A Rag Doll's Guide to Here and There

by Richard Roberts

  Why, these were glasses, weren’t they? They were far too big for me, and were better sized for Sandy. She’d given me her glasses, with these wonderful thick brown frames? No, that was an undue assumption. More likely she had just let me borrow them. Should I ask? Absolutely not. I would enjoy the crystal clarity of the world as long as I could, and how long would be Sandy’s decision.

  Sandy decided. “Here, let me.” She reached down with both hands, one of them still holding the needle and thread. Down? Ah, I was lying propped up in her lap! She was so huge, it might as well have been a bed. I didn’t think Jack was taller.

  The needle touched my fabric right between the eyes, and stopped. Sandy’s eyebrows pressed together, and she asked, “Is it okay if I sew them on?”

  “It’s more than okay,” I promised.

  It did sting something fierce as the needle went in and out, and then she went around to either side and sewed the ear wires onto my cheeks, but it was a wonderful pain. I could cry with joy, but I didn’t know if my damaged right eye could take it, and my left…

  I slipped my left hand under the rim of the glasses, and felt my new left eye. Round and hard, thick and flat. My new eye was a button, which explained the X. I was wearing someone else’s eye. Hey, my left forearm was plaid flannel! The source seemed obvious. Jack’s sleeve had been cut short, and my body had no doubt needed patching. Where did my new eye come from?

  I looked around, and shoved my hands against my mouth, wishing I had the kind of mouth that opens and I could bite them.

  The Endless Picnic was a ruin. The plates and glasses were smashed. The food had been stamped into blobs of goo. The blanket had a big hole in it, because everything that would burn had been piled in the center and turned into a bonfire.

  That included all of my friends.

  There was no chance they hadn’t been burned. Those shiny curls were the remains of Copperlocks’ hair, and that round, charred shape at the edge of the fire had definitely been her head. Up near the top, where the fire still hadn’t died down into embers, Lieutenant Noble…

  I couldn’t look. Oh, Noble. I’d never had the nerve to say how I felt. You’d been so responsible and handsome. At least I’d died first, and hadn’t had to watch.

  I’d been ripped apart right after Grumpy Gus. Gus’s head had fallen out of the fire, with only about half of it burnt. Now I would never find out what kind of animal he was. Inexplicably, the question haunted me. He was even less identifiable now that his button eye had come off the remaining half of his face.

  Grumpy Gus’s head had been about the size of mine. Longer, of course. I reached up again and patted my new eye. I would carry part of Grumpy Gus with me, from now on. Literally.

  There were other bits. I didn’t want to look at them. An inventory of death would only make me feel worse.

  I was crying, now. Gus’s eye wouldn’t shed tears, but even cracked my old plastic eye would. More tears fell on my face.

  Sandy didn’t sob, but tears dripped from her cheeks. She bowed her head until her blonde hair fell all around my face. “I’m sorry. I get whisked away to an enchanted land, and it’s burning down.”

  I couldn’t see Jack with Sandy’s face right above me and her hair all around, but I could hear him speak up. “Weren’t your fault, Lady Miss Ma’am. Why, just the opposite. We’re as lucky as can be that you came by just when we need saving. Nobody else could have saved poor Heartfelt, and with the Picnic gone, I’d surely starve if you weren’t here to fix things.”

  Sandy sat up suddenly. “What?”

  I sat up, too. Yes, I could do that. The seams on my left shoulder felt tight, but they held just fine when I pushed myself up. I gave Sandy a very firm nod. “Jack is entirely correct. He may be a bit of a woodenhead—” Lumber Jack knocked on the side of his head, and the log thumped nice and solid. “—but he’s all sense. While it is questionable to refer to me as lucky, given the extremely bad luck that just befell me, you yourself are the luckiest thing that’s ever happened to me. Only a human would have had the courage and wisdom to sew me back together.”

  Sandy stared at me, mouth open. “You think I can save you just because I’m human?”

  I pushed my new glasses snugly against my face. Not that they could slip, but it felt right, a wonderful reminder for both of us of what she’d done for me. “Of course. We obviously can’t save ourselves. Jack is as dumb as a stump, and I’m full of fluff.”

