“Why does this seem too good to be true, Josh? Why would a big company like MSJ Media throw money at a small gym in a struggling city? What’s the catch?” There was always a catch if something seemed too good to be true. My own experiences had shown me that.
“Absolutely no catch, Andrew. You can have your lawyer look over the paperwork that can be here tomorrow. My associate and I can meet you over the weekend or on Monday, if that is better, to discuss everything. If you find it all agreeable, we are authorized to sign the contracts while we are here and have a check messengered to the bank the same day. If, after meeting with my colleague, you don’t want to do everything you can to make this deal happen, then we go back to Atlanta. No repercussions, no animosity.”
“What can it hurt to look over everything Andrew? This could be the change we have been looking for. No bills to weigh us down, a fresh start.” Emily stated with a confident smile on her face. If she thought this was a good idea, maybe I need to give it some consideration.
“Have your lawyers send the paperwork over today and I’ll have my lawyer look over them. Do you have a number where I can reach you and your friend this weekend if I have any questions?”
He jotted his number down but never once said his partners’ name, making me wonder who was actually in charge of their fact-finding trip.
He walked out, a confident swagger in his step, as Emily and I followed him towards the front entrance. She kept her gaze on him the entire time, causing Cody to openly stare at her, a worried expression crossing his face.
What was it about this guy that made me feel his motives for the meeting were less than honest? What was he hiding?
“Are you going out with us on Saturday?” Cody asked me as I made my way back towards the mat area.
“Us? As in you and whom?”
“Us, as in me, that guy Josh, and his travel partner.” Cody replied vaguely as we began to drag the mats into position for our next class.
“I’m not sure what Emily has planned for Saturday. Where are y’all going, anyway? I’m sure they want to go to the Quarter, and you know how I hate the crowds down there.”
“I was planning on taking them to Thibodaux Roadhouse for some dancing and drinks. I invited Emily and she was excited to go but she said she won’t go if you don’t. Come on. You should have seen how happy she was to be able to go dancing. I haven’t seen her that excited, ever.” He looked at me with a glint in his eye that I couldn’t decipher and frankly, I was tired of trying. Everything seems to be upside down right now and I can’t seem to figure out which way is right side up.
“If Emily wants to go, I’m game. Especially if it means she isn’t alone with Josh. I don’t like the way he was looking at her and I’ll be damned if he thinks she is another notch on his bedpost.”
“He seems like a good guy. Give him a chance. Besides, Emily is old enough to be able to make some of those decisions for herself. As hard as it is, she needs to experience life.” Cody defending this stranger gave me pause. Why, all of the sudden, was he okay with her dating? He had been as protective of her as I had once he found out what had happened before we moved here.
“She’s experienced life and suffered for it. I’ll stick close but let her have a little fun. I promise. I’ll make Saturday all about Emily.”
I tried to focus as much as my brain would allow but I felt I was just going through the motions during my meetings. My thoughts were on the past, the present, and the unknown of what the simple little request could mean for my future. I had been looking for answers for years, living half a life since the day Andrew broke my heart, destroyed our future, and disappeared with his entire family.
Trying to trust that this is a good thing, I finished with my scheduled consultations and cold-called a few potential corporate sponsors. After making some promising connections, I headed back to the hotel to try and find a reason why, right after I decide I am ready to move past him, he is put right back in my path, even indirectly.
I tried to call Josh, only to find his phone going straight to voicemail, which was normal for him. If he was in a meeting or someplace that his phone would disturb his surroundings, like a quiet park or museum, he would put it straight to voicemail. I had sent a text message to Maddie and she responded she was with the Board of Directors until after 5 o’clock so I couldn’t talk to her for an hour or so. I reached out to the one person who had always protected my heart and gave advice that mattered. “Hey, mom. What are you doing?”
“I’m just going over some invoices. Nothing that can’t wait. How is your trip? Are you adjusting to all the travel or are you getting cranky?” she joked.
“I don’t get cranky, mom.” I insisted. “I just don’t like the effort it takes to get from one place to another. I love seeing new places, I just hate flying, and driving sucks after too much time in the car. You can only pass so many road signs and highway exits before you get bored and need to walk around.”
“You were always like that as a child, too. Maddie would read in the backseat the whole way and you would get cranky until you finally fell asleep. You didn’t tell me how your trip is going.”
“It’s going pretty good. We’re making progress on the cities and partnerships. New Orleans is on the list already for definite expansion, I just need to research a few more things and incorporate Josh’s research into the prospectus. We’ve had some delicious food over the past week and New Orleans is pretty amazing. We have the next few days off after my final meetings tomorrow and I’m excited to see the rest of the city and have some fun.”
“Sweetheart, we can keep beating around the bush with all this small talk or we can get to the real reason you called me in the middle of the day. What’s happened?”
