What's Up, Buttercup? (Vexatious Valkyries Book 1)

by Jane Cousins

  All she had to do was take that first step. Something, anything, he just needed a look, or some sign that she was considering him at the very least as a viable, convenient, sexual candidate. He could work with very little, expand on it, exploit it. Until finally Stephanie came to the eventual realisation she couldn’t kill him and she couldn’t live without him.

  Galen should have predicted that his steely Valkyrie wouldn’t crack easily. Fuck, all he needed was the faintest glimmer of hope that he was on the right track here. It was beyond frustrating. He’d never seriously pursued a woman before, let alone a destined mate. He knew his thought processes were compromised, that he was flooded with both adrenalin and testosterone. Not to mention the spiking clawing shifts and surges of impatience and rage that he’d come to associate with his inevitable downwards spiral into stabby territory. His inner Demon piling on, ravenous for a taste of Stephanie.

  He was… go on, admit it, scared, that he might be taking the wrong approach. That he could potentially ruin any and all chances he might have of winning Stephanie’s claim and her love. The thought all but froze him with horror.

  Galen really, really didn’t want to fuck this up. Kept second guessing himself. Every action he made. Every word that left his mouth. It was excruciating, waiting, being patient. Stephanie was already so damn precious to him. He prayed for help, he just needed a glimmer of hope, one tiny crack in her façade. Then the true campaign to win the Valkyrie’s heart could begin.

  His head snapped up as Stephanie jauntily bounced her way into the cavern. Damn, the way she had of walking was going to kill him. He managed a polite nod and small smile.

  “Hungry?” He queried.

  A mulish, tight expression settled over Stephanie’s features as she took a seat at the table set for two. “Yes.” Tugging at her still damp ponytail.

  She’d clearly taken a dip in the hot spring to freshen up before joining him. Morphing her clothes into white capri pants and a sunshine yellow t-shirt. She looked gorgeous and slightly pissed off. He’d liked to think it was his behaviour that was getting under her skin, but no doubt her lack of success in finding an escape route was the cause.

  Certainly her mood wasn’t affecting her appetite. Head bent low, her focus on nothing but the food he placed in front of her. Galen suspected a man could lose a limb if he ever attempted to get between a Valkyrie and food. Suppressing a sigh, he began to eat. The quiet in the cavern settling around them oppressively as the humid air.

  “So… what kind of pencil pusher are you?”

  “Excuse me?”

  “You and all your never ending paperwork? I’m guessing banker, probably specialising in kicking widows and orphans out of their homes.”

  Triumph shot through Galen, he didn’t care how surly her tone was or that her words were derogatory. He presumed the Valkyrie didn’t do a lot of small talk and when she did, it was probably only to taunt her enemies before she cut them down.

  He’d imagined a hundred different scenarios of how he should react when Stephanie finally initiated an actual conversation. He’d been planning to be urbane and suave, charming her with his wit. But his gut was warning him that would be a fatal mistake. It went against the grain but he managed to maintain his silence.

  Stephanie’s head snapped up, blue gaze narrowing as she glared at Galen. “Well?”

  “I’m a divorce lawyer.” He gifted her with a brief, polite smile, before shifting his attention back to his plate and shovelling food into his mouth. Letting the silence settle once more over them… except it wasn’t completely silent, he was pretty sure he could hear the Valkyrie grinding her teeth together.

  Playing her like this, provoking her, it was dangerous. Though it had to be a good sign she wasn’t calling her hatchets and hacking him into teeny, tiny bits.

  Thank the Lord below, phase one, the Valkyrie breaking the cool détente was complete. Now, on to phase two, getting her to see him as a man and potential mate. If all else failed, there was still the spoils of war clause to be exploited. He was quite literally a Demon in the courtroom after all.

  Chapter Seven

  Stephanie was still mentally kicking herself the next afternoon as she made her way back through the twisty tunnels, heading for the main cavern. So, what kind of pencil pusher are you? Seriously, what an inane, stupid question.

