by Dawn Brower
He held his hand to his heart. “Such concern for…cocoa. How endearing.”
Ohhhh. She wanted to smack that smug smile off of his face. How dare he condescend to her. “I’m not the one day drinking. Life not what you expected it to be?” A low blow, but he’d pissed her off. Only he could turn her into this…shrew. She hated herself for saying it, but she couldn’t stop herself either.
“You’re right, of course,” he answered and continued to drink the cocoa “Still not going to stop me from enjoying my hard hot cocoa.”
He turned on his heels and left Serendipity Lane. Ivy’s heart beat heavily in her chest and guilt flooded her gut. She’d been so mean. Somehow she had to figure out how to find some middle ground. She shouldn’t treat the man she loved so harshly. He’d made mistakes, but so had she. Her bitterness was controlling her and she wanted to let go of it. Somehow, some way, she’d figure out how to do that.
Chapter 4
Gabriel stumbled on the sidewalk and fell forward landing on a nearby bench. He hit it hard, but it was far better than hitting the ground. It might have been harder to get off the ground than the bench. He didn’t know how much he had managed to drink, but he couldn’t recall the last time he’d been this drunk. If ever… The entire town of Kismet Bay was spinning in circles.
He’d abandoned his Santa mug somewhere… He couldn’t recall where, but he’d given up on the pretense of being interested in the cocoa. He’d only really wanted one cup. Ivy’s… After that he hadn’t really cared. He’d refilled his flask after a quick stop at the local liquor store and continued to sip from it through the rest of the cocoa crawl. Nicholas had left him when Holly finished at Serendipity Lane and the cocoa crawl ended. Gabriel had continued to drink. It was the only thing that numbed his pain.
What was he doing? This was no way to live his life, and yet, he couldn’t figure out what step he should take next. Coming back to Kismet Bay had seemed to be the right decision. Being around Ivy… He never should have chosen his career over her, but he didn’t want to have regrets. Turned out leaving her was the biggest regret of his life. It soured his stomach thinking about living without her. The alcohol churning in there didn’t help either… He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. The spinning only worsened and he laid down on the bench in the hope it would help ease his discomfort.
“What are you doing?”
Ivy… Of course it was Ivy. He slowly lifted one of his eyelids and caught the sight of her delectable legs, and then trailed upward taking in her full appearance. She’d dressed in a red Santa inspired dress and matching caplet. A wide black belt emphasized her narrow waist. He’d admired her decision earlier. Her black hair spilled down her back in waves. If he didn’t think he’d fall on his face he’d stand to meet her gaze, and maybe touch her hair to revel in its silky softness. Since he was incapable of standing straight he stayed where he was. “What does it look like I’m doing?” His words slurred.
“You’re drunk.” Disgust was etched in her voice. If he hoped to win her back this was not the way to do it. He had to get his stuff together.
“Maybe I am.” Oh, that was brilliant. He’d roll his eyes but everything had just stopped spinning. He didn’t want to add to it.
“There is no maybe about it.” She continued to stare down at him. “Are you going to continue to stay there all night?”
He’d been thinking about it. The idea of going home hadn’t appealed to him. “Why do you care?”
She was silent for several seconds. “I don’t know,” she said it so softly he almost didn’t hear it. “But I do. More than I like to admit…even to myself.”
His heart hurt. Gabriel had done this to her. Made her bitter and angry. If he could fix it he would, but he didn’t even know where to begin. Perhaps an apology... Would she even accept it?
“Come on…sit up,” she ordered.
“Why?” He was actually starting to get comfortable.
“You can’t stay out here. My apartment isn’t far and you can crash on my sofa until morning.”
He should say no, but it was more than he ever expected her to offer to him. A relationship between them might not be a complete lost cause. If she could be kind to him now perhaps she could come to love him again. He may have ruined everything in the past, but he could, maybe, have her love once again. It might be too much to hope for, but he had to believe it possible. Otherwise…he truly had lost everything. “All right,” he agreed and sat up. He wobbled as he came to his feet. She stepped up and wrapped her arm around his waist.
“Let me help you,” she said. Gabriel was just grateful to revel in her closeness. To have her touch him even if it was to make sure he didn’t fall on his face.
They walked slowly to her apartment and climbed the stairs. He managed to get up them in one go and didn’t stumble…much. He pressed his head to the wall in an attempt to stay upright as she unlocked the door. She pushed it open and stepped inside. Gabriel managed to stumble inside and make it to her couch. He fell more than sat on it.
“Glad to see you have a little sense of direction.” Her voice had a hint of amusement in it. “I’ll grab you a blanket and pillow.”
His eyes were closed and he would have fallen asleep but she was coming back. He didn’t want to miss any time with her. She stepped over him and flicked the blanket open, then placed it over him. “Here you go,” she said. “Lift your head so I can put your pillow under it.” She was kneeling before him on the sofa.
Gabriel did as she instructed. He opened his eyes and met her gaze as she slid the pillow under his head. He reached up and touched her hair. “You’re so beautiful.” His voice was hoarse as he spoke. “If I could choose again I’d choose you.”
