Veiled Guardian: A Borne of Angels Novel (The Awakening Book 1)

by Leigha Wolffe

  She smelled different, too. More like the way she had smelled when she’d shifted or when her wings had come out. They weren’t out now, but I got the distinct impression if she chose to make that move no one would see it happen until it was too late.

  I stalked toward her trying to get a read on exactly what had changed in her. She held out her hand to me, beckoning me to her. My wolf responded eagerly, but he wasn’t the only one. The monstrous beast inside me rubbed up against the bars of his cage and whimpered. He begged to be closer to her.

  She sank her fingers into our fur, and I felt a contented grumble low in his chest. It only lasted a moment as my spine began to tingle, alerting me to the fact that the wolves had made it through the wards, and he was instantly back on guard. As the tingle along my spine peaked and began to relent, I shivered. Then Alex laid her head on our shoulder and nuzzled into our neck, I shivered again. I felt the beast do the same, but he took it a step further, dropping to his belly and rolling over like a puppy. The monster I’d kept caged all these years had fully gone belly up for this remarkable woman. Apparently, it hadn’t been just me in love with her all this time. But love didn’t make him trustworthy. He was still a demon.

  She stood and backed away, eliciting a whine of objection from both of us, then nodded twice in the directions the other wolves were approaching from, indicating she knew they were there. That was impossible though. Jade came closer to Alex, smirking at me even in the midst of this tense situation. My Goddess, that woman was petty for a goddess.

  Am not, I heard in my head. I snapped my head up to glare at her, and she stuck her tongue out at me. Really? Wow.

  I’d taken up a defensive position in front of her just before the first wolf burst into the clearing, followed by the second. I was surprised Alex had allowed me, but not nearly as surprised as I was by what happened next.

  Both wolves eyed Alex warily, but made their way toward me, ears flattened, tails tucked, and bellies almost dragging the ground. They slunk toward me, dropped fully to the ground, and said simultaneously, Alpha.

  Say what now? Alpha? I don’t think so. I was about to correct them when the other pair appeared slightly to our right, repeating the scene the other two had played out only moments ago.

  Fucking pack link. They could find each other anywhere. I had worried about that, but I’d been very careful to give no one reason to come looking for anything pertaining to me anywhere other than exactly where I was supposed to be. Now I had to deal with this, and I was pretty sure I knew what this was.

  I’m not your Alpha. Why are you here?

  The wolves looked back and forth at each other, confused. Finally, one of them, who seemed to be older and the unofficial leader of the group spoke through our pack link.

  Alpha Tennyn, he began, I feared we would be too late. It has taken us all this time to find you, our rightful Alpha, and the Anchor heir. We need you and the Guardian to come with us so we may complete the ceremony. The Veil is weak. Demons are slipping through. We need to transfer the Anchor before the Veil falls and all is lost.

  I am not your Alpha, I repeated.

  “Gentlemen, please, let’s be civil, shall we?” I heard Jade’s musical voice from my right, trying to calm the situation. “Why don’t we all change and converse in our human forms? Your Guardian can’t hear you as she is not a wolf.”

  The older wolf’s head whipped toward Jade, and he scented the air. First, that ‘Guardian’ isn’t one of us. She’s the reason we are without an Anchor. We don’t trust her, he admitted, turning his head back to face me as I growled in defense of Alex. She slaughtered Henry. We do not feel safe in human form. We’re faster this way. Second, he said as he turned back to face Jade. How did you hear us? You are neither wolf nor human. What are you? He lowered his head and growled at her for good measure.

  Bad idea, man. I rolled my wolf eyes, but it was too late. The damage was done.

  Jade’s ethereal glow increased a hundred-fold. She was so bright that she was hard to look at, and her eyes looked like lightbulbs sunk into her skull. Her voice, though... her voice was the worst part, like a nightmare. It sounded like I imagined it felt to have your skin peeled away one layer at a time.

  “I AM GAIA! YOUR EARTH MOTHER! I AM THE VERY GODDESS YOU WORSHIP, WHO GIVES YOU YOUR POWER. YOU WILL SPEAK TO ME WITH THE RESPECT I DESERVE FROM ONE OF MY OWN CHILDREN.” She sounded like several people speaking at the same time, through a bullhorn, and the power in her words made the Alpha commands Henry had thrown about seem like a pup playing at being a grown up.

