Through Lemons & Peaches

by Shivangi Ruperee

  I had no option other than developing resistance on my own to their comments because despite warnings such people rarely stop. To distract myself in a positive direction I diligently searched for another industry project and found one at another well-known consulting firm. These projects I did, helped me maintain my sanity outside the classroom and inside it was just the amazing faculties & their immense experience which became my oxygen. One day, Arshpreet Oberoi from our placement committee took a bold step and moved out, he was fed up of the corrupt practices and wanted to start a new student club for Business Technology. As soon as the word technology reached my ears, I was mesmerized. It was something I always wanted. People who used to butter up Arshpreet were the ones who now made fun of him as the placecom tag wasn’t on him anymore. The club was being resisted and shammed by the students. I decided to meet Arshpreet as I just couldn’t see a tech initiative fail so miserably. It was the first time we spoke & then came to each other’s rescue. The business technology club was now official with seven core committee members, with me handling the corporate relations. But it wasn’t time to celebrate, we had to attract an audience as soon as possible.

  I thought of all those professionals who could work wonders and just had one name for our debut session. Aman Raghuvanshi! He was now among India’s top CIO’s and as it was my first initiative I wanted to call someone who had inspired me to build a career in IT with a combination of business education. I reached out to him and he agreed. I told Ankit about it and he trusted my intentions. I circulated his bio all around the student networks & marketed it as an unmissable session. A week later, he arrived at our campus & I just couldn’t gather the courage to see him, it was so much easier on the phone. I asked Arshpreet to handle the arrangements & greet him. *Where are you? I am about to start * - texted Aman. I was afraid of him, I was really scared, what if I felt all those strong feelings again? But then I realized, at business school, he was my guest.

  I entered his session late and as we saw each other, he paused for a while, with a fractured arm he was teaching a class of 118 students. He had won over them with his charm. I sat through for a while but then couldn’t stay long without getting glimpses of our past, I went out to arrange his return gift. Our campus always had a set of prepared goody bags for speakers, I got one of them but also had ordered a box of assorted chocolates just in case. I decided to give him both. His session was about to end and a group picture was being clicked, I saw him searching for me as I stood there hiding myself at the back. Chaitra and many other girls went crazy over him but he was his usual self, non-responsive. It was time for me to escort him. “It was so nice meeting you!”, Chaitra came hastily after him. “Thanks! Shivangi, is there a nice cafe nearby?”, we headed outside. I had never seen Chaitra more frustrated than that. “Why didn’t you tell me you were not fine? We could have postponed it”, I asked him while we were in the elevator.” I wanted to come, it’s okay “.

  I took him to a nice cafe nearby and we ordered our favorites. Some of my batchmates had a hint and followed us. I was amused. “So! Did you move on? You are seeing anyone?”, he asked. I was caught by surprise, “Yeah! his name is Ankit, he is in Milan right now”, I replied with a smile. “Really? How could you forget us so easily? You know what? My intention to come here was to see you!”, he lost his temper. I genuinely didn’t expect this reaction from him, I thought he must have moved on, way before I did. “You must have gone out with other girls too! Just in three hours, at least ten girls were drooling over you!”, I wanted to come back at him. “Okay! So, hook me up with one of them, I guess I should go on a date tonight “. “Okay! I will, who did you like?”,” The girl with golden highlights”. I was agitated, “After being with me at least start having some standard “. He smiled. “Okay! let’s not fight, let’s just have coffee “. I was feeling messed up now, was I jealous? I started to call random people to avoid having a conversation with him, meanwhile, he uploaded a picture from his session on social media.

  “So what next? Should we plan…wait a second!”, his eyes were full of excitement. “I am travelling to San Francisco! Wow! Isn’t that cool? This plan was just not getting through, you are really lucky for me Shivangi! Thanks for everything, I’ll have to leave now for Bengaluru immediately & make my arrangements! So excited”, he booked a cab. “Let’s go! shall I drop you anywhere?”, “No, I’ll manage “. “Okay, be careful come from this way, my cab’s here too”, he got a little awkward. It was time to bid adieu. We hugged. “Take care of yourself, enjoy!”, I said. “You too, will text sometime”, he had so much excitement on his face though his eyes told a different story. He left and I was in pieces. Him visiting our campus felt like someone my own had come to meet me. The thing I was scared of, happened again, I was heartbroken. * Hey, I’ll call you in five * - Ankit texted. I contained my emotions and headed home.