My mother and I had a unique relationship. She was always a role model for me, a protector, a teacher but she was also a friend. She was the only person I talked to about what happened when I came home to find Andrew and his family gone. She had come out of our backyard and had seen me looking through the windows of his house. When I saw the house empty, I was unable to hold myself up anymore, falling to my knees and crying for the reality of my one true love being gone.
Mom had walked over and picked me up from the ground where I cried gut-wrenching tears for the loss of Andrew. She cradled me in her arms and let me purge the raw agony from myself, all the while, stroking my hair and telling me it was going to be okay. I didn’t believe her then but I need to trust her now as I tell her about the friend request and the flood of emotions and questions that had overtaken me.
“Do you remember when I had that weird friend request that I thought might be Andrew? The one I deleted last month?”
“Yes. Why? Did they send you another request? Should you block them or maybe report them?” Her motherly instincts were kicking in and I needed to dispel her fear over a stalker.
“No, Mom. I got a request last week and I just looked at it this morning. It was from Emily, Andrew’s younger sister. I don’t know what to do and Josh and Maddie are both tied up until later. How do I handle this? Do I delete it? Accept it? I don’t know what to think and my brain won’t stop spinning with questions.”
“Isn’t this a good thing, though? For years you have lived half a life waiting for answers. Emily may give you the answers you need to finally move past this once and for all. Or, possibly, she can point you in the right direction.” She reasoned.
“What if I find out Andrew has someone in his life. A wife or a family, and they’re happy? How am I supposed to justify that to myself? That he found the one who could give him what I couldn’t and I’m still stuck on him. I don’t know if I can handle that kind of reality check. Every time I think I’m ready to move past him, something keeps his memory and the love we had in focus. I need to move past him, Mom.” A few tears falling down my face as I allowed the feelings I have kept inside for so long to finally have validity.
I had cried enough tears over him, but just the thought of someone else
touching him, loving him and giving him the family we had always discussed, might push me over the edge. He had my heart at 12 years old and he still holds it in his hand, over ten years later.
“And what if he doesn’t. What if he is just as miserable as you are and this is the universe’s way of putting you in each other’s path again? You deserve answers so that your heart can finally start to mend itself. You and he had made plans for your entire life and him disappearing has caused you to put your life on a shelf, allowing it to collect dust. You need to be brave, my sweet girl, and trust that whatever is happening will put you on the path to your forever. Be it with Andrew or someone else, you deserve to live again. Remember what you told Maddie about Lucas and Jason? Seize the day, Caroline.”
“I never thought about it like that. I need some time to come to terms with what this may mean but I promise to go in with an open mind and only a slightly guarded heart. I love you, Mom.”
“That’s my girl! I love you too, Caroline. It’s time to start living your life.” she responded as she hung up and I was cast back into thought. My mom was right. I deserved to get answers and then I can finally start to live the life I had always wanted. A husband, kids, and enough love to last until eternity.
I looked over Emily’s social media site, finding no pictures of her family. It appeared she only used her account for some old school related stuff and there wasn’t a current city listed. I went through her friends and didn’t see Andrew listed, making me pause to wonder why she was the only family member that was socially active.
I decided to wait until Josh came back and we headed out to dinner to talk with him about everything. I needed time to digest the conversation I had with my mom. I wanted to know what had happened or at least be able to forgive Andrew for breaking my heart and move on to the life I’ve always imagined. The life I deserved.
I had spent years walking around with half of my heart missing, still alive and beating for him, but not able to open itself up to the possibility of finding another love. How do you look for new love when the only love your heart wants is gone? I’d tried dating, but never fully committed to the relationships, always fearful of being less than what they wanted. I allowed guys to run over me and my emotions and I had become very self-conscious over the years.
Josh texted he was back and ready for dinner so I made my way to his room down the hall from mine. We had splurged on suites when we arrived, both desiring the room to spread out and I wanted a room with a claw-footed bathtub to soak in. It was a personal item on my life list, to own a claw-footed tub, so the thought of relaxing in one sold me on the upgrade. We could have shared a suite but Maddie insisted we get separate rooms and let the company pay for it so we indulged and got the big suites.
When he opened the door, he was dressed in a pair of tight-fitting jeans and fitted black t-shirt, showing off his hard-earned physique. I must have had a look on my face because he ushered me into the room and guided me to the seating area. His ability to tell when someone was hurting and trying to put on a brave face made Josh a true friend and a very empathetic person. He had and would drop everything to help a friend when they are troubled or in need.
“Are you okay?” he asked, my hand still in his, trying to give me comfort to talk.
“I had a weird day. I’m still trying to process it all.”
“What happened?” he asked, waiting for me to tell him what had my mind so preoccupied.
“I got a friend request on social media last week from Andrews younger sister, Emily. I just saw it this morning so I called mom and she said to accept it and contact her. That maybe Emily could answer some of the questions I still have over Andrew and the way they all left. Kind of a closure type of thing.” I explained as he stroked his thumb over the top of my hand, calming me.
