By the Creek

  “You’re really distracted today,” Carol whispered to him as he passed her. David nodded and kept moving. He needed to keep busy and get his mind off what had preoccupied him for the past two weeks. So Benjamin hadn’t been able to understand. The loss of his friend hurt, but David was beginning to understand that he’d developed more than just feelings of friendship for Benjamin. He needed to get over those feelings and move on. “If you get any more dropsy, your head will fall off,” Carol whispered with a slight giggle as she picked up the order pad David had just dropped.

  “Thanks,” he said as he took the pad and placed it in the pocket of his waiter vest. He followed her to the serving station to get drink refills.

  “Jeremy just asked me out,” Carol told him, and David nodded. “You knew?”

  “He said he liked you and asked if it would be okay. I told him we were friends and that he better be nice to you or I’ll come after him.” David winked at her and saw Carol look away. “I think he really likes you.” Carol suddenly looked hurt, and David realized she’d probably said yes to Jeremy to make him jealous.

  “You think so?” she asked softly.

  David nodded vigorously. “I think the two of you will make a great couple. He’s funny and smart, he likes you, and he’ll be good to you.”

  “You sound like one of my brothers,” Carol said, and David nodded, knowing it was true.

  “I don’t have a sister, so I’ll take that as a compliment. You’re like the sister I never had, and that makes you pretty special to me,” David told her as he lifted the tray of drink glasses. He moved away, carrying the tray through the busy restaurant, breathing a small sigh of relief.

  David ran his legs off for the rest of the evening. He got a fifteen-minute break to wolf down some food around eight thirty, and then he was back serving customers. Thankfully, neither he nor Carol worked until closing, and he gave her a ride home.

  “Jeremy wants to take me on a picnic Tuesday night,” Carol told him excitedly. “No one’s taken me on a picnic in a long time.” Carol practically bounced as David drove then home.

  “I told you he liked you. Guys don’t do stuff like that unless they really like you.” David smiled, happy for Carol. She continued talking almost nonstop as he drove the rest of the way. By the time he dropped her off, David would have thought she’d have been hoarse, but she kept talking to him, or at him, until he backed down the drive.

  At home a few minutes later, David got out of the car and shuffled tiredly into the house. He could barely move. His legs ached, and all he wanted to do was take a shower and climb into bed.

  “How was work?” his mother called from the living room.

  “Fine,” he answered, setting his keys on the counter before joining her. David leaned against the doorway to see what his mother was watching. She looked away from the program at the commercial.

  “There was a note for you inside the front screen door.” His mother handed him a plain sheet of paper. “I didn’t read it.”

  “Thanks,” David said and saw his name printed in bold, capital letters on the outside of the folded paper. “I’m going to clean up and go to bed. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  “Do you work tomorrow?” his mother asked without looking away from her program.

  “No. I’m off.” Thank God. He’d been working a lot of hours because they’d been incredibly busy. But he needed some time to rest. Leaving his mother to relax, he went to his room and closed the door before opening the note.

  David,

  Please come to the creek tomorrow afternoon. I am sorry I have stayed away, but I need to ask you questions. Please come in the afternoon.

  Benjamin

  David looked at the back of the paper, like he thought there should be more. Then he set the note on his dresser and began stripping off his clothes, which smelled like fried everything. He walked across the hall to the bathroom, grabbed a towel, and started the shower. He wondered what Benjamin wanted. He’d made his feelings very clear when he’d left David alone and not come around anymore, even though David had gone to the creek whenever he could. He put it out of his mind as he quickly got cleaned up.

  After stepping out of the shower, David toweled off and went to his room. Without thinking, he picked up the note from Benjamin and read it again. He refused to allow himself to hope Benjamin’s feelings might have changed. He was tempted to stay away, but even as the thought sprang in his mind he knew he wouldn’t. Not only was he curious about what Benjamin wanted, he felt a small twinge of hope spring to life. He did his best to tamp it down again. He was not going to allow himself to get hurt again. But it didn’t work. David set the towel aside, pulled on a pair of light shorts, and climbed into bed. He needed to get some sleep, but for most of the night, he ruminated about what Benjamin’s note meant. He finally fell into a deep sleep sometime long after he heard his mother go to bed.

