Nightingale: A Reed Security Romance

by Giulia Lagomarsino

  “So, I’m guessing all that bullshit about Reid was to taunt me.”

  I snorted. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “You wanted the fight, and you knew I would give it to you.”

  “Not much of a fight, was it?”

  His eyes narrowed in on me and he crossed his arms over his chest. “I think that was the point. You just wanted to forget, feel something else, right?”

  I didn’t say anything. It hadn’t started out that way. It was all a mistake to say anything, but once I knew what was coming, yeah, it felt fucking good.

  He sighed and sat down in the chair beside me. “Having your friends beat the shit out of you isn’t the way to deal with this. It’s not going to make you forget and it’s not going to fix things with Florrie.”

  Again, I just sat there, staring off at the wall. There was nothing left to say.

  “Look, you’re off work for another three weeks. Derek and Hunter are gonna be pissed at you, but that’s the way this is now. Stay the fuck home and get better. I’m fucking serious, if I see you in the training center, I’ll drag you out of there myself, and then I’ll leave you in Florrie’s hands. Am I clear?”

  “Yeah.”

  I hoped that Cap would leave after that, but he stayed right the fuck beside me the rest of the day, working from his computer and glancing at me occasionally. I wanted to be left alone, but this was Cap, and he was worried about me. There was no getting rid of him now. The only thing I could hope for was that when I got out of here, that would be the end of his hovering.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

  Florrie

  I had hoped to be gone when Alec was released from the hospital. I had my bag flung over my shoulder and I was heading out the door, but Maggie was standing on the other side of the door, all three newborns with her. I wasn’t sure what she thought she was doing, but she shoved one of them at me and then helped herself into my house. I stood there with the little munchkin in my hands, trying my best to keep up my kickass demeanor. But the baby was cute, and just a little snuggle wouldn’t hurt. I shut the door and headed back for the living room.

  “So, which one am I holding?”

  “Um…” She quirked her lips to the side and examined all of them. “That one is definitely Lily. Or Julia.”

  “Well, I figured it was one of the girls. You know, pink hat and all.”

  “Right, well, they’re both about the same size, so it’s kind of a toss up most days.”

  I stared at her for a moment, not sure what to say about that. “You…you don’t know which one this is?”

  She shrugged. “Well, I can tell by birthmarks, but when they’re dressed, your guess is as good as mine.”

  I stared down at the beautiful little girl and smiled. It made me sad that I would never have this, but I had resigned myself to the fact long ago. It just wasn’t in the cards for me. That’s why my heart had overflowed when I met Reid. He completed our family, but now that was all gone.

  “You know, it doesn’t have to be over,” Maggie said, juggling one of the babies in her arms. “I know you think that with Reid being gone, everything’s different now. But it’s not. You still have Alec and you could still have a family.”

  “Would it be so easy for you to replace one of your kids?” I snapped.

  “That’s not what I’m saying and you know it. Maybe you’ll get Reid back, maybe you won’t. But one thing is for sure, if you keep pushing Alec away, you will lose him and he won’t walk back through that door. There’s only so much shit one man can take. Trust me, I’ve been there and it’s not easy to win back that trust once it’s been broken.”

  “He broke my trust, not the other way around.”

  “You know, there’s never just one person to blame when things go wrong in a relationship. One person can’t be wholly bad. Now, I’m not saying that I’m taking sides, I’m just pointing out that we all have our flaws. But you can work through those issues with Alec. You just have to want things to get better with him.”

  “And if I don’t?”

  “Then be very clear with him about what you want. But be sure, Florrie. Once you say those words, you can’t take them back.”

  I stared down at the baby in my arms and whispered my fears that were tearing me up inside. “I don’t know if I can forgive him for taking Reid away from me. I love Alec so much, but I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to look at him the same anymore. He went from being the one person I felt I could always count on to being someone I hate. And I’m afraid that even if I do forgive him, all I’ll ever see is his betrayal.”

  Maggie glanced out the window and then back to me. “Well, now’s your chance to talk to him. You’re not going to figure out what to do if you don’t talk things out with him.”

  She gathered up all the babies, tucking them back into the stroller, and headed for the door. She flung the door open and smiled big at Alec.

  “Well, imagine seeing you here.”

  “Maggie,” he smiled. “Why am I not surprised that you’re here?”

  “Well, someone had to make sure that she was here when you got released. Sebastian! Come help me with the kids.”

  Cap shot me a grin as he walked in and helped Maggie gather up all the stuff she had brought over for her very short visit. Obviously, the two of them had planned this out to make sure that I didn’t run off without seeing Alec. I watched from a distance as Alec walked over to the couch, slowly lowering himself onto the cushions. When everyone was gone and the silence was all that was left between us, I decided that Maggie was right. I needed to talk to Alec about this. But we couldn’t just rehash all the shit that we’d already said. That wouldn’t help at this point.

  “So, Cap texted me to let me know that you told him about Reid and Caitlin.”

  He shrugged and rested his head back against the back of the couch. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

  I cleared my throat and decided to take the first step. “So, I think we need to talk about where we go from here.”

  He opened his eyes and glanced at me warily. “And where is that?”

