Bad Witch: A Snarky Paranormal Detective Story (A Cat McKenzie Novel Book 2)

by Lauren Dawes

  I tried really hard to keep my voice down, but judging from the stares of the few diners in the restaurant, I was failing. Kailon waved his hands around lazily, causing my ears to pop.

  “Did you do the bubble?” I asked, glancing around trying to see the damn thing. “That crazy-ass bubble that blocks things like you did in the witch’s apartment?”

  He looked smug. “I could murder you in your seat and nobody would see it.”

  I narrowed my eyes at the fae, annoyed. “Cleanup would be a bitch, though,” I told him. “How would you explain the body?”

  He shrugged, the fabric of his suit shifting like it was a second skin.

  “Tell me about Moira’s murder. I need to know everything.”

  He sighed, and his bravado slid off him until all I could see was a man… er, male who was still grieving. “I found her at her home. She’d been laid out like that other woman had been, her stomach opened up, symbols carved on her body.”

  “And she was a witch?” I had to be sure that the threads we’d already pulled together could take another strand. At his nod, I asked, “Can the fae also be witches?”

  “Yes.”

  “Tell me what her power was.”

  He took a sip from the glass of water on the table, then placed the tumbler back down carefully. “She could manipulate the will of supernatural creatures.”

  “Fuck,” I muttered, staring at him. The gremlin. Sawyer had said their brains were so small that they wouldn’t think to terrorize the city all on their own, but if it had been sent here, that was a different story. Clearly, the red-headed witch had also stolen Moira’s powers, but to what end? What was she trying to achieve?

  Kailon’s human guise melted away from view, replaced with those slitted reptilian eyes. “You know something, Cat McKenzie. Tell me what it is,” he demanded, the ‘s’ and ‘z’s of his words exaggerated and drawn out.

  “That’s not the deal we have,” I said carefully.

  He bared his sharp teeth, and I caught a flash of fangs. “We don’t have any deal.”

  “Then I’m definitely not telling you,” I shot back, thankful my breath stayed steady. It was never a good idea to show the monsters you were scared.

  “Fine,” he eventually said, everything about his appearance returning back to normal. With an irritated wave of his hand, Kailon broke the barrier that hid us from plain sight, and my ears popped. The soft chatter of the other diners and the clink of cutlery on fine porcelain plates filled the tense air between us, going stereo in my ears.

  “Are you ready to order, sir?” a server asked Kailon, popping up out of nowhere.

  Kailon rattled off a couple of dishes, then handed him back the menu.

  “I hope you don’t mind that I ordered for you,” he said after the server had gone, his civility back in place, although I could tell he was tense.

  “Would it have mattered if I did?” I replied. I hated men who assumed things I’d like to eat about as much as I found short jokes funny. Taking a sip of my water, I let out a deep breath and asked, “What’s going to happen to the witch when we catch her?”

  There was no inflection in his voice when he said, “I’m going to slowly torture her to death.”

  I raised my brows at him. “You do realize you just admitted premeditated murder to a police officer?”

  The smirk didn’t drop from his lips. “You yourself said you had no jurisdiction in Wonderland, so that’s a moot point. Whether I commit murder or not, if it’s done in Wonderland, you can’t do shit.”

  Dammit. I hated it when the bad guy was right. “Why did you do it?” I asked.

  “What?”

  “Why did you take on that job for Marcus Davis? The one who made you have an epic mantrum and reveal the existence of the supernaturals to the world?”

  His pale brows rose, his eyes dancing with amusement. “Mantrum? ”

  “A man-tantrum. They’re worse than any three-year-olds.”

  He actually laughed at that. “I like that, Cat. Mantrum,” he repeated, testing out the word. “But in answer to your question, I did it because that little fuck Davis pointed the finger at me in order to save his own skin. He was money-grubbing. He had no honor. Him throwing me under the bus like that only served to confirm that impression.”

  “Did you have to make it so… graphic? I mean, we saw everything.”

