by Chris Colfer
“The navy sailors aren’t the bad guys in this story,” he said. “The bad guys are way scarier. They’re based on people I’ve seen in nightmares. But we’ll be long gone before they show up… I hope.”
Eventually, the sailors surrendered and the pirates rounded them up in the center of the Royal Tantrum’s lower deck. Auburn Sally pushed Admiral Jacobson off the upper deck, and his men caught him. The pirates raised their weapons in celebration—they had won the battle!
“You’ve lost, Admiral,” Auburn Sally said. “The British Navy is going to be so disappointed.”
“Sometimes a man fails in order to win,” the admiral said with a smirk.
The navy sailors were stripped of their weapons, and their hands were tied behind their backs. The pirates placed a plank between ships and forced the sailors to cross it and board the Dolly Llama. Once everyone aboard the Royal Tantrum had been taken prisoner, the pirates blasted the navy ship with cannonballs until it sank.
“Put the prisoners in the cells belowdecks,” Auburn Sally ordered, and glanced at the twins. “And I mean all the prisoners.”
The pirates untied the twins and pushed them along with the sailors.
“Oh no,” Conner said. “The bad guys are going to show up soon! I’ve got to convince Auburn Sally I’m the author of this story before they get here!”
“I’m willing to help you if it speeds things up,” Alex said with a sigh.
“Well, I’m not willing to accept your help yet,” he said. “I told you I can take care of this on my own!”
Conner managed to push past the pirates manhandling him and his sister. He dashed across the deck, but just before he was in reach of Auburn Sally, he was tripped by Somersault Sydney and tackled by Catfish Kate and High-Tide Tabitha.
“Captain, don’t lock us up!” he pleaded from underneath the pirates. “I’m warning you! Something really bad is about to happen, but you can avoid it if you just listen to me!”
Auburn Sally laughed at his warning. “Take him away,” she said, and turned her back on him.
The pirates forced Conner to his feet and dragged him away, but he wasn’t ready to give up.
“I know what you stole from SMOKY-SAILS SAM!” Conner yelled.
The entire ship suddenly froze as if he’d shouted something obscene. Alex could tell that all the pirates and sailors knew who her brother was talking about. Just the mention of the name Smoky-Sails Sam sent a collective chill down their spines.
Auburn Sally turned back to Conner with large, fearful eyes. He continued his warning, desperate for her to listen to him.
“He knows what you stole from him, too—he knows about everything that happened on the island!” Conner said. “Smoky-Sails Sam is looking for you and your crew right now! He’s going to see the smoke from this battle and be here before sunrise tomorrow!”
Conner knew that if anything would get through to her this would be it. The captain looked him up and down but didn’t say a word.
“Your orders, Captain?” Catfish Kate asked.
Auburn Sally put on a brave face for her crew. “Throw this boy and his sister in the cells with the others,” she said. “If he has tall tales to tell, he can share them with the other prisoners.”
Auburn Sally turned around and faced the ocean. Conner struggled against the pirates, but it was no use. They were too strong to break free from—that’s how he had written them. Conner and Alex were pushed down the steps to the cells belowdecks with the sailors.
“Well, that totally worked,” Alex said. “Are you sure you don’t want my help?”
“Give it a minute,” Conner said. “She’ll come around—she’ll have to.”
The captain looked down at the burning wreckage of the Royal Tantrum, and her eyes followed the trails of smoke ascending into the sky. Once all the sailors and the twins were belowdecks and there were no pirates around to bear witness, she pulled out a necklace she kept hidden in her shirt. Dangling from a golden chain was a bloodred ruby the size of a human heart.
While she refused to believe everything Conner had said, she couldn’t deny that he possessed extraordinary knowledge of her ship and crew. If what he said about Smoky-Sails Sam was even remotely accurate, then the captain’s greatest nightmare was about to come true.
