How to Catch a Groom

by Jacobs, Holly

  Why? Why did it matter to her?

  Maybe it was a feeling of debt. Maybe it was simply that she liked him. She thought about … thought about his defending her to her parents, about his pitching in and helping, though it was obvious working at weddings wasn’t his forte. She even thought about his cat and its silly name.

  She liked him and she didn’t want to see him hurt.

  “No, it wasn’t a fight. She started laughing as he hollered. I mean, I’ve heard her laugh before—once we read this article about Prigogine’s theory of self-organization and Mary Kathryn said I could have been his case-study and we both laughed about that—but we never laughed like she and Tony were. It was … well, maybe sensual is a good word. And he was in the background laughing as well. Mary Kathryn, Kate, and I worked together for over a year but never had anything like that. Not that intimate.”

  He sat a moment, looking as if he was trying to digest the thought of Mary Kathryn, his research partner, turning into a sensually laughing Kate.

  “Let’s face it—the only heat between us was our Bunsen burner. I’m happy she’s found someone,” he finally said. “I’m happy for her and Tony. I love them both and hope they’re happy.”

  “You’re a good man, Seth Rutherford,” she said.

  She was struck by the accuracy of that statement. Desi might not know many things, but she knew in every fiber of her being that Seth was a truly good man.

  “No. I’m a simple man. I found out just in time that things would never have been simple with Mary Kathryn.”

  Simply wonderful.

  That’s how she’d describe Seth at this moment.

  He might deny his ability to feel deeply, yet she knew that he meant what he’d just said. He willingly forgave Tony and Kate. He loved them both enough to be happy for their happiness.

  Yeah, he was simply wonderful.

  “Okay, enough of that. Let’s get to work and see what we have.”

  Desi followed Seth’s directions. There was a snake-like tube on the deck of the boat. She helped Seth lift and place it in the water. He used the tube to collect his samples of the lake’s sediment and as he did, examine the contents from the bottom of the lake. In amongst the sand were rocks and all sorts of creepy crawly shelled things.

  Desi hated things that crept.

  Smooshy, yucky looking things.

  They gave her little shivers down her spine.

  She’d almost flunked biology in high school because she refused to dissect a worm.

  “What a haul. Why, look at that beauty,” Seth murmured as he stared at the sample. A pinky-nail sized gross thing lay in the center of his palm.

  “Zebra mussels aren’t native to the Great Lakes. They appeared in the mid-eighties. They’ve been a mixed blessing. They’ve helped clean the lake, and yet, they’ve thrown the entire ecosystem out of whack,” he said, slipping into his teacher mode seemingly without any effort. “They stick together and clog up water intake systems and—”

  He looked up and stared at her. “Are you okay?”

  “No.” Desi was desperately trying to keep from screaming like a girl. That creature in Seth’s hand gave her the willies. “What’s the matter?”

  “I’m just a little seasick, that’s all.” Seasick sounded better than scared of a glorified slug.

  “Oh, well, try to focus on something else. Here. Look at this beauty.” He dumped the zebra mussel into her hand.

  Seth was prepared for Desi to ooh and ah.

  He was prepared for her to study the specimen.

  He wasn’t prepared for her shriek or for the mussel to go flying across the boat. And he especially wasn’t prepared to have it land right between his eyes with a nice little thwack.

  But Desi obviously wasn’t prepared either … wasn’t set for the fact that The Guppy was a small boat. As she backed up, wiping her hand on her shorts as if she was trying to wipe childhood cooties off her hand, she’d backed right over the side into the churning lake waters.

  Seth’s heart squeezed into his throat.

  “Desi!” he screamed as he raced to the edge.

  He saw her safe within her orange life vest, bobbing next to the boat.

  “Here, grab my hand.” He leaned over the edge and thrust his hand toward her.

  She smiled then and reached up.

  He pulled.

  Desi braced her feet against the side of the boat, but rather than pulling herself up as he expected—as any sane, rational person would do—she pulled him down.