  DAVID slept in the following morning. His mother had already gone to work, and with the house quiet, David slept much later than normal. Sometime in the night, his mind had quieted and he’d managed to truly rest. By the time he crawled out of bed and made it to the kitchen, the clock on the stove read nearly noon. Groaning softly, David pulled open the refrigerator door and stood in front of it, half looking at the contents as he tried to figure out what he wanted to eat while at the same time trying to wake up. Absentmindedly, he scratched his butt through his shorts before pulling out a container of juice and some salami. Deciding on a sandwich, he got out the rest of the fixings. As his stomach rumbled loudly, he assembled his snack and then ate it standing by the counter before making another that he placed on a plate. After putting everything away, he carried the plate with him to his bedroom.

  He alternated dressing and eating before going to the bathroom to brush his teeth and take care of business. By the time he was carrying the plate in one hand and Benjamin’s note in the other on his way to the kitchen, David was awake, full, and trying to figure out what he wanted to do. Knowing he might as well get this over with, David shoved the note in his pocket and left the house, walking across the field.

  Grasshoppers and other insects leaped into the air around him, but David only paid attention to them when they landed on him. When he reached the shade of the trees, David followed the very familiar path to the clearing. Benjamin wasn’t there, and David knew he might not be able to come for a while, but he needed to think, and this place allowed him to do that.

  Except today, he couldn’t. Every sound had him looking around for Benjamin. His body and senses thrummed. If his friend, maybe former friend—he’d probably know soon—was going to formally reject him, then he wanted to know quickly, like ripping a Band-Aid off his skin. It might hurt, but at least it would be over. After a while, David began to pace and had started thinking about going home when he heard someone approaching. Waiting, he saw Benjamin and his stomach did little flips. He wasn’t sure if it was nerves or excitement, but he waited and steadied himself for whatever was to come.

  “You got my note,” Benjamin said, and David nodded, searching his friend’s face for some sort of indication of what was to come, but he got nothing.

  “I was surprised. I didn’t think you wanted anything to do with me after you left,” David said as Benjamin approached.

  “I had to think,” Benjamin explained as he slowed his steps, and David realized he wasn’t coming too close. That was definitely telling. “What you told me shocked me, and I didn’t know how I should react.” Benjamin took a step forward and swallowed hard, pale throat muscles working.

  “How about honestly? Tell me what you feel. If you want to yell and call me names, do it. But I missed you and our friendship. If you can’t be my friend anymore, then say so, but be honest and at least talk to me, instead of just turning your back without saying anything.” The more David spoke, the more forceful he became.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t know how to react or how I felt,” Benjamin said, and David took a deep breath
. Yelling at Benjamin wasn’t going to do any good, and it wouldn’t change his mind about anything he’d decided. “I had to think, and what you said scared me.”

  “Why?” David asked. “I can understand a lot of things, but I’m the same person you asked for help this past winter, and the same person you went swimming with all last summer. Nothing has changed, not really.” Even as David said that, he knew everything had changed between him and Benjamin and he couldn’t go back to the way things were. He needed to accept that he’d probably lost his friend forever.

  “Yes, it has, but not for the reasons you think. What scared me was that I have the same feelings you do. Or at least I think I might have those feelings, and I’m not supposed to. They’re wrong, and I’ve prayed to make them go away. But they won’t, no matter what I do.” Benjamin sounded like he was on the verge of tears. “I can’t tell anyone in the community, because they’ll kick me out of the community and probably shun my entire family. Even my own relatives will say Mama and Papa did something wrong and blame them.” Benjamin lowered his gaze to the ground and his shoulders began to shake.

