“Oh.” I closed my locker and stepped away from it. “I hurt my ankle on Friday, so I’m only going to watch.”
“That sounds like so much fun,” Hope said, her voice monotone. She hated any kind of sport. “I’m gonna head to class.” She yawned a final time. “Catch you in the morning?”
“Yep.” She twirled around and pushed through the crowd as I shouted, “Get some sleep, you look like a zombie!” She flicked her middle finger up at me, and I laughed as I headed to my last class of the day.
Class trailed by at a snail’s pace, but I was sure it was because I couldn’t wait to get out of there. I’d never tracked down the minutes until the day ended. I’d never looked forward to what would happen when the final bell rang, but today was different. I may not have been able to practice on the track today, but I could watch by the sidelines and wait…
Wait for everyone to leave.
Wait for Cade to pack everything away.
Wait for Cade to touch me.
Wait for Cade to kiss me.
By the time I made it to the bleachers and sat on them, Reagan and Cade were talking at the side of the track. I couldn’t help but watch him as he bent down to show her what her starting position should be.
I tilted my head to the side as his sweatpants pulled against his ass, and his long-sleeve thermal rode up on his wrists and showed some of his tattoos. His head bent down a little, causing his hair to flop forward onto his forehead, and my fingers itched to be able to swipe it out of his eyes.
Nothing I did could stop me staring at him. Not even the notebook on my lap and the chemistry workbook open next to me. I was enthralled with each of his movements. Obsessed with the way he strode away from Reagan as she got into her starting position.
His head turned left and right, a frown forming on his face until he spotted me. My breath stalled in my chest as his gaze landed on me and froze me to the spot. He was affecting me more than I ever thought possible. My head told me this wasn’t going to end well, but my heart didn’t care one bit. Not when he was staring at me like I was the only girl in the universe.
He pushed one hand into the pocket of his sweatpants and leaned against the metal rail that encased the track and field. His stare should have been on Reagan and the way she was running, but I was bathing in it instead.
My stomach dipped, butterflies flapping their wings and flying around at a crazy pace. I didn’t know how long we stared at each other from so far away, but when Reagan stopped in front of him with her hands on her hips, I finally managed to look away.
I’d never been so captivated by a single person in my entire life. He was consuming my every thought, and there was nothing I could do to stop it—not that I wanted to.
Looking back down at my notebook, I knew I wouldn’t get any work done out here, so I packed it away and stood. My ankle was still a little tender, but not enough that I couldn’t walk. I didn’t want to run on it just yet, but I’d be running at the next practice on Wednesday.
I took the steps slowly, still aware of Cade out of my peripheral vision. He’d moved around the track some, so it meant I didn’t have to walk by him to go back inside. But as I made it to the door, I took one glance back. His eyes were focused on me as he took a step toward me. There was still thirty minutes left of Reagan’s practice, but I wished there wasn’t. I’d never wanted to feel his touch so much before, and I wasn’t sure I could wait any longer.
With one deep breath, I turned away from him and entered the building. I was in a daze, but I knew exactly where I was going. The small hallway led to the locker rooms and Cade’s office, and I headed right for his door.
It wasn’t a big room, but it was enough for what he needed. His desk sat in the middle of the room with two bookcases full of trophies on one wall and a whiteboard with chairs underneath on the other. Windows made up the other two walls—one set looked out into the hallway, but the blinds on those were closed, and the other set looked out onto the track and field.
I dropped my bag onto one of the chairs and ambled over to the windows, but when I looked out of them, I couldn’t see Reagan or Cade on the track anymore. My brows pulled down into a frown as I placed my hand on the glass and narrowed my eyes.
“What are you looking for?” Cade’s rough voice asked in a whisper from right behind me. I jumped, but his front pressing against my back kept me in place.
“I—” He moved my hair off my neck and trailed the tip of his finger along the sensitive skin, eliciting a shiver from me. “You…I was looking for you.”