  Hard.

  Seth went toppling over the side, head first into the water as well. He immediately bobbed up to the surface because of his life vest.

  “What did you do that for?” he burbled as he choked on the water he’d inhaled on the way down.

  “I don’t know,” she said, laughing.

  Laughing hard.

  There was something familiar in that laugh. Seth bobbed in the lake, desperately trying to analyze what it was as he studied her.

  Then it hit him.

  Desi’s laugh had the same quality to it as Mary Kathryn’s had when she was on the phone laughing with Tony. Sensual.

  It made him think about the kiss they’d shared.

  Looking for a diversion, he did the only thing he could think of. He swam for the still laughing Desi and said, “That wasn’t nice,” just before he dunked her.

  She bobbed, in a life-vested induced way, like an apple in a barrel. She came up still laughing as she coughed and sputtered. At that moment, Seth did something totally out of character.

  He laughed.

  Not a small chuckle or a quiet laugh he might make politely at any faculty party when someone made a joke.

  No, this was a laugh ripped from the tips of his toes that traveled throughout his body, gaining momentum, until the moment it burst forth and rang out.

  It surprised him.

  Maybe it surprised Desi too, because she stopped sputtering and laughing, and simply stared at him a moment. She looked at him as if he was something rather foreign and mystifying.

  Then, just as suddenly, she was laughing again. “You think you can take me on and win? Well, you asked for it, Rutherford.”

  “Oh, yeah?”

  “Yeah. Prepare to be conquered.”

  Conquered. That’s just how he felt as he spent the next half an hour playing in the water. Conquered by a brunette with green eyes and a quick smile. The thought was more alien than his laughter.

  To be conquered by a small laughing woman who reminded him that there was more to Lake Erie’s water than zebra mussels and gobies, it was …

  For once in his life, he refused to over-analyze the situation.

  Seth pushed all worries about Desi’s affect on him and instead just allowed himself to relax. They played freely, carelessly. Like overgrown children who didn’t have a worry in the world.

  There were no runaway brides, no worries about careers.

  There was the sun and the waves …

  And there was Seth and Desi.

  For that moment in time, it just simply was.

  And the fact that it was enough for Seth.

  “I think I’m as pruned as an eighty-year-old woman.” Desi had just dunked him for the umpteenth time and held up her hand and examined the wrinkled skin.

  “Are you ready to get back in the boat?” he asked. He kept his tone light, though the question was tinged with regret.

  It was almost as if Lake Erie had mystically made him forget himself. As soon as he left its dark waters, he knew that the magic would fade. And rather than see the world as magic, he’d once again fade into a logical view.

  “Don’t make it sound as if us being out here is my fault. You’re the one who dunked me,” Desi said. “It’s your fault I’m all wrinkled.”

  “You’re the one who pulled me into the water,” Seth teased back.

  “Well, only after you put that slimy thing in my hand.”

  “It’s not a slimy thing. It’
s a zebra mussel. I’ve been studying their effects on the lake for the last two years.”

  “It doesn’t matter what you call it, its still slimy.”

  Seth knew whose fault it was that he’d just spent part of his afternoon playing instead of working and he’d have to think of some way to thank her for that. “Come on. Let’s get out of here. You first.”

  The small ladder at the side made getting out of the water easier, but the life vests were bulky, and so it took Desi a few extra minutes to climb up. And Seth spent those extra minutes studying her form. Well, studying all of her form that was visible to him. Her short-covered bottom.

  He realized that a cold lake wasn’t enough to chill the heat that raced through his body as he stared at Desi.

  She made it onto the boat and put an end to his agony.

  No, actually, she made it worse. As he reached the top of the ladder, he realized she’d stripped off her life vest, shorts and t-shirt. She was clad only in a demure tank bathing suit that looked anything but demure. It hugged her body in all the right places as she toweled herself off.

  “Gosh, the lake is colder than I thought. I’m freezing.”

  Seth stared at the samples on the deck of the boat.

