Clara and Claire

by Lindsey Richardson

  “She knows Jhase?” Gemma asked, maintaining her voice at a low volume.

  I had not told her about what Jhase revealed to me. If Mother realized who I was, she could drag me back to Rajoor. I did not want to leave. I was on the brink of discovering Claire’s whereabouts, and I needed more time. I could not leave this world knowing as much as I did now.

  Mother... I thought, being at a loss of words. The illusion hid my true identity, but Mother ought to recognize her other daughter as well. I wanted her to see me as Claire and admit the truth. She and Jhase had a lot of explaining to do. Though it pained me, I advanced toward them. Gemma grabbed my arm again, pulling me back. She winced, looking paler than ever.

  “Trust me. I have to do this,” I insisted, tugging away from her. She gave up easily, seeing as we were in the presence of an audience.

  I approached and watched as the two continued on without noticing my closeness. As I neared the table Ezra turned his head and stared at me, but I ignored him entirely. Not even he realized who had joined the festivities. Jhase had never remarried after his wife’s “death,” and this was the first time I saw him with another woman his age.

  Mother had a large smile on her face, one I barely recognized. The last time I saw it was when I was a young girl. Was this one of her tricks or did they love each other? Was my family finally being reunited? I stopped in front of the table. My hopes increased, but I risked losing everything.

  Chapter Twenty

  Intimately Impatient

  The men greeted me at the table, and Mother turned to me and held out her hand. I stepped toward her, shaking it, and she introduced herself. I nearly forgot about the illusion, but she instantly recognized me as Claire, and I glanced at Jhase. His smile vanished; this was the proof he had spoken about. Mother’s knowledge of Claire confirmed everything. It hit me like a rock being thrown at my head. My family was not filled with darkness, but it had been consumed with lies. It took all my strength to refrain from yelling at Mother. How dare she hide endless secrets from me? The truth about my father and siblings were a lie. I lived believing I was alone, and she was the reason behind it.

  “Might I have a word with you in private?” I asked, turning to face Jhase.

  He agreed and stood up, walking a distance away from the table. I followed, waiting until we were far enough no one could hear us. Numerous thoughts and accusations waited at the tip of my tongue. I wanted to say everything, but there was not enough time. Everyone expected him and I to act as we normally would. I could only imagine the gossip spreading amongst the audience while I stood in front of him. Glancing to my right, I noticed Gemma nearby in case I needed support.

  “Everything you said holds true. Why is she here?”

  “For her daughter, of course. I’ve distracted her for as long as I can, but the decision is yours,” Jhase replied. While it was a relief to hear Mother finally questioned my stay here, I was disturbed by her arrival. With the lies staring me in the face, I wanted to hear her explain it to me. The answers I desired were a part of two different stories.

  Jhase folded his hands. “Revealing the truth is dangerous. News of the disappearance would spread like a wildfire across the islands. I’m trying to protect you and your sister. This decision, however, is yours alone to make. If you leave no one will blame you. You’ve done more than enough for this family. I could send Lukas to watch over you until everything has settled.”

  Like Ezra, he gave me a choice, one I had prayed for when I first arrived. Choosing between truth and lies affected me and Claire’s life. Vanessa had threatened me, and I needed to warn the others about her. It seemed no one in her family paid attention to her recent actions. Might her interest in Ezra actually be a means to hurt me through him?

  Jhase’s mentioning of Lukas reminded me that returning to Rajoor was no longer a simple task. Until we knew who was responsible for Claire’s disappearance, there was no telling who might come after me in Rajoor. Ren’s attack might not have been influenced by someone who remained near me, even now. While I missed the simplicity of my homeland, I had already made this decision once before. Too many lives remained at stake for me to give up on solving this mystery.

  “I can’t leave until Claire is safe and at home. We must call a Council meeting immediately after the festival. Vanessa sees me as an imposter, and she’s threatened my life.”

