Embrace the Fire

by Felice Stevens

  The conversation piqued Brandon’s curiosity. “Do you guys plan on getting married?”

  Ash met his eyes in the rearview mirror and smiled. “No one’s asked me yet.”

  Drew remained silent, a serene look on his face, and Brandon dropped the subject. They pulled up in front of Tash’s carriage house, and Brandon hopped out of the car and collected his bags from the trunk.

  “Thanks for the ride, guys. See you tomorrow at Esther’s.”

  They drove off, and Brandon steeled himself with a deep breath.

  Here goes everything or nothing.

  Tash opened the door before Brandon needed to set the bags down on the stoop to knock. His expression remained the same as when Brandon had left the Center earlier—guarded and withdrawn.

  “Come on in.” He held the door open, and Brandon entered the carriage house. The two cats appeared immediately to twine themselves around his ankles.

  After setting the bags down, he knelt to pet them. From his crouched position, he gazed upward at Tash. “I’ll start dinner in a little while, but I figured you’d like to talk first, right?”

  At Tash’s nod, Brandon stood and brushed off his pants. “Let’s sit down, okay?” His heart pounded as he walked into the living room. When he sat on the sofa, Cleo jumped in his lap, circled twice, and lay down, purring like a lawn mower. To control the trembling of his fingers, he kept them on the cat’s body, stroking her neck and giving little scratches to her chin.

  “You know I never meant to drag you into my life. In fact, I ran away from you, if you recall. You pushed me to face my fear and made me open myself up to so much more than I ever thought possible.”

  Tash said nothing, the light glinting off his eyeglasses.

  “But unlike every other person I’ve met before, I couldn’t stop thinking about you and wondering what it would be like to be with you. Now…” Brandon’s nerves choked him. “The truth is I haven’t been honest or fair with you. You need to know everything to decide whether or not you still want to be with me.”

  “Don’t worry about my reaction. Whatever it is, it’s eating you up alive. The worst part is the anticipation of what you think my reaction will be.”

  Not the worst part by far. Incarceration would be the worst; to be separated from his family and Tash now that he’d found them was inconceivable. But then again, so was looking over his shoulder for the rest of his life, loving Tash and attempting to create a life with him only to worry every second of the day whether it would all be torn away in an instant.

  “I’d only graduated high school the week before. The night before I ran away, my foster father was drunk and in one of his usual ugly moods. He often stopped off after work at the bar near the local sheriff’s office where he worked and had a few beers before coming home.” Brandon stroked Cleo under the chin for a few moments, smoothing her plush, velvety coat. She rubbed her head against his hand and swished her tail back and forth.

  “My foster mother hadn’t been feeling well, and dinner wasn’t ready. That’s all he needed to begin the nightly abuse.”

  “Where were you when all this was happening?” Tash pushed his glasses up on his head and rubbed his eyes, a grim expression etched in hard lines on his face.

  “In my room. But when I heard the yelling, I crept down the stairs to see what was happening. Then I watched him hit her and knock her down.” It played before his eyes. “He stood over her and laughed. I must’ve made a sound because he turned around and found me standing on the stairs. I ran out of the house, but he caught up to me at the shed in the back and pinned me against the door.”

  “What you gonna do, sonny boy?” The stale, beer-laced breath of his foster father blasted over his face, gagging Brandon until he wanted to retch. “No one’s gonna believe you, and she ain’t gonna say nuthin’ if she knows what’s good for her.”

  The thought of this animal hitting his foster mother again enraged Brandon. “Leave her alone. You’re a big fucking bully. You could kill her.”

  Munson sneered in his face. “Who’d care? Stay out of it unless you want the same.” He hitched his pants up and spat on the ground. “She best have gotten herself up off that floor or she won’t be able to get up again.” He spat again, then went to hit Brandon across the face.

  “It was as if something snapped inside me,” whispered Brandon, the horror of that night tangible, as if he could reach out and touch Munson or smell his beery, stale breath against his face. “I picked up a loose brick sitting on the windowsill of the shed and hit him over the head with it.”

  Tash slid next to him, evicting an outraged Cleo from Brandon’s lap, and draped his arm around Brandon’s shoulders. “Talk it out. Let it go.”

