Body and Soul (The Chronicles of Light and Darkness Book 1)

by Jamie Loeak

swallowed. She looked at the ground instead of looking into Adriana’s dark eyes. She didn’t want to feel the power in their gaze. “I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you guys,” she started. “I’ve been in Orlando. My parents took off work for a couple days so we went on a vacation.”

  “You’ve got to let us know these things, Kate. Rico and I assumed that your parents were at work, and that you were home alone. When I stopped by a couple days ago to check on you no one was here. I freaked.”

  “I’m sorry, Adriana. I never meant to scare you,” Kate said as a warm blush colored her cheeks. She felt ashamed for scaring her friends, for making them think that something bad had happened to her, and she hoped that Adriana would forgive her as easily as last time.

  “It’s okay, Kate. I forgive you,” Adriana said with a smile that made Kate think that it was that easy. Adriana’s next comment, however, made Kate change her mind. It slammed into her chest with a force that was much greater than the car’s.

  “Now, you two need to talk. I hate to say that I’m going to stay here and listen to the two of you, but I don’t think you’ll work this whole puppy love thing out without me here to moderate things for you,” Adriana said. She crossed her arms, glancing back and forth between them.

  “What?” Kate asked. “You can’t intervene on people that aren’t addicts.”

  “You’re addicted to avoiding each other. I know that Rico never visited you in the hospital because he was moping around his room, whining about how he let you get hurt. And right now you won’t even look at each other. You haven’t even acknowledged him, Kate.”

  “Do you honestly think I should be the one to acknowledge him first?” Kate asked her seriously. “I think he knows how I feel already. I’m not going to make the first move every time. I’m not stupid.”

  Adriana rolled her eyes and looked over at Rico. “What was your response when she told you how she felt?”

  Rico grumbled and crossed his arms over his chest in defiance. He was silent for a moment, his eyes focused on the beach outside Kate’s window. After a few seconds, the silence was interrupted with his words. “I told her that we couldn’t; that we can’t do this,” he amended. “I think that we should stop this conversation now, Adriana. I don’t want to upset Kate; I don’t want to hurt her further.”

  “Oh, shut up Rico. You’re such a baby. I know how you feel about Kate. I can see it in the way you are with her. Saying that you can’t, doesn’t tell her how you feel. I think that, regardless of whatever excuse you’ve told yourself, Kate needs to hear the truth.” Adriana looked at Kate for confirmation.

  Kate stared at Adriana, becoming increasingly embarrassed. She was embarrassed for herself, for Rico, and for Adriana for insisting that this go on.

  “Stop it, Adriana.” Kate calmly said the words but her voice quivered with the sparks of annoyance.

  Adriana stopped.

  “You need to leave,” Kate said. “I don’t need you fighting my battles for me. And frankly, it hurts more when I’m reminded about how Rico feels. Don’t you think it’s hard enough for both of us already? I don’t think we need to make this any more awkward than it already is. We don’t want to be reminded about my feelings. It makes things worse; it makes them harder for everyone involved, especially me.”

  Adriana’s red-stained mouth fell open. Kate had never spoken to her like that before. The other times that the girls argued were half-hearted attempts at the truth, but it wasn’t this painful ache of desperation, and it clearly was never this real. “Okay,” Adriana murmured. Silently, she moved closer to the window, opened it, and jumped out. She landed on the deck below, a soft thud amongst the sound of racing hearts.

  Kate watched her go, her heart breaking. She began moving around her room, throwing things in her hamper, throwing things onto her counter, attempting to throw things onto her mess of a vanity; most of those things fell onto the floor. Rico watched her the whole time. He only moved when he saw tears falling into the bag that Kate was digging through. His strong arms pulled her up, his hands cupping her wet cheeks. He held her there for a moment longer than he normally would have.

  “I hate myself for causing this,” he started. His voice was a whisper that raced over her skin and tangled in her curls. “I’m so sorry for hurting you, but you need to understand that I can’t let myself fall for you, Kate. I just can’t do it.”

  “Why not?” Kate asked, her voice trembling. She was beyond caring what he thought of her. She was beyond protecting her pride from nothing. If she truly cared about him, she would always care what he thought but never too much; it’s how her parents were, and it’s how she wanted her love to be.

