The Montana Cowboy's Heart

by Kaylie Newell

  “After Calvin talked to Nola, he called the ranch. Griffin answered and told him what happened. That we were at the hospital. Calvin hung up before he said anything else, but Griffin got the feeling he was on his way here.”

  Justine rubbed her temples. “Oh, God. Oh no. Now what?”

  “I guess we just wait here to try and intercept him before he sees Cat. Maybe we can get a feeling of what he wants to say.”

  “I wonder if we should tell Cat he’s coming. I just don’t want his heart to get any more broken today.”

  Porter leaned down and kissed her soft lips. Loving the feel of them. And understanding exactly how she felt. He wanted to protect them both.

  When he leaned away again, he cupped her face in his hands. “I know. But what if we tell him, and then Calvin doesn’t show up? The guy doesn’t have a great track record so far.”

  She nodded. “You’re right. I’m just panicking a little.”

  “You’re allowed. I think we’re all allowed to be on edge today.”

  Nurses kept walking past them, looking busy and in charge. A man with a huge bouquet of flowers disappeared into the room next door, and Porter could smell their heavy fragrance from where they stood. All of a sudden, he was bone-tired. His back felt stiff, his legs ached. He guessed the adrenaline from earlier was bound to catch up to him eventually, and he’d barely slept the night before.

  Rolling his head from side to side, he resisted the urge to yawn. “I think I’m gonna grab a cup of coffee. Want one?”

  “I’d love one, actually.”

  He looked up at the clock above the nurse’s station. “They’re probably going to be discharging him soon. Maybe we’ll be gone before Calvin gets here…”

  “Sorry to disappoint you.”

  At the sound of the gravelly voice behind them, they both turned.

  Calvin Roberson stood there with his hands in his pockets, his cowboy hat pulled low over his eyes. The shoulders of his jacket were soaked with rain, and he looked ragged around the edges. Older than when Porter had seen him earlier in the day, if that was possible. But that probably had everything to do with the expression on his face—a mixture of worry and regret. It was as clear as the clouds hanging low in the Montana sky outside. And just as dark.

  Porter had been pissed at him earlier. In fact, it had taken all his strength not to wring the guy’s neck at the livestock auction. But standing here now, he looked smaller. Not just bull-rider skinny with the legs to match, but small. Beaten down. Even his shoulders were hunched in a way that suggested contrition. And shame.

  Justine moved closer to Porter. Together, he knew they probably looked formidable. Putting out all kinds of parental vibes. Literally guarding the door to Cat’s hospital room.

  Calvin reached up and took off his hat, pinching the brim between his thumb and forefingers. He looked down at his muddy boots for a long moment. His red hair was plastered to his head, a little too shaggy in the back, and brushing the collar of his jacket like a feather. Cat had the same hair. The same freckles. No matter what happened between these two in the future, there was no denying the blood they shared.

  “I know what you probably think of me,” Calvin said.

  They watched him steadily, neither one of them answering. Porter didn’t know about Justine, but he wasn’t in the business of making dads feel better about leaving their kids. It was true that Calvin deserved some credit for showing up here today, but he was a long way from being let off the hook.

  Porter ground his teeth together, waiting.

  “I’d think the same thing,” Calvin continued. “And I don’t expect you to understand, but I was always planning on coming back. When I got on my feet. But a few months led to six, and six months led to a year. And, well…I don’t have to spell it out for you, do I?”

  No, he didn’t.

  “I was seventeen when Cat’s mama got pregnant,” Calvin continued. “Eighteen when he was born. I was a messed-up kid with a really shitty homelife, and I couldn’t get used to the idea of being a dad, when all I knew about dads was that they hit you. Told you how dumb you were, how you’d never amount to nothing…until you started believing it.”

  Porter’s shoulders stiffened. He thought of his own mother. How she and Porter’s father had struggled with the responsibility of parenthood, until eventually, she’d just run away from it all together. And she’d been grown at the time. And definitely hadn’t had an abusive upbringing. Calvin couldn’t say either one of those things.

  It was a simple explanation, but Porter guessed it might be more than Cat had been offered up until now. All in the name of protecting him. He could relate to that, too. For a long time, his father had made excuses for his mom in order to keep the pain at bay. He’d tried his best, but it had only deepened the wound. He wondered if his dad had been honest with him in the beginning, if he would’ve been able to reconcile her abandonment as a kid, instead of continuing to wrestle with it as an adult. He’d never know, of course. But he couldn’t help but go there, anyway.

  “Calvin…” Justine stepped forward, obviously softening. Maybe that was a mistake. Maybe they were the worst kinds of suckers, but Porter didn’t think so. Whatever Calvin Roberson’s intentions were, he felt like they were witnessing a moment of honesty here. Of vulnerability, from a man who probably wasn’t used to dealing in either.