  Over the next few days we found out that our debut session was a huge hit, we had 40 members in our club now, although the gossip mill worked day & night to spread fake news, I heard my own club committee member Ravish saying to a placecom member that I was a hype, I could only call those who I had slept with. This rumor went extinct after two weeks when I solely managed the corporate relations for our conclave, inviting 3 CIO’s and 15 Vice Presidents in a week’s time, while examinations were going on. That number was higher than any student in placecom history. Ravish influenced everyone to not elect a President & a Vice President for the club that year, he wanted to promote a “flat hierarchy” which would have been right if he meant it out of his good intention. But the truth was they knew who would have been the President & couldn’t see that happening for a girl in front of them. To be honest, I had become resistant to sexism by then and continued to thrive despite the odds. The success of our conclave was the turning point of my MBA journey. I took up something and finished it till the end to make it one of the most successful events in our business school history. I had found the key to handle misogyny - being the best at your job. Yes, one has to work harder & go an extra mile for it, but once a woman reaches that high, there’s no place for sexism. I guess till MBA colleges have such candidates a woman with real career aspirations has to be her best version.

  I kept improving myself each day ever since I finally regained my confidence after two years on the day of our conclave. I was the happiest with my career graph, I kept taking up industry projects and internships. I even indulged in self-pampering and went to one of the most amazing salons at times. I was enjoying the vibe there one day, just when I looked to my right to find Rajat Chauhan getting a haircut beside me! He was the guy I had obsessed over all through my high school years but today as delighted I was to see him in person, I was equally contented with my own self and minutes later I walked out of the salon, with my head held high, and a red manicure like I usually would do with or without Rajat Chauhan.

  It was January 2019 and it was time for Ankit to return back to Mumbai. I went to receive him at the airport and we had so many stories to tell each other. But I could sense that he was worried, it was his placement season. The next four months went by, with him being constantly tensed about his future, me taking him out to cool new restaurants to take his mind off the stress and having to handle a girl of his batch trying to influence him to believe we didn’t belong together, of course, she had to be from placecom! hitting on him shamelessly in front of me at times. In that very phase we had hit that time of a relationship when people fight to understand each other, but we came back stronger out of it despite external manipulation maybe because we had always maintained honesty.

  Ankit finally got the job he wanted in May 2019, after a prolonged stressful struggle. But post that we were both happy & started going around on city tours, comedy club marathons & hopped between elegant eateries. Maybe we both were compensating for the lost time when he was in Milan and also for the time we would be losing in future as it was my turn to take that leap in just three more months. We both made sure we went out
as much as we could in those three months to make memories which would last with us when we would be away.

  In August 2019, after my exams, I had to fly to Milan from Mumbai via Delhi, had to meet my parents in between. I packed my luggage but unlike Ankit, I had really big check-in bags. Ankit wanted to visit his parents too so we booked our tickets in a way that we could stay together till the terminal. He came to my hostel that day and helped me carry those extra-large bags until we checked them in at the airport. “Let’s get you some currency”, he said. While we were at the money exchange counter, I lost my cool seeing him text random friends. “Hey! I am leaving today! You can talk as much as you want with them once I am not here “. He smiled and kept the phone inside. The truth was that I was still in denial that I was heading to a foreign country for the first time all on my own, it only started to seep in at the terminal when I started to cry. “I knew you weren’t accepting the truth, I saw your face while applying for a visa. I decided that day that I can’t leave you alone there, so I saved my salary & have booked my tickets for Milan for your birthday next month. Go there peacefully, I am coming right behind you. Just be strong and take care until I come and settle things for you”. I hugged him & cried while everyone at the terminal stared at us. *Last Call for Passenger - Shivangi Trivedi *. “Go quickly, so I can come to you soon “. He looked like an angel to me that day as I walked through the jetway, after a while I turned back to see him & he was lost in the crowd. It was time, I had no other option other than being brave to complete my course & discover the realities of life on my own with my family & friends being 6000 kms away in a different continent.