  It was the curse of a Valkyrie to be curious. When they came across something new they always wanted to know the most effective way to kill it, or, at the very least, incapacitate it. Show them a new species or creature and they had an overwhelming urge to start jabbing with the nearest sharp object to see what would happen.

  But wanting to know more about a Demon? Other than his next of kin’s contact details, so they could come and collect the body. It was weird. Right? Not alien weird, but it had definitely surprised Stephanie.

  One moment she was eating, the next, she’s opening her mouth and asking a personal question that would help her understand this very strange Demon better.

  If she were to kill him, she idly wondered who would come forward to claim the body. A girlfriend? Could there be a Mrs Lawyer Demon? Grrr, a flash of rage roiled through Stephanie before she could tamp it down. A mental image forming of a sleekly beautiful, intelligent Conflict Demoness.

  She’d be a perfect match for the arrogant Galen. Carefully styled hair that never got mussed. Manicured nails that had never known dirt under them. Probably went to the gym and did classes like cardio pump to stay fit. She’d wear expensive business suits, no doubt with ridiculous high-heels to showcase her fabulously toned legs.

  Anger sizzled through Stephanie. Bloody perfect Demoness. Hmm, but accidents did happen and no doubt she’d have a refined, narrow neck. Perfect for snapping.

  Double grrr. Now she was picturing a sombre, grieving Galen, looking hellaciously good in a black suit standing by his departed wife’s gravesite, surrounded by a flock of eager replacement She-Demons all clinging to him.

  What a ridiculous daydream. See, this was what happened when a Valkyrie went too long between kills. Besides, Galen had never mentioned a girlfriend or wife. But then he rarely spoke since that first night, and certainly about nothing personal. He wore no ring, though some married men chose not to. He was surprisingly capable in the kitchen. Which could mean he was used to fending for himself, or alternatively, he was in one of those relationships where the household chores were shared.

  Damn it, she was back to wondering if the reason the Demon was being so unpredictable, refusing to be lumped in with every other male of any species she had encountered was because he was already taken. Crap, and why did that thought send bolts of red hot rage shooting through her gut? Making her want to call her hatchets and find a refined, narrow neck and start hacking?

  Though why should she take her anger out on some imaginary Demoness, when she had one irritating Demon within easy swing of her hatchets? Polite. Helpful. Grrr… friendly.

  Leaving fluffy towels by the hot spring for her was one thing. Making breakfast and dinner? Fine, he had to eat too. But then there was a host of other stuff. Packing her a lunch each day before she set off on her explorations of the lower caverns. Gifting her with several glow in the dark highlighters so she could mark her trail. Never prying. Rarely even talking for that matter, except to enquire if there was anything she needed.

  And, By Freyja’s Sword, he was a heavy sleeper. Galen lay beside her each night, stock still, breathing deeply and evenly. No stray digits wandering her way. No annoying snoring or snuffling. Or rolling over to cop a feel. His polite disinterest was beginning to frustrate Stephanie so much she found herself actively trying to rattle him to provoke a response.

  Her t-shirts were suddenly a little bit tighter. Her short-shorts a little bit briefer. She found herself adding a deliberate spring to her step, just to see if she could catch the Demon leering her way. Like any normal male of the species would when presented with a bounty of bodacious bosom bouncing. Not Galen Darvyn, h
e was more interested in his paperwork. See, weird. Perplexing.

  She wanted to hold him down, and strangely, not cut him open to see what made him tick. No, she just really liked the idea of holding him down. Restraining him. Maybe conducting a little exploration. Check whether the skin with the light dusting of hair that covered that muscular, broad chest was as heated as it looked. Test the strength of those impressive looking arms.

  She’d been idly wondering how he had developed and maintained such a muscular, hard frame, and got her answer as she walked back into the main cavern to find Galen wearing nothing but shorts and boxing gloves. Pounding away at a punching bag with his fists, working kicks into the rotation occasionally.

  Damn, at six-foot-four, he was a big brute of a Demon. Sweat dotted his exposed flesh, making his muscles glisten. His wet hair slicked back from his face. Those damp shorts clinging to his upper thighs and rock solid ass like a second skin.

