By the Creek

  “We don’t have much time,” Benjamin said, and David turned toward the path to see if anyone was coming. He heard no one, so he turned back to Benjamin and lightly trailed his fingers over Benjamin’s work-strengthened chest, circling his nipples until he felt Benjamin shiver and then laugh softly. “It tickles,” he whispered, and David shifted, bringing his lips to one of Benjamin’s nipples, sucking it lightly.

  That got him a gasp of surprise that turned to a small moan. David sucked a little harder, and Benjamin moaned again. When he stopped and rested back on the blanket, he saw Benjamin hesitate at first and then reach out to rest his hand on David’s belly. David closed his eyes and waited, afraid to move in case he scared Benjamin off.

  “You’re warm,” Benjamin said as he traced the thin line of hair that extended from David’s belly button into his bathing suit.

  “You’re amazingly beautiful,” David said, opening his eyes so he could stare at Benjamin. Sliding a hand around Benjamin’s neck, he brought Benjamin’s face to his and kissed him hard, using his tongue to explore Benjamin’s lips and mouth.

  Soft, chattery sounds reached his ears, and David backed away. Benjamin stood up and reached for his towel, putting distance between them. The sounds got louder, and David knew it was the chatter of Benjamin’s brothers.

  “Papa said he was here.”

  David recognized Jeremiah’s voice. David saw them emerge from the path on the far side of the pool, smaller versions of Benjamin with almost the same eyes. “Mama said you would watch us swim,” Adam, Benjamin’s youngest brother, said. He was about seven and never seemed to go anywhere without Jeremiah.

  “Very well. You two be careful and play nice,” Benjamin said, going into what David had come to recognize as big-brother mode. David sighed, silently wishing he’d had more time alone with Benjamin. He’d come to realize that the times they had together were stolen, secret moments, and that was most likely all they would ever have.

  “Watch me, Benjamin,” Adam cried as he slowly climbed to the edge of the pool before jumping in and paddling around in the shallows. David watched them for a while, and they seemed to watch him back. Eventually, Benjamin got back into the water and played with his brothers while David began to pack up. It was time for him to go home. He was an outsider now, and while Benjamin’s brothers no longer asked if he was going to eat them, they remained wary, and David knew they would have more fun if he wasn’t around.

  David pulled on his shoes and shirt before folding up the blanket. “Have fun,” he called, and the two boys waved while Benjamin flashed him a quick, but longing, smile. Like David, he too seemed to wish they had more time together. David headed down the path, taking a few quick steps until he was hidden from view. Then he stopped and listened to the yells and shouts of happiness. He could easily discern Benjamin’s voice from the others. He wanted to rush back, jump into the water, and hold Benjamin in his arms forever. But that wasn’t an option. Their feelings for one another had to remain a secret, and no matter how much it hurt every time David had to leave, it was the price he had to pay.

  Turning toward home, he slowly walked down the path. The air was too thick and humid to move any faster. When he reached the edge of the trees, David looked to the west and saw clouds forming on the horizon. He stood at the edge of the trees and watched them quickly grow taller and darker. The sun still blazed overhead, but that probably wouldn’t last long. David started for home and had gotten about halfway across the field when the first edges of the clouds covered the sun. The past year in school he’d taken a class on the Great Lakes and their history. One of the things they’d covered was some of the great storms, and in each of those cases, huge summer storms had almost always happened during extremely hot weather.

  Suddenly worried, he turned around and raced back across the field to the path entrance. He ducked under the trees and ran down to the clearing. As he got close, he heard shouts and laughter still coming from the pool. “There’s a storm coming,” David called as he burst into the clearing. All activity in the pool ceased, and David saw half a dozen heads turn toward him. “Benjamin, you need to get these kids home.” As if to punctuate his words, thunder cracked in the distance. “It’s coming up fast.”