  9

  I had left for Milan from Delhi in a trance. My mom was nervous and had cried, my father, on the other hand, wasn’t looking at me, it reminded me of the time when they had dropped me at the CVIT University hostel. It was an 8-hour flight and the longest I had ever been on, nothing felt different other than that. By the time we landed, I had watched three movies, had been kicked at the back of my seat at least 500 times by a toddler and had spent the last 30 minutes in the flight anxiously waiting for it to touch the ground. As soon as I had put my feet at the Milan International Airport, something came onto me. I felt a tremendous amount of courage & strength. I was beaming and promptly finished all my immigration procedures. But now was the real test, I had to lift my huge check-in bags all on my own. Well as they say! You never know how strong you are unless that becomes the only option. I managed to keep them all on a trolley, buy a new sim card on my way out and felt so accomplished. I headed outside and spotted the placard with my name.

  I had booked a cab way ahead of time with three guys of my batch who had cancelled on me a day before because they had too much luggage! I had freaked out that time, it meant I had to manage my own ride alone at night in a new country. Ankit helped me fix this situation as he knew a few chauffeurs personally, who he had met last year when he was in Milan. Seeing this extremely dignified & decent person, I felt relieved instantly. We loaded my bags at the back of his luxury SUV and I sat beside him at the front. Somehow it felt more in control. We drove through the highway and I kept the navigation on, sometimes making videos of our drive, it felt completely unreal as he took me through all those roads I had researched about, a hundred times before that one airport to apartment drive. I finally reached my home for the next four months, notified my parents & Ankit. It was at a stone’s throw from my university and I had got lucky as it was always in high demand. The owner was waiting from me, he understood English well as he was also an alumna of my university. He gave me a tour of the entire studio apartment and it was swanky! The feel was fascinating as it represented modern Italian architecture in its true essence. But the bigger challenge now was that I had to cook my own meals. After he left, I locked the apartment from inside and after checking four times, freshened up somehow while figuring out how the amenities worked, cooked myself just a plate of tempered rice for dinner, but thank god for the superspeed wi-fi! I had entertainment going.

  My bedroom was gorgeous beyond words, beautiful lamps, dimly lit, alluring art pieces, an extra comfy bed & a huge closet to fill with the amazing couture Milan had always been known for. I felt tired after I finished all the chores & it was sleep time. I tucked myself into the bed and closed my eyes peacefully, just when I heard loud drunk voices. I got up with a jerk and had no idea, from where they were coming. I was alarmed and even went where my owner had posted the list of all the important numbers. But thankfully before calling up anyone I took a brave step to find out more about them, I peeped outside my bedroom window to see that they were just a group of young adults returning back from a party, of course, it was a Saturday! I kicked myself for overthinking and slept off. The next morning, I woke up early as I wanted to go to Milan’s prettiest shopping area. I walked around for a while using maps to reach to the nearest tram station, saw many trams leaving in front of me but was hesitant, where would I find the tickets? What if I couldn’t keep a track of the stations and lose my way in Milan on the very first day? Thirty minutes later I gave up on the idea and just bought some groceries after spending an hour at the nearby store, had to convert Italian to English. I returned back home to find Rosa! she was the housekeeper my owner had told me about & was extremely sweet as she argued with me for a full five minutes because she wanted to iron the bedsheet & I was saying it wasn’t needed but ultimately, I had to give in. I spoke to her for some time using a translator on my phone, we both liked each other. She used to be home from morning till evening 5 pm. I knew I hadn’t explored the city at all and had to seize my nervousness. I prepared my attire for my first day at the university & called it a night.

