Hometown Christmas Gift

by Kat Brookes

  Tucker’s advice to Lainie that day in the barn came to mind at that moment. The truth can set you free. “They may have been there, but only your mother knows what really happened that night. I can tell you that she loved your father very much and his dying broke her heart every bit as much as it did yours.”

  “But they had a fight.”

  “We don’t know that,” he said calmly. “Mrs. Winters might have misunderstood what was going on. And even if your parents did have a disagreement of some sort, that doesn’t mean they didn’t love each other deeply. Love isn’t always a smooth road. Disagreements happen between people. But if they truly care for one another, they’ll find a way to work things out.”

  “Did you love my mom?”

  The question took Jackson off guard. “Did I?”

  “Mrs. Winters said my dad was upset that night and told my mom she had never gotten over her first love,” he stated knowingly, his sobs slowing to a few loud sniffles. “And then I heard Uncle Justin telling my mom she needed to work through whatever it was that had kept the two of you apart.” He hesitated a moment before saying, “She told him that she had loved you when she was young and foolish. That your heart was already taken by the rodeo. Does that make you her first love?” he asked, a hint of accusation in his voice. Not that Jackson blamed him. The boy, slowly putting two and two together with what facts he thought he knew, probably harbored a bit of resentment toward Jackson now as well.

  “You really need to stop listening in on conversations that don’t involve you,” Jackson chided.

  “I didn’t mean to,” Lucas said in his own defense. “I went downstairs because a tree branch was scratching at my window and they were in the front room talking. Actually, my mom was crying. I didn’t know what to do, so I stood there waiting.”

  Poor kid. Always seemed to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Jackson released him and looked away, remembering. “Your mom and I were very close growing up,” he answered honestly. “And she has always held a very special place in my heart. But the Lord sent us down different paths. Mine leading to the rodeo and the rodeo business my brothers and I have today. Your mom’s led her to college, where she met your dad and fell in love. They married, giving her the biggest blessing in life—you.”

  “Have you and my mom worked things out?”

  “Yes,” Jackson replied with a nod. “We talked things out and made things right again between us. The same as you two will.” He looked down into misty, hazel-colored eyes. “But you need to tell her what you’ve told me. Give her a chance to answer your questions, even if what she has to say may be hard to hear. I care about you both deeply. There’s nothing I want more than your happiness.” He meant that from the bottom of his heart. Just as Lainie had done, Lucas had thoroughly embedded himself in Jackson’s. He was the son Jackson had never had.

  “I don’t know if I can,” Lucas said sadly.

  “Do it for your dad then,” Jackson suggested. “He loved your mom very much. I know he wouldn’t want to see her hurting the way she is. Or you, for that matter. Talk to your mom and hear what she has to say. And then listen with your heart. It’ll know the real truth when it hears it.”

  Lucas stood contemplating what Jackson had told him, the toe of his boot digging into the dirt at his feet.

  “Lucas,” Jackson prompted.

  The boy looked up, agony in those young eyes. “I miss my dad.”

  “I know you do, son. But you’re still blessed with a mother who loves you. I pray you’ll give her a chance to tell you what really happened that night.”

  Lucas let out a heavy sigh and then nodded. “Okay, I’ll do it.”

  Jackson sent up a silent prayer of thanks to the Lord. Lainie’s son might be reluctant to talk to his mom, but he would soon learn the truth—and perhaps begin to heal.

  * * *

  Lainie stood up from the sofa at the sound of the front door opening. Her son’s words had cut deep. Her own actions had cut even deeper. She had never run out on Lucas before, no matter how bad things got. But she had done so today, from the past, from the pain, from her son. Shame filled her.

  “Lainie?” Jackson called out tentatively.

  “In here,” she called back, her stomach still in knots.

  Jackson stepped into the garland-decorated entryway. “You walked home.”

  “I needed the walk,” she told him. After putting Annie back in her stall in Jackson’s barn, she’d practically run back to her brother’s place. She’d known Jackson would see her son safely home when they were done riding.