  Calvin held up a hand. “Ma’am, I don’t know you, but I do know you’ve been taking care of my boy, and that’s reason enough to want forgiveness from you. But I’m not expecting it. I just want you to know why. Why I left, why I stayed away. It was never because I didn’t love him. I think it was because I was afraid of loving him too much.”

  Justine was quiet at that.

  “When I saw y’all today,” Calvin said, looking over at Porter, “I was so damn shocked, I didn’t know what to say. I know I was an asshole. I just needed some time. And then I called Nola, and she told me about the cancer…” He swallowed visibly. “Well, I don’t even know what to say to that. She’d have every right never to let me see my kid again.”

  Justine gave him a small smile. “She wouldn’t do that. She’s an amazing person. That doesn’t mean she’d take any crap from you, though. Just so you know.”

  He smiled back. Then looked beyond them into the hospital room where a nurse was checking on Cat.

  He took a deep breath. “I have no idea what’s gonna happen from here. But I can tell you that I want to see my boy. If you’ll allow it.”

  Porter put an arm around Justine. Wanting her to know that he’d support her, however she decided to handle this. It was complicated. And delicate. And would have lasting consequences, no matter what. But he knew she was up for it. She’d fight for Cat now, just like she had from the beginning.

  “You’re his dad,” she said quietly. “Of course we’ll allow it.”

  Calvin stood there clutching his hat. And Porter could see that his hands were trembling. This man rode fifteen-hundred-pound bulls for a living. But apparently, all it took to bring him to his knees was a little boy who didn’t weigh a buck-oh-five soaking wet.

  Porter smiled, feeling his reluctant heart expand a little. “He’ll be happy to see you,” he said. “You two have a lot in common.”

  Justine leaned into his side, and he thought for the thousandth time, how well she fit there. Like a puzzle piece sliding into place.

  Rubbing her arm, he watched Calvin take a deep breath and then step slowly past them, and into the hospital room where his son was waiting.

  Porter looked down at Justine. Her eyes were maybe the deepest blue he’d ever seen. He never would’ve thought that hospital lighting could make someone look so pretty, but lately he’d been experiencing a lot of firsts.

  It was fitting, really. Finding the beauty where there shouldn’t be much. But that’s what Justine had brought to his life. Beauty and hope. Possibilities in what had been a sea of doubt.

  From inside the hospital room, there was a surpr
ised gasp. And then a long, meaningful pause.

  “Hi, Dad.”

  “Hey there, son.”

  Epilogue

  Justine pulled up to the ranch house and came to a stop behind her dad’s truck.

  The sun had finally come out, just in time for Thanksgiving dinner, and as she turned off the engine, she looked around at all the cars in the driveway. It would be a big gathering, but Diamond in the Rough was used to those. Her sister and EJ, her dad and Nancy, Nola, Daisy and Brooks, Griffin and Rae, Eddie and his new girlfriend (a very nice lady named Jill, who wasn’t swayed at all by his fame), and of course, his guitar for after dinner entertainment… Plus, the ranch hands and a few other friends who hadn’t had any family to spend the holiday with.

  Justine gazed up at the porch where Daisy had arranged pumpkins and dried corn stalks by the front door. She took a deep breath, feeling emotional. Gratitude for a whole family. Peace. Love in all its intricate layers, blanketing her heart. It would be a full house. The only person who’d declined an invitation for dinner was Calvin, but he’d promised to be there for dessert. He was still getting used to big family functions, but he was trying. Last year he’d only shown up for coffee. Dessert was progress.

  Unbuckling, she turned at the whimpering in the back seat. There in a small crate, was a scruffy black puppy. The shelter staff hadn’t been able to tell her what breed he was—most likely too many to count.

  He pawed the wire and looked at her through liquid brown eyes.

  “Aww, I know sweetheart. You’ve been such a good boy. Your life is about to change forever, I promise.”

  The puppy wagged his stubby tail. In fact, his whole bottom wiggled at the sound of her voice.

  She laughed. “If anyone would’ve told me that I’d end up with a dog and a Cat, I would’ve said they were reaching. But here we are, right?”

  The puppy gave one joyous yip, right as the front door opened. Right on time…

  Porter stepped out with his hands planted on the boy’s shoulders in front of him. Cat was getting so tall. He’d shot up over the summer but hadn’t started filling out yet, so he was as skinny as his dad. There was a red bandanna over his eyes, a blindfold that was supposed to keep him from peeking until they were ready.

  Grinning, she waved at Porter. She loved surprises. And this was a whopper.

  She climbed out of the car and opened the back door, hoping the puppy wouldn’t bark again. Then she pulled the crate out and readjusted it underneath her arm. The little dog immediately busied himself with licking her fingers through the wire.

  Porter cleared his throat. “I wonder where Justine could be?” he asked in a loud exaggerated voice. “She must’ve had to…do something,” he finished lamely.

