All of the Voices

by Bailey Bradford

  “She really did,” Carlin said as he slathered more ointment on Matt’s back. “Robbie really did a number on you. I had no idea chickens could be so vicious. I’ll feel like a real man next time I sit down and have my favorite chicken dinner.”

  “You only get the real man creds if you kill the chicken yourself,” Matt said. “As for vicious chickens, that little red bastard is a Rhode Island Red. Most of them are regular ol’ chickens, nice enough if you think of chickens that way. But occasionally some of them are aggressive. There’s even been cases where a Rhode Island Red killed a small dog or fox if it invaded the rooster’s territory.”

  Carlin stepped in front of him and shuddered. “Great, so I actually have a killer rooster, that’s what you’re telling me. Wonder why Robbie Red didn’t try to get me too?”

  Matt grinned at his lover. “You’re just too cute. Or maybe the rooster was afraid of getting sued.”

  “More like getting stewed,” Carlin deadpanned.

  Matt groaned and covered his eyes with his hand. “I can’t believe you said that. If I thought you meant it I’d ask when dinner was, if I ate chicken.”

  “You don’t eat chicken?”

  “Nope.” Matt nearly laughed at the disbelieving look Carlin gave him. He slapped a hand over his heart. “I swear. Used to have to help my grandpa with his chickens when I was a kid. I can’t tell you how many times I got pecked or scratched, but I decided back then I didn’t like chickens and haven’t eaten any since.”

  “I guess I can understand that, though I’d probably have gone to the other extreme and eaten as much chicken as I possibly could have.” Carlin looked around Matt’s tiny bathroom. Matt looked as well, trying to see it through Carlin’s eyes. The walls were painted a sunny yellow, the floor tiles were white, and the shower curtain was some yellow, red and orange abstract patterned thing his sister had picked out for him. It was a bathroom, nothing fancy.

  Carlin nodded as if the room met his approval. “You up to giving me a tour of the rest of the place?”

  “Sure. Guess you didn’t see much as you hustled me to the bathroom,” Matt teased. “Not that there’s a lot to see. This place used to belong to my grandpa and grandma. When they passed away they left the house to me and Shelly, my sister. I bought out her share since she didn’t want anything to do with the place.”

  “Was that the grandpa with the chickens?”

  “Yeah, my Mom’s dad.” Matt pointed to his left. “Here’s the living room, and down the hall is my bedroom and another two rooms, one I use as a weight room, the other is a bare bones bedroom.”

  Matt showed Carlin each room, watching the man closely for his reactions. The house had been moderately decorated in a western style by Matt’s grandparents, and Matt hadn’t seen any need to change much more than the paint. He’d also sanded down the hardwood floors and refinished them, bringing out the golden honey color of the wood that’d been dulled by the years.

  Carlin touched the aged wooden frame of one of the larger paintings in Matt’s bedroom. “Who painted this?”

  Matt looked at the painting of the north Texas sunset casting shadows over the mesquite and scrub. “My grandma. Most of the paintings in the house were hers. My grandpa would make the frames out of aged mesquite. It was his favorite wood.”

  “Is that what these beautiful floors are made of?”

  Matt nodded. “Yeah. Grandpa laid each plank himself when he built this house.”

  Carlin looked over the room, humming quietly. Matt hoped Carlin liked it, though why he wanted the man’s approval was beyond him. Other paintings of landscapes hung on the cream colored walls. The bed frame and furniture were all made of mesquite, hand carved by Matt’s grandpa years ago. A braided oval rug in shades of blue lay on the floor beside the bed. The Bird of Paradise quilt Matt’s grandma had made topped the bed like an exquisite adornment, the dark blue background material set off by an intricate design in pastel shades Matt wasn’t sure he could name.

  “You love it here.”

  Matt stopped his perusal of the quilt and faced Carlin. “I do. Not just this house, but McKinton, too. It’s home and I can’t imagine ever living anywhere else.”

  Carlin glanced away for a moment. Matt heard him swallow, a dry clicking sound as his Adam’s apple bobbed. “You know I’m going back to New York soon. Tomorrow I have a meeting with a real estate agent. I made arrangements for Aunt Mary’s funeral after I talked to Sheriff Stenley. Her funeral will be held Thursday at the funeral home since Aunt Mary wasn’t one for religion. After that I have to meet with her attorney, sort out what to do with her assets, then I have to get back to New York.”