A tear slipped from her eye. He wiped it away with the pad of his thumb. “Some things can’t be fixed.” Her lips wobbled as she spoke. “You can’t go back.”
“But we can move forward…”
She shook her head. “There’s too much you don’t know.”
“Then tell me…” He hated that he hurt her. Gabriel would do anything to change that. She was right though. He couldn’t undo his previous choices. All he could do was move forward.
“When you left…” She paused and took a deep breath. “I didn’t tell you…you had made your decision. I didn’t want to get in your way so I kept it a secret, and then it didn’t matter because I…” She glanced away and said in a low tone, “I was pregnant but I lost the baby. So in the end I had nothing left of you.”
His heart shattered. Gabriel couldn’t say anything to that. How could she have not told him? Would it have made a difference? Did it now? He was drunk, but he’d never forget what she’d said. “I’m sorry.” The words were inadequate, but they needed to be said. “Maybe one day you can forgive me.”
She shook her head and stood. “There’s nothing left to forgive. Get some sleep. She walked away before he could respond. Ivy had given him a lot to think about…
Chapter 5
Ivy had left Gabriel sleeping on her sofa. She hadn’t wanted to face him and left to open Serendipity Lane. She had actually arrived an hour before the store officially opened, but that hadn’t mattered. The store held one thing that made it more appealing than her apartment—there was no Gabriel around to make her feel embarrassed. She still couldn’t believe she’d finally told him about the baby. He was drunk though. Perhaps he’d fail to remember it.
“You’re here early,” Holly said as she came from the back room. “I thought you’d take the day off. You had a rough day yesterday.”
“I’d rather work,” she told her. What she didn’t say was that Gabriel had spent the night in her apartment. That would take the conversation in a direction she did not want to go. “I’d just wallow in self-pity if I stayed home.” And she wouldn’t be able to avoid Gabriel…
“I suppose,” Holly replied. “I’m going over to Witch’s Brew for coffee. Would you like me to bring something back?”
She
could use a jolt of caffeine. “Yes, bring me my usual.”
“One white chocolate mocha coming up,” she said. “I’ll make sure to have extra whip cream added too.”
“Thanks, sis, you’re the best.” Ivy grinned. Holly knew her too well.
“Don’t you know it.” Holly winked. “We’ll discuss the Christmas Eve sale when I return. I have some ideas for those last minute shoppers that want to find something extra special. I’ll explain later.” With those words Holly flitted out the door like a fairy who had lost her wings. She floated, but not always gracefully so she bounced around instead.
The door opened and bells rang through the store announcing the presence of someone. “Did you forget something?” Ivy asked without glancing up. Holly could be absentminded at times.
“Yes,” a man said. “I forgot to tell you I love you.”
Ivy looked up and met Gabriel’s gaze. Why did he have to come in? His eyes were bloodshot and he looked like hell. “I thought you’d sleep longer. I left you a note.”
“I appreciate it,” he said. “You were quite welcoming when we both know I don’t deserve it.”
Gabriel moved farther into the room. He stopped at the counter and placed a box down. It was small, white, and tied with a silver bow. “I’ve had this for years. I had hoped one day to give it to you, but well, you know what decisions I made instead.”
She stared down at the box. Ivy was afraid to open it and see what was inside of it. “What is it?”
“Open it up and find out,” he suggested.
Ivy picked up the box but she didn’t open it. She stared at it as if it had grown horns and would attack her at any moment. “You’ve had this for how long?”
“Since the last Christmas we were together…before I was offered the scholarship. I had grand dreams and I wanted you to be a part of them all. I never imagined that I’d leave and you’d stay. I started carrying it with me since I returned…I don’t know…hoping…” He swallowed hard. “Open it.”
She pulled on the ribbon and untied it. Ivy let the silver ribbon float to the counter. Slowly she lifted the lid and pulled out a blue velvet box. She set the white box down an held the blue velvet box in her palm. Ivy was afraid to open it. She had a feeling she knew what it was. She flipped open the top and a ring was nestled inside. It was a snowflake on a platinum band. Around the snowflake was tiny sapphires that outlined the edge making it sparkle like blue ice. “I don’t understand.”
“It’s not an engagement ring,” he said “It was meant to be a promise. That no matter what we’d always be together and you could count on me. I couldn’t give it to you when I realized that I couldn’t make that promise. If I’d known about the baby…” He paused a moment and took a breath. “It might have changed things. I would like to say I’d have stayed, but I was selfish. I hate that I left you and I want to try to make that up to you. If you’ll let me I would like to make that promise to you now.”
She swallowed hard. Her emotions were overwhelming her. “This is too much…” She wanted to tell him that she could give him another chance. That she still loved him. “You just returned.”
“I know. I’m willing to wait as long as it takes. You’re worth it. All I’m asking is for a chance to prove that I love you.”
“What happens if you find a miracle and can return to football? Will you leave me again?”