  “Yes. I needed everyone to understand that the fae aren’t to be fucked with. We’re not the winged, glitter-sprinkling balls of light so often depicted in the movies. The fae are a cruel race who adhere to the old ways.”

  And I was beginning to understand just how bound to the rules the fae were.

  “You said before that there were fae who controlled even you.”

  “There are.”

  “Who?”

  He paused for a beat, and I looked behind me to find the server approaching with our food. We both sat in strained silence while our meals were carefully laid out onto the table in front of us. Once the guy was gone, Kailon said, “There are two warring powers in Wonderland, the Seelie and the Unseelie courts. Two queens rule, one light and one dark. Astrid is the Seelie queen. She rules with benevolence and grace. Avi is the Unseelie queen. Where her sister is pure, malice corrupts her heart.”

  “Who’s ruling now?”

  “Avi, the Unseelie queen. Her dominion is in the seasons of fall and winter.”

  “And Astrid’s are spring and summer?”

  “And they each serve six months a year?”

  Kailon gestured to the risotto in front of me. “Please. It’s delicious.”

  I didn’t want to eat anything, but for the case, I would. Picking up my fork, I scooped up some rice and ate it.

  Kailon’s brows rose. “Good?”

  I swallowed. “It’s okay.” The fae smiled. “Are you going to answer my question?”

  “Time moves differently in Wonderland. Winter isn’t December through to February, nor is summer June through August. A queen’s rule can last decades, sometimes even centuries.”

  “What’s Avi like?”

  He smiled a serpent’s smile. “Mad. Murderous. Malicious.”

  I narrowed my eyes. “She sounds like a peach. Why are you telling me this? It can’t be common knowledge.”

  “It isn’t, but I feel like you need to trust me, Cat McKenzie, and the only way I know how to do that is to tell you truths that are generally not known. You know I cannot lie, so you know what I tell you now is truth.”

  Swallowing a mouthful of water, I considered his statement. Knowing he couldn’t lie to me did put me at ease, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t bend the truth as he knew it. Omission was just as dangerous as admission. “And what do you want from me in return?”

  He gave me another one of his cold smiles and sat forward to pick up his knife and fork. He cut into his bloody steak, his eyes on me the whole time. “I want to know all there is to know about you, Cat McKenzie. I want to know where you came from.”

  I swallowed. Playing this game with him was likely to leave me bleeding out. I didn’t want him to know more about me than he already did, but he was right. He shared, so I should share too. At least I got to choose what to share and how much.

  “My mother died when I was ten. My father when I was nineteen. I decided to join the Force after his death. I’ve lived in Buxton my whole life.”

  “Anything else?”

  I felt my opal pulse. “Nothing. I’m just a cop doing my time with PIG.”

  He cut a piece of steak and popped it into his mouth, chewing slowly. “I think we’re a lot alike, you and I.”

  “How do you figure?”

  “We both like to play games with the truth.”

  Nine

  “Girl, you came!” Sasha exclaimed, wrapping her arms around me carefully and squeezing. “I knew you couldn’t resist seeing Mike in his MMA shorts for that long,” she added with a wink.

  I laughed, the grin not falling from my lips becaus
e this was my happy place. I loved being in the fighting gym, that sense of belonging still strong even after my two-week absence.

  “You got me.”

  “So what are you doing here? Are you working out?”

  I shook my head. “No beating the crap out of things for another five or so months, I’m afraid. I just came to see if you wanted to go to dinner after class tonight. My treat to make up for the shitty-friend status of late.”

  “Yes! I’ve missed our regular catch-ups.”

  “All right, let’s get started,” Mike called out, ending our conversation.

  Sasha groaned, but there was a smile on her face. “The sadist awaits,” she told me with a smirk.

  “Hashtag blessed.”

  “I heard that, Sasha,” Mike yelled, making us both laugh.

  “Go, before he starts making you do box jump burpees as punishment.”

  Sasha shuddered, blew a kiss to me, then walked onto the mats with everyone else.

  “Everyone start warming up,” Mike told them. He watched for a moment before barking out, “Pick up your knees, I want to see them at torso height. No slacking… Jesus, Sasha, stop talking.”