  Stephanie had to fight the urge to pull up a seat and just enjoy the show. No way, then she’d be the one caught leering. Turning abruptly, Stephanie headed for the hot spring. A shower would have been nice tonight but in order to get to the bathroom she’d have to pass within three feet of Galen. For some strange reason she didn’t trust herself to get within touching distance of him right at this moment.

  At the spring she morphed her t-shirt, shorts and shoes away, and wearing a blue and white checked bikini dived in. Pity it wasn’t cold, she already felt overheated for some reason. In the deepest part of the spring she flipped over onto her back and floated. Glaring up at the impossible to climb vertical chute above her head.

  Stuck in this stupid cavern, it was beyond frustrating. Stephanie couldn’t remember the last situation she’d been in that she hadn’t been able to fight, hack or bludgeon her way out of.

  The black gaping hole above mocked her. Whilst the twisty tunnels beyond the hot springs had proven to be nothing but a never ending frustrating maze. Thank heavens, for Galen’s thoughtful gift of glow in the dark markers. Stephanie was pretty sure she would still be wandering around down there if not for them.

  After five days of futile exploration, she was close to admitting defeat. A galling notion for one such as her.

  Crap, and what, By the Sword, was she supposed to do with her time if she wasn’t actively trying to find an escape route? Play with the Demon? Hmmm, a mental image of his sweaty, almost naked body as he boxed assailed her. It wouldn’t be a hardship grappling with Galen Darvyn. The rugs were certainly cushy enough in the cavern to allow for sparring.

  Of course grappling might lead to tussling. Which would lead to lots of rolling around, limbs interlocking, bodies mashed together. Places low in Stephanie’s body liked that idea, liked it a lot. Damn it. If she wanted the Demon she should just tell him they were having sex. Except… Blast, it kept coming back to except.

  It would be different if he was acting like every other male that encountered a Valkyrie. Drooling. Distracted. Horny. But this one, he was too busy being an enigma to allow Stephanie the opportunity to pigeon-hole and treat him the same as every other male who had crossed her path.

  She was so lost in thought, Stephanie forgot where she was. Sinking abruptly below the surface of the spring. Spluttering and coughing, she began to tread water. Seriously, what the hell was wrong with her?

  Okay, so she was faced with an annoying, irritating Demon. One she wasn’t allowed to kill. Unless she made it look like an accident. But she had a feeling that even the lazy heifers in the Legal Department would get suspicious if she wrote under cause of death; fell on my hatchets seventeen times.

  Though, there was always serious maiming to consider, hmmm, happy thoughts.

  But… damn it, she was back to that but.

  She so needed to keep busy. An idle Valkyrie was a dangerous Valkyrie. Stephanie needed a new escape project… or perhaps just a new project. Maybe instead of wasting her time and energy trying to find a way out of this seemingly inescapable cavern, she should find a new focus. Say the Demon who happened to be sharing this plush prison with her.

  He had to know more about this cavern than he was saying. The working bathroom and kitchen alone were rather suspicious. And she’d stupidly forgotten how she came to be here. That mysterious pull that would not be denied. The naturally occurring smooth chute that had plunged her all but into the Demon’s lap. It was all a bit too… convenient.

  Bloody hell, she’d gone straight into bullish mode when faced with being trapped here. Eradicate or remove an obstacle. Tear. Rend. Pound. Smash. It was Valkyrie training 101.

  Looking back, Stephanie was a little embarrassed by her behaviour over the past few days. She was smarter than this. Instead of interrogating her one available resource for more information, she had wilfully chosen to ignore him. Just because he had blithely claimed he was innocent in having anything to do with her current state of captivity.

  Why had she believed him? Because his intense black gaze had failed to set off her gut lie detector? Which meant nothing, he claimed to be a lawyer, meaning he was in effect a trained liar.

  Plus, it was suspicious, wasn’t it? That first night when she arrived, there had been heated interest in his eyes. In the teasing tone of his voice. Yet overnight he’d changed, as if he had rethought his… strategy.

  Freyja’s Sword, he was playing her.