He shook his head. “I’d like to think I’ve learned from my mistakes. Even if I could play again I’d still stay here. It took me a long time to realize what was important. I only hope its not too late.”
She pulled the ring out of the box. “I won’t wear this now. I want you to hold on to it and if you’re still here in a year ask me again.” She placed the ring back inside and closed the lid, then handed it back to him.
“I can do that. I’ll do it as many Christmases as it takes until you say yes. I never stopped loving you.”
“I love you too,” she said softy. “But sometimes love isn’t enough.”
“I know,” he agreed. “But it will be for us. I plan on spending every Christmas with you until we finally find our happy ending.”
Christmas ever after…it had a nice ring to it. She smiled. “I look forward to your efforts.” He leaned over the counter and pressed his lips to hers. This was not how she expected her day to go, but it was much better. They might not find their happy ending, but they were at least happy for now.
About The Author
USA TODAY Bestselling author, DAWN BROWER writes both historical and contemporary romance. There are always stories inside her head; she just never thought she could make them come to life. That creativity has finally found an outlet.
Growing up she was the only girl out of six children. She raised two boys into productive young men. There is never a dull moment in her life. Reading books is her favorite hobby and she loves all genres.
She is active on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To follow her or can find more about her check out her website for the pertinent information: www.authordawnbrower.com.
Also by Dawn Brower
Standalone
Broken Pearl
Deadly Benevolence
A Wallflower’s Christmas Kiss
A Gypsy’s Christmas Kiss
Snowflake Kisses
Kindred Lies
Diamonds Don’t Cry
* * *
Begin Again
There You’ll Be
Better as a Memory
Won’t Let Go
* * *
Enduring Legacy
The Legacy’s Origin
Charming Her Rogue (Linked Across Time 11)
* * *
Scandal Meets Love
Love Only Me (Amanda Mariel)
Find Me Love (Dawn Brower)
If It’s Love (Amanda Mariel)
Odds of Love (Dawn Brower)
Christmas at Fortuna’s Parlor (Dawn and Amanda)
Believe in Love (Amanda Mariel)
Chance of Love (Dawn Brower)
* * *
Bluestockings Defying Rogues
When An Earl Turns Wicked
A Lady Hoyden’s Secret
One Wicked Kiss
Earl In Trouble
All the Ladies Love Coventry
One Less Scandalous Earl
Coming Soon
Confessions of a Hellion
The Vixen in Red
* * *
Marsden Descendants
Rebellious Angel
Tempting An American Princess
Loving an American Spy
How to Kiss a Debutante
* * *
Marsden Romances
A Flawed Jewel
A Crystal Angel
A Treasured Lily
A Sanguine Gem
A Hidden Ruby
A Discarded Pearl
* * *
Novak Springs
Cowgirl Fever
Dirty Proof
Unbridled Pursuit
Sensual Games
Christmas Tempatation
* * *
Linked Across Time
Saved by My Blackguard
Searching for My Rogue
Seduction of My Rake
Surrendering to My Spy
Spellbound by My Charmer
Stolen by My Knave
Separated from My Love
Scheming with My Duke
Secluded with My Hellion
Coming Soon
Secrets of My Beloved
Spying on My Scoundrel
Shocked by My Vixen
* * *
Heart’s Intent
One Heart to Give
Unveiled Hearts
Heart of the Moment
Kiss My Heart Goodbye
Heart in Waiting
* * *
Broken Curses
The Enchanted Princess
The Bespelled Knight
The Magical Hunt
* * *
Ever Beloved
Forever My Earl
Always My Viscount
Infinitely My Marquess
Eternally My Duke
* * *
Kismet Bay
Once Upon a Christmas
New Year Revelation
All Things Valentine
Luck At First Sight
Endless Summer Days
A Witch’s Charm
All Out of Gratitude
Christmas Ever After
Excerpt: Confessions of a Hellion
Bluestockings Defying Rogues Book Seven
Dawn Brower
Prologue
Weston Manor, 1823
They entered the ballroom. It was already filled to capacity. Even if they remained wallflowers, they’d be unable to avoid all the guests. Everyone must have accepted the invite. The Duke and Duchess of Weston didn’t entertain often, and they were all probably curious. Lady Samantha couldn’t blame them. She had been rather intrigued herself. She loved balls and dancing. Being invited to one of the exclusive country events at the end of the season thrilled her. She scanned the room for the duchess and found her on the far edge of the dance floor.
Marian only cared about one thing. Securing the Duchess of Weston’s assistance in learning to be a doctor. She glanced around the room until she located her, then turned to Samantha and Kaitlin. “If you’ll excuse me,” she said to them. “I’m going to talk to the duchess.”
“Don’t forget to ask her this time,” Samantha said. “I see Lord Darcy; I’m heading in his direction.” She didn’t really want the Earl of Darcy’s attention, but it sounded good to say she wanted to dance with him. “I’d hate for him to not be able to locate me. Come with me, Katie, so I’m not standing alone.”