“Oh! Yeah. It’s great. It’s light and open, clean, surprisingly beautiful,” I said as I wondered again at the sight of the home around me.
“Yeah, well, I wanted my own space, a little peace in this home. Is that a crime?” His voice was suddenly hard, again.
“No,” I snapped. “It’s just not what I expected, that’s all.”
“Ah. And what did you expect, pray tell?” Ash’s expression was grating on my every nerve. Maybe a hard dose of honesty would wipe that smirk off his smug face.
“You know... black leather, bear skin rugs, full bar, sex dungeon, whips, chains, handcuffs…” I said as I finally looked at Ash.
Then something amazing happened. Ash laughed. Not arrogantly or tauntingly, not at anyone else’s expense or to intimidate, and not a contrived fake laugh for effect, he just laughed. And it was the most disarmingly beautiful sound I’d ever heard. It sounded like music woven together with an animalistic rumble deep in his chest that made my heart clench, amongst other things. It was also incredibly soothing. I heard a rustle, and I felt my wings settle back against my body as Ash chuckled.
“Sorry, that's in my other house.” He was relaxed and open, all the weight he usually carried seemed to have been lifted from him, and he grinned this grin that said he was totally at peace in this moment, and it was striking.
I looked away to give my senses a momentary reprieve and came face to face with Jade, who seemed to be watching our exchange with avid curiosity. I swallowed and turned back to face the den.
“Babe, are you sure you don’t want to go change out of those bloody clothes before we do this?”
“No. I can change after. I just wanna get this part over with. I need to be out of the dark, at least partially. Everything else can happen while I’m processing.”
“Yeah, that might take a little while.”
“I promise. As soon as this conversation is over, or at a decent stopping point, I’ll clean up and change clothes. Deal?”
“Deal,” she said.
Then Ash sauntered back in, somehow still more graceful than most while carrying 3 cups of coffee. After he handed them to us, he reclaimed his armchair in the corner. I inhaled deeply, then took a sip and groaned embarrassingly before looked up at Ash, incredulous. “Is this cinnamon and coconut?”
“Yeah. I hope that’s okay.”
“Yeah, it’s delicious. Thank you.”
“Cinnamon in the grounds, coconut milk and a touch of maple syrup.”
“Yeah, I can taste it. This is exactly how I like my coffee. How did you know?”
“Oh, um…”
He and Jade shared another look I didn’t understand. I wonder if there’s something going on between them… Jealousy rose up in my chest, unexpectedly. What the hell? Luckily, I didn’t have the time to over-analyze it as Ash continued.
“It’s how Andrew always took his coffee,” Ash continued, watching me in a way that made me suspicious he might know what I’d been thinking. “I guess I picked it up from him.”
“Huh, I only ever saw him take it black.”
“Yeah, I don’t know. Maybe it reminded him of you when you were apart.”
Jade gaped at Ash accusingly, which I didn’t understand, and I turned back to Ash, regarding him thoughtfully for a minute.
“Thank you,” I whispered, smiling weakly and hoping he understood that I didn’t just mean for the coffee. Despite Ash’s proclivity toward behaving like a grade-A asshat, he’d also done me incredible kindnesses since I’d arrived. It made me wonder exactly what he might be hiding that caused him to behave the way he did. I had a pretty good idea who’d hurt him. It was the same person who’d hurt all of us, the man who’d murdered Andrew, the man whose life I’d taken, and for the first time, just for a moment, I didn’t feel guilty for taking it.
8
Alex
“Alright, I think Ash has a few stories of his own to share when I’m done. Your childhood seems to have been more fucked up than I realized. Otherwise, I guess we’re ready for story-time. First, you should know most of the myths and legends and religions in the world are based on at least a little truth. Some more than others, but most are based on some sliver of what I’m about to tell you.
