She walked in with a huge smile on her face and a bounce in her step that I hadn’t observed in her since before we moved from Georgia. She came into the kitchen and gave me a big hug and went to the fridge, grabbing some left-over pizza and a bottle of water.
“Why are you home early? I thought you were going to close up tonight and catch a ride with someone. I didn’t know you were coming home until you pulled up. What’s going on Emily?”
“Nothing’s wrong. Jacob came in to finish up some paperwork and he offered to close since I’m off until Monday morning. I decided to take him up on the offer and hopped on the bike to come home. I’m sorry I didn’t call you but I wanted to get home with the bike before it got dark so we didn’t have to go pick it up this weekend. I never meant to upset you.” She replied as she leaned in to hug my waist and I wrapped my arms around her, kissing the top of her head before we broke our embrace.
“I’m not upset. It’s just the first time you went anywhere without letting me know where you were since mom and dad died. It caught me off guard, but I’m proud of you, kiddo. You seem to be in a better mood than you were this morning. Feel like talking about what has been on your mind lately?”
Emily began to fidget with her hands and rolling her foot from toe to heel, showing she was nervous and felt guilty. She had the same habit when my parents would find out something she was hiding as a kid and they allowed her to come clean instead of yelling at her. Her guilt always won out and she always ended up telling on herself. I hoped whatever it was didn’t have to do with her decision to go to college. I had a fear she would decide not to go to college like I did and I want her to have a better and easier life than I had.
“There really isn’t anything to tell. I’ve just been a little off lately but I’m feeling better.” She tried and failed to deflect my question.
“Let’s go sit in the living room and talk. I’ll make us a glass of tea and we can catch up. I want to see how you are doing with all the changes that are happening and we also need to look over the contracts that guy Josh had sent over before I left.”
“Okay. Let me put my phone on charge and I’ll go change out of my uniform. I’ll be right back.”
She plugged her phone in and went into her bedroom. I was tempted to look through her phone while she was out of the room but I would never invade her privacy like that. If I wanted her to be honest with me over whatever had been bothering her lately, there needed to be a level of trust between us. At the end of the day, she was an adult and my younger sister. She had the right to have a life, even if the thought of her dating made me see red.
We got situated in the living room and started looking over the contracts, looking for anything that appeared we were being taken advantage of. My lawyer would have to look over them as well but I had a copy to make sure the business was safe.
“The offer looks to be legitimate as far as I can tell, however, I’m not a lawyer, yet. It looks like they will pay off the existing mortgage in full as shown here.” Emily stared as she brought the pages dealing with the financial aspect of the transaction to the top of the stack. “And here is the offer to buy the space next to us for the proposed expansion, with the estimated costs of renovation. They also spell out investments for rebranding, logo and website design, and a line I have never heard of in a contract, something called a discretionary fund.” She finished with a look of confusion on her face.
“Why are they offering a discretionary fund?”
“It appears MSJ wants to have an account set up to assist in future expansions of staff, building repairs, equipment upgrades, etc. They are offering…” she paused, a look of shock on her face, her eyes wide.
“What are they offering?” I asked as I took the page from her and looked at what had shocked Emily.
“A half a million dollars?!” I yelled. This can’t be right. Someone had made a big mistake or there were definitely alternative motives for this offer…there had to be.
“That’s what it looks like. From what I can understand—and most of this is way over my head—the company wants to fully fund G’s Gym and make sure the doors stay open for a long time to come. What do we do, Andrew? Do we take the offer or do we pass up the potential to change our lives and the lives of so many people? The expansion will add six-thousand square feet to the gym and we can upgrade the locker rooms to include spa showers in the new space. Think of what we could do with that much space and how many students we could take on.”
“I really think the offer is too good to be true, but I’ll wait until Marcus looks over everything and gets back with me tomorrow morning. I told him to look over them tonight and let me know quickly.”
“Maybe this is destiny’s way of taking some of the stress off of us and allowing you to be yourself again. You have put so much into being there for me since, well, since we moved from Georgia. You pushed your life aside to take care of me and to be there for our family. We have struggled since mom and dad died to find our way, always afraid that we would lose the gym and fail them. Now, this amazing partnership lands right in our laps. This might be the opportunity we have prayed for. A new day, a new start.” Emily reasoned to me.
“That’s the second time today I have heard someone say that.” I told her.
“Well, listen to it. Everyone deserves a new start and a chance at a future. Please think about this offer before you turn it down.” She pleaded.
“I will, I promise. I do have a question for you though. You keep talking like you are staying at the gym. Have you changed your mind about college? I won’t let you throw your life away to make sure the business is running. You should get the education Mom and Dad always wanted you to have, not have to work hard for the rest of your life.”
“I’m still going to college but I’ll always worry about you and the gym. It isn’t too late for you to go back to college, you know. Maybe start with some online classes and see how you feel about it.” This wasn’t the first time she had urged me to re-enroll in community college. I just never felt the desire to go. I enjoyed what I did for a living and I found pride in working with the next generation of potential karate black belts and mini-Bruce Lee’s.
