How to Catch a Groom

by Jacobs, Holly

  “Mom and Dad—hiccup. What’s up?” she asked, playing innocent.

  Desi looked at her parents and tried to see them through Seth’s eyes.

  They looked harmless enough.

  Her mother, Barbara, was petite, her dark hair highlighted with striking streaks of grey and vivid blue eyes that defied age. Her father, Verle, was much taller than Seth. His hair was completely grey with no signs of thinning at all.

  “Your mother wanted to talk to you about Stanley. He called, upset that you’d broken your date. He’d been so excited about your first date and says he hasn’t been able to get a hold of you to reschedule the second one. We said we’d help and were just about to let ourselves into the apartment to wait for you. And who is this?” Her father eyed Seth suspiciously.

  “Seth. Seth Rutherford.” He held out his hand and the men shook. “I’m filling in as Desi’s assistant tonight.”

  Desi unlocked the apartment door and let in all her uninvited guests.

  “Hiccup.” She led them into her living room with its rose-colored walls, lace curtains, floral printed fabrics. Normally walking into her living room was the biggest pleasure of her day. She loved the room. But today all she wanted was to walk straight through her living room and into her bedroom where she could climb beneath the covers and hide for the next week or so.

  She glanced at her three uninvited guests and knew there was no escape.

  “Mom, Dad, this is Seth—we went to school together—and Seth, this is my mother and father, Verle and Barbara Smith.” An uncontrollable series of hiccups punctuated her introductions.

  Rather than address Seth with social pleasantries, her mother turned to Desi and asked, “Where’s Phil?”

  Desi couldn’t seem to get a word out between the hiccups, and finally Seth answered, “I volunteered to fill in for him.”

  “So you’re not a wedding consultant by trade and not Desi’s date?” Her mother was staring at Seth as if he were a specimen under her microscope.

  Don’t say it, Desi willed. Please don’t say it. She’d forgive him for ruining her career if only he didn’t tell them—

  “No to both. I’m a professor of Biology and Desi and I are just friends.”

  He said it. A professional who worked at a real profession.

  He could have said male-escort or tarot card reader. How about rodeo rider? Anything but a professional.

  Darn.

  Her mother was eying Seth up in a most uncomfortable way, even as her father said, “If Seth is just a friend, then there’s no reason you can’t go out with Stanley again.”

  No reason except he had the personality of a parsnip. No, make that a mushroom. Fungus. That was how she’d describe Stanley Stall. Her parents had just happened to invite him to dinner last week on the same night they happened to invite Desi. She’d gone out with him once after that, and once was enough.

  “You broke your dinner date with him Tuesday, then he asked you to go to a movie on Wednesday and that you said you were busy.” Her mother placed just enough emphasis on the said part that Desi knew that her mother knew she’d lied to Stanley.

  “Sorry, Mom. You know, I always have dinner with Mary Jo and Pam on Wednesdays. And I don’t really have any nights open soon. With Phil gone I’m going to be busier than usual.” And—even with her now doomed career—she was unlikely to get un-busy ever again, at least for Stanley.

  Her parents acted as a unit. They used to push her toward a career worthy of her intellect, both acting in tandem. They dreamed of Nobel Prizes and academic honors. When that didn’t work, they started pushing her toward men.

  Suitable men.

  Unfortunately their idea of a man who would suit Desi was about as accurate as their opinion of a career that would suit her.

  Desi might not know what she was looking for in a man, but it obviously wasn’t what her parents were looking for.

  Her mother shot Desi a look that said they weren’t finished discussing Stanley, then turned to Seth and said, “So tell us, Seth, what exactly do you do?”

  “I’m studying the impact of foreign invaders on the lake’s ecosystem—”

  “I’m going to change,” Desi said, though her parents didn’t even hear her. Seth did. He looked at her helplessly as her mother led him toward the couch.

  Desi walked toward her bedroom, but could hear her mother grilling him about his teaching and his research. Desi took off her dress, stripping down to her lacy underwear, then pulled on jeans and a t-shirt over her hiccup-aching torso.

  Desi had been stressed before her parents arrived, but now? She might not ever recover.

  She hurried back out to the living room.

  “… and Desi’s in Mensa. Did you know that? She was in the gifted program in school. She got a full academic scholarship to college. And what is she doing with her life? Planning weddings, that’s what.”

  Seth said, “I don’t know—”

  “Neither do I,” her mother said. “Why look how she broke the date off with Stanley. He’s a perfectly respectable, successful man. I love my daughter, but I don’t understand her.”

  “I think you’re missing the big picture here,” Seth said. “Desi isn’t wasting her talents at all. She’s very talented at what she does. I’ve got letters behind my name, but I couldn’t do what she does. I ruined everything she worked so hard at in just one short evening.”

  “But she could be anything she wanted,” her mother insisted.

  “And that’s just what she’s doing. Finding something you love doing, something you’re good at doing, and then doing it. That’s a success in my book.”

  Desi heard the words and realized that she hadn’t hiccupped once as she blatantly eavesdropped. Seth had just stood up to her mother on her behalf.

  He was a hero.

  Suddenly Desi forgot his every mishap.