  Matt’s eyes burned at the mention of Mrs. Hawkins’ funeral. Being around Carlin tended to ease the grief Matt felt over her death. He’d have thought, before meeting Carlin, the man’s presence would have only emphasized the pain, but that simply wasn’t the case. The little blond had charmed Matt in the hours he’d known him, and Matt was afraid he was going to miss Carlin when he went back to New York.

  But he wouldn’t burden Carlin with such a ridiculous thought. Besides, maybe it was only the sexual attraction between them that Matt would miss. It was too much to try to figure out right now when Carlin was standing only a few feet away. Matt didn’t want to waste any of their time together brooding on his own thoughts. He wanted to get to know Carlin better, and the man had just given Matt an opening to do that.

  Matt gently touched Carlin’s shoulder and waited for the man to look at him. When Carlin did, Matt’s knees went weak at the need in Carlin’s expression.

  “I want you to fuck me,” Carlin rasped, and Matt decided he’d get to know Carlin better in a different way for right now.

  * * * *

  Seeing Matt’s home, the care his grandparents had taken in building it, the paintings framed in the aged mesquite, Matt’s quiet pride in the quaintly decorated house, had only emphasized to Carlin how rooted in McKinton Matt really was. It was only then he realized he’d been entertaining the notion of Matt moving to New York so they could explore the possibility of a relationship between them.

  But it wasn’t to be. Carlin could no more ask Matt to leave behind a place that was so clearly a part of him than Carlin could pack up everything and move to McKinton. All they could have was a few days together before Carlin left, and if that caused Carlin’s chest to feel tight, his heart to ache, there was nothing to be done about it. Matt’s hand tightened briefly on Carlin’s shoulder.

  “Let me shower real quick, I still have your spunk all over my chest.”

  Carlin turned to him and slid his arms around Matt’s hips. He pressed himself tightly against Matt’s bare chest, rubbing his cheek in the thick chest hair flecked with dried cum.

  “I’d rather you didn’t, unless it’s driving you crazy. I like seeing it there.” Carlin buried his nose between Matt’s pecs and inhaled. “And I like smelling me on you, plus I did just doctor your back. I’d have to do it all over again before we could fuck, and I don’t want to wait that long.”

  “Fuck it,” Matt muttered. “If you like it, it can stay, I don’t care.”

  Instead of answering, Carlin pinched one of Matt’s nipples, softly at first, then harder as Matt grunted and pushed his chest out.

  “You like your nipples bitten?” Another one of Carlin’s kinks. He tipped his head back and looked at Matt when he didn’t answer immediately. Matt was frowning down at him.

  “I…I don’t know. No one’s ever messed with them, and I didn’t know it’d feel so good, but—”

  Carlin grinned as he brushed off the flakes of dried semen on Matt’s nipple, then he took the little peak between his teeth and bit lightly while tonguing the tip.

  Matt panted and cupped the back of Carlin’s head. “Fuck, yeah, I like it.”

  “Good,” Carlin murmured then he nipped the turgid bud again as he used one hand to pinch at Matt’s other nipple, mimicking the moves he made with his mouth.

&nb
sp; “Jesus!” Matt arched his back, shoving his chest against Carlin’s face. In return, Carlin bit harder on the nipple he was sucking on, making Matt jerk and let up on the grip he had on Carlin’s head. Carlin drew in a ragged breath now his face wasn’t smooshed against Matt’s pec, then he laved the red swollen flesh with the flat of his tongue as he flicked his thumbnail over the other nipple.

  “Carlin! Stop!” Matt tugged at the back of Carlin’s neck. “I’m gonna come in my pants if you do that again.”

  “As tempting as it is to make you do just that, I’d rather have this”—Carlin dragged his hand down Matt’s chest, over the ridged abs and further down still until he cupped Matt’s erection—“inside me. The sooner the better.”

  Matt let go of him and looked everywhere but at Carlin. “I want to, but…”

  Carlin waited, studying Matt for clues to the man’s sudden discomfort. Was it too soon, or was Matt balking because he felt the act of anal sex would leave him unable to deny that he was gay, or bi? Though he rather thought, given the way Matt had so eagerly sucked and stroked Carlin’s dick earlier, it was a little too late for Matt to be having such doubts now.