CHAPTER EIGHT
THE WRATH OF SMOKY-SAILS SAM
Things were calm belowdecks on the Dolly Llama. Alex and Conner shared a small cell, while Admiral Jacobson and his men occupied four larger ones. Everyone was silent, not from the embarrassment of defeat, but from the sheer exhaustion of the battle. In all fairness, the sailors didn’t seem disappointed by their loss and sat rather comfortably in the cells. Many were stretched out and gently rocked to sleep by the sway of the ship.
“Don’t worry, men,” Admiral Jacobson said as he paced around his cell. “We will find a way off this vessel and bring the pirates to justice! Those criminals may imprison us now, but soon we shall escape and make the British Navy proud!”
The sailors looked around the cells to see whom the Admiral was talking to, because none of them were too worried or eager to change the situation. After months of strenuous labor operating the Royal Tantrum, imprisonment was a nice change of pace for them.
“Save it, Admiral,” Conner said. “The whole crew knows you’ve got the hots for Auburn Sally. No one is expecting to escape anytime soon.”
The admiral was outraged by his insinuation. “How dare you suggest I welcomed the sinking of my ship or allowed pirates to capture my men!” he said. “I would never betray Britain with affection for a scoundrel like Captain Auburn Sally!”
Conner sighed and shook his head. “Raise your hand if you knew this was going to happen,” he said. “Come on, don’t be shy.”
He raised his hand and Alex quickly followed. One by one, the sailors raised their hands, too, and the admiral was faced with a rude awakening. Despite his efforts to shield it, the heart on his sleeve was just as visible as the badges of honor on his coat.
“You mean, you’ve all known the entire time?” he asked.
The sailors nodded in unison with the twins.
“To be honest, Admiral,” said the first mate, “I don’t think any of us knew you were trying to hide it. We don’t hold it against you, though. The whole reason we joined the navy in the first place was to have an adventure, and there’s never been a dull moment chasing these dames around the sea.”
The admiral wanted to argue further, but the jig was clearly up. Instead of clearing his reputation, he just shrugged and had a seat on the floor.
“Well, I suppose that’s a relief, then,” Jacobson said.
The admiral lost all desire to form an escape plan. He put his feet up on the metal bars and enjoyed the quiet and calm of the cells with the rest of his crew. Conner, on the other hand, was growing more agitated by the second. His mission to locate and recruit his characters was going to be much more difficult now that he had refused his sister’s help.
“So what happens next in this story?” Alex asked with a yawn.
“Auburn Sally is going to invite Admiral Jacobson to dinner in her chambers,” Conner said. “They’ll admit their affection for each other and then Jacobson will convince his sailors to join Auburn Sally’s crew of pirates.”
“Nice,” Alex said. “And you still think ‘Starboardia’ isn’t a love story?”
Conner grunted. “Okay, fine—it’s a love story,” he said. “You’ve identified your brother as a big sap. Are you happy now?”
Alex laughed. “I don’t know why it’s so hard for you to admit it,” she said. “Plenty of men write romances.”
“I never meant to write a romance,” Conner said. “I just thought Jack and Goldilocks had a really cool story. Everyone wants to be a hero, but Jack gave it up to be with the person he loved. He didn’t care what people thought of him—Goldilocks was more important to him than his reputation. It takes courage to face a giant, but it takes a true hero to stand up
to the world. I guess I wanted to celebrate that by putting it into my own story.”
A smile grew on Alex’s face as she listened to her brother. He kept his feelings hidden behind an emotional brick wall, but every so often she managed to knock a hole through it and peek inside.
“You’re not a sap, but you’re definitely a hopeless romantic,” she said. “I think Mrs. Peters was right. You’re going to learn a lot about yourself traveling through these stories.”
Conner didn’t want to agree with her, but he knew she was right. “Oh brother,” he said. “Next thing you know, I’ll be collecting porcelain dolls and listening to polka music.”
The doors opened and Winking Wendy and Somersault Sydney walked in. They rattled the cell bars with their weapons to disturb their captives, but the tranquil sailors didn’t even look up. The pirates unlocked the admiral’s cell and pulled him out by the ponytail.
“Ouch!” Jacobson shouted. “What’s the meaning of this?”