  “Here,” she said, a towel hit him across the chest. “You’d better dry off, too.”

  “I’m fine.”

  He gulped as she sat on the deck of the boat and turned her face toward the sun. She looked like some Greek Goddess.

  Like Eve.

  Only instead of offering him an apple, she was his apple and he wanted nothing more than to take a bite.

  Seth shook his head.

  What was with him today? He’d just recently been with a woman who had everything in common with him, a woman who should have been perfect, but wasn’t.

  How could he be thinking about Desi like this?

  “Seth, what on earth is the matter with you? Are you waterlogged or what?”

  “I’m—” he stopped, unable to say another word.

  “Sit down before you fall down. I know you’re all work, but if this is how playing in the water for a little while affects you, you obviously have a problem.”

  She reached up, took his hand, and pulled him onto the deck next to her. “Now dry off and warm up.”

  “I think I’m warm enough.”

  “You can’t be. That water was chilly.”

  “No. No, I’m not chilly.”

  She reached over and took his hand. “Hey, you’re not.”

  Seth pulled it back, as if her touch burned.

  “What’s wrong? Are you mad at me because I pulled you into the water? Really, I was just teasing. I thought you had fun.”

  “No, I’m not mad. And I did have fun.”

  “So, what’s eating you?”

  “You.” The word was out before he could stop it.

  She was obviously as surprised by his statement as he was to have made it.

  “Pardon?” she asked.

  “You’re not really eating me, I’m simply fantasizing about you.”

  “Pardon?” she repeated.

  “You sound so prim and proper when you say pardon” he mimicked her inflection, “like that, but I don’t think you really are. I think …” he paused, studying her.

  Before he could change his mind, he leaned toward her, forgetting everything but the desire to kiss her. And though there was no frosting on them this time, she was still sweet.

  Intoxicating.

  Addictive.

  Seth heard someone groan. Maybe it was him.

  He was groaning over Desi?

  The thought sobered him and he broke off the kiss.

  She reached up and touched her lips, as if their kiss had somehow left a mark. “What did you do that for?”

  “I’m not sure.” Seth hadn’t known what he was doing since the day of his almost-wedding. But maybe it wasn’t the almost wedding that had confused things. Maybe it was Desi?

  “But maybe I want to do it again?” he added.

  “Are you asking me or telling me?” she asked.

  “Telling you. But—” What on earth was he saying?

  “Desi, I’m as confused by this as you are. Probably more so. Let’s finish up here, then, if you’d like, I want you to come home with me.”

  “Pardon?” she asked for a third time.

  Desi was sure she’d heard Seth wrong. She must still have water in her ears from her impromptu trip overboard. She wiggled her index fingers around in them, hoping to clear her hearing before he repeated himself.

  “Come home with me,” Seth repeated. “I’ll make you dinner.”

  She tried to keep her face neutral, tried not to let him see the way her heart lightened just a bit at his suggestion.

  “Are you a good cook?” she asked instead of saying, yes, Seth. I’d love to go home with you.

  “Yes,” he said, in that serious way of his, as if her question was one of earth shattering importance, rather than a just a joke. “I’m a very good cook. I know how to make a meal that optimizes nutritional values and minimizes calories.”

  “Uh, Seth are you implying I’m fat?” she teased him, hoping to throw him as off balanced as she felt.

  “No. You’re not fat.”

  “It sounded as if you were suggesting I might be.” At the serious look on his face, she realized that Seth wasn’t used to being teased.

  He tried again. “No, you’re not fat. I like how you look. I mean, I really like how you look. I can’t stop thinking about how you look. In fact, I’ve dreamed about it. And—”

  “Burgers,” she said, interrupting him.

  She wasn’t sure if she was pleased he found her attractive and had been thinking about her or just nervous. She was sure that she needed a safer subject.

  “What?” he asked.

  “Burgers. Hamburgers. After a day on the lake, I don’t want to maximize nutrition and minimize calories. I want burgers. Big, greasy ones with French fries.”