  All four wolves dropped to the forest floor, cowering as she continued, “YOUR GUARDIAN SOUGHT JUSTICE FOR THE MURDER OF YOUR ANCHOR, AS IS HER RIGHT AND DUTY. JUSTICE YOU SHOULD’VE SOUGHT YOURSELVES. SHE SLAUGHTERED A MURDERER. HENRY TENNYN WAS NOTHING MORE.” They were shaking and pissing and belly up before she finished. She was awful and beautiful and terrifying as hell as she walked toward them. “NOW, CHANGE!”

  All four wolves were human before she finished her command. They were also still on the ground, still cowering in their own piss. Color me impressed, I thought at Jade. She shot me a wink and a nod before she turned to the men now on their knees. She looked like she was about to rip them a new one all over again when she was interrupted by Alex’s hand on her arm.

  “Please don’t. Thank you. You were obviously sticking up for me, but you don’t have to. They’re entitled to their opinion about me, and I don’t blame them for being afraid. I would be, too.”

  Jade’s face softened slightly at Alex’s gentle words. That is, until she looked back at the men. “They need to learn their lesson. And they need to respect you,” she scowled.

  Alex spoke up again, “Sister, dearest, I think they have. And I’m tasked to protect them. Even if that means from you. They get it. Let it be over.” Then she turned to the men in question. “Stand up, please. All of you. There’s no need to grovel in the dirt, but maybe treat your Goddess with a bit more respect moving forward, hmmm?”

  The four cowering wolves stood slowly, looking back and forth between each other and eyeing Alex suspiciously and Jade fearfully.

  “Ash,” Alex called, looking over her shoulder at me, and I huffed in response. “Could you please change back, as well? No one is in danger here.”

  I knew what she was trying to accomplish. We needed to put them at ease so they would share freely. She was right, so against my better judgement, I changed back.

  Alex glanced back at me, losing her new perma-calm attitude for a moment. Her cheeks blushed that beautiful rose I loved on her as she took in my very nude, very human form. Her breath caught as she averted her eyes, and I’d be lying if I said seeing the blush on her cheeks and smelling her desire wasn’t one of the most rewarding experiences of my pathetic life. She wanted me, and she’d wanted me earlier. Then he had ruined everything. Like always.

  Even before the Other made his latest run for freedom, I’d seen a hint of hesitation in Alex’s eyes. Not about the creature living inside of me, him she wasn’t afraid of in the least. No, her hesitation had a name. Andrew. The only reason I was there was because he wasn’t.

  She turned to look back at my face, carefully avoiding the rest of me, and when our eyes met the rest of the world fell away. It always felt that way to me. I’d been in love with her for so long, and even when she couldn’t see me, I’d felt the warmth of her gaze like the light of the sun: bright, beautiful, warm, and life-giving. And she wanted me.

  I was overcome by a flashback of her in the shower: my hands buried in her hair, her hair dripping onto my chest, her breath on my lips, the smell of her desire overpowering my senses. Then I was assaulted by another vision, this one of us in the woods earlier today: the memory of my lips against her skin, the feel of her pulling me up to her by my hair… I was the biggest moron to ever walk the face of this wide world. She’d been in my arms, ready for me, wanting me, and I’d turned away from her. Twice.

  Two short weeks ago, she'd reme
mbered me. She'd seen me as a child, when even my brother couldn't. I still didn’t know how it was possible, but she had. And she'd never seen me again. She couldn’t. My father had made damn certain of that. He’d had his witch strengthen my glamour after that little incident. He'd heard Alex ask about me and didn't want to take any chances, but I knew she'd seen. She'd just never remembered.

  Until now. I couldn't let this go. I'd been an ass, and I knew it, but I'd watched her live her life for 17 years. I'd watched her fall in love with my brother while I was falling in love with her, while neither of them even knew I was there. Literally. How do you tell someone who's only just met you that you've been watching them for almost two decades?