“The shortened layman’s version is: In the beginning, there was only magic. Energy. That magic eventually became the Entity. As the Entity became more focused, so did the magic It consisted of. Magic is really just energy, and that energy condensed until eventually the energy grew too concentrated and BAM! The blast and the subsequent dispersion of all that energy created the universe as you know it. That Entity and that event is what all of your creation theories are based on. Some refer to it as the Big Bang, others refer to it as God’s Creation but it’s all so far beyond human understanding that no one has it quite right.”
My eyes were so wide that I could feel the ache setting into the muscles holding my lids open. “So, when you said, ‘start at the beginning,’ you meant the beginning,” I clarified. I was skeptical at best. This was starting to sound a little like a Sunday school lesson, but something was happening to me and I needed to know what, so I nodded and listened.
Jade simply smiled patiently and continued. “Everything exists in balance. Yin and Yang. The Entity’s Creation and Light were balanced by Destruction and Darkness. There are elementals that can be manipulated by Light and Darkness, and those which can be touched by neither. At the release, everything created was imbued with Its magic. Pieces of Its Spirit, Its Magic, exist within everything. The Entity is neither good nor evil, but simply is. It is all things and none...
“Many, many worlds were created. Many races and realms. For now, let’s focus on those directly involved in this: the angels, the demons, the humans, and Earth. Angels were created of Light and demons born of Darkness. Their worlds exist separately from us and from each other. Heaven and Hell, as it were, only not as you might imagine them.
“Earth is separate, neutral. It exists in either Light or Darkness. The humans were formed of Earth and were, therefore, neither Light nor Dark, but capable of being influenced by either. Primarily existing in the Light, the Earth and the humans were still capable of falling into Darkness. This aberration created shadows in reality, pockets where Darkness could exist within the Light. And so began the Corruption. The demon races began using these pockets, or the Shadow Realm, to corrupt mankind.”
A shudder crept down my spine, beginning at the base of my skull and slithering slowly down into my gut. Listening to the damnation of humanity described in such a clinical way made it feel more real than it ever had. The sermons at church and my Sunday School lessons had made it sound so distant, theoretical and magical, but this magic-based explanation felt somehow far more real, visceral.
I swallowed and tried to shake off the creeps when Jade held up one finger and added, “Sidebar: I think that’s where you might’ve been when that monster tried to turn you into a snack after the wedding, although I’m unclear how your dream dumped you into the Shadow Realm, so remind me to come back to that later.”
Well, shit. That doesn’t sound good. I nodded, unblinking, and swallowed again as she continued.
“Seeing the Corruption, some of the angels revolted, resulting in what you call the Fall, and others, determined to protect The Entity’s Creation, formed the Veil to separate the Fallen and the demons from mankind. The Veil also separated them from the angels, just in case any future sect should change their mind. The only way to bind the magic was to anchor it. It couldn’t be anchored to an angel or they would control it, and humankind was too weak, so they turned to the first nephilim, the children of the Watchers.”
“Weren't they monsters?” I was totally immersed in the story she was weaving for me, even if it did sound like a twisted Sunday School lesson. But I also remembered most of my Sunday School lessons.
“No. One of the many things your histories have gotten wrong. The half-angel, half-human children were extremely powerful, h
alf Light but also half Earth. The almost godly power of their angel parents, but with free will and the same potential to be manipulated by the Darkness as their human parents. Many were infected by the Darkness, a demon plague. That is what turned them into bloodthirsty monsters. Monsters you would know as vampires.”
“I’m sorry, Vampires?”
“Yep.”
“Vampires are real?”
“Yes.”
Vampires... Okay. “And vampires are nephilim?”
“Not exactly. The children of their darkest moments, the humans they’ve turned, they are truly vampires, but the Dark Nephilim are the originals, and they are much more powerful than vampires.”
“Hokay… vampires are real. Cool.” Deep breath, Alex.