  “I don’t know. I’m still really angry and I can’t just forget what you did, but I can’t live in the same house as you and just pretend that you don’t exist.”

  “Do you want me to leave?”

  “Maybe,” I said quietly. “I don’t know.”

  “Let me ask you this, would it make you feel better if I left?”

  The thought of him leaving hurt just as much as him staying. “Maybe you could stay, but…but stay in a different room.”

  He nodded and leaned forward slightly. “I’ll agree to stay, but I have one request.”

  “What’s that?”

  “No more cold cocking me with your gun.”

  I huffed out a laugh, not expecting him to say that. For just a moment, things were normal between us. For just a moment, I could see our future and what we could still have. But then the darkness crept back in and the moment passed. Alec’s smile slipped from his face and everything shifted back to the anger and hatred. I could tell he was grasping to get me back when he slipped his hand into mine, but I couldn’t deal with it yet. I couldn’t have him acting like we could make this right with just a laugh.

  I stood and grabbed my bag off the floor. “Well, I have to go get a workout in. I’ll be back later.”

  I walked out the door without looking back. I wasn’t sure that I could do this with him, but I had just taken the first step in the direction of healing. That was as much as I could give right now.

  ✯✯✯✯✯

  “Hey!” Craig shouted as he walked through the front door. “You ready?”

  I came running down the stairs, bag slung over my shoulder. I was running late. I had gotten caught in the hallway in a staring contest with Alec. Well, it wasn’t so much a staring contest as a very awkward attempt at conversation. It had been two weeks of me avoiding him whenever I was home. He knew what I was doing, but he
didn’t push me. He talked to me when I was in the room, and even if I didn’t answer, he would continue to try and reach me. It was uncomfortable at the best of times.

  “I’m coming, I’m coming.”

  “Yeah, you said that twenty minutes ago.”

  “Sorry, I was…dealing with something.”

  “She’s talking about me,” Alec said as he walked down the stairs. He looked a lot better than he did when he was in the hospital two weeks ago. He had been doing what Cap ordered and stayed home. He hated every minute of it, especially when everyone else was so busy. I knew that Derek stopped by frequently to keep him company, but Hunter was still avoiding him like the plague.

  “Hey,” Craig said, giving a nod to Alec. “You look better.”

  “Yeah, well, sitting on my ass all day will do that.”

  They stood there for a moment, just staring at each other. God, this was so awkward. “Anyway, we should get going.”

  “Where are you guys headed?” Alec asked.

  “On a job,” I answered sarcastically.

  “Yeah, I figured that.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and tried again. “It’d just be nice to know where you’re headed. You know how paranoid I am.”

  “It’s funny how you only seem to care when it suits you,” I snapped. “First you left our team and then you sent Reid away. But now you care about what’s going on with me? Do me a favor and stay out of my fucking business.”

  His face dropped slightly, but he recovered, not letting on how much I was hurting him. It was like I couldn’t help myself. Every time that he opened his mouth, I just wanted to wound him in any way I could. I didn’t know how else to protect myself from him.

  He took a step back, running his hand over the back of his neck. “Be safe out there.” He turned and walked away, making me feel like an absolute bitch. I couldn’t think about that now. I followed Craig out the door and got in the SUV where Rocco was already waiting.

  “That was harsh,” Craig huffed. “I mean, I knew that the two of you were still on rocky ground, but I didn’t know it was that bad.”

  “Why was that harsh? Was I wrong?”

  “What’d you say?” Rocco asked, looking into the rearview mirror at me.

  “Nothing that wasn’t true,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest.

  “Florrie, you know I’m on your side, but it’s been weeks. You have to work shit out at some point.”

  “Really?” I snapped at Craig. “And how do I do that?”

  He turned around in his seat, his stare intense. “It’s not going to be easy, but that was fucking brutal. You practically tore the guy’s heart out right in front of me. The last time I saw him looking like that was when he walked away from you. Are you really gonna let it get that far?”

  “Why don’t you mind your own business?”

  “Yeah,” he snorted. “Because this is all about you. Like I didn’t go against half of my friends to side with you. He’s my friend too, and as much as I’m with you on this, I won’t stand by and watch you shit all over him instead of working things out with him.”

  “Who says there’s anything to work out?”

  “You know, you’re gonna push him too far one day and then he’s gonna be gone.”

  “Maybe that’s my goal,” I snapped.

  “I don’t believe that for a second. I think you’re hurting and you want him to hurt just as much as you, but if you keep pushing, you’re gonna find that he’s not the only one that you lose.”

  He turned back around and stared out the window.

  Rocco tapped his fingers on the steering wheel, taking us out of the compound as we headed out for our next job. “So, is it always this fun on your team?”

  CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

  Alec

  I sighed as I stared into my beer at the local bar. Florrie had been gone for less than two hours and I felt like my whole world was falling apart. I couldn’t see how to work this out with her. I had known that she would hate me, I just didn’t realize how much it would kill me inside. Day in and day out, I felt like my heart was being put through the shredder. I couldn’t reach her. I tried every fucking day, but every time I thought I was making progress with her, something inside her snapped and she found a way to shove the knife between my ribs.