  Unable to wait any longer as his mind spun out different scenarios, and unwilling to give Matt any more time to change his mind, Carlin pulled the man to him for a scorching kiss. Matt opened for him instantly, and Carlin licked into his mouth, flicking his tongue over Matt’s.

  Matt groaned and grabbed Carlin’s ass, lifting him off his feet. Carlin wound his legs around Matt’s waist and plundered the man’s willing mouth as he realized whatever held Matt back, it wasn’t worries over his sexuality. Not when Matt was thrusting against him and kneading his cheeks while making the most exquisite sounds as Carlin ground against him.

  Carlin’s eyes really wanted to close, but he wasn’t willing to look away from Matt’s blue gaze. The room spun as Matt turned and carried Carlin to the bed. Their teeth clacked together as Matt dropped onto the bed. Carlin was pinned under the man’s greater weight and it stoked his lust up to new heights.

  He cradled Matt’s face in his hands and licked at Matt’s lips. His pulse raced, arousal sensitizing his skin, and nerve endings throughout his body were pinging, clamoring with the need to feel Matt inside him.

  “Have to get naked,” Carlin said between nips along Matt’s jaw.

  Matt growled and rolled off of him before sitting up. “I’m nervous,” he admitted as he gave Carlin a sideways glance. “I don’t want to do anything wrong, and I want this so badly I’m afraid I’ll hurt you.”

  Carlin melted inside, his raging lust tempered by an emotion he couldn’t bear to examine. He sat up and brushed the backs of his knuckles over Matt’s cheek, enjoying the prickly stubble rasping against his skin.

  “You won’t hurt me,” Carlin assured. “I’ll show you how to make sure of it.”

  Carlin stood and toed off his shoes before stripping off his clothes. He stood and let Matt examine him, noting the way Matt’s breathing sped up and his large hands fisted in his lap.

  “You can touch me, if you want to.”

  “I want to, very much.” Matt stood and removed his pants and underwear, his gaze on Carlin’s groin the entire time. Carlin was used to men looking at him, appreciating his lithe build and toned muscles.

  Matt frowned and looked up at him. “You don’t have any hair. How did I not notice that before?”

  “You were a little busy,” Carlin pointed out, hoping his voice didn’t betray his fear Matt would find his hairless body repulsive. “I’m not a very hairy guy to begin with, so I have what little I do have waxed off. It… I’m very tactile, and love the way being like this makes everything that touches my skin feel like so much…” Carlin stopped then shrugged. “It just seems to make me more sensitive to touch.”

  Matt arched his eyebrows, but he stopped frowning and Carlin breathed a little easier as Matt looked him over head to toe.

  “Turn around,” Matt ordered, twirling two fingers in the air. Carlin turned and presented his back to the man. He arched his lower back just a little to push his ass out, then glanced over his shoulder as Matt grunted.

  Carlin thought Matt looked a little dazed, but in a very good way. “Do you like?” Carlin asked as he reached back and ran his hand over one butt cheek. “There’s not even a bit of fuzz, just smooth, warm skin.”

  “Let me see.”

  Carlin spread his legs shoulder width apart then bent forwards as he reached behind him again. He gripped his cheeks and pulled them apart, figuring if Matt didn’t freak out over such a raunchy display then he truly was comfortable with this side of his sexuality.

  Matt didn’t freak at all. Carlin could see him even in this awkward position, and even upside down, Carlin could easily read the appreciation and desire in Matt’s expression.

  “I’ve seen stuff like this online, but it never made me feel like I’m being burned from the inside out.”

  Before Carlin could ask about the ‘stuff online’, Matt moved closer and smoothed one hand over Carlin’s ass while grabbing Carlin’s balls with the other.

  “I like this no hair thing,” Matt muttered. “Like feeling your skin, so soft for such a hard looking body. And here—” Matt squeezed Carlin’s balls lightly, sending a bolt of need straight to Carlin’s hole. “These big balls fit in my palm, silky smooth. I never would have thought it could feel so erotic.”

  “It does,” Carlin squeaked as a wave of lust swamped him. “Just don’t get rid of your pelt. I love a hairy man.”