  “So much blood. There was so much blood, and he fell to the ground.” Brandon gulped, tears trickling down his cheeks. “I didn’t mean to kill him.” He started sobbing, whether from relief at finally telling his story or fear over what would happen next. “I just wanted him to never hit her again. Or me.”

  “Of course you didn’t.” Tash gathered Brandon to his chest and soothed him. “So he died and you ran away?”

  After gulping down some air, Brandon continued. “I left him lying on the ground. I sneaked back in the house and gathered some clothes. My foster mother was crying in the kitchen as she made dinner.” Tash smoothed his hair as Brandon’s head lay on his chest. “I was so scared, Tash. I ran out the back door and never went back. I shouldn’t have left her but I was too scared at what I’d done to think straight.”

  They sat for a few minutes. The only sound to be heard was the hush of the occasional car passing by outside. Then Tash sighed and spoke, but there was no condemnation or censure in his voice. “Are you sure he’s dead?”

  Brandon nodded against the sturdy wall of Tash’s chest. Within the circle of Tash’s arms, he’d found safety and comfort, but most of all peace. He’d never had someone take him in their arms and hold him until the hurt and pain disappeared.

  “Yeah. After I ran, I checked the newspapers a few days later, and there was a small article about Paul Munson being found dead.” He pulled away from Tash’s arms. “I’ve spent the last seven and a half years in limbo, looking over my shoulder, waiting for the police to find me and arrest me. I did whatever I could to hide myself.”

  “By calling yourself Randy? And not contacting Ash because you thought he wouldn’t want you?” Tash’s gentle fingers combed through his hair in a languid slide. “But now you know how much Ash loves you. He’ll take your case and defend you to the death.” With a gentle kiss to Brandon’s brow, Tash smiled down at him. “You weren’t even eighteen, sweetheart. It was an accident, self-defense. I’m sure he can get you off.”

  Brandon had never thought of asking Ash to be his lawyer. His only thought had been to hide what he’d done and live outside the concrete lines of society. “Will you come with me when I talk to him?” He added in haste, “I mean, you don’t have to; I can do it myself.” He struggled to sit up and away from Tash. It would be a challenge for him, but he was strong enough.

  Instead, Tash held him firm, his muscled arms remaining tight around Brandon’s body. “Do you think after everything, I’d walk away from you? Make you handle this on your own?”

  “Ash will help me,” Brandon replied weakly, trying hard to maintain a semblance of strength. “You’re right. I know he will.”

  With surprising strength, Tash crushed him closer, his lips tasting the curve of Brandon’s neck. “But he won’t be there to hold you at night and keep you warm like I can. He won’t whisper to you that everything will be all right, which I will.” Sweet kisses trailed along Brandon’s throat, and he moaned, desire running through his body, rich and heavy like a fine, full-bodied wine.

  Tash’s mouth hovered over his as their eyes locked. “He won’t love you like I do.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  To say he was shocked by Brandon’s confession was an understatement. But this was no time to dwell
upon it, not when Brandon’s mouth opened beneath his, needy, wet, and searching, and his hard body molded itself with Tash’s. As their breaths merged and their teeth clashed against one another, they tore at each other’s clothes and soon lay naked and entwined on the fluffy rug. Brandon straddled him, his heavy cock warm against Tash’s thigh, a solemn look on his face.

  “You still want me?”

  “I never stopped.” Tash hated hearing the anxious uncertainty in Brandon’s voice. “I never could.” He slid his hand behind Brandon’s neck and pulled him in for another deep, searching kiss, leaving both of them breathless and shaking. The taut muscles of Brandon’s shoulders rippled under Tash’s hands.

  “Do you really think—” Brandon began to speak, but Tash cut him off with another dizzying kiss.

  “No more thinking for tonight. You’ve been caught up in so much pain and fear your entire life, more than anyone should ever have to live through.” Tash rolled onto his side, holding Brandon in his arms. “When was the last time you let go and lived in the moment, taking enjoyment only for yourself?”

  “I haven’t been happy since I was a child. Not till I met you.”

  Tash found himself smiling. “Then let me make you happy now.” He threw his leg over Brandon’s hip, forcing their erections up against one another. Brandon’s eyes grew wide, then hazy with his burgeoning desire.