  The light that had been shining through the leaves overhead dimmed and the area darkened quickly. A breeze kicked up, rustling the leaves overhead, and then continued to grow into wind that shook the branches. Benjamin got out and began helping the kids get dressed. Thunder sounded again, closer and louder. Some of the kids began to whimper, and Benjamin calmed them as he helped them into their clothes. David dropped what he’d been carrying and hurried down the path and over the log bridge, coming around to the other side of the pool.

  Benjamin had most of the younger kids ready. Lightning flashed and thunder boomed, much closer this time. Whatever was coming was moving fast, driven by the wind, which continued to build. “This must be a squall coming through,” David said. “We need to get everyone to shelter.”

  “Go on home,” Benjamin told the kids, and the older ones hurried down the path after grabbing what they could carry. Benjamin lifted Adam into his arms, David picked up a kid whose name he didn’t know, and they hurried down the path after the others. David heard a crack as a large branch broke off from one of the trees and crashed to the ground behind them. It was unnerving, and David had to force his feet to continue. They reached the edge of the path closest to the road, and David looked up.

  Clouds roiled and hurried across the sky. David thought he might have seen some twisting, but he wasn’t sure. All he knew was this was going to be one hell of a storm. Looking ahead, he saw the other kids racing across fields with adults rushing toward them. Benjamin and David crossed the street, and David saw Benjamin’s father and a man he didn’t know running toward them. The man lifted the boy, who was now nearly in tears, out of his arms, and Benjamin’s father took Adam from Benjamin as they ran toward the house. David didn’t quite know what to do. He wasn’t sure if he’d be welcome there, so he turned toward home, but stopped when he felt a tug on his hand as large drops of rain hit his skin. “This way,” Benjamin said, leading David through the cluster of buildings and into the house.

  The door closed behind them just as the storm seemed to slam into the house. It sounded almost like gunfire as the rain pelted the building. “Look, it’s snowing,” one of the little girls said as she peered out the window.

  “That’s hail,” Mr. Killinger said and pulled his daughter back and into his arms. The window shattered a few seconds later. David watched through the broken glass as the white chunks continued coming down and then tapered off and turned to just rain. “Is everyone here?” Benjamin’s mother asked, and David could see her counting children as the younger ones clung to her. “Yes.”

  “It came up so fast,” David said, and Benjamin’s parents nodded. Mr. Killinger opened the door and stood in the doorway as the rain came down in sheets. When he turned around, David saw a very worried look on his face, but he didn’t understand the source. Everyone was here and they were all fine.

  “The Lord is unhappy about something,” Benjamin’s father muttered as they continued watching the rain pelt the earth. Rain that hard never seemed to last very long, and that was true of this storm too. It passed through just as fast as it had come up.

  “I should be heading home,” David said to Benjamin as the rain tapered off. “I’d better see what damage there is.” He knew his mother would be frantic, and he’d left his phone on the kitchen table.

  “Thank you for helping get the children back safely,” Mr. Killinger said, and David nodded as he left the house. The door closed behind him, and David wondered if he’d stepped into a different world. Leaves and small branches littered the ground. Large branches had come down, as well, near the wooded areas. What amazed David the most was the amount of hail still on the ground and the way everything seemed to have been flattened. He wasn’t sure if the hail or the heavy rain had don
e the damage. David carefully walked toward home. Crossing the street, he could see the house and it looked okay. From there, he didn’t see any broken windows.

  David walked all the way around the house, and thankfully, no windows had been broken, although he did find the satellite television dish in the backyard. It had been ripped out of its mounting. The siding on the west side of the house had been pelted and scoured a bit by the hail.

  Inside the house, everything was eerily quiet. He flipped the kitchen light switch, but nothing happened. The power was out. As he picked up his phone off the table, he saw that his mother had called, so he dialed her number. “Are you all right? Is there any damage?”

  “The satellite dish was in the backyard and the siding took a hit, but there weren’t any broken windows,” David told her. “Are you okay?” he asked. She’d sounded frantic.