Jade barely stifled a smile but continued to watch me warily as she continued. “Some of the originals still exist. The guilty that bear the burden of protecting humankind from the Dark children created by their own weakness. The story your patriarchal history does not tell, is that some of the Watchers were female and took human husbands. Much like all species, the mothers imbued the children they carried with their own immunities. Unlike other species, the nephilim are powerfully magical beings, godlike, and retained their immunity to the darkness, shadows and demon plagues that tormented the remainder of their race. They were fully powered angelic beings with the free will of man, the ability to exist in either Light or Darkness, and completely immune to corruption. They are extremely powerful beings, often depicted as gods and goddesses in the histories and myths of your world.”
“Do they still exist?”
“They’re around. They stay hidden, blend with humanity. Though most haven’t been heard from in many, many ages, they’re basically immortal. That’s why the angels chose them. A Light Nephilim named Caium was chosen to act as the anchor for the Veil. To keep the magic in place and out of the control of angels or demons. His human mate was gifted an angelic form and power to protect her from Corruption and to help protect Caium and humanity from anyone or anything that might try to destroy the Veil, becoming the first Guardian.”
Guardian, a voice purred in my mind, and Jade cocked her head almost like she’d heard it, too. She stared at me for a long moment, and then, watching me with narrowed eyes, continued with my history lesson.
“Caium began aging slowly, but aging, nonetheless. The drain of Anchoring the Veil was considerable, but we believe it may have something to do with being separated from the full force of the angelic magic in Heaven. It became clear to him after many centuries that he would die, eventually. The anchoring would have to be transferred. As his strength waned, so did the bond. Only the angels knew the magic used, and we couldn’t reach them beyond the Veil. Caium’s son had a mate who was a powerful witch, so they enlisted the help of her coven.
“Having lost contact with the other nephilim, when the time came, he chose to pass his legacy to his son, and his son agreed. The coven did the best they could with unfamiliar magic, but the Anchoring and the Veil were weakened. Caium’s mate refused to leave his side, distraught at the idea of an eternal life without him, so the Guardian form and power bestowed on her were also transferred to his son’s mate, Maijh.”
“And that’s what was happening at the wedding,” I verified.
“Yep. In the second the transfer of power was completed, Maijh, was granted a vision from the angels. The weakened Veil wouldn’t allow the angels through, but it did allow them to warn us of the future they’d glimpsed. And don't think I didn't see that eye roll Ash”—she snapped her head toward the arm chair he was lounging in—“this prophecy concerns all of us. She needs to know.”
“That's assuming I believe there is a prophecy,” Ash interrupted.
“Oh, honey, there is definitely a prophecy. You can choose not to believe in it, but the monsters exist whether you have a blanket pulled over your head or not. The world will burn while you sit on your front porch sipping lemonade pretending nothing’s wrong.”
“What did the prophecy say?” I interjected before their charming tete-a-tete could escalate further.
Jade’s head snapped back toward me. “That the Anchor would fall, and the Veil would one day be destroyed, unleashing Hell on Earth and beginning a war to end all wars.” Her ominous tone sent shivers down my spine, until she leveled me with the power in her gaze and even my shivers froze.
“And that an unforeseen Guardian would rise, either reuniting the magics that had been divided and bringing about the end of the war, or failing and bringing about the end of everything.”
“Oh, that's not all. You’re forgetting the best part. What about the F—”
“Now is not the time, Ash,” she interjected, challenging him with her gaze until he averted his eyes. I wasn’t sure why, but… “Yeah, didn’t think so,” she continued. “Now, zip it.”
“And you think this has something to do with me,” I guessed.
“Yes. Now please hold all further questions until the end of the story... Lucifer got wind of both the transfer AND the prophecy.”
“Wait…” I closed my eyes and lifted my hand to stop her. “I’m sorry… Lucifer?”
“Mmm…”
“Like, Lucifer, Lucifer?”
“You know another one?”
Jade raised both eyebrows at me and patiently waited for me to get with the program again so she could continue.
I didn’t know why, but there were certain truths of this story that were simply harder to swallow than others. Vampires had been difficult to buy, but Lucifer? The Fallen Angel. I was hit with a sudden realization of how infinitesimal my life really was and a new understanding of the nature of evil. That it might not exist within each of us in some theoretical fashion based on our choices, but that evil might, in fact, have a completely physical form, a manifestation capable of horrors I could not yet comprehend.