“I’ll think about it after we decide what to do about this offer. Putting that aside, what has had you in such a mood lately?” I asked gently, hoping to keep her talking.
Exhaling a deep sign Emily began to explain. “I’ve been thinking about the past a lot since I graduated. What would life have been like if we stayed in Georgia instead of leaving? Would Mom and Dad still be alive if we hadn’t moved? Would you and Caroline be married with a kid on the way already? I wonder what everyone’s life would look like if I hadn’t…”
“Stop! You did nothing wrong and I won’t let you get back inside your own head with those crazy thoughts again. It was my decision to leave and as far as Mom and Dad, they did what was best for you after what happened. I needed to be here for you and I don’t regret that decision, ever.”
“But what about Caroline? You loved her with your entire soul and I heard what you said to her the afternoon before we left. You lied and made her think one thing instead of just telling her the truth. You should have told her the truth. I hate to see you so broken, still, after all these years over something that you may have the chance to make right.”
“I couldn’t tell her what happened. I never wanted anyone to know what I allowed to…”
“Now, you stop! What happened was an accident and it was not your fault. Then and now, the fault lies outside of us. We did nothing wrong and I can’t stand to see you still beating yourself up over it. You need to move past it and start to live the life you always wanted. I’m fine and you need to find a way to be fine too. Please, for me, forgive yourself.” She asked as she leaned over and hugged up to my side, her head on my shoulder.
“I forgave myself a long time ago and I’m sure Caroline has moved on from me. She’s probably married with a child on the way and has completely forgotten about
me and the young love we had all those years ago.” I reasoned out loud, trying to convince myself that she didn’t still have my heart in her hands.
“How do you know? Have you, one time, looked her up since we moved? Have you tried to contact her and ask for forgiveness for lying to her?” Emily inquired.
“No, she deserves someone better than me. I can’t tell her what happen all those years ago. What made me say what I said to her, to purposely hurt her. What I said is unforgivable and I wouldn’t blame her for hating me to this day.”
“How would you feel if you knew she was still single and looking for her forever love, that she was still looking for you?”
“I’m not sure if that is true or not but I’m not her forever, not anymore. I’m going to head to bed and try and get some sleep. Don’t be up too late.” I said as I kissed the top of her head and made my way into my bedroom, cutting the conversation off where it was.
I couldn’t bear the thought of continuing to talk about Caroline and how her heart may still be available and seeking love. I had broken her heart and destroyed our future when I told her that her love wasn’t enough. I heard it through her anger and tears during our last conversation. How could I explain that I still had dreams at night of our wedding, the birth of our children, and the life we had promised each other, all those years ago?
I slept a fitful sleep that night, visions of Caroline and I happy morphing into tragedy and regret. Anger flowed from her and my heart broke all over again for the love I threw away when I wasn’t able to be the man she deserved. When I took the cowardly way out and blamed her for my shortcomings.
I deserved to have her hate me, then and now. It at least made the pain reasonable instead of the overwhelming sadness in my soul over the separation from its mate.
When I woke up the next morning, I found Emily texting away on her phone with a satisfied smile on her face. She had made a pot of coffee and was lost in her world of teenage drama, I assumed, when she noticed I had walked into the room.
Glancing up from her phone she declared “I made some coffee and thought we could grab some breakfast at the diner this morning. I want blueberry pancakes and I used the last of them on my oatmeal yesterday morning. Then we can run to the NOLA Outfitters Outlet so I can grab a new pair of pants and a top for tonight.”
“What’s tonight?” I asked, my emotions still heavy from the conversation last night and the dreams that kept me from sleeping soundly.
“We’re going out with Cody, Josh, and his partner to Thibodaux. Remember? Cody said you agreed I could go and I want to look nice. It’s been forever since we went dancing.” She reminded me of my agreement to take her out. I had forgotten all about it and still had some reservations about her being around Josh in a bar. Emily couldn’t drink there but at 19, she could come in and dance and enjoy the music.
“Are you sure you don’t want to go out to see Josh?” I questioned her, wanting to put my feelings for the guy right out on the table. No need for her to get emotions for someone who is leaving in a few days and will be a potential business associate with the gym. Emily deserved someone to worship her and Josh didn’t seem like the overly affectionate type of guy.
A small blush crept up her face at my mentioning her seeing Josh. “No, I just met the guy and I’m aware he isn’t in town for long. I just want to cut loose a little and dance until my feet hurt. Is that okay?”
“It’s perfectly fine. Let’s get cleaned up and go get some pancakes. I’ll drop you at the outlet center while I run over and meet with Marcus and then we can head back here to get ready for tonight. I have a feeling we are going to have a good time tonight. As long as Josh keeps his hands to himself, there won’t be any problems.”
“Get over it, Andrew. I’m 19 and if I want to date someone or mess around with a guy, you don’t get a say. You go through women like tissue. Okay, not tissue but I have seen the tramps you and the guys sneak into the back room or meet up with after the gym closes. What’s good for you is good for me.” She smiled an evil smile and I was taken aback by her bluntness.