  “Lucas,” Jackson said. A moment later, her son stepped around him.

  Lainie’s gaze zeroed in on her son’s tear-streaked face. One that no doubt matched her own. And her heart broke. “Lucas,” she said, moving to take him in her arms.

  He took a step back, making it clear he didn’t want her coddling.

  “Lucas has some things he’d like to say to you,” Jackson told her.

  Looking down into her son’s upturned face, she said, “I’m sorry I rode away like that.” If her son was going to apologize, she should as well.

  “Jackson said I should ask you for the truth,” Lucas said instead and then followed it up with, “Were you fighting with my dad the night he got killed?”

  Completely taken aback by her son’s question, Lainie’s desperate gaze shot up to meet Jackson’s, finding concern there. Not even a flicker of surprise. How could he have pushed Lucas to ask things that would only be hurtful to him? He knew how she felt about protecting her son from any more pain.

  “Was that why you and my dad left the party?” her son pressed when Lainie failed to respond to his question.

  “I...” she said, faltering for a reply. “Lucas, honey, I need to see Jackson out. Then we can talk.” And maybe by then she would have pulled herself back together enough to have this conversation she’d never wanted to have with her son.

  Jackson looked to Lucas. “Remember what I told you, and try to listen with your heart,” he told him before starting for the door. “It’ll know the truth.”

  Lainie followed, both angry and hurt at Jackson’s betrayal. The second she closed the porch door behind her, she swung around to confront Jackson. “How could you?” she demanded. “I thought you cared about my son. About me.”

  Regret filled his eyes. “I do. That’s why I thought it best—” he began.

  “Don’t,” she said, throwing up a hand to stop his explanation. There was no explanation that would make her understand his reasoning in pushing her son to demand the truth from her. “You have no right deciding what is best for my child. Opening him up to the pain my answering his questions is going to bring him is not even close to showing us you care. Maybe the Lord knew what he was doing in making him Will’s son and not yours.”

  Her heart ached as she said the hurtful words, but something in Lainie had broken. There was nothing left in her to keep her calm. To keep the pain she felt at bay. And like her son, it seemed all she could do was hurt someone she cared so deeply about. “I think it would be best if you stayed away from my son,” she said, barely able to see him through the blur of unshed tears that filled her eyes. “Away from me.”

  “Lainie, there’s something you need to know.”

  She shook her head. “I can’t do this, Jackson. Not right now. I have to see to my son.”

  He gave a slow nod. “Agreed. But know that I don’t regret my actions. Not when it might help Lucas heal emotionally.” Turning, he walked away, his limp more pronounced than normal. Probably from the ride he’d accompanied them on that afternoon. Despite the anger she felt toward Jackson at that moment, she also felt the loss of what they had worked so hard to rebuild—their friendship. And now that was gone as well.

  With a muffled sob, Lainie stepped back into the house to face even more pain as she prepared herself
to answer her son’s questions about that fateful night. Lord, help me to be strong for Lucas’s sake. Give me the grace to face what is to come, and the ability to speak the words needed to heal Lucas’s heart.

  “Are you mad at Mr. Wade?” her son asked when she returned to find him sitting anxiously on the sofa.

  “What I am,” she said as she moved to sit next to him on the sofa, “is worried about you.” Then, praying for courage, she said, “Talk to me, Lucas. Ask me whatever it is you want to know.”

  And so he did, telling her everything he had told Jackson. Telling her what Jackson had told him. Or at least as much as a troubled eight-year-old boy could remember.

  Lainie stood and walked over to stand before the lit Christmas tree, her heart wrenching as she stared up at the precious star Jackson had been so honored to place atop the tree she had chosen. He hadn’t betrayed her. Guilt filled her. She had reacted emotionally, without all the facts, just as her son had with her. Jackson had only their best interests at heart, and she had accused him wrongly, immediately shutting him out of their lives. Oh, Jackson.