  “Do you know what a meal like that does to your cholesterol levels?” he asked.

  “Yep. But sometimes you just have to throw caution to the wind and live on the wild side. Sometimes it’s okay to have fun, Seth.” She paused, watching him take her comment in and grinned as she added, “And milkshakes. I like strawberry best. How ‘bout you?”

  She was ready for more arguments on the health risks associated with fast food, but all he said was, “Chocolate. Rich, thick chocolate.”

  “Let’s go then. I’m hungry.”

  They changed into dry clothes in the public restrooms after they’d docked The Guppy. Desi was glad she had an extra outfit in a bag.

  She followed him to the parking lot. Watching him walk. For the first time she noticed that he had an amazingly tight butt for a professor. Actually, for anyone.

  Not that it should matter. Seth wasn’t her type. He was her parents’ type, and that made him as far from her type as you could humanly get. She was just being nice. Friendly.

  They drove from the dock, up State Street, the top of Seth’s convertible down, the wind blowing through her hair and her mind running in circles.

  Yeah, friendly.

  Of course, she’d forgotten she’d promised herself to forget Seth Rutherford when she said she’d eat with him. Well, she’d forget about him after dinner.

  Desi was just having dinner with Seth because he was good company. It had nothing to do with the toe-tingling experience of kissing him, not once, but twice. It had nothing to do with the assets she’d been admiring. It didn’t even have anything to do with the fact that he was extremely cute when he got all serious and enthusiastic about tiny little slimy slugs.

  Nope, not at all.

  Desdemona Smith was simply an altruistic, generous human being. That’s all.

  Ordering burgers at a drive-through window interrupted her inner musings, but soon with grease ladened burgers in hand she was thinking again.

  Seth was a nice guy. But Desi want
ed more than nice.

  She wanted someone who was madly in love with her.

  Someone who couldn’t live without her. A passionate, adventurous soul mate.

  Someone who would sweep her off her feet and carry her away to a happily-ever after.

  Look at how quickly Seth had recovered from losing Mary Kathryn. That definitely isn’t a sign of a deeply, passionate sort of man. Add to that, the only carrying away had been when she carried his drunken self up his front stairs.

  Of course, he’d defended her to her parents.

  That was hero-ish.

  But …

  She realized the car had stopped and Seth had opened her door for her. “Here we are.”

  Desi followed him into his house, no closer to sorting out her feelings than when she’d started thinking. She pushed her worries away and took in Seth’s place now that she could see it plainly.

  It was every bit as organized as she’d imagined a little over a week ago in the murky light. And she’d been right—the walls were white. Dull, institutional white.

  Something brushed against her leg. “Hey, Schrodinger.”

  Desi knelt down and stroked the shabby cat’s fur. “How you doing, Dingie.”

  “Dingie?” Seth asked, pausing as he carried the food into the kitchen.

  “Well, Schrodinger is a bit of a mouthful, don’t you think?”

  “I named him after—”

  “Erwin Schrodinger. A physicist with a theory about a cat in a box being alive and dead at the same time. It’s sort of like the question, if a tree falls in the woods and no one is around, does it still make a noise?”

  “How did you know that?” he asked, looking confused. He pulled two plates out of the cupboard and loaded their artery-clogging goodies onto them.

  Desi took her plate and milkshake over to the small table in the corner. “You mean, how would a wedding coordinator know about a twentieth century physicist?”

  Seth sat next to her. “I didn’t mean to—”

  “Of course you did. But despite the fact that I’m a mere wedding coordinator doesn’t mean I don’t know things.”

  She bit into her burger. “Oh, this is heavenly. Try yours.”

  She swallowed, then said, “Back to Schrodinger. There are subjects I’m not well versed in, but science … Well, my parents wanted to turn me into a Nobel Prize winning scientist. I mean, instead of summer camp, you know the kind where you ride horses and swim? I went to science camp. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t what I wanted.”