  His brows furrowed. “I’ll alert the Watchers and call for the meeting after everyone has left. Too many locals are here, as well as councilors’ families. Anything irregular will cause alarm. Are you sure about staying?”

  I glanced back at Mother, though she faced the opposite direction. Seeing her here reminded me that she was an entirely different person from the woman I knew. She had connections here with people and might be closer to them than me. Age did her no favors in allowing people to recognize her instantly, but her name alone held weight in Ninomay. This public return would raise questions Jhase might have to answer soon.

  “And what will you tell my mother?” I asked. She would not have traveled here for nothing. If she wanted me she would have her way, and I could not imagine a lie to change her mind. Ren’s trial was over, and if his parents did not know by now they would in the coming days. Several more days hardly seemed like enough to find Claire or further interrogate Vanessa. I worked against the clock, and eventually it would catch up to me. It was Mother’s turn to live with a lie.

  Jhase blew out his cheeks. “I’ll tell her the truth: Ren’s sentencing has not been decided. He’s refusing to cooperate, and we must find other methods of learning how he found a white rose. I’d say we have maybe a week at best to find an illusionist willing to travel to Rajoor.”

  I laughed, thinking how ridiculous it was for two people to mask themselves for someone else. Mother stayed away from home long enough to not know the difference, but the facts did not comfort me. My life was not public like Claire’s, and I did not want anyone to relive what I had experienced with Isaak. Illusions and lies would only hold up for a limited time. We risked shattering lives with each illusion.

  Patting my head, Jhase said, “Leave this to me and focus on the festival. We’ll discuss everything tonight.”

  Hesitantly I left him and returned to stand with Gemma, who remained waiting where I had left her. I nodded, and the tension in her face eased slightly. She wrapped her arm around mine as we watched numerous people dance.

  What are you thinking, Ren? I thought. Ren’s refusal to work with the Council would only further harm him. The fact he remained on this island, nearby me, left me feeling faint. I needed to find out where he remained imprisoned and speak with him. Perhaps he would tell me what the Council wanted to know.

  In the corner of my eye I watched Mother advance to Jhase, listening to his explanation. She nodded and smiled, and without further debate she accepted the lie. I doubted this was the first lie between the two of them. I watched her leave, though she glanced back and I averted my eyes. My body fought with my conscience to give up and accept defeat. What if we never found Claire or she was dead as the letter suggested? Each day I spent here meant stepping further away from my own life. The longer I stayed in Claire’s shoes the more they felt more like mine than hers. Was I becoming someone else and forgetting the woman behind the illusion?

  “Claire, is she leaving?” Gemma asked, frowning.

  I turned my head at the sound of Claire’s name, the one I was committed to now. It did not matter that she only called me that because we were in public. It was how quickly I answered to it that ripped me apart. Giving up would have been a welcomed solution, but it was not one I desired. The bigger concern clawing at me now was how nonchalant Mother acted toward whom she assumed to be Claire. Claire was her daughter as well, the one she had not seen for twenty years. She left her without so much as a goodbye.

  “Amazing how many lies we can tell our loved ones... and they believe them,” I replied.

  Despite wanting to tell Gemma about rec
ent events, I accepted it would have to wait. We walked to the large food table, and she handed me a plate. Several people remained nearby, refilling their plates, and I scanned further ahead. Everything in Ninomay seemed to involve waiting. Wait to tell someone information, wait for a clue, and wait for the enemy’s attack. Waiting was nothing new and its familiarity left me dreading the moments I spent with it. Patience and I had become involved in more of an intimate relationship than I ever shared with any man.

  My gaze fell on Declan and Lukas. They stood out amongst everyone else, being the only ones left at the training dummies. I left Gemma behind and advanced to where the men stood. It seemed they had agreed to challenge one another.

  A tiny gathering of people nearby cheered as Declan destroyed his dummy with one final spell. Declan held out his hand to Lukas, who ignored him entirely and cursed as he walked away. Turning and noticing me, Declan intertwined his hand with mine and watched as another pair of mages faced off.