  I smiled and sat back, insanely jealous as I watched the class I couldn’t be a part of for another torturous one hundred and fifty days—not that I was counting or anything. At least my knee had been healed. It was a small consolation, I guessed.

  When the class wrapped up and everyone started to leave the mats, Sasha walked toward me with her bag slung over her shoulder, that gorgeous sweat-sheen of hers all glowy.

  “Jesus, why can’t you be ugly when you sweat like everyone else?” I griped.

  She grinned, dabbing at her brow with a towel. “Jealous bitch.”

  I shrugged. It was true enough. “Are you ready to go?”

  “Yeah, let’s do it. I’m starving.”

  We waved goodbye to Mike on the way out, hitting the pavement and strolling toward the pizza place a few blocks away. It was one of those old-fashioned restaurants where you could grab just one oversized slice of whatever you wanted, and it would only cost you a couple of bucks.

  “How have you been?” she asked. “You know with everything that’s happened to you since the vampire thing?” I’d made sure to keep Sasha up to date with everything happening in my life. Her wrath was simply not worth it.

  “Ah, where to start.” I opened the door to the pizza place and stepped inside. “We’re working a new case right now. My apartment got condemned when two witches had a slugging match with magic. I moved in with Sawyer. A gnome healed my knee under my partner’s request. And my new truck got crushed by a gremlin.”

  “Oh,” she said casually. “Is that all?”

  Yeah, Sasha could handle my crazy shit. “You want the usual?”

  She nodded. “I’ll grab a table.”

  I wandered up to the counter and smiled at the guy standing behind it. “Dante, how’s things?”

  Dante was a first-generation Italian who ate, breathed, and slept his restaurant. “How are you, Cat? You and Sash want the usual?”

  “Please. And can we grab a couple of beers to go with it?” I asked, putting on my pretty please face.

  Dante grumbled something about being too soft on them and ducked into the back to grab some beers from his personal stash. He wasn’t supposed to serve alcohol—he wasn’t licensed to—but it wasn’t like I was going to rat him out. I’d lose my favorite pizza place.

  He returned with our drinks and slices, and I dutifully carried them on a tray over to Sasha, who was sitting at our regular table.

  “Twist Dante’s arm again?” she asked, taking a sip of her beer.

  “I have to use this badge for something good, right?”

  She laughed.

  “So, are you still seeing Dylan?”

  “Dylan?” She looked confused. “Oh! Dylan, the plumber, is gone.”

  “Why?”

  “He had a weird little toe on his left foot. Seriously, it looked like a peanut… a shriveled, flesh-colored peanut.”

  “Oh, yeah,” I replied dryly. “You gotta kick those guys to the curb.”

  Sasha stuck her tongue out at me. “Dylan was replaced by Shane.”

  “Shane the…?” We’d devised a system not too long ago to give each guy a title based on either his profession and/or a descriptive adjective for the size of his dick. That way, Sasha (read: me) could keep all the men in her life straight.

  A dreamy sigh. “Chef.”

  “Got it. What’s he like?”

  She shrugged. “Doesn’t matter because he was replaced by Brad, the personal trainer, a couple of days ago.”

  “What was wrong with Shane?”

  “He didn’t go down on me enough.”

  I coughed, spraying beer everywhere. “I have no words, Sash.”

  She barked a laugh. “Ha! That’ll be a first.”

  She took a bite of her Hawaiian pizza. “Brad’s amazing, though. He’s so fucking good in bed, too. You know, he’s one of those men who makes sure his partner is satisfied multiple times before getting his own O.”

  “How big is his dick?” I knew Sasha. She measured them all and plotted them on a chart.

  “A solid eight,” she replied.

  “Lucky girl,” I murmured.

  “So, what about you? I hardly know what’s going on in your life anymore. Are you dating? Have you met someone?”

  Snagging one of the paper napkins from the holder in the center of the table, I wiped my fingers, then crushed it in my hand. “Unless you count the fae assassin I had lunch with today… no.”