  Over the next few days, I experienced the ultimate intellectual bliss. The classes were spontaneous, crisp & full of diverse scholars. I slowly became comfortable and enjoyed all the lectures thoroughly. But then it was made mandatory for us to visit a post office, for filing for a stay permit. It was a legal obligation and had to be done. There were numerous foreign students at our university that year and hence the nearby post offices had a long queue. I didn’t want to spend an entire day there and wanted to find a smarter alternative, I navigated my way to another postal office which was 3 kms away. I was enthralled by the beauty of the streets but was also puzzled as I kept walking, the music which played in my headphones was my relief. I reached that place only to find out that I had to buy a stamp from elsewhere and they handed me the directions, but at least there was no waiting. I rushed and finished off the process in a jiffy. I was full of excitement now and had the whole day left in front of me. I had bought a pass from the place I brought the stamp from and finally boarded the tram.

  I was careful as a heron just when I had my jaw dropped. I had reached one of their most elegant shopping areas and there was no brand in the world which didn’t have a presence there. I was jumping like a kitten. I video called my parents & Ankit from there as well, had the world-famous gelato & bought myself a really beautiful birthday dress. I was preparing in my head the list of all those places I would be taking Ankit along when he would be here in just two more weeks. He told me he had a lot of memories of a few cafes from where he used to video call me last year. We wanted to explore all of them together & couldn’t wait. I guess I derived all my endurance from the fact that he was about to be here soon. Days flew by and it was time for him to catch his flight. I was dancing out of excitement and had told many of my new friends about our plan. As I walked towards my home after my class that day, I saw *13 missed calls - 20 texts* from Ankit. I called him back and he didn’t pick up. In a state of panic, I opened his texts - “I couldn’t board the flight, I have lost my grandfather. Will call you later “. It didn’t sink in at all but when he wasn’t there the next day at the time he was supposed to be at my house, I was shattered. I kept myself hidden in my room for the next two days. I didn’t answer Ankit’s calls for a week. I was deeply affected. My mom consoled me a day before my 26th birthday, she
explained that this was an unfortunate event and Ankit was at no fault. I was still grieving but then I pushed myself to be less selfish and realize his pain. I did call to speak with him but still felt miserable, I just couldn’t find a way to handle this shock of managing the rest of the three months myself, I had somehow pushed through this month by constantly telling myself he would be here. *Hey! It’s someone’s birthday tomorrow. Happy birthday in advance* - texted Aman. I replied to his text & it was a wakeup call, I just couldn’t afford to put myself in depression, I was living alone. Rosa was worried that day as well and she wrote on a notepad a message for me in Italian, “I know you miss mama papa, but just in a matter of few days you will be with them again. Enjoy this time, go out, Milan is heaven. They both will be happy only if they see you smiling”, I translated.

  It was my 26th Birthday and I decided to put a smile on my parent’s faces. I wore the new black couture dress that I had bought for this day, my new heels, some glittery eye make-up with a peach lipstick. I already was feeling way better. I headed to my favorite place in Milan to buy myself more of these pretty attires. I was in my shopaholic self that day and bought everything I had my heart on, for lunch I went to a Michelin star restaurant to have their world-famous pasta. The ambience was enchanting and I was beginning to enjoy the day. “Hey! I am sorry to interrupt your afternoon but are you here for the fashion week? an extremely well dressed artistic looking guy asked me. “Hi! No, I am a student”, I answered. “That’s nice! I am a fashion photographer and I think you are made for the camera “. He sensed suspicion in my eyes. “We are having a street shoot, we choose a few people to promote luxury brands and use their clicks for social media marketing. I see your shopping bags, you have it in you “. I still wasn’t convinced & had started to eat quickly. “Ahmed! Let’s go”, a girl called his name. “Oh my God! Are you Bella? I have seen you on so many catalogues!”, I exclaimed. “Yes!”, she smiled. “The shoot is tomorrow at 8 am right here! Come if you are interested”, he smiled as they both left the restaurant. I told my mother and she was excited. I decided to try at least something adventurous while I was in Milan. I went home picked up three outfits, some of my favorite makeup & my prettiest shoes for tomorrow. I was thrilled.