping me thrust harder and deeper. “Fuck, Em.”
I let go of one of her hips and twist my fingers into her hair, pulling her up until her back is flush against my stomach.
“Say my name.” I command.
“Ry—Ryan.” She whimpers as I squeeze her breast. I pull a little harder on her hair.
“Louder.” I growl in her ear while thrusting forward, hard.
“Ryan!” She practically screams.
“That’s it, Em.” I release her hair and push her forward until she is bent down, ass on full display. I’ll have that one day, too. I shake my head, riding it of future thoughts and focus on the now. I reach around and place my hand between her legs and begin to rub her swollen clit as I continue to fuck her. She is soaked, and it makes me smile knowing I made her that way.
I can feel her tighten around my dick as I rub faster and fuck her harder.
“Come for me, Pretty Dancer.”
On cue, she comes hard, her pussy like a boa constrictor on my dick. “Oh, God, yes!”
I can feel her knees start to give way as her body comes down from riding the waves of pleasure, so I help hold her up by the waist, not giving her the time to regroup. I can feel that oh so sweet familiar build and my balls tighten. I’m so close to le
tting go. Just one more…
“Fuuuck.” I growl, digging my fingers into her flesh as I spill my seed. My vice grip loosens when I pull out. I can feel her quiver when I do so which elicits a chuckle from me.
Emily stands up and turns to face me, all doe-eyed and glowing. Leaning up, she gives me a kiss. She actually kisses me.
“I’m going to get dressed and order some pizza if you want to stay and help me clean up a bit.”
“Yeah. Maybe I can have dessert after?” I quip. Emily giggles, raising an eyebrow.
“Depends on how much work you put in, Mister Styles.”
I spin my shirt around, then flick it at her bare ass. As I watch her walk away toward the hall, a small pang hits my heart. I don’t know if it’s guilt or a fucking heart attack, but I’m honestly hoping for the latter.
What am I doing?
F I F T E E N
EMILY
I gave in to something that was far beyond my control the second his lips touched mine the first time. I knew it was wrong. I knew I shouldn’t have indulged in him, but he was a piece of candy sent to me to cure this unknown sweet tooth. Unfortunately for me, one piece wasn’t enough.
I don’t feel guilty for allowing myself to wander off the straight and narrow path I’ve always walked on. I feel like I missed out on so much in my life because I wanted everything right away, fresh out of high school. The husband with a white picket fence. The family and dreams come true.
I still want all that, but they say you can't have your cake and eat it too. I want Dan, I love Dan. But I need Ryan right now too. He is breathing life back into my lungs and it feels like I’m alive for what feels like the first time in a long time. I don't want to give that up.
For now, I’ll keep Ryan my dirty little secret until I feel like I no longer need him in my life.
“Hey, Em?” Dan calls from the living room.
Love is Strange: A Taboo Anthology Page 18