  “The boy’s never lost anything. His parents would kill for him if he gave them a reason,” he whispered.

  Actions spoke louder than words, and perhaps we were wrong to pass judgment on him. There was much I had to share with the Council and even more to share with my allies. I grew weary of being threatened and reading hateful letters. This time I wanted to strike back and threaten someone out of hiding. By the end of the night I needed to confront Claire’s enemies.

  Wherever you are, Claire, you won’t be there much longer.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Walk on Ice

  With Bellona’s return, she confirmed Alesia had gone into labor. She urged the women of the Council to join her so that we might be present for the baby’s arrival. She also left a message with a servant to inform Jhase.

  I quickly joined the women as we left behind our table along with Vanessa. Fortunately it did not seem she would be included in this event. I lifted my skirts to advance further as we passed the tables and rushed through the front doors of the castle. Bellona spoke quickly, explaining healers remained with Alesia and the child was expected at any given moment.

  We ascended the staircase in haste, and at the top Bellona turned left. She led us to a bedroom located past the meeting area. I heard no screams or crying from either the baby or Alesia. Opening the door, Bellona stepped inside first as Gemma and I entered afterward. Alesia lay on the bed, holding a baby wrapped in a blanket. She hummed quietly to it, and the healers greeted us at our arrival.

  “Ladies, these are our finest healers,” Bellona said, pointing to the man and other woman present. “Is it a boy or girl?”

  “A boy!” Alesia shouted, smiling wider than I had ever seen. Her focus remained on the baby, but the women advanced closer.

  Gemma and Bellona instantly asked to hold the child and made noises and faces. It occurred to me that everyone in this room except for me was a mother. I watched carefully as the women interacted with the baby, noticing Alesia’s face changed as Bellona held him.

  Bellona rocked the baby and said calmly, “Another boy—your third.”

  “Yes…” Alesia replied, looking to me as if asking for assistance.

  I slowly convinced Bellona to allow me to hold the child, and she hesitantly handed him over. I held him carefully as Mother had shown me on rare occasions. The baby shared Alesia’s dark hair color, but his eyes did not match hers. Instead it reminded me of Vanessa’s amber eyes. I shook this thought and tried to focus on the meaningfulness of this day. A new life had been brought into the world. This child was innocent to any evil forces that remained at bay, and he only further convinced me to stay determined with my mission.

  Forcing a smile, I said, “A beautiful boy. You are lucky.”

  I stepped forward and returned him to his mother. She thanked me, and I stepped back, admiring their family from afar. Despite some time having past since Bellona’s announcement, no one else entered the room. Not even the man responsible for this child’s existence. Alesia’s features did not seem like the kind to scare away men. I waited for someone else to enter and show their love for this newborn babe, but alas it seemed only the three of us rejoiced in this moment. Alesia’s eyes closed, and the healers urged us to leave and allow her rest.

  As soon as I exited the room I waited for the door to shut. Bellona and Gemma stood at my side, seemingly uncertain as to whether we should return to the festival. I remained focused on Alesia’s life, and unlike with Vanessa, I could go directly for the answer I sought.

  “Where is the father?” I asked in a whisper.

  Bellona lowered her head. “At the festival… enjoying himself no doubt.”

  I looked to Gemma, who only winced in response. Why would the father be outside instead of with his child on its birthday? If this was a normal custom in Ninomay, it remained foreign to me. I cleared my throat and hoped Bellona would elaborate. Though I had known her for a short time, she had never been this quiet. I noticed the times Elias reminded her to hold her tongue, yet suddenly she had nothing to say. Not even Gemma wanted to share more details on this matter.

  “Alesia is Elias’s mistress. After Lukas and Vanessa, I miscarried. Ever since then Elias has been with her. She’s borne him three boys. He’s never present for their births. It’d be a terrible burden to our family’s reputation,” Bellona explained.