“That right?” he asked, his breath fanning over where he’d just touched. I stuttered a breath as his lips met my skin. “God, you drive me insane.” I couldn’t form any words as he trailed his lips farther down my neck and pulled the strap to my tank top lower. “It took every ounce of strength not to dart across that field and touch you.”
I groaned and closed my eyes. Each one of his caresses was simultaneously breaking me apart and putting me back together again. He’d never know how he made me feel. He’d never understand how much I craved his touch.
“Cade,” I whispered. His arm wrapped around my waist, his hand flattening on my stomach. I stared down at his long fingers that practically spanned the width of my hips.
“Yeah, baby?” he asked, then flicked his tongue on my neck and followed it up with a kiss.
“Shouldn’t you be…” I trailed off as he pulled me tighter against him. There was no denying how turned on he was, and I loved every second of it. I was greedy and wanted more. More of this. More of him. “Shouldn’t you be with Reagan?”
He turned me around and pressed his front to mine, keeping me locked between him and the window. “I couldn’t stop myself,” he told me, his eyes shining with determination. “Not knowing you’d be in here waiting for me.”
I whispered my hand up his arm and grasped the side of his neck. “Has she gone?”
His head dipped, and he rested his forehead against mine. “She’s gone.”
I pulled in a deep breath. “Good.” My lips connected with his, but he was ready for me this time. He bent down and picked me up, and I held on to him like he was my life raft.
My legs locked around his waist on instinct as he dipped his tongue between my lips. He stumbled slightly as he maneuvered us across the room and to his desk chair. My thighs sat on either side of him, my hips aligned with his.
“Will I ever get enough of you?” he asked, but I wasn’t sure he wanted an answer, so I didn’t give him one. Instead, I slammed my lips down onto his and rocked my hips. His erection pushed between my legs, and in response, he growled. “Fuck, Aria.” His large hands cupped either side of my neck. “Do that again.”
I did as I was told and rocked my hips again. His reaction was nothing compared to the way he rubbed in just the right way. I was losing myself to him, and I didn’t care one bit. I forgot where I was. I forgot who we were. I forgot all the pain I felt. The only thing I could think about was the way his lips felt against mine. The way his hands grasped me like I was his, and only his.
Our lips separated slowly, not wanting to be apart, and I finally came up for air. “What are we doing?” I asked him in a whisper.
His eyes were the darkest blue I’d ever seen as his stare captured mine. “I don’t know, baby, but I don’t want to stop.” His thumb rubbed back and forth against the front of my neck.
I smiled, a real smile I hadn’t shown anyone for years. In fact, I had a feeling he was the last person who had drawn the smile from me. “I don’t either.”
Cade closed his eyes, his chest moving on a deep inhale. “We can’t tell anyone, Aria.” He pulled me even closer to him. “I hate it, but…”
“I know.” I pushed my hand through his hair, relishing in the softness against my fingers. “I get it. It can be another one of our secrets.”
His eyes flashed and dipped between us. I knew he was looking at where my scars were beneath the denim of my jeans. When I looked down, I
saw the outline of his erection, pointing right at me, and thrust my hips to distract him.
“Fuck, baby.” He groaned at the sensation and gripped me tighter. “That feels so goddamn good.” He pushed his face into the side of my neck, each of his breaths fanning across my skin and causing goose bumps to rise. “We gotta stop.”
“Why?” I asked, loving the way I made him feel. He was exposing part of himself to me, exactly like I had last week, only his wasn’t pain-filled like mine.
“Because if we don’t…” He didn’t finish what he was saying as he pulled back, but the look shining in his eyes told me enough. He was on the verge of losing control, and however much I craved it right now, it was too soon. Everything was weaving together, tightening and threatening not to let us go. One wrong move, and it would all snap. We needed to learn to walk before we tried to run, so I shuffled off his lap and stood in front of him.
“Okay,” I said, waving my hand in front of my face to try and calm the blush on my cheeks.