  “Tonight is a night for feeling, not thinking.” Tash sat up and held out his hand. “Come upstairs with me. Tomorrow we’ll deal with reality, but right now, forget about everything except you and me and how I’m going to make love to you so hard you won’t remember your own name.”

  Brandon slipped a hand in his, and together they walked up the stairs. The house stood hushed as if holding its breath, waiting for some momentous occurrence to take place. They paused as they reached the top of the stairs, and Brandon put a staying hand on Tash’s shoulder.

  “You know, you said you loved me downstairs.” The luminous expression Brandon now wore had chased the sadness from his eyes. “Yet you didn’t ask me how I felt.”

  “I don’t want you to be pressured to respond the same way. You have me for as long as you want me.”

  Brandon’s smile faded. “What? You think I don’t have the same feelings for you?”

  Being so young, Brandon might mistake his newly awakened desire for love, but it could easily be lust as well. “I know you care for me. I think you’re confused and at a crossroads right now. I’m here for you, no matter the outcome.” Tash drew Brandon close and kissed him. “I don’t want to waste time talking when we could be doing other things.” Tash held Brandon around his waist. “I want to do unspeakable things to you.”

  The fire in the depths of Brandon’s eyes spurred Tash to action. “Let’s go take a shower.” Hand in hand they entered the bedroom and walked through to the connecting bathroom. Tash turned on the tap, sending hot water rushing from the rainfall showerhead. He turned the wall jets on so that there was heated water spraying at them from every direction.

  They stood together, the water streaming over their bodies. Tash squirted some liquid soap onto his hand and spread it over Brandon’s chest, massaging it until the bubbles sparkled under the water. He smoothed the soap all over himself, then Brandon, briefly massaging the man’s back, ass cheeks, and stiff cock. With every swipe of Tash’s hand and brush of his fingers, Brandon rocked his hips into Tash’s pelvis. His head dropped onto Tash’s shoulder.

  “God, yeah, that feels amazing,” he said, his lips against Tash’s neck.

  “I’ve only begun the night.” Tash rinsed them both and turned off the water. “Let’s get into bed and warm up. I’ll set a fire.”

  One of the reasons he’d bought the house was the wood-burning fireplace in the bedroom. It cut down on his heating bill, but on a night like this, his only thought was to see the firelight flickering over Brandon’s beautiful body.

  Brandon had settled under the covers by the time Tash had finished lighting the fire. The delicious smell of the wood drifted through the air. He dived underneath the comforter, relishing Brandon’s naked body. As the fire heated the room, he drew back the bedcovers, exposing them both to the rapidly warming air.

  “I’m going to make love to you all night until you forget that there’s a tomorrow.”

  Brandon lay still, the absolute trust in his eyes almost breaking Tash’s heart. No one had ever looked at him that way. When they kissed, their tongues met, licking and teasing each other. Tash broke away from Brandon’s lips, sliding his mouth along the fresh-tasting skin of Brandon’s throat. He stroked at the visible pulse pumping at Brandon’s neck and sucked at the tender skin beneath Brandon’s jaw.

  Tash licked a lazy slide down the planes of Brandon’s chest and flicked his tongue against Brandon’s dark red nipples. He traveled down Brandon’s torso to circle his belly button, then nibbled at the edge of Brandon’s neatly trimmed groin.

  “Tash, please.” Brandon moaned, his eyes squeezed tight, his hands twisting at the bedsheets.

  Tash licked around the head of Brandon’s cock, flicking his tongue in the tiny slit. He loved the warm, clean scent of Brandon’s body. “Please what?” The firelight gilded their bodies, the dancing flames flickering and casting shadows on the walls. They were cocooned within their own cave of intimacy.

  “Please, more?” He took Brandon into his mouth, engulfing the fully hardened length of him. The taut muscles of Brandon’s thighs quivered under his cheeks and fingertips as Tash slid his mouth up and down Brandon’s shaft, and swirled his tongue around the head of Brandon’s cock. His saliva mingled with the salty-sweet taste of Brandon’s precome, and Tash hummed with satisfaction at the delicious taste.