  Before David could think, he was in front of Benjamin, pulling him into a hug that only tightened with time. “I don’t know what to tell you, except I don’t think what you feel—what we feel—is wrong, just different.”

  “But Papa and Mama… the church… everyone….” Benjamin’s words came in gasps between open sobs he couldn’t seem to control.

  “Shhh….” David stroked Benjamin’s soft hair, closing his eyes as his own fears came roaring to the surface. “It’ll be all right. I’m here for you and I’m not letting you go. We have to help each other.” On the one hand, David could barely contain his excitement, but on the other, he hated to see his friend this torn up.

  “Before you said something, I thought I was the only person in the world to feel like this.” Benjamin wiped his eyes with his hand, and David continued holding him. Suddenly his own fears and doubts didn’t seem so bad. It wasn’t like his mother was going to kick him out of the house; he was pretty sure about that. Sure, his life at school would probably be hell if people found out, but… he wouldn’t lose everything. At least he didn’t think he would.

  “You aren’t the only one. I know that. There have been lots of television shows with gay people. There are lots of them. So I can say you aren’t alone.” David took a deep breath and then released it slowly as Benjamin rested his head on David’s shoulder. This was what he’d wanted for so long, but not like this. Not with the whole rug of Benjamin’s world ripped out from beneath him. David lightly caressed Benjamin’s back. “It’ll be okay,” he soothed.

  “How?” Benjamin said, lifting his head.

  “I don’t know, but neither of us is alone, and that has to count for something,” David answered, and Benjamin slowly nodded. “I don’t have many more answers about this than you, but we’ll try to help each other and figure out things together.” David didn’t know what else to say to try to comfort Benjamin.

  “There’s more,” Benjamin said, and David tensed.

  “What happened? Did you already tell someone other than me?” David asked.

  Benjamin shook his head rapidly. “No, but I think I like you,” Benjamin said, and David grinned from ear to ear as the last of his butterflies settled to nothing. Lightly taking Benjamin’s cheeks in his hands, like he’d seen done in the movies and on television, he brought his lips to Benjamin’s.

  The kiss was gentle, sweet, and oh so tentative, with David barely touching Benjamin’s lips, but even that was enough to send a small jolt of excitement through him, unlike anything he’d ever felt before. Slowly pulling his lips away, he gazed at Benjamin’s face to see if he’d felt what David had. Judging by the startled expression and slight smile, he had. David tilted his head slightly and kissed Benjamin again, harder this time, and he felt Benjamin respond, kissing him back.

  The kiss ended and David blinked a few times. “Does that feel like it’s wrong?” David asked, and Benjamin shook his head slowly. “It didn’t to me either.”

  “Benjamin!” A high-pitched voice called through the trees. Benjamin jumped back slightly, and David did the same.

  “It’s okay. Just relax,” David said, and Benjamin nodded.

  “What is it, Jeremiah?” Benjamin called.

  “Are you going swimming?” Benjamin’s brother called and then stepped out of the woods on the other side of the swimming hole.

  “No. The water is still too cold. Maybe in a few weeks,” Benjamin told him. “You remember David.” Jeremiah nodded without saying anything. “He’s never quiet at home,” Benjamin said to David. “I should get home and finish my chores.”

  “Okay,” David said. “But you know where to find me if you want to talk. You’re welcome anytime,” he added for Benjamin’s ears only.

  “Thanks,” Benjamin said with a touch of a smile, and David wanted to pull him into another hug and hold him until the doubt and fear left his eyes, but that wasn’t possible, so David waited until Benjamin and his brother were gone before hurrying down the path and then crossing the field. When he reached the house, it seemed like his feet had barely touched the ground the entire time.