  “Mom?”

  She turned slowly, then told her son what had really happened that night. The truth was far better than Lucas living the rest of his life believing the more painful words of busybodies. That gossip that had torn what was left of her family apart and caused her to hurt the man she had never stopped loving all over again.

  * * *

  “Mr. Wade?”

  The bale of hay Jackson had been about to toss froze in midair, its weight dragging his arms downward. Releasing it, he turned from where he stood in the bed of his truck to see Lucas standing next to the barn.

  “Lucas,” he said, jumping down to ground. The boy was a sight for sore eyes. He glanced around, expecting to see Lainie, whom he also hadn’t seen for days. She’d called. He hadn’t answered. She’d texted. He’d deleted his messages. It was for the best. He’d been a fool thinking there could be more between them. A future. The life he’d given away so many years ago. But her words about the Lord knowing what he was doing when he made Will Lucas’s father had cut deep.

  “Mom’s not here,” the boy said, as if reading Jackson’s mind. “Uncle Justin brought me,” he added, pointing off toward the SUV parked in the drive. “I told him I wanted to talk to you by myself.”

  “Does your mom know you’re here?” he asked. Because Lainie had specifically told him to keep away from her son.

  “No,” he answered with a frown. “She’s probably at home still.”

  That grabbed hold of Jackson’s gut and twisted hard. “You shouldn’t be here without your mom’s knowing it,” he told him. Even if he had missed spending time with Lucas, and Lainie, for that matter.

  “I had to come,” he told him. “I wanted to tell you I’m sorry.”

  “Sorry? For what?”

  “For causing my mom to be upset with you,” the boy admitted with a frown. “She was happy before I ruined everything.”

  “It’s not your fault,” Jackson told him, reaching out to tousle Lucas’s hair. “She was upset, and sometimes when people are upset they unintentionally hurt those closest to them.”

  “Like I did to her,” he acknowledged.

  Jackson nodded. “Did you talk to your mom about what Mrs. Winters said?”

  “Yeah, and you were right. Mrs. Winters was wrong,” he told Jackson. “I know it now. My heart told me so.”

  Jackson’s own heart lightened at the news. “So you and your mom are good?”

  “I told her I won’t ever be mean to her again and she forgave me.”

  “Of course she would,” Jackson told him. “Your mother loves you.”

  “You, too,” he said. Then reaching into the back pocket of his jeans, he withdrew his fisted hand. “I wanted to give this to you.”

  Holding out his upturned hand, Jackson watched as Lucas opened his and turned it as if placing something precious into the awaiting palm. But when he pulled away, there was nothing there. Jackson looked to him questioningly.

  “It’s my birthday wish,” Lainie’s son explained. “The one I stuck in my pocket to use later. That’s why I asked Uncle Justin to bring me here. To give it to you. I thought maybe you could use it to make things right with my mom again. She misses you. I miss you.”

  Curling his hand as if to protect the gift he’d just been given, Jackson felt the burn of tears at the backs of his eyes. “I miss you, too.” And how he longed to have them back in his life again. Holding up his clenched hand, he said, “I won’t let this go to waste.” Then he made as if to store it in the pocket of his jacket for safekeeping.

  Surprising him once more, Lucas stepped forward, wrapping his arms around Lucas’s waist. “I love you, Mr. Wade.” Then he broke away and ran off.

  Jackson watched him go, his heart filled with emotion. Lucas climbed into the car with his uncle and then with a wave from his best friend, they pulled away. “I love you, too, Lucas,” he said, emotion filling his voice. Just as he loved Lainie. With all his heart.

  * * *

  “And here I thought I had the art of avoidance down to a T.”

  For the second time that day, an unexpected visitor took Jackson by surprise. Only this time, he was beyond shocked. Lowering the fly rod he’d been about to cast out, he set it down along the edge of the slow-flowing river and turned to face her. He’d gone there to mull over everything Lucas had told him and decide on a plan of action. But the woman in his thoughts had just stepped out of them and in front of him, causing his heart to slam against his chest.