  She still looked shocked, but a bit of hope peeked through in her expression. “I guess I saved you, but I don’t know how to feed a man made of wood. I don’t even know what he eats!”

  I looked around slowly, trying to avoid staring too hard at anything that might once have been anyone. “He particularly likes cake, as I recall, and we always gave him a nice, big basket of food from the Picnic. That is no longer an option.” I scratched the side of my head between my hat and the earpiece of my glasses. “I would guess that only a couple of hours have passed since the… disaster. Flops won’t know what happened yet, and should bring our food delivery the day after tomorrow. If you took the delivery, you would be stocked up until Her Highness solves your problem permanently in the course of her heroic adventures.”

  “I’m not a hero or a Highness!” Sandy insisted. She didn’t sound as sure anymore. Even humans could doubt themselves, apparently. Most likely she had just arrived Here from Elsewhere and was still confused, but the truth shines through eventually.

  I would help it shine through faster. I owed her that. Pushing myself up to my feet, I brushed out my dress—which had a lot of new stitching—and tilted my head back to look her right in the eyes. “It’s far too late to dispute your heroism. Only a hero can raise the dead. That is powerful magic.”

  She shook her head slowly, still not wanting to believe. “I just sewed you back together. I didn’t even know for sure it would work.”

  I nodded, and put my hands on my hips for good measure. “Precisely. Only heroes can do that. It’s what humans are for. I’m a complete fluff head, and even I know that.”

  She stared. Her cheeks had turned awfully red. Was this so hard to grasp? From the tightness and the bulging fabric of my repairs, Sandy was clearly no seamstress, yet she had thought to sew me up anyway. Not only thought, but acted.

  I had to shake my head. Humans were amazing. Anyone else would have given up when they couldn’t find all of my body, but she’d stitched me up out of parts.

  Wait. She’d stitched me up out of parts. Oh my, oh golly goodness. What a thought.

  If she’d done it for me, she could do it again, right?

  I couldn’t know. Not really know. It was just an idea. I had to ask the human. “Lady Sandy, there are not enough pieces left to remake any of my friends, but if we could find enough pieces of different clothlings to fill out the missing parts, could you sew the parts together and bring her to life? Even two of us would be enough to be considered a picnic. It might take some time to attract new picnickers and replace our lost tableware, but the Endless Picnic would survive.”

  “I’d be willing to try,” she answered reluctantly. Her resolve quickly hardened. “If I can save anyone else, I have to try. Are there enough pieces?”

  Her question turned hesitant at the end. She had good reason to be doubtful.

  I answered her as she answered me. “If there even might be, I have to try to find them.”

  I pushed myself off of Sandy’s lap, and circled the remains. With a human behind me, I could face the tragedy.

  There was far too little to face. Bits of stuffing lay everywhere, sawdust and fluff both, but the pieces had all been thrown on the fire.

  Well, I had half of Grumpy Gus’s head. I saw Rocking Horse’s deflated muzzle poking out from under a pile of his own sawdust…

  Sandy’s hands closed around me. “I’m not going to—just sit here and let us do this, okay?”

  She picked me up like a cloth doll, which of course I was, and sat me down in the gra
ss facing away from the Picnic.

  Instead of facing the most grisly chore imaginable, I sat looking out over the meadows. Unconcerned with my loss, a fairy fluttered over the grass. Where a few stalks stuck up too high, she chopped them short with her scythe and tied them into a belt for her dress. Seconds later, a big rat leaped out of the grass on top of her, forcing her down onto her back. His claws ripped her dress right off, he kissed her on the nose, and then he scampered off on his hind feet and jumped into a hole. The grass from her dress plugged it neatly, filling up that bare patch—and giving him another hidden exit to hunt her, no doubt.

  Her furious twittering and his squeaky laughter made me smile. I was a complete fluff head. I’d seen these two play this game a hundred times and had never asked their names. Now my life had burned to ashes, but everywhere I looked Here was still sunny and beautiful. Thanks to Sandy, I had a chance to see that.