  “Is this seat taken?”

  I shook my head at the woman that stood beside me. She slipped onto the stool and ordered a beer. She was pretty enough. Dark brown hair that hung in waves over her shoulders. She was fit enough, but not like Florrie. And she had a kind face, nothing hard at all like Florrie. Yeah, she was probably great for someone else, but all I could see was what she was missing that I loved about Florrie. There was just no comparison.

  “So, I’m not trying to bother you, but I’m new to town. Is there anything fun to do around here?”

  I snorted, thinking about how I wouldn’t know her kind of fun if it slapped me in the face. “Do you like blowing shit up?”

  “Um…I’m not really sure what that means.”

  “Nevermind. So, what brought you to town?”

  “Escaping a man,” she said, crinkling her nose. “He was kind of an asshole.”

  “Abusive?”

  “Cheater,” she grimaced. “Yeah, I made the mistake of marrying the bastard. Then two weeks later, after our really expensive honeymoon, that I paid for, I found him fucking his secretary.”

  I huffed out a laugh. “So cliché.”

  “I know,” she sighed. “I should have seen it coming. I mean, there were a lot of late nights, and I believed his lies. His job doesn’t require late nights.”

  “What does he do?”

  “Banker.”

  I eyed her suspiciously. No woman could be that stupid. Why the fuck would a banker have to work late at night?

  “I know. Don’t look at me like that. I guess I didn’t want to see it.”

  I laughed to myself because it was fucking funny. “Don’t we all refuse to see what’s staring us right in the fucking face.”

  “Cheater?”

  “Nope. Let’s say a difference of opinion that turned into a huge clusterfuck.”

  “It sounds like you’re really skimming over a lot of stuff.”

  “You could say that.”

  “So, how does it all end?”

  “I wish I knew that.”

  We sat in silence as I finished up my beer. When I stood and tossed down some money, I turned to her one last time. “Well, I hope you find something to do around here.”

  “Me too. And I hope whatever it is works out.”

  I nodded and headed for the door. I didn’t belong in a bar drinking away my sorrows. I wasn’t allowed back in the training center yet. Hell, I didn’t feel like there was a single fucking place that I belonged right now.

  I walked out to my truck and drove back to Reed Security. When I got home, Derek and Hunter were waiting for me.

  “It’s about fucking time you got back,” Hunter spat.

  “Sorry, was I keeping you from something?” I asked sarcastically. “It’s not like I can actually do anything yet.”

  I slammed the door of my truck and headed for my front door. Hunter and Derek followed me inside, not bothering to ask if I wanted the fucking company.

  “Is there a reason you’re here?”

  “Yeah, Craig called us. He said that you took quite the beating from Florrie when they were leaving.”

  “So, you thought you’d check up on me. I’m touched. Really, I had no idea that you guys cared so much.”

  “I don’t,” Hunter snapped. Derek shot him a glare and he shrugged. “What? I don’t. The asshole deserves it.”

  “I’m well aware of the fact that you think what I did was wrong, but I stand by my decision. Like it or not, Reid is back with his family where he belongs. And even though my heart is fucking breaking, I’m so glad that he has the chance to be with family and doesn’t feel like he was never wanted. So, if you think I’m an asshole, turn
around and walk out the fucking door, because I don’t need people in my life that are just gonna shit all over me.”

  I turned and headed for the kitchen for a beer. When I returned, they were both still here, sitting on my fucking couch like they weren’t leaving anytime soon.

  “The whole point of that little speech was so that you wouldn’t be here when I got back.”

  Hunter shrugged. “I may not agree with what you did, but I respect the fact that you made a decision and you stand by it. You obviously feel very strongly about this, and I’m not that much of an asshole that I’ll hold it against you forever. Besides, we start work next week. We can’t exactly go out on a job if you’re not here.”

  “So, what you’re really saying is that you’re willing to look past my decisions because you want to go out on a job.”

  He shrugged. “I may or may not have pissed Lucy off this week.”

  Derek snorted. “When do you not piss Lucy off?”

  “I really fucked up this time. I’m not sure how to fix this.”

  “What happened?”

  “What didn’t happen,” he huffed. “It all started with her asking me to change Colt. So, I changed his diaper, but it was a massive blowout. I mean, it was up his back and dripping all over the place, and I’m not touching that shit, ya know? So, anyway, I took the wipes, a good ten to twenty and just covered all that shit up. Then I grabbed a few more and started in on getting it all cleaned up. So, she comes in and sees this garbage bag of wipes, and she just lays into me. Apparently, using more than three wipes on my kid’s ass is too much.”

  “Is there an actual number you’re supposed to use?” I asked. Hell, I wasn’t versed in cleaning up kids. I had no clue how this shit went.

  “Well, according to her, I’m not allowed to use a whole package of wipes on one diaper change. And then, to make matters even worse, it was the last package of wipes. So, I told her it was fine, that I could just run out and grab some more. But she went into this big tirade about how I couldn’t do it because I would get the wrong brand and buy too much other shit. And now she was going to have to shower and get ready to go to the store. Shit, you’d think she was getting ready for a fucking beauty pageant or something.”