Cade leaned back in his chair, his finger rubbing along his bottom lip as he tracked me from head to toe. “You’re something else, Aria Sayer.” His gaze finally landed on my eyes. “You know that?” I soaked in each of his words. “I’m not sure whether this is epically stupid, or the best decision I ever made”—he stood slowly—“but I’m not willing to give you up. Not now.”
“Is that a promise?” I asked, my voice sounding unsure.
“You’re damn straight it is, baby.” He threw his arm over my shoulders. “Now come on, I’ll take you home so you can do your homework. I hear your world history teacher is a demanding asshole.”
I picked up my bag on the way out of his office and grinned up at him. “You heard right.”
* * *
ARIA
If I thought kissing Cade would mean he’d go easy on me in my next practice, then I was wrong. So very wrong. He put me through my paces harder than any other practice. Reagan was off doing her five laps, trying to beat Monday’s time, but he kept getting me to do my start position over and over again.
I’d lost count of the number of times I’d bent down and he’d blown the whistle for me to take off. “Again,” he demanded, and I nearly told him to go swivel. My thighs burned, my back ached, and my fingers had imprints from where the track dug into them.
I swiped my hand across my face, bent down, and gritted my teeth at the burn in my thighs. My breaths evened out as I waited for him to blow the whistle, but after several seconds of nothing, I turned my head to face him.
His gaze was focused on me, more specifically, my ass covered by the athletic leggings I was wearing. I raised a brow and cleared my throat, causing his stare to ping to mine. “You about done ogling, Mr. Easton?”
His nostrils flared, and he widened his stance. “What if I’m not?” He paused and flicked his gaze over to the other side of the track.
“Blow the whistle,” I demanded, but my voice didn’t come out how I meant for it to. It was breathy, a clear sign I liked him staring at me. The last time we’d touched had been in his office two days ago, and it was killing me to be this close to him and not do what I desperately wanted to.
His long fingers reached for the whistle around his neck, and my stomach dipped when I remembered how they’d felt grasping my hips. I could still feel the burn of his palms all over me, and I never wanted it to go away.
“When you take off this time, keep running. Do two laps.”
I nodded, but I didn’t take my eyes off him. I drank my fill of him in the same way he had done to me. He blew the whistle, and I took off. My start was the best one of the day. I could feel it in the way my muscles extended with each stride. I could sense it in the way my feet hit the track and bounced back up again. Each stride was more confident, taking me around the track faster than I ever had before. It gave me the escape I desperately needed. Cade was a distraction when I was with him, but when I was alone in my bedroom at night, I felt the pain I pushed down during the day.
Cade had asked me to reach out to him, but last night I hadn’t. I hated to admit I didn’t have the strength to call him up and tell him I was struggling, so instead, I did what I always did. I found relief in the only way I knew how.
But now it was eating at me. I’d not kept my promise. I’d betrayed him, and it made me feel even worse than I already did. By the time I finished my two laps, Reagan was heading into the building, and Cade was waiting by the door.
I slowed down to a walk as I caught my breath, but my thoughts had rendered me speechless. “That was your best time yet,” he said, following me through the door. “Well done, Aria.”
“Thanks,” I whispered, knowing he’d hear me in the otherwise silent building. The flirtatious banter disappeared because I couldn’t even look at him as I walked down the hallway and past his office then into the locker rooms, nearly running right into Reagan. “Sorry.”
“It’s all good,” she said, and I stared up at her. She was a sweaty mess, much like I was. “I saw your last start. It was awesome
A smile quirked on my lips. “Thanks.” She’d been running track for years, so she had experience I didn’t have. “You have any tips for me?”
She tilted her head to the side and chewed on her bottom lip. “You need to work on your arms.”
“My arms?”
“Yeah.” She pulled the strap of her bag higher on her shoulders. “I’ll show you next practice.” Her cell beeped in her hand, and she looked down at it. “My dad is here, I better go.”
I nodded. “See you tomorrow.”