  As I thought of her, Sandy’s hands picked me up around the middle again. She carried me around the fire to the makeshift she’d put together. She’d scooped out the fire itself, and many of the parts she’d retrieved were black with ash, but hadn’t burned. Gus and Rocking Horse provided enough fabric to make a face, and Threadbare’s mask—still glittering under the ash—provided eyes. It looked like most of Copperlocks’ hair had made it after all. The Teapot Princess’s body had a cloth inner lining, and those china hips fit Noble’s right leg.

  There was more, but I looked back up at Sandy instead. “Your Highness, I cannot thank you enough for the magic you’ve worked here. Now that you’ve given me what I asked for, it is clear that I should never have asked. I’m sure you could bring this person to life, but it seems to me that rather than resurrection, you would be creating someone new, and cursing them to a miserable and awkward body. Do you agree?”

  Behind Sandy, Jack took off his hat and nodded solemnly. “That’s sense.”

  Sandy’s mouth opened, but then she let out a sigh and hung her head in defeat. “Yes.”

  Her face was so close that this time I really could reach up and pat her cheek. “You of all people should be proud and not despairing, Your Highness. You may not have saved the Picnic, but you saved me. Someday, someone will need a complete fluff head who’s only good at gushing about how great things are. I can wait until then.”

  Suddenly, Sandy crushed me against her white sweater, wrapping both arms around me in a fierce hug. Humans were apparently quite strong, and she would have crushed the breath out of me if that were an option! Above me, I heard, “I need you right now. Come with me. An hour ago, I was locked in the school basement with Charity. Now, I don’t know where I am or where she is or why I’m here or what I’m supposed to do.”

  She eased up on the hug enough to let me look up into her questioning face. How she thought I could help, I couldn’t imagine. I shook my head. “Those questions are far beyond a fluff head like me. All I know is gossip. You would have to find a historian, and I can’t even tell you where to find one. You’d have to find a traveler to give you directions, and to do that you’d need to follow the road. The Picnic and Jack’s log pile are quite popular, so you’re certain to find someone.”

  Sandy stared. Her mouth dropped open. “Why do you keep calling yourself a fluff head? That was brilliant!”

  I blinked. Well, winked. A button eye would take getting used to. Then I reached up and patted the glasses sewn onto my face. “Oh, my. The glasses. I should have realized. You brought me back to life, and you gave me your glasses to make me smart, and now you’ve given me a new purpose. Do you really want me to come with you?”

  She sighed with relief, as if I was saving her! “Yes. Yes, please, Heartfelt.”

  I adjusted my glasses. They needed to be straight, because this would be the most serious thing I’d ever said in my life. Not a high bar, admittedly. “Then not only are you a hero, you’re my hero, Sandy, and now I’m your sidekick.”

  I couldn’t tell her how that made me feel, so I leaned up and hugged as much of her neck as I could reach, while she hugged me back and the heart on my chest glowed pink.

  Chapter Four

  “So, I guess we go that way?” Sandy pointed, arm straight out.

  “I don’t believe the other way is an option,” I agreed. Sandy didn’t wait for more. She started walking, and I had to grab my hat and scurry fast to catch up with those first few steps. One of those skinny blue legs was more than twice my height! They really ate up the space, crossing two flagstones in a single step.

  Once I was by her side again, I looked up at Sandy and tried to explain my reasoning. “We’re near the edge of the mists here, and behind us the road ends at the Cloud Steps. I don’t know the details, but travelers came up from this direction to visit the Picnic, so it must go somewhere. All of Somewhere, theoretically!”

  Sandy looked back over her shoulder. The Cloud Steps were still just barely visible back there. Her expression got a little more doubtful. “I came down those steps. There’s a big marble circle at the top, with lots of columns, like a temple. I guess the broken glass statue was a goddess or something?”

  My hat practically rose off my head from excitement! “Oh, my! Is that how you came Here? Is Elsewhere on the other side of the temple?” Then another thought hit me. It was a great feeling, and one I wasn’t used to. “As for the statue, I’m not aware of any gods or goddesses personally, but that doesn’t mean very much. Your description suggests the statue looked human, and if we have any goddesses, they certainly would be human. The shriveners would know. Why, it would explain their pilgrimages to the Cloud Steps. We saw them at the Endless Picnic frequently!”