  Rico sighed, and decided that, once again, all Kate needed was the truth. She would always need the truth.

  “Kate, have you ever thought about what it would be like to have eternal life?”

  “Not really,” she said distractedly. “I was probably the only girl that liked the ending to Tuck Everlasting, though. I was happy that she chose to live, to really live a life - one life.”

  Rico smiled. “Do you remember the end of the story when he came back for her?”

  Kate looked up into Rico’s eyes, thinking that she knew where he was going with this. “Yes,” she said. “He was upset about her death but happy that she chose to live.”

  “Yes, he was. However, the movies don’t show what happens to him after that. If it was you and me, Kate, I wouldn’t be able to stand existing after realizing that you were gone. If I let myself, I could fall into you completely. I can’t do that. I can’t start falling, knowing that you won’t always be around to catch me. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

  Rico let go of Kate’s face now, aware that her soft lips were turning blue. He flinched and pushed himself away from her, grabbing the blanket from Kate’s bed and tossing it to her. Kate took it, unaware that she was cold until she started shivering.

  “I can’t even touch you without causing hypothermia,” he added angrily.

  “You don’t have to touch me,” Kate whispered. “I don’t care if we hold hands. We don’t even have to kiss or hug. I just want you to be around, Rico. I want to know that it’s okay to feel this way about you.” She looked into Rico’s cobalt eyes, searching his for some hint of affection or caring, something that she could hold on to.

  “Kate,” Rico said, “I can’t. I’m sorry, but I just can’t. You might think I’m strong, but I’m not. I’m not strong when it comes to you.”

  Kate sat there, playing with the handles of the now empty bag. She didn’t know what else to say or how to deal with this strange situation. She felt drained, tired from trying to untangle her feelings about Rico. She understood how he felt, though. If the roles were reversed she would be saying the same things he was.

  17

  Kate relaxed for the rest of the weekend. Each morning she woke before the sun, slipped on her running shoes and ran along the length of the beach. Afterwards, she would peel off her sweaty clothes and jump into the ocean. For the rest of the afternoon, she sat on a towel in the softest part of the sand, listening to music and reading books.

  At this time, she would allow herself to glaze over her latest conversation with Rico. He was right, and she knew that he would always be right. It wasn’t fair for her to insist that they try forming a relationship. Rico would be the one losing out in the long run; his eternal existence could be spent missing Kate. However, Kate would get older; she would appear older than Rico at some point. How long would they be able to stay together, knowing that one day Kate would be too old? In the end they would both lose everything.

  When Monday morning arrived, Kate found Erik in the kitchen, laughing with her parents. Her mother was cooking an entire continental breakfast. There were already muffins and waffles on the table, not to mention three kinds of juice. She was now frying up bacon and flipping omelets. The kitchen smelled wonderful; it filled the morning air with promise. However, the overall atmosphere was a
wkward for Kate. Something was weird about this arrangement, but Kate couldn’t figure out if it was just Erik’s persistence from the other night or if it was something more.

  After smiling politely at Erik, Kate slipped into the seat across from him. When breakfast was served, she stared at the food in front of her, not knowing where to start. After a moment of hesitation, she went for the bacon first. Kate’s mother rarely cooked real bacon; she was more of a turkey bacon type of person. Kate grabbed a chocolate chip muffin next and poured herself a glass of orange juice. She immediately stuffed her mouth with food so that she didn’t have to talk to anyone. All around Kate, the buzz of adult conversation filled the room, and she fell into her own comfortable silence as she ate.

  “So, Kate, do you want to stay long enough to attend school here in the fall?” Great. Erik had caught Kate at a time when she wasn’t chewing.

  “I guess so,” Kate replied. “I move so often that it doesn’t really matter to me. I can make friends anywhere I go so I don’t care.”

  Erik nodded and leaned over, grabbing a blueberry pancake from the stack. “Do you have any friends here?” he asked as he spread butter across it.

  “Kate made a couple of lovely friends here,” Blaire interjected. “I dare say that these are the closest friends she has ever had. She had