  To what end she couldn’t work out. Valkyrie intel? That would be ridiculous, considering this was just a faux battle with no real stakes. Nor was he peppering her constantly with questions, personal or otherwise.

  So, just what did the big Demon brute want from her?

  He claimed he was perfectly content to wait until his friend realised he was trapped in here and came to his rescue. But what did Galen really do all day whilst she was out exploring the twisty, never ending, subterranean tunnels?

  She’d seen him spend a few hours attending to paperwork that first full day she was here. She’d blithely assumed that’s what he did when she was absent.

  A proven faulty assumption. Look at today. If she hadn’t come back thirty minutes earlier than her regular time, would she have ever known he boxed to stay fit? Not a huge secret, but seeing that sheer wall of robust muscle in action, it definitely upgraded Galen on the threat scale.

  Hmmm, perhaps that was what the polite routine was all about, getting her to underestimate him. Though to what end? A Valkyrie never let her guard down.

  If he just wanted sex from her, everyone knew the fastest approach to that end was just to enquire bluntly if she was interested. She was either willing to kill some time, or she was too busy killing. But there was no point in playing some elaborate game, or putting some sneaky left-field seduction routine into play. That kind of nonsense just tended to piss a Valkyrie off.

  Hmmm, but despite his perplexing behaviour, Stephanie was finding herself strangely attracted to the Demon at odd moments. Like when confronted by a wall of sweat soaked muscle. Or when that ink black stare of his shimmered with the reflection of a hundred flickering lanterns.

  Galen was handsome, that was undeniable. However, given his unpredictable attitude she should be feeling nothing but constant irritation and annoyance. There should certainly be no random heated throbbing between her legs. Or bolts of inexplicable anger shooting through her gut at the idea of him having a lady love back in the real world.

  Could… no, he wouldn’t, would he? Was the reason the Demon so insistent upon feeding her constantly because he was poisoning her? She’d searched their supplies thoroughly. Often watched him prepare their meals. She’d seen no sign of any kind of… aphrodisiac?

  That would certainly explain her occasionally throbbing sex, but not the silly daydreams about snapping his imaginary girlfriend’s neck.

  And really, an aphrodisiac would be wasted on her. Like all Valkyries, Stephanie had a healthy sex drive, and she wasn’t shy about it. No, the idea of Galen poisoning her made no sense.

  Crap, which didn’t explain her
strange attraction to him. Sure, it would be nice to lie to herself by claiming that the reason her t-shirts were suddenly that much tighter, and the bounce in her step was ultra springy was to get Galen to act like all other men. So she could manipulate him to her own goals. But that was a falsehood.

  She wanted to see that heat back in his liquid dark eyes. Listen to that rumbly, teasing tone and watch as his lips quirked upwards in that weirdly sensual way she had witnessed on first meeting him.

  Grrr, she really needed to get back to the battlefield. All these weird, inexplicable… feelings, were so not like her. It was uncomfortable and confusing. Pity she couldn’t just kill him to make those feelings go away.

  Problem was, if she wanted to gain intel about this cavern, and why Galen was really down here, every strategy she came up with involved her spending copious amounts of time with him. Getting to know the Demon and what made him tick. Equal parts of her loathed and liked that idea. Which was an issue. How could she trust her own motives here?

  Hold on, why did she even care? Big deal, she found Galen both annoying and sexy. She needed information and it seems she very well might need the Demon for some stress relieving, naked, fun time. It was just sex. She needed a release, that’s all these silly… feelings were. She was frustrated with being trapped here, missing all the battle action… and she was obviously just channelling that frustration sexually.

  Luckily she had a nearby target who might be able to satisfy her on all fronts. Galen Darvyn definitely knew more about this cavern, and he happened to be in possession of a rocking body that she was betting could assuage all her carnal needs.

  There was no time like the present to set her masterful plan into motion.

  Stephanie had never had to put any real effort into seducing a man before, but she had faith in her innate abilities. She was a highly trained Valkyrie; they didn’t know how to fail. No doubt when faced with even a small fraction of her effort, Galen would fold immediately. Just like a Jokaltist Demon when you punctured their throat sac.