“I agree with Lisa. You deserve to know what happen all those years ago, why he said the things he said to you, and why he left without any contact. I don’t think you should ask Emily though. You deserve to learn the truth from Andrew, not by putting his sister in the middle.” He simply stated.
“How do I become friends with her and not ask about him? He is what we have in common. I’m so confused and I don’t know what to do.”
“Have you called Maddie and talked to her?”
“No, she had meetings until five o’clock and I didn’t want to bother her until she got home tonight.” I replied to him, trying to reason why I am afraid to reach out to Maddie, all of the sudden.
“You’re afraid. Of what, I’m not sure yet, but I think you should call her before we head to dinner, that way, we can have a good night without you worrying yourself sick over what-ifs.”
“I guess.” I agreed as I dialed her number and put the phone on speaker.
“Hey! How did your meetings go today?” The sound of her cheery voice echoed through the hotel room.
“The meeting went really well. I got four “yeses” to partnership and space allocation and a couple of the corporate sponsors are excited to make donations once the program is up and running. I emailed the e-signed copies to Carol for Legal to look over and will hand-deliver the hard copies when we get back next week.”
“That’s good but there is something else, isn’t there? What’s going on Caroline?”
“What’s with everyone today? Damn.” I responded and then repeated the story to her.
I told her what mom had to say and Josh filled in his opinions when needed, resulting in Maddie being silent while I recounted my weird day and subsequent strange feeling, overall. Maybe this is why I had been in a foul mood over the last few days. My soul knew the universe was about to come knocking with the ghost of my life, Andrew.
“Wow! I think Josh is right. Accept her but don’t question her. She was a young teenager when they left and I’m sure she doesn’t want to get in the middle of whatever it was that happened. Be her friend, just like you always were, and if she brings him up, then be gentle with her. Remember, Andrew is her brother and her loyalties are with him.”
“I’ll remember that. We’re about to head to dinner. Can I call you in the morning?”
“We won’t be available in the morning but you can call her after lunch.” Josh replied cryptically.
“What’s going on in the morning?” I questioned him, while he smiled the biggest smile at me.
“It’s a surprise that Maddie and I planned for you. A life list item.” He snickered as he got up and finished grabbing his things so we could head out.
“I hope you enjoy the surprise, Caroline. I promise you will love it!” Maddie responded and we said our goodbyes before hanging up the phone.
“No hints?” I questioned him as we left the room.
“Nope. It’s time to be brave, Caroline. I promise that no matter what happens, I will not leave you alone to fight your demons. I’ll be right beside you the entire time. I always want what is best for you.” He said as we made our way to the car and headed towards dinner and drinks.
“You’re lucky that I love you guys so much!” I laughed as we made our way into the restaurant and each ordered a Hurricane, my body needing the alcohol, my brain needing the numbing effects.
I pulled out my phone and hit accept on Emily. Wondering how long it would take her to make contact. If she would make contact.
I placed my phone inside my purse and began to soak up the atmosphere around me, loving the culture that New Orleans bleeds into everything it does. From the music to the food, and celebrations, this city embraces its muddled past and displays it proudly for the world to see.
After dinner and a few drinks, we headed back to the hotel to get some sleep. Josh had given me no clues on what we were doing in the morning, but I was living on faith that each step of my journey had a purpose. Josh wouldn’t lead me into anything dangerous and I was excited to mark something off my life list.
I made one shortly after Maddie started hers, and while there are some things we share on our lists, we have different measuremen
ts on what to experience in life. I wonder which one would be completed by the time we got back to Atlanta.
What would my life look like when I got home?
I heard Emily’s bike pull up shortly after eight and wondered why she was home so early. My little sister drives a royal blue Honda Grom and looks like a little badass driving down the road. Most people hear bike and think 12-speed, not a tiny motorcycle.
Don’t let her hear you call it tiny, though. She gets angry when people comment on her size, even if I used to pick on her about how kids in elementary school are taller than her.
For being so small, she hits harder than I expected.
Emily began riding dirt bikes when we moved to Georgia and I always knew she would be someone who lived for the freeing emotions that riding gave her. She had taken gymnastics and dance classes and her social clubs kept her days busy but my little sister loved riding dirt bikes on the weekends. She was never someone who wanted to compete or do crazy stunts, she just loved the freedom of the wind rushing through her hair as she drove around the MX park just outside of Columbus. After her accident, I thought that would change, and for a few years, it did. Shortly after her 18th birthday, she requested the bike and my parents gladly bought one. It was the last present they ever bought, so it meant a lot to her.
I moved into the kitchen to catch her when she walked in so I could find out why she was off work two hours early and why she didn’t let me know she was on her way home. Since our parents died, we have let each other know when we leave and when we arrive at our destination. The court ordered grief counselor we went to after the funeral said it was a coping mechanism and it was healthy as long as we didn’t sit and make ourselves sick with worry until we heard from the other.
The Love That Heals Me (Forever Mine Book 2) Page 6