“The captain wants you to join her for dinner,” Winking Wendy said.
The sailors hooted and whistled, making the admiral blush. Winking Wendy flashed them her empty eye socket and they quickly quieted down. The pirates unlocked the door of the twins’ cell next.
“What’s going on?” Conner asked.
“Captain wants you two to join her as well,” Somersault Sydney said.
Conner wasn’t expecting this. Up to this moment, every beat of the story had followed his writing without a hitch. He hoped it meant his warning about Smoky-Sails Sam had caught the captain’s attention.
The pirates escorted the twins and the admiral through the Dolly Llama to the upper deck. They opened a pair of double doors and pushed the twins and the admiral into the captain’s quarters.
Auburn Sally’s private chambers were the most elegant part of the ship. The walls were covered in red wallpaper and gold crown molding. A crystal chandelier hung over a long wooden table set for four. The captain looked like she was deep in thought when they arrived. She sat in the back of her chambers at a desk with several maps of the Caribbean spread across it. She was sitting with one foot up and spun a dagger on the desk like a dreidel. Her hat and coat were hung on a rack beside the desk, exposing her full head of long wavy hair.
“Your guests, Captain,” Winking Wendy said as she presented the twins and the admiral.
“Thank you,” Auburn Sally said. “You may leave us.”
Winking Wendy and Somersault Sydney left the chambers, shutting the double doors behind them. Conner had written the next part of the story as a romantic dinner between the captain and the admiral, but obviously things had changed. As soon as they entered, Auburn Sally fixated on him with an inquisitive, unwavering stare.
“Since you seem to know everything, I imagine there’s no point in pretending the admiral and I are adversaries,” she said.
“Nope,” Conner said. “You guys are in a complicated long-distance relationship.”
“Just for the record,” Alex chimed in, “I think it’s very romantic.”
Conner gave his sister a dirty look—she was never going to let it go. The admiral glanced between the twins and the captain, waiting for someone to fill him in.
“Will someone explain how this lad knows so much about us?” he asked.
“According to him, we’re just characters in a story he’s written,” Auburn Sally said with amusement. “He believes everything in this world is just a figment of his imagination.”
Conner didn’t appreciate the disdainful tone in her voice. The admiral looked at him just like everyone else had after hearing the pronouncement.
“Have I done or said anything to contradict it?” Conner asked. “Because I’m pretty sure I’ve been right about everything so far.”
Auburn Sally glared at him and a challenging look came to her face.
“I have something hidden underneath my shirt,” the captain said. “There are only four people alive who know it exists. Two are in this room, and one is the Queen of England. Guess correctly, and I might take you more seriously.”
Conner knew exactly what she was referring to and didn’t waste a minute to prove it. “You’re wearing a necklace called the Heart of the Caribbean,” he said. “It’s the most prized piece of jewelry in the Western Hemisphere. It was given to Governor Connelly by Queen Anne as a token of her appreciation for governing the small island of Saint Ballena.”
The intensity in Auburn Sally’s face dissolved and her mouth fell open. She and the admiral were completely dumbfounded. The captain pulled on a gold chain around her neck and lifted a large ruby necklace out of her blouse. The ruby was brighter than the crown molding and the chandelier put together.
Conner pointed at the jewel. “That’s what you stole from Smoky-Sails Sam,” he said. “And you’re wrong, by the way. There are five people alive who know it exists, seven including my sister and me. A pirate named Killy Billy saw you steal it. He’s the one who told Smoky-Sails Sam you have it, and now Sam is on his way to take it back.”
Alex was usually really good about filling in the blanks, but the lack of detail was getting frustrating.
“Would you mind sharing with the rest of the class who Smoky-Sails Sam is?” she asked.
Conner hesitated. He knew the story like the back of his hand; it just wasn’t a pleasant one to share.
“Smoky-Sails Sam is the most feared pirate in the Caribbean,” he explained. “He’s so powerful, the British Navy refuses to go anywhere near him. He has a fleet of five ships and hundreds of pirates. His ships burn rows of torches above their sails, leaving trails of smoke through the sky, so the whole Caribbean knows where they’ve been and where they’re headed. They obliterate any ship they encounter, whether it’s a threat or not.”