“My head hurts...” I took a deep breath and sighed audibly. “How?”
“No idea. Maybe a spy within the coven? In the end, it doesn’t matter. Luci found out and, understanding the angelic magic better than most, found a way through the weakened Veil during the transfer. He cursed the witch coven, attempting to steal their magic and prevent any further transfers, thus, ending the Veil.
“The factor he didn’t account for was the origin of the witch’s magic. The witch’s magic comes from the Earth, and the Earth Goddess, looks after her children. She protected them, bound their magic into the form of an animal and stitched it to the very fabric of their souls, giving them a second form: that of a wolf. It prevented their magic from ever being stolen, but it limited it to their transformation, the Anchor, and the Guardian, creating the race of werewolves, and inextricably tying them to Caium’s line.
“The mates of the nephilim children were chosen exclusively from the coven turned pack from then on, and after many generations it became clear there was a reproductive limitation between the races. Only one, sometimes two, children were born and rarely a daughter. The magic was waning with each generation. The Anchor, Veil and Guardians became weaker with each transition.”
I’d been so entranced by her fairytale that I’d almost forgotten the gravity of the information she was laying on me. Jade’s eyes looked far away, and I began to wonder about her part in all this.
“Anyway…” she seemed to shake off her reverie to continue. “Here we are. The Veil was already frighteningly weak, and Andrew was the last in a long line of Anchors. Well, not the last,” she said with a pointed look at Ash. “And Claire was to be his Guardian and mate, only he chose you. Not that I disagree with his taste in women,” Jade winked at me.
“So, why did…” My voice stalled, and I swallowed. I wasn't sure I could finish, but Ash saved me the trouble.
“Why did choosing you sentence my brother to a sudden and violent death at our father's hands?” Ash asked for me through a sickly-sweet smile, though his voice dripped with bitterness, which surprised me a bit. I had no doubt he’d loved his
brother, but this was the response of someone who’d just lost everything that mattered to him. Maybe there were more family secrets Andrew had been keeping. But why?
I simply nodded. I couldn't speak. The weight of the guilt and doubt creeping in was almost too much to bear.
Ash saved me by continuing with a weighted sigh, “Honestly, I don’t know. Other than the simple fact that my father was an evil bastard… and a narcissistic psychopath. His way was the only way, he believed in harsh rules and harsher punishments, and you did not defy him, especially publicly. Honestly though, this was pretty extreme even by his standards. It feels like there's something else at work here, something I’m not seeing. Like if the opportunity hadn’t presented itself at the wedding, he’d have found a reason.”
“What are you thinking, Ash?” Jade interjected.
“At the wedding, my father was... something. Wrong. He was faster than he should have been, and stronger. A lot. His eyes...”
As they continued discussing what this might mean, my mind slipped away into the depths of my sorrow, succumbing to the guilt that was now eating me alive. If I’d simply said good luck and walked away like I knew I should, Andrew would still be alive. Ash said he wasn't sure, but he was most likely just trying to make me feel better.
Does that sound like the Ash you know? a voice purred in my mind.
No. The truth was that it didn’t sound like him at all. He tended to ere on the side of painfully honest, at least most of the time. He does have his moments, though.
Indeed, he does, the voice purred, again. He is strong and brave. He would make a fine mate and Anchor.
He really would. Wait... mate?! What the hell... I began, but she interrupted me.
Not what... Who. I am you, and you are me. We are one and we are both.
You... You killed Henry Tennyn, I accused.
He murdered his son, the Anchor, your beloved who gave me to you, she purred. It was vengeance… justice.
Andrew gets beloved, but Ash is our MATE? Sure, it seems like there's more to him than I thought, and something doesn’t add up, but at this point, I don't know anything except my BELOVED... is dead. I have no mate, I clarified.
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