  “Well, I guess I never thought about it that way,” her mother said slowly.

  “You should. I wish I could find a way for all my students to discover what it is they would love to do with their lives. I know I’m a better researcher than an instructor, but teaching is part of the package and I do my best to inspire them to do just what your daughter has done. I encourage them to find their passion.”

  He paused a moment and said, “Watching Desi in action I learned that she handles a million different details flawlessly and seemingly effortlessly. It isn’t as easy as she makes it seem. I lost the bride and groom, got groped by a number of women, knocked over a stack of dishes, stepped on the bride’s train, and the final icing for the evening was when I sat in the cake. I’m a total wedding disaster.”

  Desi’s hiccups were gone for good, she realized. And she realized something else, something new about Seth Rutherford—he understood her. At least, he understood her love for what she did. And that was more than her parents had ever done.

  She forgave him for his wedding disaster-itis and cleared her throat as she walked into the room.

  “Desi, are you feeling better, dear?” her mother asked. Desi would have sworn there was something different in her mother’s tone. Something that said she was finally beginning to understand her.

  “Seth was just telling us that he doesn’t think you’re going to offer him a permanent job as your assistant,” her father said.

  Desi chuckled. “That would be an understatement. But he did try. He helped me out of a bind and even if there were a few accidents—”

  Seth openly choked at her new, kinder version of his assistance.

  “—I know he did his best. Did he tell you there wouldn’t have even been a cake if he hadn’t gone and rescued it?”

  “Seth told us everything we needed to hear,” her father said.

  Desi shot Seth a look of gratitude.

  Seth stood. “I just wanted to be sure you made it home. And now that—” Suddenly he broke off his sentence and said, “Hey, you haven’t hiccupped since you came back in here.”

  “Like I said, I�
�m feeling much better.”

  “But I ruined your career.”

  “I’m sure you didn’t. I’ll make it up to the Mentz’s somehow.”

  “You know, Desdemona, you could have called us, if you were desperate for help,” her mother interjected.

  “Not that we’d be any better at receptions than Seth here, but we would have helped you,” her father added.

  “You would have?” she asked, praying her jaw wasn’t dragging the floor.

  “Desi,” her mother’s voice uncharacteristically soft. “We might not understand why you chose this profession and we might have, maybe, been a little disappointed thinking you weren’t making the most of your intellect, but Seth reminded us that you are following your heart. He reminded us that you are good at what you do. And both your father and I respect that. But whatever you do, whatever our feelings about it, you are our daughter and if you need us, we’ll always be there.”

  Desi’s eyes misted up. She wanted to say something, but couldn’t seem to find any words. “I—”

  “Why don’t you see Seth out,” her mother said. “He’s looking very uncomfortable with our little family discussion.”

  Wordlessly, she stood and took Seth’s arm as she led him to the door.

  She was touching him, she realized. She dropped his arm and stammered, “Seth, I don’t know how to thank you.”

  She opened the door, waiting for him to leave, but he didn’t. Instead, he asked, “You have another wedding tomorrow, too, don’t you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Since you couldn’t have replaced Phil yet, do you still need me? I mean, if you get through this weekend, you can use next week to find someone more permanent, right?”

  “Right.”

  “Well, I’m volunteering. Unless you’d rather ask your parents.”

  “I can’t tell you how much their offer meant, but I suspect Mom and Dad would be less capable at assisting than you are. They’re much better at running the show or giving orders.”

  That much was true. But what she wasn’t going to say was that she wanted to see Seth again and if he helped her she knew she would.

  “Fine. What time?”

  Desi stared at him. If she’d followed her parent’s wishes and become a scientist, Seth Rutherford would make an interesting specimen. She wasn’t sure what to make of him and maybe studying him would help.

  No. She took that back, she didn’t want to figure him out.

  Desi knew what she wanted in life—a successful career and a happily-ever-after of her own. She wanted romance. Someone who loved her to distraction and would prove it in a romance-worthy way.

  She couldn’t imagine Seth ever waxing poetic about his love for anyone.

  No, Seth might have rescued her from her parents tonight, but he wasn’t a romance hero. Add to that, he was on the rebound in a big way and you had the most unsuitable man in the whole world. She would have better luck chasing after Stanley than chasing her girlhood crush.

  But that didn’t stop Seth from being one of the most attractive men she’d seen in a long time.

  The thought made her sigh.

  “Is that a yes, Seth, I really need you sigh?” he asked. “Or is it a, I’m between a rock and a hard place, so I guess I don’t have a choice sigh?”

  “You’re sure you want to volunteer?” she asked, hoping he’d change his mind and back out.

  “I guess I am. That is, if you’re not afraid to give me another try.”

  “Well, you didn’t pass your driver’s test first time, but you’ve managed to drive all these years without an accident, so maybe it will be the same with the wedding assistance.”

  “Great.” He grinned.

  It almost looked as if he was pleased to be helping. “What time?”

  She’d let Seth help this one last time, and that would be that. They’d be even and she’d get back to normal. “Meet me at the Lutheran Church in Wesleyville about eleven, okay?”

  “Why don’t I pick you up a little before that and we can go together?”