  Small sighs and groans from Brandon’s kiss-swollen lips spurred Tash on. He reached to cup Brandon’s balls, hefting them in his palm, then slid a wet finger behind Brandon’s sac, tracing a circle around Brandon’s tight hole before teasing the entrance to the tight passage. He remained busy sucking and licking Brandon’s cock.

  “God, yeah, more.” Brandon hissed.

  Tash let go of Brandon’s cock to kiss a trail down to where his fingers entered Brandon’s body.

  “Remember, I said I wanted to kiss you all over.” He licked and rolled Brandon’s balls. “Turn over, sweetheart.”

  “What?” Brandon blinked, seemingly confused, as he raised himself on one elbow. “Turn over?”

  Tash grinned. Baby, you have no idea how your mind is about to explode. “Yeah, go on. I promise; you’re going to be fine.”

  Without further questioning, Brandon lay on his stomach, giving Tash a view of his firm, rounded ass. Tash braced himself over Brandon, kissing the smooth soft skin of his shoulders, tracing his spine with the tip of his tongue from the nape of Brandon’s neck to his tailbone.

  Twin dimples adorned the top of each buttock. The man’s ass was as adorable as his face. After pressing a kiss to each cheek, Tash slid down on the mattress and spread Brandon wide, getting a full view of his perfect little hole. He leaned over and swiped his tongue over the crease of Brandon’s ass, coming to settle the point of his tongue in the opening. As he expected, Brandon stiffened.

  “What the hell?” His voice shook with shock.

  Without any comment or hesitation, Tash slid the tip of his tongue inside Brandon’s hole. The tight opening around his mouth quivered, and Tash held on as Brandon, obviously awash in sensations, spread his legs wider, encouraging Tash with his harsh cries. Tash reached deep within Brandon’s passage, jabbing in and out, his hands holding on to the globes of Brandon’s ass to steady them both. Brandon worked himself on Tash’s tongue faster and harder. Tash continued to lap and lick at his opening as Brandon’s breathy moans escalated in the darkness.

  With one last lick and nibble of Brandon’s round ass, Tash lovingly kissed his way up Brandon’s back and nuzzled his face in the curve of Brandon’s shoulder. Brandon shuddered, and Tash whispered in his ear, “You liked that, s
weetheart, huh?” Tash grasped Brandon under the chest and turned Brandon’s head toward him. Their mouths met in a clash of lips and tongues, the kiss messy and wild, their mutual desire escalating out of control. This night was for Brandon, to give him the pleasure he’d never enjoyed and show him how important he was to Tash, how much Tash needed and wanted him. “I want you to fuck me.”

  Brandon stilled and turned over so they faced each other. “You do?” His dark green eyes shone soft and luminous. “I’ve thought about it, dreamed about what it would feel like to be inside of you.”

  Tash dipped his head down and pressed his lips to Brandon’s. “I like it both ways. You should see if you do too.” As he spoke, Tash sank a finger into Brandon’s passage, loving the way the suede-silk heat sucked him deep inside, surrounding him in its tight warmth. He added a second finger and began to steadily pump them in and out of Brandon’s ass. “You’re a beautiful bottom. I love feeling you underneath me, taking me inside your tight body.” Tash withdrew his fingers and kissed Brandon. “But I want you deep inside me, becoming part of me. Do you want that too?”

  There was no hesitation this time. Brandon nodded, and Tash took the condom and lube he’d placed on the night table and handed them to Brandon. “Here.”

  Their hands touched as Brandon took the items, and Tash held on to him for a moment. “Don’t overthink it.”

  A brief smile, then Brandon unsnapped the bottle, and Tash didn’t have to wait long. Brandon slid down the bed to sit between Tash’s knees.

  With a sureness Tash hadn’t expected, Brandon’s long fingers, cool with liquid, touched him. First one finger slid inside, then two, reaching, stretching him, then hitting that magical spot to send a shower of sparks through Tash, wiping away the sting of the initial entry.

  He’d forgotten what it felt like to be touched, to be loved. “Oh God,” Tash cried out, tears springing to his eyes. Years. It had been years since he’d experienced the pleasure-pain of lovemaking so intense and soul-deep it choked him.