She didn’t reply as she left, and then I was all alone, bar my thoughts. I grabbed my bag out of the locker and pulled out my wash supplies then headed into the showers. There was no way I could put my clothes back on while sweat was still pouring out of me.
I took a quick shower, then wrapped a towel around my body, and sat on one of the benches. My gaze zoned in on the fresh cut on my left thigh, and I couldn’t help but drag the pads of my fingers over all the other scars. Some were bigger than others. Some deeper, some more shallow. Some looked angry, some were delicate, but they all represented the agony I had deep down in my heart.
I didn’t know how long I sat on the bench and stared at them, but it was a knock on the locker room door that had me jumping out of my skin and covering them up.
“Aria?” A pause and then, “Need me to give you a ride home?”
“I…” I cleared my throat to shout louder. “I need a ride to the diner.”
I held on tighter to my towel, afraid he’d come in any second. I knew I needed to tell him what I’d done last night, but I wished I didn’t have to. I was trying to appear strong and confident because I didn’t want to be the weak one—the one everyone walked on eggshells around.
“Sure. I’ll wait out here.”
The idea of him only on the other side of the door had me yanking my underwear and clothes on. My light-blue jeans with rips in the knees covered the scars he knew about, and the dark-purple band T-shirt covered my splintered heart.
Once I pushed my feet into my boots, I grabbed my bag and slung it over my shoulder. Cade was leaning against the wall, and as soon as he saw me, he straightened.
I didn’t say a word to him as we exited the building and he locked up behind us. We walked around the outside of it and into the parking lot. Only his car and a couple more taking up spaces. The lights on the black shiny sports car flashed when we got closer, and I opened up the passenger side door and entered his car.
The clean leather smell calmed me, but my pulse quickened when Cade got in and started the engine. My nerves were going haywire at being in such close quarters with him, but I wasn’t really sure it was because of that. It was the secret I was holding on to. The broken promise.
Cade pulled up to a stoplight, and I could feel the burn of his gaze on the side of my face. We were only a couple of minutes away from the diner now, and I knew I had to tell him before we got there. It was now or neve
r, and—
“I cut last night,” I blurted out. I kept my gaze focused on my hands in my lap, too scared to look up at his face. I wasn’t sure what he was going to say, but his silence was a surprise.
The seconds ticked by, each one feeling longer than the last, and then he stopped the car. I looked up, seeing he’d parked right at the back of the lot of the diner.
“Why didn’t you call me?” his rough voice asked. When I didn’t answer him, he slapped his palm on his steering wheel and repeated, “Why didn’t you call me, Aria?”
“I…I…erm…” I gripped on to my hands so tight my knuckles were turning white.
“Aria.” His hand landed over both of mine, covering them entirely. “Look at me.”
I swallowed and took a deep breath, preparing myself. I glanced up at him and witnessed the torment shadowing his own eyes. “I was scared,” I whispered, hating that my throat was closing up. “I…I hate being this person.” I closed my eyes and leaned the back of my head against my seat as a lump built in my throat. “This isn’t who I was meant to be.”
“Baby.” His hand moved off mine. I heard a click, and then my belt trailed across my body. “Come here.”
I opened up my eyes just in time to see him pushing his seat back, and then he reached for me. I shouldn’t have gone to him. I shouldn’t have let him take my sorrow away, but the draw to him was too much to deny.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered and swiped away a tear from my face. His hands gripped my waist as he pulled me over the center console and into his lap. The safety of his arms couldn’t be denied, and I burrowed into his chest, letting him hold me.
“Don’t be,” he murmured and planted a kiss on the top of my head. “You told me. That’s all that matters.”
I nodded, but I wasn’t sure I agreed with him. I hated being the person I was. I itched to get out of my own skin. “It was just…it’s…” I felt like I needed to explain it to him. Maybe if he understood why, it would be easier. But that was the problem. No one would ever understand why I was the way I was. I’d seen things I shouldn’t have. I’d witnessed stuff not many people ever would. And this…this was the only way I could cope.
Defy Fate: Fated Duet: Book One Page 12