  Lainie stood about twenty feet away, at the edge of the woods. Her face looked pale, strained. Yet she was still the most beautiful woman he’d ever known. As if in agreement, his heartbeat kicked into overdrive.

  “I saw your truck parked by the road. Your mother told me you had gone into town,” she said, anxiety lacing her voice.

  “I intended to,” he replied. “Changed my mind. Figured I’d come out here to fish instead.”

  “In the cold?” she said as she started toward him down the gently sloping bank.

  Cold seemed to be a good means to numb the pain of missing Lainie but being unsure how to put things back to the way they’d been. He’d prayed about it long and hard. He’d talked to his brothers in the days since his and Lainie’s fallout. Even Justin had done his best to convince Jackson to call his sister and work things out. He’d even gone so far as to make use of Lucas’s gift—the birthday wish he’d given him—and then chided himself for wasting his time on something so silly. But after Lucas’s visit, Jackson knew there was something worth fighting for.

  “Fish still bite when it’s cold,” he told her. He glanced around. “Where’s Lucas?”

  “He’s spending the day with Justin,” she replied. “I think they were going to visit Jessica.”

  “So you walked over in this cold?” he noted.

  “Actually, I drove.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “I had my brother drive me into town yesterday to pick up my new truck. Figured I would need it to hunt you down, since you’ve been avoiding my calls.”

  “You drove here by yourself?” he said, amazed at what she’d pushed herself to do on account of him.

  “I would have driven to the ends of the earth if it meant finding you, so I could do what I’ve been trying to do for days.” Her expression grew serious. “Jackson, I’m so sorry for the way I reacted when you brought Lucas home to talk to me. I never should have said the things I did to you.”

  “You thought I’d broken your trust,” he acknowledged, seeing the pain of regret in her eyes.

  “If I had been thinking clearly,” she began and then shook her head. “No, that’s no excuse. I was wrong, and I can’t bear knowing that I hurt you. Truth is I regretted my actions the moment the words left my mouth.” She looked up at
him. “Please tell me I haven’t lost you for good.”

  He found himself reaching out to caress her cheek. “Never.”

  “Jackson,” she said in a low voice.

  He smiled down at her. “You are far too important to me to let a moment decide my forever. And I hope you know that I would never have gone against your wishes, but when Lucas told me what that woman had said, his behavior toward you finally made sense. You were the only person who could respond to the gossip and the ridiculous claim that you and Will had been fighting that night over me.”

  Lainie glanced away, falling silent.

  “Lainie?”

  “It’s true,” she said with a soft sob. “Will wasn’t a drinker, but during that night several of his coworkers brought him over to toast his success with them. The excess of liquor became too much for my husband to handle. I pulled him aside at the party and told him we needed to leave before he said, or did, something he might regret. His response was, ‘The way you regret not marrying your first love.’” She looked away. “His words hurt, because I had been honest with him about my feelings for you and he’d said that he understood. I’d made it clear to him right from the beginning that I had married him because I loved him and wanted the life we had together. But he wasn’t in the right mental frame of mind that night to have that discussion, so I insisted we leave.” She closed her eyes, tears rolling down her cheeks.

  Jackson drew her into his arms, smoothing a comforting hand up and down her back. “Will wasn’t himself,” he said tenderly. “He didn’t mean the things he said.”

  “I think he did,” she said sadly. “He knew I couldn’t give my whole heart to him. Not when a part of it belonged to you, would always belong to you. I was so upset with him that night, and filled with guilt, as I drove him home, I couldn’t even bear to look at my husband, which is why I never saw the other car running through the red light.”

  “Oh, Lainie Girl,” he groaned, wrapping his arms tighter around her. He wanted more than anything to make the hurt go away. But that was something she needed to work through herself. All he could do was be there for her.