  “Did you know he was fae? Did you know he was an assassin? Oh, girl, please don’t tell me you let him between your legs.”

  I threw the greasy napkin at her. “I didn’t. And eww… I only met him because he’s supposed to be helping with our case.”

  “All right. What about you and Sawyer?”

  “What about me and Sawyer,” I asked warily.

  She dropped her slice onto the paper plate and stared at me. “Cat, please, you’ve been silently drooling over your partner for weeks now.”

  “You know, drooling by definition is a silent action,” I pointed out. “And it’s not been weeks. It’s been two weeks. Weeks like you said it implies, like, five. At least three.”

  “Semantics.”

  I dropped my half-eaten slice of pizza onto my paper plate and drained my beer. “Nothing can happen. There’s too much at stake.”

  She rolled her eyes. “I’m not talking about getting married to the guy here. I just think you should screw him and get it out of your system. At least then, you’ll know exactly what it’s like and you’ll be able to move on and focus on finding an emotionally available man.”

  “What? That’s a terrible idea.”

  “But with everything else that’s happening in your life, I think you should cut your losses and get an orgasm out of it.”

  “What if it damages everything, though?”

  She heaved a heavy sigh like we’d talked about this ad nauseam before. “Have you actually discussed this with him?”

  “Kind of? He admitted he had feelings for me, but we both agreed it would ruin our relationship if we gave in to the impulse. Plus, given his nature, he couldn’t remain faithful. It’s physically impossible.”

  Sasha plucked her own napkin from the holder and dabbed at her mouth. “Okay, so this is me looking at it from a purely analytical point of view. You both want to fuck each other’s brains out. The fact that you almost did at that club kinda proves that.”

  I wanted to point out that we were under the influence of a spell at that time, but she waved away my questioning look.

  “You also don’t want to break the dynamic you have at work, and I totally get that. You already know he’ll be sleeping with other people after you guys have your one night together, so what you need to do is convince yourself that it’s just a fuck. No emotions means you can both get what you need, rig
ht?”

  “I feel like you skirted right around the ruination of our working relationship,” I muttered.

  “And I feel like you’re using it as an excuse. You’re a woman who knows what she wants, and what you want is Sawyer’s dick, so why don’t you go and get it?”

  “This has to be the worst advice I’ve ever heard,” I muttered, poking my finger into the cooling cheese on my slice. “So you’re saying I should sleep with him, ignore my emotions, and get on with life?”

  She wiped her hands on the napkin. “Yeah. Pretty much that. If things get strained, that’s on you. He was honest about what he could give you. You can either choose to accept that or not, but if I were you, I’d be all over it. The guy is to-die-for smoking hot.”

  “Your advice is the most convoluted shit I’ve ever heard.”

  “Stop thinking and start feeling,” she added, punctuating each word with a jab of her finger into my arm. Tilting her head to the side, she looked at the watch on my wrist. “Shit, is that the time? Brad said he was coming around tonight.” She stood, slinging her sports bag over her shoulder.

  “Wouldn’t want to keep lover boy waiting then,” I said with a smirk. “Go get that dick.”

  She held up her hand for a high-five. “You, too.”

  I finished off my slice of pizza, then waved goodbye to Dante as I left.

  “Be careful out there, Cat,” he called.

  “Will do.”

  Stepping from the restaurant, I huddled into my jacket and began the three-block walk back to Sawyer’s apartment. I glanced around, frowning at the dim lighting. Normally, the lights of the city buildings were almost offensively bright in the darkness, but tonight they seemed dull in comparison. The new moon hovering above in the inky sky didn’t do much to improve the visibility of the ice-slick sidewalks either.

  The wind came up then, pushing at my back. Whipping around me in a violent gust, it filled my ears with howling whistles and white noise. Burrowing deeper into my jacket, I peered up into the night sky only to have my eyeballs sandblasted by the icy wind. Squinting to ease the sting, I focused on my feet and trying not to fall on my ass as I hustled back to the apartment as fast as I could. Something didn’t feel right here.