  She laughed, and there went her cover. But she couldn’t help it. It was so cheesy, so utterly dad-like, that her entire body hummed with love for him. He was going to be an amazing father. She knew he’d be there when his children fell. He’d kiss their skinned knees and help them right back up again. He would make sure they felt loved and safe, and never, ever alone in this world.

  She knew this, because he made her feel like that on a daily basis.

  Shifting the crate against her slightly swollen belly, she headed toward the front porch. A cold breeze blew against her cheeks, making them tingle. Her hair was up today, and a few loose strands blew over her face.

  She climbed the steps toward Porter and Cat, her little family that had materialized over this last year. An unexpected gift which she gave thanks for every day. But especially today, a holiday that she’d come to believe had brought them together.

  Slowly, she came to a stop in front of her guys, with the puppy still working at her fingers through the wire. Sometimes she couldn’t believe how lucky she was. How she’d managed this life. This Montana dream come true. But she’d also learned not to question it anymore. She deserved this. She deserved happiness. But most of all, she deserved love.

  Porter gazed down at her, giving Cat’s shoulders a squeeze. His gold wedding band winked in the late-afternoon sun. A reminder that he was hers, and she was his. Always.

  “What the heck?” Cat said, his voice cracking. It did that lately. It made his freckled cheeks blaze with color, but Justine thought it was the sweetest thing she’d ever heard. It meant he was growing. He was thriving. Here in Marietta with her and Porter, where he was going to stay until college. He’d changed his mind about the bull riding for now. Something Calvin had helped convince him of. It wasn’t an easy life. And he wanted more for his son.

  “Can I take this off now?” Cat smiled. “Justine, I know it’s you.”

  She nodded at Porter, barely able to contain herself.

  “Okay, Champ,” Porter said. “One, two…three.”

  He lifted the bandanna off, and Cat blinked into the sunlight. When he saw the puppy, his mouth fell open.

  “We wanted it to be a surprise,” Justine said. “You and Clifford can show him the ropes.”

  “He’s mine? My own dog?”

  “Your very own,” Porter said.

  Justine set the crate down and bent to open it. The puppy bounded out in a blur of black fur and launched himself directly into Cat’s arms.

  Laughing, the boy scooped him up. “Thank you! Thank you so much!”

  “Hey,” Porter said. “You’ve earned it. Straight As? I mean, come on.”

  It was obvious Cat only heard half of that. The puppy was squirming in his arms and bathing his face in kisses. This baby of his would be a full-time job. A job that Justine thought everyone should have at least once in their life.

  She moved into Porter’s side as they watched the boy carry the dog down the steps and plop him down in the yard. They began chasing each other around, with Cat’s laughter echoing through the air.

  The door opened behind them, and she looked over her shoulder to see Brooks step out onto the porch. Followed by Griffin, who was holding a beer. Both men were watching Cat and the puppy, smiling that signature Cole smile. Rugged but warm, sensitive and knowing. Eddie had it, too. Justine adored that smile.

  “I see Elvira’s got a new archenemy,” Brooks said, slapping Porter on the back. “That puppy better get used to cat claws in his ass.”

  Porter laughed. “She’d better learn to run faster.”

  “Justine,” Griffin said, “Rae just opened the wine, but she brought you some sparkling cider. Want a glass?”

  “Oh, that sounds good. Thank you.”

  “I’ll go get it. Come on, Brooks. You can help with the wine.”

  Brooks nodded amiably and followed him back inside. The three brothers were always ribbing each other, but when it came right down to it, they worked together seamlessly. Whether it was serving Thanksgiving dinner to a houseful of hungry guests or running a working dude ranch with grit to spare, it was something to behold. A family affair. And now, Justine was a part of that family—a fact that filled her with a quiet, immeasurable joy.

  Porter wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close.

  “Well, Cat seems pretty happy, don’t you think?”

  “I think he seems as happy as I feel,” she said softly.

  He kissed the top of her head as the sun continued its slow, golden descent toward the mountains in the distance. It would be dark in a few hours, and the country stars would sparkle overhead. The turkey and fixings would be put away, and the pies and coffee would come out, and they’d welcome their very last guest through the doors of the ranch house that she’d come to love so much.

  She looked up at Porter just as he rested a big hand on her belly. Where their baby was curled, warm and safe, and loved beyond measure.

  “Ready for dinner?” he asked.

  She could smell the food from where they stood, and her mouth watered. Beside them in the yard, the puppy growled and tugged on the leg of Cat’s jeans. Justine closed her eyes for a minute, soaking it all in. Not wanting to forget a single minute of this day. Not wanting
to take any of it for granted.

  Before she could open them again, she felt Porter’s lips on hers.

  And her heart was full.

  The End

  Want more? Check out Brooks and Daisy’s story in Montana Rancher’s Kiss!

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  If you enjoyed The Montana Cowboy’s Heart, you’ll love the other books in….

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