I wasn’t aware she knew about the girls that I hooked up with and now I feel like a piece of shit for her knowing about my conquests. Not that I brag about them, as they are just a space filler for my lost love. An outlet to release my frustrations and satisfy my hunger for Caroline.
“You don’t deserve to be a notch on a bedpost, Emily.” I tried to reason with her without yelling.
“Neither do you, Andrew.” She replied as she patted my chest and walked toward her bedroom. “You owe it to yourself to look for your forever, not simply someone for right now. Think about that before you go and give me advice regarding my love life.”
I was shocked and a little insulted by her accusations but the more I thought about them, I knew she was right. I had allowed myself to become a whore and I was ashamed by the number of women I had been with.
It looks like my little sister may be growing up faster than I realized. Maybe it was time I did the same.
I woke up on Saturday morning with butterflies in my stomach over the unknown life list task we were checking off today. I had some pretty crazy ones on my list and a few that Maddie said were boring, but I wanted to do them anyway. She thought that my desire to bake a perfect cheesecake was a silly thing to add to the list but I have not been able to make one set just right yet, either them being too dry or too mushy. I see baking a perfect cheesecake as a life accomplishment.
Before I met Josh for breakfast and I discovered a message on my phone from Emily she had sent last night around midnight. Nerves overtook me as I opened the message and began to read.
E: Thank-you for accepting my friend request. I wasn’t sure if you would or not.
I took a minute to gather my emotions and began to type out a response to her.
C: I was hesitant at first but I’m glad that I did. How are you?
E: I’m good. I graduated last month and will be starting college in the Fall.
C: That’s fantastic! Where are you attending?
E: I’m still deciding but I am leaning towards Emory Atlanta.
Was she going to be back in Georgia? Would Andrew be there as well or would he stay wherever they live now? Do they still live together or does he live alone, or with a girlfriend? Keep the conversation neutral, don’t ask about Andrew.
C: You were always smarter than the rest of us! Are you still planning on being a lawyer?
E: Yes! I love the law and hope to be able to make a difference in the judicial system in this country.
C: I could always see you making a difference.
A knock on my door reminded me that Josh was waiting for me to head down for breakfast and my surprise.
C: I need to let you go. I’m meeting up with a friend but it was good catching up with you!
E: Can I contact you again or is it too weird?
C: Please contact me whenever you want to. No matter what, we were friends growing up and I am glad to be back in contact with you.
E: <3
I opened the door to Josh as I grabbed my purse and slid on my tennis shoes. That was the only hint I got from him, a dark t-shirt, jean shorts, and tennis shoes. It seemed like whatever we were doing today was going to be adventurous, or at least I hoped it would be.
“You look happy this morning.” Josh observed as we made our way to the hotel lobby for their amazing breakfast selection. They had all the wonderful things you would want for breakfast, from French toast and crepes to omelets and homemade biscuits and the strongest coffee I had ever had, Cajun chicory coffee to be specific. Very strong and very addictive.
“I woke up to a message from Emily and I was chatting with her when you got to my room.”
“And how did that go?” He asked as we made our selections and found a table to sit while they prepared our food.
“It went pretty good. I kept the conversation light and neutral. Nothing about him. She asked if she could contact me again and I told
her yes. We were friends when she was growing up and I’m glad she reached out to me.”
“You seem to be taking things better this morning.”
“I decided, no matter what, I want to be happy. I’m going to try and find out the answers to why he left the way he did, but not from her and not right now. Right now, I am ready for a life list adventure, a night of dancing, and a weekend to remember.” I told him as we tucked into our food.
“I’m proud of you. I was wondering how long it would take you to figure out your ability to be content and happy isn’t tied to Andrew. You have to find your own happiness in life, seize every opportunity that gives you joy, and reject anyone who tries to steal it from you.”
“I couldn’t agree more. New day, new start.” I said as we finished our meal and made our way to the car.
“You don’t know the half of it.” He joked as we pulled away from the hotel and got onto the interstate, taking us towards the bayou land outside of town. We drove for about 45 minutes when I began to see signs that may give a clue to where we are going.
‘AIRBOAT TOURS OF THE SWAMP WITH GATOR INTERACTIONS AHEAD’ was on the billboard we passed as we turned onto the road with more signs advertising the same.
“Are we going on an airboat tour?” I asked, bouncing in my seat and trying not to spaz out.
“We sure are! After watching all of those Archer cartoons with you, and you talking about how cool it was, how it should be on the list, Maddie and I decided that we needed to do it since we are here.” He explained as he pulled into the dirt lot in front of a wooden building. Next to it was a dock overlooking the swampy bayou and wetlands of lower Louisiana.
There was a line of people outside waiting on a boat to load up so they could begin their tour. We walked into the building and made our way towards the front counter. Josh checked in while I wandered around the small shop, looking at all the souvenirs they had to offer. I planned on buying a small gator claw for Maddie and some local sauces and smoked meats for Mom and Dad.
The Love That Heals Me (Forever Mine Book 2) Page 7