  Though she sounded bitter, she did well to hide emotions from her face. I wondered how many times she had explained this story to others.

  Her eyes rose to meet mine and she continued. “Don’t speak a word of this to anyone outside of the Council. My children don’t know. Do you understand?”

  I nodded my head vigorously, but I stared in disbelief. Bellona bullied her daughter into loveless relationships while she herself remained in one. Elias and Alesia led more secretive lives than I had ever imagined. If this affair was well hidden from society, surely the kidnapper also maintained their identity. No matter how much weight the Pavlou name once carried, nothing explained the affair. Bellona remained fully aware of her husband’s sins and did nothing to stop it. She did nothing to leave him as any moral woman would. Had her self-esteem sunken this low to allow adultery to run through her household?

  Bellona coughed and excused herself, claiming she would return to the festival. Gemma and I remained outside of Alesia’s room, staring at each other. I could not find the words to express my feelings. My companion offered nothing, though this information was nothing new to her. With the affair having started after Vanessa’s birth it was no wonder why Elias’s only daughter was treated poorly. She remained a constant reminder of his poor decisions and the destruction of their marriage. Unlike Gemma and Alec it seemed the Pavlous had decided to implode together with one bad decision after another.

  “Circe help me…” I muttered, grabbing Gemma’s arm and urging her to join me. We might as well rejoin with the festivities since everyone else remained in the garden. I said nothing more about Alesia’s relationship with Elias. I did not have the words, and nothing brought justice to the depth of their secret.

  ***

  The festival ended and I stood with Jhase, facing the Council. Grave faces stared at us, reminding me they did not relish this request. Their families awaited their return before the end of the night. The words I desired to speak freely were harsh and dangerous.

  The dark sky reminded me I did not have long. This meeting was a necessary evil to say words that had been left unspoken. I did not want to be the one to reveal this news to them, but I was the only one equipped to share the facts. Everyone was present except Alesia, who reminded in bed resting.

  Jhase glanced around at the faces. “Thank you for arriving with such short notice. As it is late, this meeting will be quick and direct. Bellona has informed me Alesia won’t be joining us. She gave birth to a baby boy this afternoon. Her return to the Council is unknown at this time.”

  He sat down and motioned for me to continue. I stood behind him, clenching my hands together. I snuck a glance
at Elias, who seemed unaffected by the news of his newborn son. Bastard or not, the child had to mean something to his father. Did Elias simply keep Alesia for pleasure and nothing more? Did he not visit his other children? I shuddered at the thought of a man like Isaak without any concern of deserving the title of father.

  Instead I refocused, landing my eyes on Ezra. Our eyes locked, and he offered a half-smile. Not even his presence could calm my nerves.

  With shaking hands, I spoke clearly. Perhaps it would not matter how I looked if I spoke with confidence. “Vanessa spoke with me privately tonight. Despite my best efforts, she is convinced I am not Claire. She has threatened me with intentions to harm me.”

  Elias’s mouth twitched while Bellona remained emotionless. After her revelation of her husband’s affair I wondered if this cut deeper than any expression could show. Their family had not been altogether forgotten, despite Ivan’s reign. Threatening or accusing them held a risk, even if the accusation fell upon their daughter. The daughter they both seemed to hate or despise in some form equally. Despite Elias’s flaws, I did not easily forget Gemma’s praise for him. He might be my only hope of finding Claire. I needed him here for this news as much as I needed him searching on the grounds.

  Standing up, Elias threw his hands on the table. “Is this a question of my family’s loyalty? Vanessa might be naive, but she’s as loyal as Bellona and I. This is absurd! Jhase, what’s the meaning of this?” He pointed at Jhase and narrowed his eyes.

  His own daughter’s betrayal sent him spiraling into rage. Was this how he acted after Ivan’s reign? I slowly understood what Jhase meant when he said Elias had a ‘history’. A married man with a temper, bastard children, and a mistress was not the ideal candidate to lead people.