  “Yes. Where were you?”

  “Swimming with Benjamin. I was partway home when the storm came up, so I ran back and helped him get the other kids home before the storm hit.” David heard more thunder in the distance. “It sounds like more storms are headed this way,” he told his mother before disconnecting the call. For some reason, Mr. Killinger’s words echoed in the low, rumbling sound, and David couldn’t help thinking maybe God was angry with him.

  Chapter 10

  “DAVID, I think you and I need to talk,” his mother called from the living room on a gorgeous Saturday afternoon a few months later. Summer was waning, and David didn’t have to work that day. He’d worked all the hours he could during the week, and he was looking forward to a quiet day that included meeting Benjamin for a “swim.” Their physical relationship, along with the emotional connection David felt with Benjamin, had continued to grow. They’d progressed slowly, but each discovery felt like unearthing a nugget of gold to David. A few weeks earlier, he’d discovered that if he licked a certain place at the base of Benjamin’s neck, he’d shiver ever so slightly and his breath would hitch. He also discovered that lightly licking Benjamin’s ears would make him go weak in the knees. He’d found out other things too, but David pushed them from his mind as he walked from his room, making sure he wasn’t showing anything he shouldn’t. Thinking of Benjamin made him pop wood at the most inopportune moments.

  “What do you need?” he asked, stopping short at his mother’s seriously concerned expression.

  She patted the chair next to hers, and David slowly sat down, preparing himself for bad news. “I think you and I have something we need to talk about.” She settled back in the chair.

  “We aren’t moving again, are we?” The last time she’d said something like that, his mother had told him about her new job.

  “No. But I think this conversation may be more important.” His mother took a deep breath and sighed. “You know I love you and that I’ll always love you, no matter what.”

  “Yes,” he said warily as his stomach clenched. “I know that, Mom.”

  “So is there something you want to tell me?” his mother asked. “We’ve never had secrets, and I can’t help you if you aren’t honest with me. I can’t support you and help you find what you’re searching for if you don’t talk to me.” She sounded hurt, and David wondered if she knew about him. “I love you, Davey, and I’ll do anything I can to help you, but you have to talk to me.”

  “What is it you think I’ve done?” David searched through his mind, trying to think of anything he could have done wrong. Nothing came to mind.

  “You haven’t done anything, sweetheart. I just want you to know that you can talk to me about anything, including any feelings you might be having that you don’t understand,” his mother said, and David’s stomach fluttered.

  “How did you know?”

  His mother nodded slowly. “Everyone has those feelings of uncertainty and loneliness when they’re your age. It’s part of growing up. You notice girls and they notice you, but sometimes you aren’t sure what to do or how to act.”

  David shook his head. “Mom, I don’t have those feelings for girls.”

  “You will, dear,” she said.

  “No, Mom, I won’t. I don’t have those feelings for girls and I’ll never have those feelings for girls. You said you’d love me no matter what, but will you love me if I’m gay?” David challenged, standing up and hearing his mother’s sharp intake of air. But she didn’t yell or anything, which was good. She sat, staring back at him, obviously shocked, and David waited for the explosion he expected at any minute. “You didn’t know that already?”

  His mother shook her head, and after a while seemed to compose herself. “No. I thought you were shy around girls because you hadn’t dated, and I was going to try to help, but… I guess it makes sense.” She then jumped up and pulled him into a hug that squeezed the stuffing out of him. “It doesn’t matter to me. You’ll always be my baby boy.” He thought she might have been crying.

  “Mom, I can’t breathe,” David said as relief washed over him. He hadn’t really thought she’d reject him, but to have that suspicion confirmed in such a demonstrative way was comforting, even if she’d nearly suffocated him. She released him, but David held her, resting his head on her shoulder. “I love you, Mom.”

  “Did you think I’d hate you?” she whispered, and David shook his head.