  Sandy stopped walking. “I’m… sorry about the Picnic.”

  I heard the hoarseness in her voice, and I put my hand on her knee. “If I can forget it, you can.” I was trying very, very hard to forget the ashes of everyone I’d spent my life with. I had a new life now, and a wonderful one, and I had to focus on it. That life included comforting my heroine. “You not only bear no guilt in the matter, you’re my savior!”

  I couldn’t see Sandy’s face. She was looking down, but away from me. “But if I’m a hero, then horrible things will keep happening to give me a villain to stop.”

  I folded one arm over my chest, and waved the other up at her. “No, the process is very clear, and you have it backwards. Evil happens, creating a need for a hero, or usually a heroine. Heroines are human, so one is brought Here from Elsewhere. Food doesn’t cause hunger. Hunger causes one to seek food.”

  There. That got through. She started walking again, and I hurried to catch up. She still sounded haunted, but at least she looked at me as she said, “Sorry. I had a really bad day before I got here.”

  “Our troubles are over. Our adventures lie ahead!” I promised.

  We both looked ahead. The road with its pretty, veiny blue-grey blocks stretched on and on ahead of us through the meadow.

  All of a sudden, a shadow loomed over me. Sandy’s hands grabbed me around the middle, and she hoisted me up off the ground. I found myself tucked into the corner of her elbow and held against her sweater as she picked up the pace. Or maybe she just looked even faster from up here?

  I beamed up at her. “Thank you, Mistress!” When she winced, I corrected, “No, I suppose ‘Mistress’ doesn’t work. I can’t just call you ‘Sandy.’ Perhaps after we’ve had a few adventures together? Well, I’m sure I’ll figure something out.”

  That made her giggle, but then she sighed. “I wish someone could give me a ride. Do you know how long this road is?”

  I shook my head. “I’ve never gone anywhere before, so no. Travelers were very common, almost daily, so I’m certain we’ll meet someone soon. Anyone would be willing to give you a ride, if you asked!”

  We stopped suddenly. Turning, Sandy stretched out her free arm and pointed. “What about that guy?”

  Oh, my! Way out in the distance, a huge stone shape like a boulder with arms and legs walked across the meadow. From
here it looked like it was moving slowly, but I’d been close enough to a stone giant to know how deceptive that impression was. Why, we could hear the thumps every time a foot landed!

  I scratched my cap. “I’m certain he would be willing, if we could communicate the question. I’m equally certain that he can’t hear us from down here. I’ve seen a stone giant up close, and my gosh and golly, are they tall!”

  The stone giant assisted my argument by bending way, way down and plucking the wool off of a sheep, then straightening way, way up and reaching its arm even wayer up to tuck the wool into the fluffy mass of a nearby cloud. From Sandy’s quiet stillness, I believed the point had been conveyed. Stone giants are really extremely tall!

  Her awe did not last. Hitching me up higher against her side, she walked off the side of the road and across the grass to the nearest sheep. I perked up as we approached. After all, I’d spent my whole life in these meadows, but I’d never actually taken a close look at one of the sheep that stood alone, scattered around the vast grassy expanse.

  Sandy bent over to peer at it, and I adjusted my glasses excitedly. It didn’t shy away. It stood there, with a black head so shiny it was hard to spot the eyes, and four thin black legs sticking into the grass out of the huge ball of wool that engulfed its body. Perhaps it couldn’t move, it was so fluffy? Certainly, this one was ripe, or whatever word described a sheep ready to be harvested by a stone giant. Overripe, even.

  Sandy flicked it in the nose twice. Clonk clonk. She gave me a perplexed frown. “I think it’s a fake.”

  Just because it was made of plastic didn’t mean it wasn’t alive, but I waved my arms in front of its eyes and got no response at all. Looking up at Sandy, I shrugged. “I suppose all it has to do is grow wool.”

  Sandy twisted from side to side, peering at the sheep. It did not reward further examination, but of course she might have special human senses. It turned out she was thinking instead. “So, the stone giants take care of these sheep?”