  “Okay.”

  She shut the door behind him. One more day working with Seth Rutherford and that would be it. She’d find a new assistant and get back to her life.

  “Desi?” her mother called.

  Speaking of getting back to, there was still the matter of Stanley to take care of.

  “Coming,” she called.

  She glanced at the closed door.

  One more day of dealing with Seth Rutherford and she’d say goodbye to the object of her teenage crush for good.

  That would really be it.

  Chapter Five

  That was it.

  Desi admitted defeat.

  She couldn’t sleep.

  She’d tossed and turned all night long. The sun hadn’t risen and she finally gave up the pretense, turned on her bedside lamp and picked up her book, Her Perfect Man.

  Generally reading, especially reading a good romance, soothed her. But this morning non-soothing phrases kept catching her eye as she flew through the pages.

  “They had everything in common.”

  Seth thought love should be a partnership of minds, she thought love should be a partnership of hearts.

  Not that it mattered.

  It wasn’t as if she was considering a relationship with Seth, she told herself sternly. What she felt for him was simply a remnant of a girlhood crush.

  “Romero and Cassandra fit together like two pieces of a puzzle.”

  Her attraction to Seth was puzzling, but she wouldn’t say they fit together. She was a read-romances-in-bed sort of girl, he was a clipboard-obsessed sort of guy.

  He’d spent his whole life looking for her.

  Seth might have looked at her, but hadn’t even noticed her in high school. Maybe he noticed a little now, but he was on the rebound, which meant that even if he were looking he wouldn’t look long. Rebound relationships never lasted.

  “Romero sent Cassandra chocolate … dark, rich chocolate that spoke of passion and pleasure. It was her favorite. But that came as no surprise. Romero seemed to have a sixth sense about her, as if he knew her every thought and fantasy.”

  Seth’s idea of a fantasy was …

  Desi didn’t have a clue what it was. Her fantasy man would be one who knew her inside out. Even armed with a clipboard, she doubted Seth would ever figure her out.

  “Romero—every woman’s dream man—admitted he dreamed of her and only her.”

  Desi snorted. Seth probably dreamed of periodic tables.

  Not that she wanted Seth to dream of her. It wasn’t as if she dreamed of him. No, in order to dream she’d have to sleep and all she’d done was toss and turn.

  Finally, she couldn’t stand reading another word about Romero. He was perfect. Perfect for the Cassandra.

  No, more than that, he was just plain perfect. Nauseatingly perfect. Heck, he’d even folded his clothes before getting into bed. He probably never left the toilet seat up and the story made no mention of him snoring.

  Yeah, Desi would have liked him more if he snored. But instead, Romero was a saint.

  That should make her swoon for him, instead she tossed the book on the nightstand in disgust and glanced at the clock. She needed to get ready anyway.

  She took a quick shower and got ready for the day, then made her way into the kitchen for a cup of coffee. It was stupid getting so worked up over a book and Romero. He was exactly the kind of hero she was looking for, after all.

  A man who shared her interests, who was romantic, who anticipated her needs and desires. A man who loved her and would do anything for her.

  She pulled out the coffee and scooped heaping tablespoons into a filter, then slammed it into the coffeemaker.

  Yeah, Romero was everything she was looking for in a man. A true prince charming.

  She wasn’t sure why that thought distressed her, but it did.

  As she filled the carafe with water and dumped into the coffeemaker Seth flashed
through her mind. Just a quick image of him climbing out of his banana-colored sports car.

  Seth was the antithesis of what she was looking for. He was a man on the rebound, a man who didn’t believe in love so much as compatibility. A man …

  Oh, she had to forget about Seth Rutherford.

  She should have said no last night when he offered to help at today’s wedding. But she hadn’t and she refused to wonder why she hadn’t.

  Well, she’d get through today and then she was putting all thoughts of Seth out of her mind. She was going to forget about him if it was the last thing she did.

  She went to get the paper. She’d needed a heavy dose of reality after that saccharine coated Romero. She opened the door, bent to get paper, and found herself staring at shoes—well-polished, black shoes.

  She looked up and there was Seth, decked out in his tux, looking totally hot.

  How could she start forgetting if he looked so darned good?

  “Seth?” she asked in a morning croak.

  “I’m early. It’s a habit. I hate to be late, so I’m always a little early.”

  “I was just making coffee. I need it to jump start my morning, especially my early-afternoon-wedding Saturdays. Come on in. I’ll share. A quick cup and then we’ll get going.”

  “That would be great. Are you sure you want me to help today? I mean, after yesterday …” He left the sentence hang there as he trailed after her into the kitchen.

  Desi nodded at a stool, indicating he should be seated. “Sure I’m sure. I really need the help.”

  What was she saying?

  She’d just wondered why she’d agreed to Seth’s assistance today. This was the perfect opportunity to change her mind. But instead of telling him to go, she said, “You just had a few mishaps. Perfectly understandable. This is a difficult job.”

  She poured two cups of coffee and handed one to him, then took a seat across from him.

  “You’re right. This is nothing like research. Step one is always followed by step two, which is followed by step three, and then so on and so on. From what I can tell there is no order to running a wedding.”