  “Ash!” I was dragged from my reverie by the sound of my name on her lips. Alex was giving me an exasperated look. Apparently, they’d been talking and I hadn’t realized it. Told you the rest of the world fell away.

  “Sorry, what?” I had no idea what they’d been talking about and no way to fake it, so I figured I might as well own it. Maybe this would help convince them I was no one’s Alpha. Wait, was Jade crying? What the hell?

  “Ash,” Alex began, “one of the wolves’ villages was attacked by demons.” She hesitated like she didn’t want to continue. “There were no survivors.”

  I felt reality slam into me, and a chill began at the base of my skull and quickly slid down my spine. No survivors? How could that be? The women, the children, didn’t they evacuate?

  “From what we could tell, there was no time,” the older wolf, now a man, answered, and I guessed I’d been speaking aloud. “They seemed to come through the Veil directly into the village. My mate’s sister… she managed to get a call out to us when they attacked. Just before… We could hear the baby crying…” His eyes looked haunted. Not in the way people usually mean that, not in the way that heals eventually with time, but in the way that lingers your entire life. The things he’d heard during that phone call had burned a mark on his soul that would never fade. I knew exactly how my next words would sound, but I said them anyway.

  “And what is it you want from me?”

  Jade looked disappointed, maybe even angry, but not in the least surprised. Alex looked floored. Her jaw might’ve hit the ground if she were any shorter.

  “Ash, we need to help them. They’ve got everything set up for the ceremony. They’re here to bring us back with them so we can complete the ceremony. Your people need you.”

  “So, you want me. And where are the others now?”

  The older man was still too shaken to respond, so one of the younger wolves spoke this time. “The villages’ wards have all been reinforced until they can be evacuated, sir. Someone knew a witch they trusted to help. Everyone has agreed to gather in the forest at the focal point until the anchor can be transferred and the Veil restored. They’re safe, at least for now.”

  I felt myself nodding and focused my gaze on a tree across the clearing. I knew if I saw Alex’s face, I’d never make it through this.

  “No,” I said clearly, my voice sounding much stronger than I felt. “I’m sorry. You’ll have to find someone else. It can’t be me. There’s clothing and food inside. Please feed yourselves, take a shower, feel free to stay wherever you can find a place to sleep. You’re welcome as long as you want.” I could see their faces fall out of the corner of my eye as I turned to walk into the house. I could feel Alex’s disapproval, her anger, her pain.

  So, this was it, then? This was how I would break what was blossoming between us, how I would finally break her misplaced trust, how I would drive a wedge between us that nothing could remove. This was the moment, the moment it would end before it began.

  I walked through my shattered glass door. Wait, how did my… Whatever. I walked straight back to the bedroom, grabbed a change of clothes, and threw them in a new pack since I’d ditched the other bag racing to get home after I smelled the wolves. I didn’t bother to get dressed. I was going to be running anyway. I heard the four visitors come in with Jade immediately after me and passed them all in the hallway without a glance. If I was lucky, Alex would be too mad to even yell at me before I left, but as I walked back through my shattered back door, ready to change and run, I found out the hard way that I was not lucky.

  I expected to step through the door into the welcoming night and instead walked into a very unwelcoming fist. She hit me hard and right in the jaw. My head snapped to the right, and I lost my footing, hitting the ground hard, barely missing the shards of glass littering the ground. With the wind knocked out of me, I planned to lay there a minute and catch my breath.

  “Get up,” Alex hissed vehemently.

  I got up. I watched her warily, not that it mattered. I didn’t plan on resisting. I would let her do her worst, then I would leave.

  “What the hell is wrong with you, Ash?”

  “Why, whatever do you mean, Princess?”

  “Oh, don’t do that. You know exactly what I mean. You promised me you’d be honest with me. Do you remember that?”

  I remembered.

  “So, were you just telling me what you thought I wanted to hear? Did it mean anything to you?” Alex screamed at me. Tears were starting to gather at the corners of her eyes. Any minute they would spill over, taking with them all my willpower.

  “It meant everything,” I whispered, watching hope fill her eyes. That was somehow worse than despair. I had to get out of there, and that meant I had to break her faith in me. I had to convince her to stop fighting for me. “I’m not the one, Alex. I’m not the guy you want by your side for this.”