  Chapter 9

  DAVID had just finished his shift at the Dairy Barn and was anxious to get home. It was hot as Hades outside, but he had most of the late afternoon left. He’d told Benjamin a few days earlier when he’d be home, and they were planning to go swimming. They’d seen each other a few times, but Benjamin’s chores kept him busy, so he didn’t have much time. David took off his uniform and headed to his car. Carol was working a different shift, and over the past few weeks, she and Jeremy had gotten quite close. He often brought her to work and took her home, so David wasn’t seeing as much of her. But she seemed happy, and David thought she might be falling in love, which was perfect for him, because he was pretty sure he was falling in love with Benjamin.

  “What’s got you in such a hurry?” Carol asked as she got out of Jeremy’s car with a huge smile on her face. “You have a hot date?”

  David chuckled slightly. “No. But I’m meeting a friend to go swimming in the creek near the house. The water’s warm enough, and it’s so hot out here. Have a good shift and call me later,” David said with a wave before opening the car door to let the heat roll out of the interior. He waited a few minutes, rolling down all the windows, and finally got into the sweltering car. The drive home felt like riding in a swamp. At home, he opened the garage door and pulled the car inside so it wouldn’t heat up again. Then he rushed inside the house and quickly changed into his bathing suit and grabbed the things he’d need before hurrying across the field.

  The shade of the trees did little to abate the heat, and David had sweated through his shirt by the time he reached the swimming hole. Benjamin was already there and up to his neck in the water. David took off his shoes and shirt before stepping to the edge of the water and jumping in.

  The water was a bit cold, but he didn’t care. It beat the heat, and he closed his eyes and let the water wash away the heat, sweat, and tension. “Have you been here long?” he asked, turning to Benjamin with a smile.

  “No,” Benjamin said and looked around the clearing before he moved closer and then into David’s arms. Their kiss quickly deepened, until David could barely think. His body reacted instantly, and he felt Benjamin’s reaction pressing to his hip. They hadn’t done anything more than kiss and touch a little up till now, but David was quickly losing control of his own will, and without shame, he slid his fabric-covered erection along Benjamin’s.

  Benjamin moaned softly and then stilled. “It’s okay to feel good and be happy,” David said, repeating the motion. He could see the doubt in Benjamin’s eyes. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” he added, while hoping against all hope that Benjamin would want what he wanted.

  Benjamin wrapped his arms around him, and David held Benjamin tight as they slowly moved together in the
water. David languidly stroked Benjamin’s back, venturing lower with each up and down motion until he slipped his hand under Benjamin’s shorts and over the round curve of his butt. When he pressed them together, Benjamin moaned louder and with more urgency. David kissed Benjamin, and he felt Benjamin start to shake and gasp softly. David felt his own passion building and he moved his hips with Benjamin. David’s breathing became shallow, and he held Benjamin tight, stroking his smooth skin. Clamping his eyes closed, David felt the waves of release begin to wash over him. His head felt light, and then Benjamin slowly rubbed his hand up and down his back as David spilled into his bathing suit.

  David stilled and simply held Benjamin as they both came down from the floaty feeling that seemed to last a wonderfully long time. He kissed Benjamin and held him close, never wanting to let him go.

  “Was that right?” Benjamin asked, and David grinned.

  “It was perfect,” he answered, and Benjamin smiled. They stayed where they were for a long time, holding one another and letting the water cool their fevered skin. Then, slowly, almost reluctantly, they moved away from each other. David watched Benjamin’s every move, wondering how this would change things. The last time he’d sprung something on Benjamin, David hadn’t seen him for weeks. He hoped this would be different, but he wasn’t sure. “Are you okay with what we did?”

  Benjamin turned around, grinning like a cat. “Yes.” A wall of water came at him and David didn’t have time to dodge.

  “So that’s how it is,” David yelled as he pounced, catching Benjamin around the waist, but he squirmed away, and the roughhousing and splashing began, just like the previous summer. Only this time, it ended with the two of them holding one another, David kissing Benjamin, his Benjamin, deeply.

  When they began to chill, David climbed out of the water and spread the blanket he always brought on the ground. The thick air surrounded him as he lay on his back, watching as beads of water ran down Benjamin’s pale chest and stomach.