  “I don’t know, Mom. All I know is that I’m different from everyone else and I don’t want to be. I tried to make it stop, but it wouldn’t.” David felt a lump forming in his throat.

  “Sweetheart, being gay is part of who you are. I know that. I didn’t know you were gay, but it doesn’t matter to me. You’re my son and I love you, no matter what.” She hugged him again.

  “How can you accept this so easily?” David asked. “I’ve been trying to figure out what was wrong with me for a long time, and when I tell you I’m gay, you accept it, just like that.” David was totally confused. “Am I some sort of flamer?”

  His mother actually laughed. “No, sweetheart. I guess your news didn’t come as a complete surprise to me. I think I may have known, deep down. But that doesn’t mean that your being gay doesn’t worry me.” She released him and slowly sat back down in the chair. “What will happen if the kids at school find out?”

  David had been wondering the same thing. “I don’t know. Carol and Lynn will probably still be my friends, but….”

  “Look, telling people you’re gay is your decision, not mine. This isn’t about me, but who you are. If you want to keep this to yourself until you graduate, that’s fine. If you want to come out at school, that’s okay too,” his mother said, and David sank into the chair, finding all of this a bit overwhelming.

  “Whoa, Mom.” David put up his hands. “I don’t know what I want to do. You knowing is sort of creeping me out, and before you ask, I don’t want to talk about my sex life with you. I’m glad you love me and accept me, but there are limits.” David actually shuddered.

  “You have a sex life? At your age?” his mother asked with a touch of fear.

  “Mom, ewww,” David whined. “Let’s leave it that I promise I’ll talk to you if I have questions, but yuck. I don’t want to talk to you about his. That’s gross.” David could not believe how this conversation was going. He’d run over in his mind a number of times how a conversation with his mother might go, but he’d never imagined this, not once.

  “This isn’t easy for me either, David, and if I’m honest with you, I’m a little disappointed that you aren’t going to get married and have children. But I’m not angry, just sad that you’re going to miss out on those things.” David nodded. He hadn’t thought that far ahead. He was about to tell his mother she wasn’t necessarily correct, if what he’d seen on television was true, but she stopped him. “But I’m proud that you had the courage and integrity to tell me the truth.”

  “Thanks, Mom,” David said before standing up and hugging her once again. “I love you, Mom,” David told her softly, and he felt her squeeze him tight as she told him she loved him too. Then he le
t go and went back to his bedroom. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he spent a long time trying to get his mind around the fact that his mother knew he was gay and didn’t mind. David had no illusions that the rest of the world would be so understanding. But it felt better knowing he had one person he could always count on in his corner.

  THAT afternoon, David met Benjamin at the swimming hole. Benjamin was waiting for him when he arrived, and David quickly stripped to his bathing suit and jumped in. The water was the warmest it had been all year, yet it was still a bit chilly. Benjamin almost immediately moved closer and they started kissing. Whenever they were apart, David missed Benjamin terribly and thought about him all the time. And when he was in his arms, like right now, everything seemed right with the world. They didn’t talk or ask questions—their lips were far too engaged in more amorous pursuits for anything as mundane as speech.

  David slid his hands beneath the waistband of Benjamin’s bathing suit. David had given it to him earlier in the year after Benjamin had asked about his. He loved the feel of Benjamin’s skin as he slowly slipped the fabric down Benjamin’s legs. He brought their hips together, and they moved slowly against one another, hardness sliding against smooth skin. David could barely contain his excitement, but he knew Benjamin was still reticent, which was fine. Benjamin’s innocence and wide-eyed wonder whenever he discovered something new were well worth going slowly. As long as David had Benjamin to hold, touch, and spend time with, speed and what they did together didn’t matter. All that did was being with his Benjamin.

  “Davey,” Benjamin gasped softly into his ear. “You make me want naughty things.” Their nicknames had come about spontaneously in the last few weeks, and they only used them when they were alone like this.