  “You’ve been by my side for all of this. Almost literally every second of my new life. Ash, you’re strong and smart and capable, and I trust you. Why wouldn’t I want you by my side for this too.”

  “Because I’m a demon!” I screamed my frustration at her. “Because I won’t make the right decision. When the chips are down, I’ll be selfish. That’s who I am.”

  “I don’t believe that, Ash.”

  “Believe it, Princess. It’s who I’ve always been.” Then for reasons beyond my control I added in a whisper, “It’s who I’ll always be.”

  “That’s Bullshit.”

  “Alex…”

  “No, that’s bullshit! It’s an excuse. You may be one hell of a designer asshat, but you’ve taken care of me every step of the way since this all started. You swept me up mid-fall at the wedding and have kept me from falling since. You invited us into your home, shared your food and water, your clothes and your shower and your bed. You’ve protected me and calmed me and comforted me. You’ve encouraged me and made me laugh, and… you held me like I meant something to you. I thought… You know what, never mind. If that was all a lie, why bother making excuses? Just go. If you don’t want to be here, don’t be. All those acts of kindness and sacrifices were—”

  “For you! I did it for you.”

  Silence. Absolute, impenetrable, stunned silence.

  Damn it. I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep it in forever, but now was not the time for every feeling I’d ever had to come tumbling out of my mouth. I could feel it coming, and I was pretty certain I couldn’t stop it, but maybe this truth would convince her that I was not the Alpha or the Anchor these wolves needed.

  “What do you mean?” she finally asked.

  I made my decision.

  “Alex, when I was 8, my mother was killed. I came to live with my father and his real family. I’d only met him a few times before. Henry didn’t know what to do with me, so he had his witches enchant a ring for me to wear to make me invisible. Then a six-year-old girl saw me at the school, so he had them strengthen the ring’s spell and put a glamour on me so that if someone other than my family saw me, they'd forget instantly. He wanted me to go to school and to learn, to tag along with Andrew and learn about the world, but never be of the world. He said he was afraid of what I might do to the world, but I honestly think it was just punishment for being my mother's son. Hell, he's probably the one th
at killed her.

  “Jade thought I should tell you when we got here, but I never wanted your pity. I’ve known you most of our lives, Alex. I’ve watched your kindness and intelligence and compassion grow and blossom and infect my brother. I knew how you felt about him, and I knew how he felt about you. I was jealous of Andrew for so many things, but nothing so much as getting to be with you.

  “I’ve been in love with you since that first day, Alex. Since the day you saw me when no one else could. And I will choose you, Alex. Every time, at every turn, over everything and everyone else, myself included. I. Will. Choose. You. Those sacrifices... each happened because I chose your happiness, your comfort. That’s why I’m not your guy. Not only am I too messed up to be anyone’s leader, let alone savior, but if it comes down to it—you or the Veil—I’ll do it again. I’ll choose you, and I’ll watch the world burn.”

  She watched me for a moment in silence, her expression unreadable, then her nostrils flared, and with far moe venom than I would have thought her capable of, she hissed, “I’m glad I killed Henry. If that monster wasn’t already dead…”

  It would be too cliché to say I fell a little more in love with her, but in that moment, I knew I’d do whatever was necessary to keep her safe. I’d lay down my life to protect her, and just as I’d predicted, my will crumbled.

  “Ash... I... I don’t even… I’m so sorry,” Alex stuttered through the inevitable pity party.

  “I’ll do it. Tell them I’ll do it. Prep the ceremony. I have to tie up a few things at work. We’ll leave for Germany in the morning. I’ll be here.”

  I shifted mid-turn, picked up my bag, and sped away from the house and the raw look of pity on her face.

  19

  Alex

  As I watched Ash’s wolf run away from me as fast as he could, my heart broke a little more. My heart had been broken so much in the past month, I didn’t think it was possible for it to break anymore, but every time I thought it, the universe provided the means, proving me wrong. That was one of the most horrendous forms of torture I’d ever heard of someone suffering, and it had been practiced on a child. A child! He’d been treated like he was nothing, and so that’s what he thought he was.