Alex gulped. This was exactly the kind of villain she was afraid her brother would create.
“He sounds charming,” Alex said. “How did he become so powerful?”
“Smoky-Sails Sam used to be a slave,” Conner said. “He was captured from an African village by slave traders and brought to the Caribbean on a slave ship. However, on the way over, he broke the chains that bound him and led the other slaves in a mutiny. They killed the slave traders and took over the ship. Sam became the new captain, the liberated slaves became his crew, and he renamed the ship the Vengeance.
“Unfortunately, the power went to Sam’s head. His crew wanted to go home, but Sam wanted to continue on and seek more revenge. He sailed the Vengeance to the small island of Saint Ballena and ordered his men to raid it. Governor Connelly sent word to the British Navy that they were under attack, but since the island was so small and valueless, the navy abandoned them. The governor and all the men on Saint Ballena were killed and their families were forced to work as servants.
“Since there was no government or authority on Saint Ballena, criminals from all over the Caribbean sailed there and joined Sam. Soon, he had enough men to form a fleet of pirate ships. They terrorized all the colonies nearby, growing stronger and stronger after every target they hit. The liberated slaves from the Vengeance wanted nothing to do with it, so they stole a ship from Sam’s fleet and headed back to Africa. Sam was so outraged, he sailed after them and sank their ship. The smoky debris from the destruction is how Sam became known as Smoky-Sails Sam, and the whole Caribbean learned of his ruthlessness.
“As time went on, Smoky-Sails Sam had a daughter named Sumire. Governor Connelly’s only child, a girl named Christine, was forced to work as her maid. The young women became very close and loved each other like sisters. Sumire helped Christine plan an escape from Saint Ballena. The Heart of the Caribbean was the only object of Governor Connelly’s that Smoky-Sails Sam did not destroy, so Christine stole it back before she left. It didn’t take long before Smoky-Sails Sam realized it was missing. To save her friend, Sumire took the blame. Rather than showing his only child any mercy, Smoky-Sails Sam made a gruesome example out of her. He cut her throat in front of his entire fleet,
further proving his brutality, and no one ever stole from him again.
“Christine escaped from the island and sold the Heart of the Caribbean to a jewel merchant, but then stole it back the following day. The money she had acquired in the sale was enough to buy her own ship and hire a crew. She named the ship the Dolly Llama, and became known throughout the Caribbean as—”
“Auburn Sally!” Alex said, finishing her brother’s sentence.
“Correct,” Conner said. “When Jacobson became an admiral, his first assignment was to capture the sailing thief Auburn Sally. It was love at first sight, and they’ve been chasing each other around the Caribbean ever since. What the captain doesn’t know is that Killy Billy told Smoky-Sails Sam that he saw her steal the Heart of the Caribbean. Sam’s been following the Dolly Llama through the sea, too, and is getting closer by the minute. Since Sally’s the only person who’s stolen something from him and lived to see another day, he wants to make another gruesome example out of her.”
“Conner, that backstory is so dark! Why would you write something so dreadful?” Alex asked.
“I told you, it was based on a nightmare I had,” he said. “Besides, it’s not like real pirates were any better.”
Conner turned to Auburn Sally and Admiral Jacobson with desperation in his eyes. “Now do you believe I created you?” he asked.
The captain and the admiral were both astonished by Conner’s familiarity with their lives. Whoever he was, wherever he came from, they could no longer deny there was something unique and eerie about him.
“I believe you put pen to paper about all of this, but I’m still not convinced you created this world or the people in it,” Auburn Sally said.
Conner had rolled his eyes so many times, his sockets were getting sore. “So you think I plagiarized it?” he asked.
“Explorers are quick to claim the places they find, but they don’t create the land they raise flags on,” Auburn Sally said. “Perhaps all writers are nothing more than subconscious explorers, sailing across a sea of other worlds, and you’re just the first to discover ours.”