  Matt snorted. “As if. I have no desire to have all this hair ripped off, but I do desire you.” Matt shifted behind him and Carlin felt the fat crown of Matt’s dick press against his opening.

  “Condom,” Carlin yelped, thinking he might be getting fucked before he was prepared after all. Between his need to have Matt’s dick buried deep in his ass, and Matt’s need to be there, Carlin was dangerously close to doing something stupid. “There’s one in my wallet.”

  Matt stroked Carlin’s ass with his cock, then patted it with his hand as well. “Unless you want to get fucked standing here like this, I’d suggest you get your ass on the bed in whatever position you want to be in.”

  “Shit,” Carlin muttered. “You can’t say something like that and expect me to be able to think!”

  “You don’t have to think, just move.”

  Carlin stood and turned around, sprinting for the bed, prodded by an urgent need for Matt. He leaped and landed on his hands and knees and promptly maneuvered himself around until he had his head resting on his forearms and his ass in the air. Matt stood with Carlin’s open wallet in his hand, staring down at something. When Carlin realized what it was, he sat up on his heels and called Matt over to the bed.

  “That’s my father,” Carlin explained as he pointed at the expressionless man standing beside him in the photograph. “He was diagnosed with late-onset schizophrenia not long after I turned eighteen. My mother had passed away from ovarian cancer when I was ten, so there’s no one else…”

  Matt stared at the picture for several seconds before looking at Carlin. “He’s why you didn’t come visit, isn’t he?”

  “Yeah,” Carlin admitted. “He…I kept him with me as long as I could, but none of the medications the psychs gave him helped at all, and Dad kept getting worse. Leaving him…I just couldn’t do it. Aunt Mary knew. She wasn’t close to my Dad, I don’t know why, maybe that’s the way of some in-laws. Maybe she didn’t think he was good enough for her little sister, but she understood a son’s love for his father.”

  He took the wallet from Matt and looked at the photo. His father’s once-lively eyes were so lifeless, his entire expression flat. Carlin swiped at a tear that slipped from his eye and wondered how pathetic he appeared to Matt.

  The bed dipped and Carlin glanced up as Matt sat beside him. Matt put an arm around his shoulders and twisted his torso around until Carlin found himself enveloped in a tender hug. Matt’s ability to shift from
horny and demanding to comforting and sweet threatened to make Carlin bawl like a baby. Definitely not attractive, he thought.

  “Where’s your dad now?”

  Carlin tipped his head up to look at Matt, soaking in the concern in those blue eyes. Guilt ate at Carlin and he feared Matt’s judgment, but he wouldn’t lie to this man.

  “He was endangering himself, slipping out of the house despite the nurse I hired to watch over him while I was at work. The first time it happened, he was gone for three days before the police found him, scared and filthy, curled up asleep under a bridge where a lot of homeless people sleep. He was screaming at the voices in his head, and someone called the cops.” Carlin looked away as he forced himself to continue. ”After the third time, when it took over a week to find him, I had to face the fact that keeping him with me was selfish. I didn’t want the guilt that would come with putting him in a private facility, and I didn’t want to lose my dad. I put him on the waiting list for the best psychiatric facility in the city. He was moved there a little over three weeks ago.”

  Carlin’s chin was clasped in a firm grip. Matt tugged and Carlin gave in, turning back to face him. Matt rained soft kisses on his lips, his eyes, the top of his head. Each kiss opened something up in Carlin, tiny embers of warmth that bloomed and spread to chase away the desolation he felt when he thought of what he’d done to his dad.

  “You didn’t have any choice, sweetheart,” Matt said with an assurance that blotted out a chunk of Carlin’s guilt. “You did what was best for him despite how it hurt you. Then your aunt died…and I’m so sorry. You’ve lost so much in such a short period of time.”

  Maybe he had, or maybe he’d lost his father and Aunt Mary a long time ago. One to an insidious illness, the other to distance and responsibility.

  Chapter Six

  Matt couldn’t stand to see Carlin hurting. He almost wished he hadn’t seen the picture of Carlin, smiling although his eyes were tinged with sadness, and his father, a tall, burly man who looked as if his personality had vanished and left behind an empty shell. But Carlin had needed to hear that he wasn’t at fault, needed someone to help assuage the guilt he obviously felt, so for that reason Matt was glad he’d discovered the photo.